gpknopp Reviews

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

My 14 Year Old Daugher Says: Weak Porridge!

[5/10 · 25 January 2023]

So me, single hot dad in Hawaii, watched this with my daughter, who thankfully has had some arts education and recognized it as the weak drivel that it is. I mean, gags are as fun as gags are as funny, I suppose, so there's some of that, but there's a little much too material directed at feline fetishists, and I say this as one, or not, anyway, the idea of visual gags being incredibly funny or surprising in an animated universe seems to assume that the viewer is infantile. To me, the movie was like a really long and entertaining youtube video, or the first time you play some story line oriented game. You kind of know what gag is coming next...

Yes, I think the smarmy and gratuitous appeal to cat fetishists is annoying. Then again, cats are cool and can do things like jump 12 times their height, or something. They are also fantastically good at sleeping, as I am.

Watching this with my daughter yesterday was a father-daughter bonding experience because we both were making fun of this stupid movie. It is what it is.

It is an irrelevant art form, at this point, and so it attracts less talent.

The core problem is that the story has no story to tell, so it tries to engage the viewer in an identity crisis. Sign of the times.

The Outlaws (2021– )

For the Visually Impaired?

[9/10 · 24 April 2022]

Visually, this show is impressive, with tight video production and editing, but what really shines is the sound production. I listened with some good headphones, as I do with lots of shows, and the show has amazing sound, in terms of soundtrack, use of ambient and spatial sound, excellent recording levels, and nearly stands on its own as entertainment.

The story line is tight, and seems, like Ted Lasso, to be centered on empathy and compassion. The brutality is muted, and many scenes are setups for memorable crackups. It's very nearly family friendly, with ribald English humor, of course. Chistopher Walken is doing some awesome work (Walkenaissance?), and the character acting is, for the most part, very engaging.

The Adam Project (2022)

I couldn't get past Jennifer Garner's wooden acting.

[2/10 · 2 April 2022]

I don't have a grudge against her, why would I? But Jennifer Garner is not a good actor. I guess she's gotten by with other appeal, but I couldn't watch an actor who is clearly acting like they are acting, doesn't seem comfortable in their own skin, and almost seems like they don't know how real people behave. I really can't handle that reaction she has, it's always the same. Garner has a palette of maybe 3 or 4 different emotions to work with. Sorry, but I couldn't get past this. She was good in Alias, but something like 16 Going On 30 was terrifically cringeworthy, for instance.

The premise is fine, and I may go back and just skip the scenes with Garner in them. I expect pulpy science fiction over quirky gags from Reynolds, but perhaps I'll be pleasantly surprised.

The Power of the Dog (2021)

Poor sense of place, a western that exists only in the mind.

[5/10 · 15 March 2022]

What bugs me about this movie is that each set exists in a highly unnatural version of the American West that is apparently limited by the Director's poor understanding of nature and sense of place. The tiny corral is found right outside the main house, which would never happen because dust. The set doesn't resemble a real ranch in any real way. The river is somewhere over there, and there's no understanding of what the American west is really like. The movie feels like a foreign land, which makes sense because it was filmed in New Zealand.

In a way, there is a trickery to this movie. Every scene is within a highly idealized and unnatural set. There's no sense of place. Westerns that do not tap into the beauty and ruggedness of the American West are not new, but with this film each scene appears to be a vignette only occurring in the mind of the writer or director. Of course, desperate characters only live in their own minds.

Uncle Buck (1989)

Ah, better times.

[8/10 · 25 June 2020]

A John Hughes masterpiece: really a well-composed, edited, and scripted classic 80's comedy. In some ways this movie is THE model for such formulaic pieces, and includes a tight 80's electronic score. It's got some amazing lines, and John Candy nails every scene, while managing to tug at our heart strings and make us nostalgic for the good old days. Yes, it is set in a vaguely Canadian world full of big winter hats, crappy American cars, and general politeness. I love comedy and I love Candy's sublime delivery of many memorable lines in this movie. My favorite the meet the boyfriend scene where Candy mocks the boyfriend, "Have you ever heard of a ritual killing. Hee hee hee hee." Love it, partly as a Father.

But I would probably pass on the melanoma scene, which was forced.

"Have they met twiddledink?" "His name is Bug."

This is classic Culkin too, and is *before* Home Alone. Other performances are varied. Is Amy Madigan notable. Sure.

