A female novice pilot who has no business driving a car much less flying a plane, decides to take the most unlikeable group of friends on a plane ride for reasons really unknown. Her mom died on a plane, so I guess she wanted to die too or something. her friends include the most annoying jock character written, a undeveloped boyfriend character (a most important character by the end for some random reason), a love lost emo and a shallow best friend. They end up in a mysterious cloud, things happen that really don't make sense and the ending you see coming a mile away. The main girl is a raging c-word to her pointless boyfriend (apparently this is a important plot point?). These kids sans the boyfriend remind you of the popular kids you hated in high school. The positives reviews Have to be plants from the industry. Avoid this film, the premise is awful and you end up wanting whatever it is in the cloud to eat them faster. Note to writers of these films, stop writing for the twilight, jersey shore crowd and make the characters quasi likable so the viewer can be emotionally invested, I was more sympathetic to whatever was in the clouds than these people.
Reviews
12 Reviews
The Runaways
(2010)
Weak story telling and bad directing broke these Runaways up....
17 June 2010
I don't know why all the love, I thought the movie didn't cover anything about the Runaways in depth, it was random scenes in their career that really didn't jell into a real movie about them or explain anything about their lives. The movie was just the chick from twilight doing a hammy Jett impression and Dakota in not one of her better acting jobs as Cheri.
With that said, the 70's was a interesting time for music and the Runaways were one of the better of that period. This movie was very superficial about their rise and ignores a lot of key details. It doesn't even establish that this band went through various musicians and spanned half a decade. If you took this movie as gospel you would think they had one Hit and maybe two albums in the span of a year then broke up, because a time line is never established.
The movie needed a re-edit to clear through the muddled directing and poor story structure. But it wasn't bad, dunno about recommending it on it's own merits. I had to google about the girls and the band just to figure out what was trying to be told. But hell Joan was in a class of her own in the 80's, in the 70's the Runaways had a lot to learn and a lot of potential. Too bad the movie ignored most of the band and told nothing.
But hell, I guess if you have Dakota fanning acting as a half naked Jailbait 70's rock princess on drugs and The twilight Chick running around in her underwear most people won't see the the plot holes or crappy directing and rave about it's originality for all the wrong reasons.
With that said, the 70's was a interesting time for music and the Runaways were one of the better of that period. This movie was very superficial about their rise and ignores a lot of key details. It doesn't even establish that this band went through various musicians and spanned half a decade. If you took this movie as gospel you would think they had one Hit and maybe two albums in the span of a year then broke up, because a time line is never established.
The movie needed a re-edit to clear through the muddled directing and poor story structure. But it wasn't bad, dunno about recommending it on it's own merits. I had to google about the girls and the band just to figure out what was trying to be told. But hell Joan was in a class of her own in the 80's, in the 70's the Runaways had a lot to learn and a lot of potential. Too bad the movie ignored most of the band and told nothing.
But hell, I guess if you have Dakota fanning acting as a half naked Jailbait 70's rock princess on drugs and The twilight Chick running around in her underwear most people won't see the the plot holes or crappy directing and rave about it's originality for all the wrong reasons.
Seed
(2006)
animal torture, baby cruelty and a sucky stupid ending. spoilers.
9 March 2010
Warning: Spoilers
If at least the cruelty and drawn out deaths had a purpose to the story to justify their inclusion but the script was just unintelligible and just plain stupid.
It went nowhere, the story had no legible continuity. It was just a bunch of drawn out pointless snuff scenes and a really stupid ending tacked on as if to say.. "the end *beep* you my haters and my few defenders for watching my garbage."
I don't get it, a masked murderer who never had his mask removed in prison, a prison rape scene that was suppose to be the guards raping a a ugly deformed serial killer and getting killed by him and nothing else? no explanation, no punishment, a really weak main cop character that was a waste of a actor like Pare, who didn't try to off the guy who killed his cops, tortured a baby, a woman and a dog and sent them to you to watch on video.
