Zielke9 Reviews

The Silent Sea (2021)

3 words/phrases to describe the show. Dry, boring, and girl power.

[2/10 · 11 May 2024]

All the women survive and all the men die. You would think this show was written in Hollywood, not Korea.

Every death is predictable long before it happens. The logic of the characters makes no sense as well. The girl is betrayed twice by the main character and she still trusts her for some reason. Oh, and the girl can survive on the moon. When the main character was infected, I had no doubt whatsoever that she was going to be just fine, because girl power.

By episode 3 I was just waiting for the series to end. There was a little suspense every now and then but most of it was lost knowing they were just going to take the cliche way out.

I'm a pretty big fan of Korean tv and movies, and I don't usually judge them to the same standards as I do US TV and movies, but instead of making something compelling, they went the Hollywood route, and made something dry, boring, and almost entirely predictable.

The main character was the least likeable character in the show. She's mad the government could be hiding something from them while at the same time, she is hiding information from the crew. I dont think at any point during the show, did they make any effort to make me want to care about her character.

The Woman King (2022)

Pure fantasy

[1/10 · 15 March 2024]

This movie is a complete reimagining of history.

Once again trying to convince people that history I somehow subjective. The tribe this movie is based on were slavery. They were not the heros or the victims. They murdered, enslaved, and sold other Africans at every chance they could get.

Not to mention that they lost a war where the other side took little to no casualties.

This movie belongs in the fantasy section since the only people who could possibly believe it was remotely true are living in a fantasy.

Stop trying to re-write history and gaslight everyone who appreciates history for what it is.

Damsel (2024)

Predictable and badly written

[2/10 · 15 March 2024]

This movie was extremely predictable. As soon as I heard the dragon was female, I already knew they would team up at the end. But it didn't start there. It was predictable from the start. It was obvious the marriage was a sham and of course the prince would betray her, he's a straight white male. I was a little surprised they killed a black knight,but he was a man so I wasn't too surprised.

They wrote the dragon trying to be exactly like smaug, except stupid since she could have killed the girl a few different times. The message of underestimating women was very clear although I'm sure the writers thought they were being clever and subtle.

The acting was terrible and over the top. The only actress that was convincing at all was the evil queen and the girls father, although there roles were so small that maybe they only seemed ok because they didn't have enough screen time to mess it up.

The only thing this movie had going for it was that the main character didn't just breeze through. She did have to struggle a couple of times and she did get hurt even though it was only slightly compared to what had actually happened to her.

Poor acting Poor writing Predictable Unoriginal.

28 Days Haunted (2022– )

Bad is putting it litely

[1/10 · 31 October 2022]

I believe that the investigators believe it's real. My guess is that it wasn't called 28 days in a place rigged with effects with delusional attention seekers, because that title would be too long.

If you like shows like ancient aliens then this is right up your alley. Three teams of people who are either dishonest or delusional spend 28 days in three locations that are supposedly haunted. None of their "evidence" is tangible, as usual, and their findings are easily rigged by the producers.

But of course there would be no show if nothing happened so, to not waste their money, they made things happen.

Me Time (2022)

Refreshing movie in a time of garbage retellings

[8/10 · 4 September 2022]

This movie was pretty good. During a time of cookie cutout movie remakes that care more about shoving a message down your throat then writing a good story, this one was refreshing to see. Simple but funny.

Personally, I think the bad reviews are because they didn't follow the current Hollywood rules, and made characters that were all relatable, though a bit over the top. The men weren't bumbling morons, the women had faults, and it criticized current culture. Some people just don't like when others are having fun. Not a perfect movie but a good one.

Kevin heart did great playing a stay at home dad taking good care of his kids and still learning from his own mistakes. Mark Wahlberg did great playing an irresponsible adult child, and both had some good chemistry. I enjoyed it.

The Witcher: Family (2021) Season 2, Episode 8

Went from a good well written show to a lazy one.

