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Reviews
The Artful Dodger (2023)
Easily forgettable after viewing.
An interesting story - but also easily forgotten after viewing (brain candy).
I liked the story of The Artful Dodger becoming a doctor in the Australian colonies and putting into practice new techniques in surgery (often with successful outcomes).
Dodger falls in love with the Governor's daughter and there's tension between the two to keep the story moving.
However, the stories that are penned have too many outs. It's easy not to be caught or at least have options to get away from the law.
The Govenor is shown as a buffoon, simply written in to fill a spot in the show (?), the daughter of the Govenor is a doctor in training who learns a lot from Dodger and the hospital Professor is a drunkard who also appears to be put in as a filler role. Gaines (?) is the only one who has been written in as the bad guy (but has fleeting moments in the series).
Overall, I'd say it's worth watching but it's easily forgettable.
The Art of Racing in the Rain (2019)
How many fake reviews can a movie get???
At the outset, I confess I have not watched this title but I felt the need to comment on the number of 10/10 reviews.
Two reviewers whom I respect gave it lackluster ratings and said it had more syrup than a stack of pancakes.
And yet, there were scores of people giving it 10/10 - it just goes to show that you can't trust the ratings of some of the movies listed here. Fakes are too easy to post and seemingly get away with.
And to balance my "review", I've given it a 5/10.
Dave Made a Maze (2017)
Worth a look - a very different type of movie
Firstly, it's technically a "labyrinth", not a maze...
Dave builds a labyrinth in his lounge room from cardboard boxes. His girlfriend comes home and finds a number of boxes put together to make what can best be described as a children's fort. However, it is in fact, a multi-dimensional creation.
When people enter the first box, they actually enter a larger than life creation (a bit like a TARDIS where the space is bigger on the inside than the outside).
The people who enter want to explore more, only to find that they are being tracked by the Minotaur and, dodging a series of booby traps inside the creation (which take out a few unlucky individuals), there is no blood when they die, just red streamers).
This is a very quirky movie and an absolute delight to watch.
Ignore the negative reviews and treat yourself to this indie movie and enjoy.
BrainDead (2016)
Really enjoying this show
I don't know a lot about the political structure of the U.S.A. so I can honestly say that I don't see this show as a Republicans vs. Democrats (or vice-versa) bashing.
There was someone who said it was all pro Democrats because you see Clinton; Sanders and Obama on TV. But there was also Donald Trump so I don't think there's any obvious bias there (or maybe there is - like I said, I don't know your political structure).
Anyway, what I am seeing is a very cleverly written script with some interesting concepts.
"Space-ants" come to Earth and inhabit the brains of people (both politicians and non-politicians). They change the way people interact and it looks like they are set to take over the Earth as the dominant species. Some of the people who are not infected are trying to work out a way to save the Earth from the hostile take-over.
At this stage, I'm only half-way through the first season and I can only hope that it either gets tied up with a very good conclusion or, goes on for a second season.
It's funny; clever; fresh and, I think it's worth watching.
She Who Must Burn (2015)
Very disconcerting
This was not an easy movie to watch, on a number of levels.
It is not an anti-Christian movie nor is it pro /anti abortion. It's a movie that is about the horrors that exist around us but yet remain unseen (or unresolved).
The movie seems to have been a low budget movie; there was nothing in the specs to indicate how much was spent making the movie and, the actors were all unknown to me.
The acting was a bit wooden. I'll put that down to the actors still learning how to play their given roles.
The story reminded me of my favourite all time movie "The Wicker Man". The hero and heroine of the story meet untimely deaths at the finalie of the movie. Watching the lead actress being burnt at the stake was not easy and, it was a lot more graphic than The Wicker Man.
I was frustrated with the town sheriff's lack of action when he confronted the zealots. He seemed to lack either the motivation or desire to stop the homicide proceeding. And, I was disappointed that the zealots all got killed by (at a guess) God's intervention.