Cops who for some unknown reason all wandered off in the dark by themselves (individually) in his farm house at night like a bunch of poorly written teenage characters to be killed one at a time like a bunch of idiots, and no other cop hears them die in the darkness one after the other and just keep wandering around for no reason till each is killed in turn.
A bunch of horrible real life animal snuff scenes in the beginning for no reason or explanation, was he reminiscing, was he watching it to masturbate, was it comedy for him... what was it? nope Boll just thought to throw it in to upset animal lovers.. whatever.
then Pare believing the word of a psycho path to let his family go if he kills himself... a more gullible, stupider cop you never saw in a film.
I dunno why I try not to totally hate his works. I try to find some reason to explain a horror writers art but this stuff... pure crap.
Boll what are you doing anymore? I hope you figure it out because I know a lot of more deserving people who can't dream to get the budget you get over and over again to make their movies.
If you want to see Boll actually at his best check out "Postal" it was actually okay.
It went nowhere, the story had no legible continuity. It was just a bunch of drawn out pointless snuff scenes and a really stupid ending tacked on as if to say.. "the end *beep* you my haters and my few defenders for watching my garbage."
I don't get it, a masked murderer who never had his mask removed in prison, a prison rape scene that was suppose to be the guards raping a a ugly deformed serial killer and getting killed by him and nothing else? no explanation, no punishment, a really weak main cop character that was a waste of a actor like Pare, who didn't try to off the guy who killed his cops, tortured a baby, a woman and a dog and sent them to you to watch on video.
Cops who for some unknown reason all wandered off in the dark by themselves (individually) in his farm house at night like a bunch of poorly written teenage characters to be killed one at a time like a bunch of idiots, and no other cop hears them die in the darkness one after the other and just keep wandering around for no reason till each is killed in turn.
A bunch of horrible real life animal snuff scenes in the beginning for no reason or explanation, was he reminiscing, was he watching it to masturbate, was it comedy for him... what was it? nope Boll just thought to throw it in to upset animal lovers.. whatever.
then Pare believing the word of a psycho path to let his family go if he kills himself... a more gullible, stupider cop you never saw in a film.
I dunno why I try not to totally hate his works. I try to find some reason to explain a horror writers art but this stuff... pure crap.
Boll what are you doing anymore? I hope you figure it out because I know a lot of more deserving people who can't dream to get the budget you get over and over again to make their movies.
If you want to see Boll actually at his best check out "Postal" it was actually okay.
Jennifer's Body
(2009)
No it wasn't good. But Good is subjective.
8 November 2009
The ending was the only redeeming thing in this film. If you thought this was a really good or really bad you need to watch more movies. It wasn't good but it was far from horrible. A very mediocre and possibly forgettable film, Maybe next time around Diablo will make a better script, but this movie was just poorly written especially by a talented writer like her , Megan Fox really cannot act very well and cannot hold up as a lead so Hollywood needs to stop making her one, she needs more acting lessons or personality to hold her own. Being pretty only gets you so far before the masses actually ask for skill to back yourself up.
Heathers was a much better film, this movie borrowed a lot in spirit if not in story from that film. The characters dialog was very flat and while Juno like characters talking like hip, lazy text messengers works for the A.D.D. generation it gets tired real quick for me personally. It was just a movie that needed a little more rewriting and better directing to make it a 'good' film. It was OK, but I've seen a lot of Okay on the made for DVD rack and this is one of those that should of gone straight to DVD. Maybe next time around they will do better, But this movie had more promise and just not enough delivery. Watch it once if it pops up on cable or rent it then forget about it, Your not likely to pay attention all the way through the first time so why spend any real money by adding it to your collection or going to the movies to see it.
But thats just my opinion....