[4/10 · 20 December 2021]

The show was great in season one and most of season 2 was good as well, but then the show got lazy. The last episode was one of the worst. Very unrealistic scenes with people standing around waiting while things are going on around them. Solutions that just kinda happen because the story needs them to rather then the events making sense. It feels like it was written by someone who watches a lot of day time TV or lifetime channel movies.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)

Mediocre at best.

[5/10 · 18 November 2021]

The movie was boring and unsurprising. There was never a time that I had to worry about any of the characters. About 95% of the movie was predictable and the only thing that really surprised me is that they didn't kill of either of the white characters. The sister was entirely unnecessary and another marvel Mary Sue. Every time she was on screen, all tension was lost.

If marvel wrote female characters as competent people who can sometimes fail, it would make for a more compelling story, but as long as they have to push female empowerment messages like they are trying to break through to people still living in the 1920's, it will always come off as boring and unnecessary. How did the dragon go from being super powerful to all of a sudden super weak everytime they wanted the sister to participate?

Akwafina was annoying but sometimes a little funny. I would go back and fourth between liking her character and not liking her character at all. If they kept akwafina and didn't have the sister or if the sister had faults and they took out akwafina, it would have made for a much better story.

And no one likes captain marvel aside from about 1% of the entire marvel fan base, including the actors. Why do they keep trying to shove her into end credit scenes when she just makes people more disappointed everytime she's on screen?

Why is banner's arm in a sling? Hulk prevents him from getting seriously injured, so it just doesn't make sense.

These woke writers need to start paying attention to the source material and stop making up rules as they go.

Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Ruined and super lame.

[1/10 · 24 August 2021]

It was lazy and terribly done. If you minus the wokeness from the film it was ok at best. It lacked the heart of the originals.

The original was about two dufuses who stumbled their way through time to save their grade and become the most radical band in human history.

This movie completely craped on everything the first two movies established.

And their changes were dumb and only made to appease a small fraction of movie goers who never cared about the originals at all.

Deaths accent was weird. The original leader in the future was a black guy but for some reason the movie changed that to a white women. Kid cutti is an idiot but they portray him as some kind of genius. Their sons were changed to daughters just so women can save the day even though their daughters have no skills or talents at all. They act like their dads but it's not any kind of achievement since anyone can do that.

It's like the writers forgot to write the story but when the time to film came they quickly rushed this terrible trash at the last minute with no thought at all.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

Very poorly written, but better then the first

[5/10 · 8 August 2021]

Better then suicide squad but still has too many problems.

Probably would've been better without the need to insert their liberal message into everything.

"The message" 1. The white alpha males turn bad or die. Even the white beta male is killed off. Or starts tough and ends up being a whimpering coward that runs away.

2. Despite the two white people in the office having a problem with waller they do nothing and it takes a black women to stand up and do something.

3. The bad guy president is also an alpha male.

4. Bad guy scientist is also a white male.

5. Waller, who is obviously a bad guy, is stopped but isnt punished in any way because she's black.

6. Harley quin is bulletproof, I guess. She's a marry sue that no one is concerned about dying because we know they won't kill her off since she's female.

7. Can't save quin because she's female so she has to save herself.

The writing 1. The opening scene was pointless except to get quin and flag onto the island.

2. The guard turns his back on quin close enough to be killed.

3. In the club, they could've just killed the soldiers and moved on.

4. The van shows up exactly where they crashed.

5. This was an episode of Rick and morty.

6. The bullets couldn't penetrate the eye but a spear could?

7. Polka dots could've just killed the starfish early on at the base of the tower.

8. Harley quin is a Mary Sue. Somehow all bullets miss her. They could've started with removing fingers but nope because the story.

Other issues 1. The only characters that were both unliked and unnecessary were waller and quin.

2. The reason the other characters deaths had an impact was because they were liked. If waller or quin died, no one would've cared. People actually might've been happy about it.