One last thing. The daughter is just doing Baby from Dirty Dancing (1987), right?

Whitney Cummings: Money Shot (2010 TV Special)

Not So Fresh, Kinda Stinky

[3/10 · 12 June 2020]

Shrill, predictable, and cute, Whitney Cummings: Money Shot bored me until I checked out about 2/3 of the way through. Stand-up can lose its freshness with time, and as this show is 10 years old, I'd say that's part of the problem. On the laugh meter, I think I chuckled once. Her observational comedy is supposed to elicit laughs by being frank about women's bodies, sex and relationships. I think the vampire dating part was perhaps the most original, even though in 2020 vampires are passe, thankfully. Yes, this is a review done way past release, but I have HBO's comedy channel on in the background while I do repetitive tasks, so I'll keep them coming. Calling her shrill isn't meant at all as sexist, she actually has a monotone of too loud.

Tomato Red: Blood Money (2017)

Blood, Pain, and The Horror!

[9/10 · 2 May 2017]

What a beautiful movie.

This movie made crass and smelly, trailer folk attractive, and ethical.

The editing and cinematography are impeccable. I loved the pacing, particularly the rhythm of the of the character development. The cinematography and sound are incredible.

Oh, and social relevance.

It reminds me of Winter's Bone in the context of its outlook. Lower class struggling Americans, oppressing by this shitty economic system that exploits everybody who can't afford no lawyer. But instead of smelling like cheap soap and cheap booze, they smell like the desert they live in. Freedom lovers everywhere are oppressed, right?

You're the Worst (2014–2019)

Aya Cash is the hottest woman on television, ever.

[9/10 · 13 November 2016]

If you are a writer for this show and would like someone to buy you lots of alcohol when you visit Hawaii next time please let me know. Just please don't ask me to buy drugs for you. Yes, I know you, you writers!

But seriously, I find the humor wacky, it tries to be poignant in the midst of the mad hijinx and shenanigans. This is one of those versions of Hollywood where no one seems to work all that much but the main characters, the white ones at least, live in apartments in the hills. But don't get me wrong, I'm glad someone is employing these actors, or at least some of them, because otherwise they might be over-acting in some stunt-man grindcore bullpucky.

Generally, there's a lot of sympathy for the characters...The dorky guy characters are well-drawn, and have some sensitivity for the real difficulties American men face, like total metaphoric castration by their awful female partners. Boundaries are well-drawn, no blurred lines here, it's a well-crafted universe, as the writer is the main character, of course, but is this world one with happy endings to the mundane drama of this handsome and titillating couple? We live, we die, we write rom- coms...

Thank god Will Arnett isn't in this show!

Cosmopolis (2012)

The Alpha Finds His Prey

[9/10 · 15 September 2016]

Yes, it's a crass film, pretty much about being stuck in a limo in Manhattan during political unrest - the Rat whatevers. It's a crass film because such a concept is simply voyeuristic. And it sounds smart but ridiculous, on my second watch it fell into place and not I am a bit more impressed with the fine script that made this possible. And, it's pretty zen, with his underlings coming to him to consult, and there's babble about unchartables, it's not chartable this, it's not chartable that. Which I took to mean, on the second watch, that it's about being part of the thing, rooting out the cause somewhat instinctively, like any artist/scientist. He identified the root cause, went there, lost track of the complex, which he had to do, and how dangerous really were those security people? He seemed to infiltrate them, plying people off with goodies. Only his wife gets him. And hates him, because she's old money and he is just a genius, son of a driver, probably. And, in the end, he finds his man, the master manipulator, and he is recognized. And they take pot shots of one another, and it's funny, but he has to keep them reacting! One final question - what would have happened if he would have stayed in the office? Don't play into those short squeezes, brothers!

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

George Carlin Smirks

[7/10 · 15 September 2016]

I just watched this movie with my 7-year old daughter and she liked it. The only weird part was with the step-mom. But she didn't get it, so that was just me.

It's a good-hearted goofy comedy with some inventive bits, and has some memorable lines. And lots of people seem to like young Keanu.

So there you go. If you haven't seen it, watch it.

This is one of the most ridiculous movies out there of it's kind. The humor is pretty over-the-top campy, and recognizes California suburban life having been made fun of for quite a while already, so nothing really new there.