Heathers was a much better film, this movie borrowed a lot in spirit if not in story from that film. The characters dialog was very flat and while Juno like characters talking like hip, lazy text messengers works for the A.D.D. generation it gets tired real quick for me personally. It was just a movie that needed a little more rewriting and better directing to make it a 'good' film. It was OK, but I've seen a lot of Okay on the made for DVD rack and this is one of those that should of gone straight to DVD. Maybe next time around they will do better, But this movie had more promise and just not enough delivery. Watch it once if it pops up on cable or rent it then forget about it, Your not likely to pay attention all the way through the first time so why spend any real money by adding it to your collection or going to the movies to see it.
But thats just my opinion....
Necromentia
(2009)
Despite all the hate, Hellraiser and Saw isn't a bad mix for a movie.
15 October 2009
I saw this film not knowing what to expect. But by the time I had finished this film I had gone down a Vintage Clive Barker style Hell Bound Heart Journey into the minds of a small group of tortured souls. The Story narration is broken and reformed at the end (ala Pulp Fiction) but if you get as immersed as I did you will want to watch it again to see how the pieces fit together a second time.
This movie makes one think of just what reasons would cause a person to go to Hell under their own volition?, It caught me on why some of the characters for no regards for their existences will learn in a cinematic way the price they would pay for their immortal souls.
This movie is a unapologetic horror film, no stupid jokes to kill the mood, no over the top Teen or 20 something actors to get kids and teenagers that shouldn't watch this fair to watch. No cliché overly predictable moments and no dumbing down of dialog to keep the A.D.D. crowd watching. If you have a short attention span and need a movie where you don't have to pay attention to get the story... you are not the audience for this film.
It's gory, Horrific, didn't use a lot of computer graphics (if any) and Well known actors to tell it's story but if you give it a chance as the modest budget film that it was and are a REAL horror fan you will be pleasantly surprised but taste is subjective.
Ignore the haters, the internet tends to breed this over the top critic mentality where hate for the sake of hate is the coin of the realm.
It stands very strong on it's own feet. Now when do I get some figures of the the Monsters from this film?
This movie makes one think of just what reasons would cause a person to go to Hell under their own volition?, It caught me on why some of the characters for no regards for their existences will learn in a cinematic way the price they would pay for their immortal souls.
This movie is a unapologetic horror film, no stupid jokes to kill the mood, no over the top Teen or 20 something actors to get kids and teenagers that shouldn't watch this fair to watch. No cliché overly predictable moments and no dumbing down of dialog to keep the A.D.D. crowd watching. If you have a short attention span and need a movie where you don't have to pay attention to get the story... you are not the audience for this film.
It's gory, Horrific, didn't use a lot of computer graphics (if any) and Well known actors to tell it's story but if you give it a chance as the modest budget film that it was and are a REAL horror fan you will be pleasantly surprised but taste is subjective.
Ignore the haters, the internet tends to breed this over the top critic mentality where hate for the sake of hate is the coin of the realm.
It stands very strong on it's own feet. Now when do I get some figures of the the Monsters from this film?
My take on this film while watching...
2 October 2009
so wait are you supporters for or against drugging and raping a 13 year old or not?
Everyone on his side makes excuses but EVEN if it was consensual which it wasn't she was underage. I see people who support Polanski MAYBE making a argument if the girl was almost legal, wanted it and the guy excised bad judgment but c'Mon she was 13, drugged, said no and he fled the country. Even in Europe that's not even jail bait it's still pedophilia, it's not okay just because he's rich and people like his films.
My take: It's not a witch hunt if you did it, admitted you did it and ran.
Summation of the Documentary:
I dunno anymore, Hollywood just continues to make less sense. I'm not a bible thumper or a letter of the law kind of guy but this is just bizarre. I liked Chinatown too but the man needs to serve for his crime.
This Documentary was very skewed..... was produced well but I left feeling the film needed a rebuttal film. Too one sided for my personal taste on this subject with sprinkles of 'Americans Hate foreigners' and 'He had a tough life' to excuse the crime thrown in. But watch or not I don't feel most people will change their view one way or another.