3. A single rat is not gonna do much against a person.

4. Harley quin. She works as a side character to The Joker and that's about it.

There's probably more but that's what I got for now.

Loki (2021–2023)

More of the same

[4/10 · 25 July 2021]

Loki went from being the most intelligent and cunning villain in the MCU to just another bumbling idiot.

The ending was very disappointing. The timekeeper was too normal and there was nothing menacing or interesting about him. It also didn't make sense for the last of someone to spawn new versions of himself after he's dead.

Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)

The movie itself was terrible. LeBron was just another reason why

[1/10 · 17 July 2021]

One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Nothing redeemable about it. A few people giving it a good score claim the people not liking the movie are just anti-labron, but the truth is the movie is just really really bad.

My guess is the people giving it a good review are just woke people who don't understand how movies are supposed to work.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Pretty bad.

[4/10 · 5 June 2021]

Racism, sexism, and bad acting aside, the movie was ok at best.

As per usual in movies today, the white guy can only be the bumbling beta male or the villain.

A female character who's fault it is that more people died, is who makes it alive out of the helicopter crash without a single injury.

The black guy lives, sort of.

What happened to Geeta?

It was very predictable. It's like writers today are just writing from the same template as each other. As soon as I saw the daughter I knew Bautista would end up dying.

Chambers had plenty of time to reveal the security guy locked her in with the zombies, but just didn't.

Van never got to use his saw on the zombies even though it probably would have done some damage to the big guy.

Too many times it felt like choices were made just so the story could go on. The tiger was pretty much useless. The zombies got back to the casino way too fast when the good guys got there by chopper.

I kinda feel like a 4 is too high but I guess it could've been way worse.

WandaVision (2021– )

7.7 but that's not an option

[8/10 · 12 April 2021]

It's was really good except for a few points.

Great acting all the way through except for Kat Dennings. And Teyonah's character seemed useless the way they failed to expand on her.

If Teyonah Paris is going to be the new captain marvel then I'm all for that. But I would rather she get there from overcoming some kind of struggle, rather then just be given her powers like in most female "empowerment" movies/shows. That's what was wrong with the original captain marvel character. She was OP just because.

It was a bit slow in the beginning and then too quick at the end.

Agatha was way too good of a villain to start and end her character within an episode or two. I would have preferred her reveal to be the end of the season instead so they would have a few more episodes to play with her character before she dies or escapes for later conflict.

I liked how they used quicksilver from the x-men movies to be the fake quicksilver in this show. I thought that was clever.

I loved the retro costumes for Halloween, but weird that her Halloween costume was the same as the costume they used for her real powers later in the finale.

And even though she is actually the bad guy, I felt for her in the finale. It was a good emotional ending.

The Mandalorian (2019– )

Stormtroopers are accurate!

[7/10 · 12 April 2021]

The stormtroopers are elite aimed military units. "And these blast points. Too accurate for sand people. Only empirial stormtroopers could be so precise" -Obi Won Kenobi. They let them escape the death star on purpose!!! Leia even says so. Did anyone actually pay attention to the movies they claim they grew up watching?

The Mandalorian (2019– )

1st season good, last episode of 2nd season good. That's all.

[7/10 · 12 April 2021]

Only one spoiler It started off great, the first season was on point. And then he took the helmet off and it started going down hill from there.

The entire second season minus the last episode was filler. If you took the mandalorian out of the show it would have played out the same, and everytime he has his helmet off, he seems weak and useless.

It's going for female positivity but Gina Carano is the most positive female role model on TV today and probably ever on or off camera, and they cut her for speaking her mind and standing up for what she believes in.

Favreau seems to be doing a pretty good job with every part he has control of but unfortunately Kathleen Kenedy is ruining Disney for everyone and making things difficult for Favreau. He's trying to head the storyline towards legends since he knows what the fans actually want. Which is quality content in an already established star wars verse, not woke trash.