This movie makes the 80s look quaint, in spite of the garish fashions. But what's more, this movie is probably one of the more accurate science fiction movies out there, with some reliable insights into time travel. And, when they go get Joan d'Arc or Socrates, or Genghis Khan, these characters don't speak English. I mean why would they? I mean, how many high production value science fiction movies have screwed issue this up? If you don't see the humor in that, you are too stiff for this movie. And I was serious too, far higher production value science fiction movies have been less substantial when it comes to the ideas department. And I really enjoyed George Carlin's performance, who seems to be having fun in this ridiculous movie, as he smirks his lines, if that's possible.

It's got pretty good pacing so I didn't get too bored, and the Napoleon at the water park bit is kind of classic.

I guess the phone booth time machine is a nod to Doctor Who.

Last comment, the image of them all stuck in the phone booth sideways, with Socrates screaming in the background, has stuck with me now since 1989. Good fun.

Café Society (2016)

Everybody loves Hollywood Glamour and New York Sin. Especially with Voice Overs and a Yellow Filter.

[3/10 · 14 September 2016]

Now, some cynics will say that Mr. Allen only made this movie because he has a thing for Ms. Steward, and while that is certainly true and shouldn't shock anybody, it doesn't really matter. Let's talk about the movie.

This is the kind of pretentious flick that sucks in less critical viewers, who probably haven't even heard of Neil Simon. It's so pretentious, and so adhering to the modern obsession with realism as well, that we are conned into thinking minor plot details matter. But no, certain characters do certain things that we expect them to, but in the end, who cares about this silly script? What's so interesting here that this thing ranks a 7? Well, it does hit all the pretentious buttons, and a review of the review demographics show us that, indeed, many young viewers may sat through this tripe for Ms. Stewart. Who, I will say, shows quite a bit of depth, for Kristen Stewart. American Ultra. The Squid and the Whale. But Stewart wasn't in the latter, just Mr. Eisenberg, playing the same character. Hold on here a minute. Jesse Eisenberg is only capable of playing Jesse Eisenberg! Who knew! And we criticize Steward for her lack of depth. So, why the stiff Mr. Eisenberg is in this flick I can't say. I mean, there is this reason and there is that reason, and both are possible. Anyway, Mr. Eisenberg may well be the more over-rated actor in Hollywood. His meter, which is, put broadly, the affectation of an aspergery kid, is jarring, especially against Mr. Allen's voice overs, which now have a rich tenor with a hint of Bronx. Or Brooklyn. I have no idea, I'm stuck on a tropical island. So, one last observation. Mr. Allen's voice overs were necessary to usher this sparse plot line along... why? can't he write a script? Hasn't he studied the works of Neil Simon? One more last question - what's the point? This may bring me back to the first sentence of this review. Or not. Perhaps this story just read better on paper.

Shameless (2011–2021)

WHM reveals his inner self

[5/10 · 26 August 2016]

Fave line: "Are you in a fight club?"

By now we viewers have seen plenty of dramas from which this show is derivative, especially Weeds and Six Feet Under. Probably others I am not aware of. But here we are, and I'm willing to bet that about half of the viewers that gave this show a chance tuned in for William H. Macy playing a tragically comedic artless bum. He's a force of nature, and what's most convincing about his character is it's creepiness. This show does, at times, evoke a sense of unease, which I think can be a good thing, if you want to break it down into good and bad and black and white. This show doesn't hide that it's pro-gay, and if that doesn't appeal to you then Fiona's breasts will titillate.

The theme of oppressed poor irish and black people in the chicago area seems pretty contrived at times. consider the convenience store - with pushovers in charge of all that food - it would be gone in an instant. so the reality of urbanism is a little fake, but at least this show tries, and when victoria drives into the suburbs - terrific that they actually included this shot - the suburbs feel staid and sterile.

I would take no real side in the realism debate, as the medium is an art form, after all. But this show slides between realism and total hyperbolic ridiculousness that I have to view some scenes as fantasy. I don't have a problem with that. But when the show purports to take on serious social issues as well, it leaves me questioning whether this is purely exploitative, and it leaves me with a bad taste.

Also contrived is this theme of child prodigies being ruined by being their own worst enemies. here is a working class fatalism that the writer was striving to convey.

Oh, and the wacky shenanigans of those gallaghers, it's shameless!

Yawn. We've seen this so many times before.