Pity his life BUT remember the little girl was the victim not Polanski he was a adult when he made his choices.
As for the director himself his works speak for itself.
Everyone on his side makes excuses but EVEN if it was consensual which it wasn't she was underage. I see people who support Polanski MAYBE making a argument if the girl was almost legal, wanted it and the guy excised bad judgment but c'Mon she was 13, drugged, said no and he fled the country. Even in Europe that's not even jail bait it's still pedophilia, it's not okay just because he's rich and people like his films.
My take: It's not a witch hunt if you did it, admitted you did it and ran.
Summation of the Documentary:
I dunno anymore, Hollywood just continues to make less sense. I'm not a bible thumper or a letter of the law kind of guy but this is just bizarre. I liked Chinatown too but the man needs to serve for his crime.
This Documentary was very skewed..... was produced well but I left feeling the film needed a rebuttal film. Too one sided for my personal taste on this subject with sprinkles of 'Americans Hate foreigners' and 'He had a tough life' to excuse the crime thrown in. But watch or not I don't feel most people will change their view one way or another.
Pity his life BUT remember the little girl was the victim not Polanski he was a adult when he made his choices.
As for the director himself his works speak for itself.
Grotesque
(2009)
what the hell was this??
8 August 2009
I'm a big fan of Horror and especially import Horror movies, But this wasn't my thing at all. The new wave snuff films (or rebirth of 70's uber violent films) are just not my taste... this movie is a prime example of these pointless torture movies, While in context the aspect of torture in a horror film i.e. Saw, Hellraiser, Texas chainsaw (the original) etc... works great because it's bad people getting their come up-pence or just a cautionary of the cruelty of man but this film is just a fictionalized snuff film with no story what so ever. Watching people getting brutally killed (particularly those who were just there) for the bulk of the movie then.... "the end" after some silly f/x does nothing for me except feeling a little dirty for watching this piece of trash.
If you a fan of Devils rejects, Vacancy and the like check it out but if you are like me a little and like at least a little mental stimulation with your gore fix skip this one.
If you a fan of Devils rejects, Vacancy and the like check it out but if you are like me a little and like at least a little mental stimulation with your gore fix skip this one.
Bone Sickness
(2004 Video)
A movie that never ends even on fast forward....
18 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I sat through this film that managed to drag and not explain anything at the same time, The film when on, and on, and on, and on, not in a good way either....
I like bad horror movies, the scariest thing about this one was the inability to end the movie sooner...
The good: the credits in the film and the cover art looked very good.
The bad of the film... everything else.
Bad movie broken down.....
Plot spoiler and Story Summary:
Guy gets sick,
Idiot friend and Girlfriend decides feeding him crushed bones hidden in a broth to heal him, For no reason in the story you see idiot friends girlfriend every once in a while then get killed off,
THEN a Detective story line that goes nowhere in the middle with the detective getting killed off,
Then the dead get upset about being eaten and come back to eat the living.
Then The guy whose sick turns into some ghoul eats girlfriend, turns on friend and ends up secretly knowing everything that happened.
The end? no not quite,
THEN some really dumb scene with two witch demon things near the end try to explain why stuff is happening in the movie. (tacked on rewrites maybe? who cares anymore) for who knows what reason, explaining why the dead have risen to the boy and they have to kill him because he saw them feed. (wtf?) and Boy ghoul gets killed by zombies after he kills ever other character in the story.
The end? no you would pray so but no....
THEN drag the movie on for a pointless military versus undead shoot out, that goes on too long for no reason. The soldiers die in a way you begin to pray this crap fest should.
The End? No,no,no...
THEN have a bio-hazard team killing civilians for no reason, some car explosions...(I kid you not) and Zombies killing them.....
Is it over yet? are you kidding....