Prank Encounters (2019–2021)

Too good to be true

[5/10 · 12 April 2021]

I like Vort from "the guild" and I believed it for the first season. After starting the second season it was too hard to believe.

The cameras are almost always exactly the right distance from their faces, not too high and not too low and some of the shots are obviously from a hand cam.

It's pretty inclusionsive as far as who they have as guests on the show but if it is real and you're a straight white male, then you don't have a chance to be on the show. Any one else is cool though.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 11: The Heiress (2020) Season 2, Episode 3

Typical. Its getting worse.

[2/10 · 15 November 2020]

This episode sucks. Favreau must have fully lost creative control. The script of the last two episodes have been the same template and its boring and predictable. The hero goes from number 1 badass to 2nd to every female in the galaxy. The bad guys are extremely skilled threats up until they come in contact with a side character and now they're all incompetitent pawns.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 10: The Passenger (2020) Season 2, Episode 2

Not a good episode

[5/10 · 8 November 2020]

It was a poorly written filler episode. Cliche after cliche, predictable moment after predictable moment. Limited imagination. It was basically just that spider scene from Harry Potter but in the snow.

Tremors: Shrieker Island (2020 Video)

It's pretty bad

[2/10 · 26 October 2020]

This series turned 'weekend at bernies' after the second one. The third installment killed it and they've just been parading the series' corpse around on a marionette ever since. Everything happens just as the script needs it to happen and the dialog just jacks itself off. Should of watched something else.

Birds of Prey (2020)

Lazy, sexist, disrespectful, to start.

[1/10 · 10 October 2020]

So basically, a feminist watched a Guy Ritchie movie and thought, yea, I could do that, and then proceeded to prove themselves wrong. I'm not offended that it was sexist but I do find it hypocritical for feminists to complain about sexism and then make a sexist movie. Stop messing with the originals. That's The Joker's chemical plant. It's only a side note that Harley Quinn came out of there. And she fell in love with him at the asylum, by the way.

Mostly what I'm seeing is 'Margot Robbie was cool, but every other aspect of the film was bad. Bad writing, bad directing, bad acting, just all around bad production'.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

Good message, Bad movie

[5/10 · 8 October 2020]

Had some funny moments, and a good message. Bad gimmicks. Seemed like he was trying to sound like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys, and I think it would've been a funnier movie if he made this movie as that character instead. I like most of his old stuff and some of his new stuff, but this one was just meh.

Cobra Kai (2018–2025)

It's almost really good.

[7/10 · 10 September 2020]

7.8, the show starts out pretty strong but after episode 9 it gets really predictable and the writing in general starts going downhill. Im 4 episodes into the second season and im only finishing the rest because I don't like not finishing things. Good characters and pretty good actors, for the most part. But they've only been training for a pretty short time, and they're all already really good at karate. Definitely not the worst thing out there Right now, though.

The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)

Updated review

[2/10 · 5 August 2020]

I wasted way too much time on this terrible show. Some of the worst writing I have ever seen. It was bad and then the last episode of season 2 happened and I was apawled at just how bad it could get. I feel like going into detail would be even more of a waste of my time. Just trust me, don't waste your time.

The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)

6.6 its ok, its almost good

[2/10 · 2 August 2020]

It feels so forced. So many situations that could be easily resolved but they write in some dumb reason it can't be to try and add suspense or drama. Most of the characters are pretty cool but way under utilized. The general story is almost good but feels pretty lazy. Ellen Paige doesn't ruin the show but her scenes are pretty hard to watch...for the most part.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)

Boring

[5/10 · 20 March 2019]

Just goes to show you, JK Rowlings only talent was turning an already existing concept (halloween/witches) into money. And that dead horse has taken about as much of a beating as it can. The film was boring. I had to try and watch it three times before I was able to finish. It felt like she was just making things up as she goes without actually thinking too hard about it. She was just desperate to connect anything she could to the original series. Continuity matters but I don't think she cares.