Pele: Birth of a Legend (2016)

Nearly Cinematic Perfection

[9/10 · 19 July 2016]

Consider - how interesting can a movie be about the success of a sporting legend? Obviously the material is begging for some musical montages, and it does not disappoint. I mean, we're talking a powerful cultural legacy here - football and Brazilian culture and music This movie serves up a full platter of sentimentality and showmanship, not to mention an army of condescending Swedes. Simply put, some of these scenes are majestic in their color and rhythm, and there is a palpable feeling that the creators of this felt passionately about the subject matter. The simple themes of transcendence, struggle, and family (topos?) often fade behind the theme of simple, graceful, perfect movement. How many movies about sports movies have succeeded with such a simple, yet grand, exposition of the sport itself?

I watched it in dubbed English I wonder what was lost in translation? I may watch it again in Portuguese. To be fair I'm an American who has recently been bitten by the soccer bug, so I have a profound appreciation for the elegance of the sport. I found that some scenes motivated this feeling as well, with a sense of sublime cinematic portrayals of the beautiful game.

Surely this movie is marketing for the Rio Olympics. It doesn't matter. This is a very beautiful movie, and I hope that many Americans watch it, as this younger generation has probably not even heard of Pele, let along seen him play (or is it dance?).

Land of the Lost (2009)

Land of the Comedic Sloth

[6/10 · 19 July 2016]

Will Ferrell shows his mettle as the Crown Prince of cinematic comedy, applying visual gags from every Hollywood comic come before him, from Buster Poindexter and Harold Loyd and Chaplin through to Eddie Murphy. As the average smarts smart man's Adam Sandler fan, he, with his sidekick - that guy from Eastbound and Down - even manage to slur Polish people. Lots of lines fall flat, including the gag about men liking show tunes. I mean, why?!? While not recapturing the innocent charm of the original series, which forms my earliest TV-viewing memories, the laugh count, the standard measure of any comedy production, stands at 3 halfway through. Not really a high figure on the face of it, it still is infinitely times more funny than any Adam Sandler movie ever made. Just to reinforce this a little bit for the slow readers - lots of funny shtuff. A six on the scale of 1 to 10 is actually a 10 on the comedy B movie scale, by the way. Survey question: Are you watching this on basic cable? If so, it is likely thanks to the fact that Land of the Lost lost lots of moo la upon original release.

Knight of Cups (2015)

Method Man ChristianBale Attempts an Art Movie

[5/10 · 14 July 2016]

I quickly understood this to be a criticism of Hollywood narcissism, and though it has less than a skeletal plot, it does have an arc. I was attracted not to just its crass sensuality, but its vein of naturalism. And I was starting to like it until Portman appeared, whose totally awkward sexuality was jarring. Perhaps it fit, because hers was a well done and edited bit that asked, "Who are we now?" Ah, tragedy and loss, such is life. And titty bars, apparently. What's a little voyeuristically (so?) fun is that it is not hard to believe that Mr. Bale has done all of these things as he pondered his own existence, pretty much just like in the flick. But when culture is empty and decadent and meaningless, and has become only reflections of some reality, as in a hall of mirrows, you are probably living in Los Angeles.

Nina (I) (2016)

Nina Delivers.

[8/10 · 13 May 2016]

Nina delivers, with some awesome music. Did it capture Nina's spirit accurately? I don't know, but this film inspired me, unlike most Hollywood tripe these days. It's a simple script about two people who revere each other in an almost supernatural way, sometimes parent/child, sometimes sibling.

This is a movie about spiritual struggle and expression of that struggle through music, and is not suitable for children. But it's honest, and whether or not it was true to Nina Simone's spirit, I don't know. But Zoe Saldana is, perhaps, her own elemental force, with a sense for rhythm that is genius and gentle and lots of good things. This movie has some stirring music that is never unpleasant to listen to, and, at times, is a bit sparse.

Is the movie true, at least, in it's message that our personal salvation is found in how we love one another? More directly, I thought that this movie directed our attention away from racism towards social taboos against relationships that are none of the above.

House of Lies (2012–2016)

Emotional Violence

[8/10 · 10 March 2016]

Kristin Bell.

And, lots of crass, clever dialogue and "inner monologues" that are quite realistic representations of emotionally violent relationships in this medium. Hollywood swings between ultra-violence and pandering humor and soft-core. It's refreshing to see, depictions of relationships that are more real than anything I've seen.