THEN show a winter scene with a poorly acted voice over asking if anyone is still alive.....with a zombie walking in the snow...
The end? I think so but who knows what was thrown in after the credits.
now these things maybe can work, on individual levels to make a good movie but it doesn't here. because the writer/director might have A.D.D. because the story changes and pointless stuff getting tacked in for no reason whatsoever over and over again killed the movie. I think the people making this film weren't paying attention to their own movie.
Next time remember guys, Less is more... especially in a low budget horror movie. Tell your story quick and get out. there was easily 40 minutes that could of been trimmed off this film and too many side stories that did nothing but hurt your efforts.
Maybe next time you can get it right.
The Gore was buckets of kool-aid, worms, jello and plastic wrap. the zombies looked okay, not great but okay.
If you are actually masochistic enough to read this review then... watch the movie. everyone else skip it.
I like bad horror movies, the scariest thing about this one was the inability to end the movie sooner...
The good: the credits in the film and the cover art looked very good.
The bad of the film... everything else.
Bad movie broken down.....
Plot spoiler and Story Summary:
Guy gets sick,
Idiot friend and Girlfriend decides feeding him crushed bones hidden in a broth to heal him, For no reason in the story you see idiot friends girlfriend every once in a while then get killed off,
THEN a Detective story line that goes nowhere in the middle with the detective getting killed off,
Then the dead get upset about being eaten and come back to eat the living.
Then The guy whose sick turns into some ghoul eats girlfriend, turns on friend and ends up secretly knowing everything that happened.
The end? no not quite,
THEN some really dumb scene with two witch demon things near the end try to explain why stuff is happening in the movie. (tacked on rewrites maybe? who cares anymore) for who knows what reason, explaining why the dead have risen to the boy and they have to kill him because he saw them feed. (wtf?) and Boy ghoul gets killed by zombies after he kills ever other character in the story.
The end? no you would pray so but no....
THEN drag the movie on for a pointless military versus undead shoot out, that goes on too long for no reason. The soldiers die in a way you begin to pray this crap fest should.
The End? No,no,no...
THEN have a bio-hazard team killing civilians for no reason, some car explosions...(I kid you not) and Zombies killing them.....
Is it over yet? are you kidding....
THEN show a winter scene with a poorly acted voice over asking if anyone is still alive.....with a zombie walking in the snow...
The end? I think so but who knows what was thrown in after the credits.
now these things maybe can work, on individual levels to make a good movie but it doesn't here. because the writer/director might have A.D.D. because the story changes and pointless stuff getting tacked in for no reason whatsoever over and over again killed the movie. I think the people making this film weren't paying attention to their own movie.
Next time remember guys, Less is more... especially in a low budget horror movie. Tell your story quick and get out. there was easily 40 minutes that could of been trimmed off this film and too many side stories that did nothing but hurt your efforts.
Maybe next time you can get it right.
The Gore was buckets of kool-aid, worms, jello and plastic wrap. the zombies looked okay, not great but okay.
If you are actually masochistic enough to read this review then... watch the movie. everyone else skip it.
Night Watch
(2004)
A interesting piece.
16 July 2005
A GOOD film, despite being weak at some points and repetitive in others. The movie conveys something that western ideals in filming need to take notice of. While using what is fundamentally a classic B-movie Premise it manages to deliver a kind of originality that Hollywood seems to miss with what is becoming more pointlessly bland and formulaic churn factory productions that seems to squeeze out all originality for redundant plot devices and watered down remakes.
Will the Nightwatch or the Daywatch win? Is the 'Other' more than a prophecy? Watch it and find out.
A Message to Hollywood: Forget the remakes start bringing films like this over for America to see in their original forms and let them be judged by their own merits.
Will the Nightwatch or the Daywatch win? Is the 'Other' more than a prophecy? Watch it and find out.
A Message to Hollywood: Forget the remakes start bringing films like this over for America to see in their original forms and let them be judged by their own merits.
Oldboy
(2003)
thought provoking and deeply disturbing at the same time.
16 July 2005
When I first heard of this movie I was rather dismissive about it but what a mistake that would have been had I choose not to see it. The lead protagonist is kidnapped on his daughters 3rd birthday and imprisoned for 15 years in a room in the guise of a sleazy motel room without any explanation. After being driven mad from solitude he's released into a world he no longer knows to uncover why he was imprisoned and for what ends would he go for the sake of vengeance?
But the bigger question soon becomes can this rabid dog escape his lease and return to the man he once was?
It is an interesting piece; a excellent film on the dysfunction that is rapidly becoming human existence and proving all is never black and white. If you want to see a truly twisted tale check this out if nothing else it delivers and keeps you hooked wondering what next?
But the bigger question soon becomes can this rabid dog escape his lease and return to the man he once was?
It is an interesting piece; a excellent film on the dysfunction that is rapidly becoming human existence and proving all is never black and white. If you want to see a truly twisted tale check this out if nothing else it delivers and keeps you hooked wondering what next?
Masked Avengers
(1981)
The Shaw Brothers Venom gang at it's finest.
20 May 2005
Warning: Spoilers
When I was a child I lived for these classic Martial arts flicks, above all was the films done by the Shaw Brothers. As proved with the Kill Bill movies, seeing that SB in front of a film you knew you were in for a ride.
Cha Shou or Masked Avengers as I knew it was absolutely no exception, My personal favorite above all the other Venom gang films this one starts out with a pretty straight forward premise. The surviving members and friends of families assassinated by a guild of killers known only as 'The Mask' (because of their trademark Bronze mask) vow to hunt down and kill these assassins.The Mask are already prepared for these so called 'Avengers' and lay out trap after trap and battle after battle killing them up until a classic Kung-Fu show down not to be missed. Plus as a added plot point actor Philip Kwoks(Lizard of 5 Venoms fame)character 'the cook' of the hotel in which the heroes reside has a plan of vengeance his own.
If you are a fan of these classic films and especially a fan of the Venom Gang you have to see this film. Like it or hate it, it'll be a hell of ride your in for watching this film. So what are you waiting for? Go check it out.
Cha Shou or Masked Avengers as I knew it was absolutely no exception, My personal favorite above all the other Venom gang films this one starts out with a pretty straight forward premise. The surviving members and friends of families assassinated by a guild of killers known only as 'The Mask' (because of their trademark Bronze mask) vow to hunt down and kill these assassins.The Mask are already prepared for these so called 'Avengers' and lay out trap after trap and battle after battle killing them up until a classic Kung-Fu show down not to be missed. Plus as a added plot point actor Philip Kwoks(Lizard of 5 Venoms fame)character 'the cook' of the hotel in which the heroes reside has a plan of vengeance his own.
If you are a fan of these classic films and especially a fan of the Venom Gang you have to see this film. Like it or hate it, it'll be a hell of ride your in for watching this film. So what are you waiting for? Go check it out.
Resident Evil
(2002)
Resident Evil, Where?
27 July 2004
Going into this movie I had high expectations on this film, being a fan of the game for which it was named. Now if you don't know the game this is a 'okay' if somewhat lackluster Zombie film, After all it's standard fair for a movie of it's type.My problems with it stems from the fact this movie has NOTHING to do with it's source material but name alone. It felt like it was written by someone that didn't even read the crib sheets for the Resident Evil Game but ONLY skimmed them(briefly).That is my biggest complaint, it seems standard fair these days in Hollywood to slap on a name recognition titles on to movies with little to do with the source material. That's my complaint to the point, if this film had been more faithful to it's title (No Tyrant, Mansion, Jill, Chris or ANY characters from the game used or referenced to in the slightest.)I might have enjoyed it more.But as it stands it's at best a sub par overrated zombie film with a misplaced title. Resident Evil, Where?
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