And if you don't relate, it's okay, go back and watch your baby stuff. Like empire. Or Arrow. Not everyone can be a consultant.

"I was squirting, Greg." Ahh, good stuff.

"Fecal fingers." It gets better...

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

YAWN (spoilers)

[3/10 · 31 December 2015]

There are many reasons to be disappointed with this pointless movie. But there are far fewer reasons to like it. I was most impressed with the expansive landscape shots of Jakku. And everybody loves the furball, as well as Carrie Fisher, who, it should be said, apparently overdosed on BoTox for the role. She somewhat resembled a mannequin in her own image, and then shows up on television to demand that we not discuss how she has aged (oh, the narcissism!).

It also deserves to be pointed out that as this film fairly accurately follows the plot track of the first movie, albeit with less finesse and suggestion of depth of thought. This is the most significant criticism of this mish-mash of beloved characters and contrived plot points: it will not stand the test of time. Is it fair to call it derivative, as Episode IV was essentially a western fairy-tale with Jedi warriors modeled on Samurai? Certainly.

But the pointless way this movie moves forward is simply odd: - When Ray ventures to the basement, called by...something?... - When planning the attack, "let's go!"... - Han Solo is killed, and we all know it is because Harrison Ford doesn't want to be in any more ridiculous films. - The denouement is a bearded Luke, standing silently. why? why can't he just die nobly like Obi Wan? This is such a pandering question mark leading into the next movie it is plainly ridiculous. - Why does everyone want to find Luke in the first place? - The idea of having two droids combine their maps to Skywalker is so contrived as to appear infantile. - Why use all these old characters anyway? Can't make a new movie with any substance?

So did Disney ask focus groups what characters, including the Millennium Falcon, they wanted in the new movie, and built a plot around them? Survey says...?!

Second to last comment: was there a single new science-"fictiony" idea in this movie? 50 points to anyone can identify one!

Last comment: Episode II was better.

Dean Slater: Resident Advisor (2013)

Unique B Movie

[31 August 2013]

Movies about the American college experience are silly, and this raises the bar. The reality of the American college environment is unreal, and so any comedy flick on the subject is by nature exploitative. Which reminds me to write that screenplay on my very real college experience that laid the groundwork for the next 20 years of my life.

The bottom line: this is an incredibly silly movie specific to California college life. It is not particularly awful and has some poignant and well thought out comedic moments. It has, as a major theme, the abuse of social media, which, given the sorry state of American culture these days - with people sharing a meal paying more attention to their cell phones than their company - is a real concern. This B-Grade flick makes the unpopular argument that the pervasiveness of social media is excessive, and that we we need to find a balance.

"Are you Amish?"

Blaze You Out (2013)

If you find this movie relevant, you might have a problem...

[3/10 · 10 August 2013]

I am reviewing this awful piece of trash while I watch it.

I am giving it a chance because the review demographics are curious - why do some women like this movie? A possible answer - that they find it reflective of their own lives - is terrifying. Please, if you live places like this, just leave. The symbolism might appeal to particular people, but am left wondering what a Pueblo person might think about this...personally I found the pseudo-spiritualism in here trite and cliché, speaking of which, Kilcher seems to have no problem co-opting members of other native cultures. And her fashion is simply ridiculous.

Don't waste your time with this.

n.b. I give myself credit for recognizing Espanola instantly, though I never found it as hostile as it is represented here.

Girl in Progress (2012)

A Sentimental Family Movie

[8/10 · 19 October 2012]

This is a well-scripted and sincerely acted family movie, devoid of profanity. I will leave it to other parents to decide whether it is effective, but in light of the trash that we are sold as cinema, here is a sweet movie that attempts to convey the difficulties that teenagers and parents face together - or apart.

I registered with IMDb.com just so that I could provide a positive review for this movie. As I watch many movies, I take notice of those that do not try to shock, but tell a simple story well. Although the story of the main character is certainly contrived, as it serves as a vehicle for her situation to have relatability, the premise is believable, as many parents can attest to the fact that children grow up all too fast in our "culture", and that children will make mistakes. It may also help children to recognize the trials that their parents face in daily life. So, this is a very decent movie for parents and teenage children to watch together, and may serve as a tool to increase common understanding in families.