Overall, it held my attention. It is definitely worth a watch but once is enough. If you can wait until it comes out on weekly DVD hire then all the better. I'd like to see more from the same scriptwriter if he gets more funding. I believe that he has the potential to do some good work.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)
OMG... what a waste of time and $60 million
I really enjoyed the first "Jack Reacher" movie (based on the Lee Child book).
But this pile of stinking trash doesn't even come close to the first movie. It was such a waste of everybody's time.
The acting was almost by the numbers; there was no tension or excitement. I didn't feel engaged with the actors nor their stories.
There was no indication on how the protagonist (the hired killer) managed to get to each location that "Reacher" was visiting.
The lines during the movie finale were delivered as if making an acceptance speech for a job that was not really wanted.
My recommendations are "do read the books (most of them are really good)" but "don't waste your time on this rubbish."
The Visit (2015)
Terrible
I have very mixed thoughts about movies made by N.M.S. I love "The Village" and think it is one of his best movies.
Now, onto his latest attempt... I read the reviews and saw that many people were giving this thumbs up (at the time, it was 7.5) and figured this would be worth going to the cinema to watch. How wrong I was.
75 minutes into the movie (it's 94 minutes in total) and nothing worth mentioning happens. The "twist in the story happens at the 76 minute mark but by then I was too numbed to think it was surprising (I actually had an inkling of the twist in the first 15 minutes).
I don't think it's the actors, it's the script that is lame and can't be saved by anything other than a complete rewrite.
This is far from the worst movie I have ever watched but it's certainly not worthy of being released in mainstream cinemas and asking people to buy tickets to watch.
If you want to watch this, wait for it to come out on weekly DVD rental.
Wrong Cops (2013)
Pathetic
Based on other reviews I expected better of this show. Sadly I was disappointed.
Poor acting, direction, dialog and script made a disaster of a movie
I am in awe of how this steaming pile could be made... Who fronted the money to make the movie ? I'd be after a refund because the outlay won't be recouped by cinema ticket sales and DVD may not even make up the cost.
I'm also amazed that the writer / director didn't ask to have Alan Smithee used on the credits to avoid future embarrassment.
Don't bother with this one, nothing to see here, move along.
Gravity (2013)
I really wanted to enjoy this movie...
I'd heard people raving about how good this movie was but last night, just before I went to watch it, a friend told me that it had been largely panned by the critics. However, in a backflip, someone (perhaps a critic or someone else with a lot of clout in the movie industry), gave it glowing accolades and essentially turned the reviews around from terrible to a must-see.
It seems that the possible turkey of a movie is now a "must see" based on the number of glowing reviews.
Anyway, onto the review... co-written; co-produced and directed by Alfonso Cuarón, this is visually, a lovely movie. The cinematography of the space scenes (ie. outside of the craft) were a feast for the eyes.
However, the storyline itself, left a lot to be desired. Bullock plays a "brilliant medical engineer" who is on her first space outing.
The first thing I found amazing /implausible was when she is ordered to return to the spacecraft due to incoming space debris, she refused to move until she had calibrated some equipment. A person who is in space for the first time would adhere to the orders of a senior crew member who has been in space many times before.
Next, the efforts to retrieve a dead colleague who was killed during the space storm meant that Bullock was almost out of oxygen by the time she reached the spaceship. Would you risk two other people dying (Clooney & Bullock), in order to rescue a dead body ??? I think not.
Next, during a close-up of Bullock in her space suit, she's got layers of mascara on her eyelashes. It could have been eased back a bit to make it more "plausible" - OK, maybe I'm nitpicking here, but it's my review.
During the fire inside the spaceship, Bullock doesn't raise a bead of sweat, despite being in an oxygen rich environment. She's just too cool all throughout her continuing ordeals.
When she lands on Earth, Bullock is stuck in a spacepod that is fast filling with water. She can't easily get out of the pod before it sinks... Wait a second... I thought pods were meant to float, so that the astronauts could get out when the boat /helicopter arrives. It made no sense that it sank.
While underwater, Bullock finds she is not able to swim because of her space suit being worn. Amazingly, she is able to just pull it off like a Velcro suit and swim to the surface and then onto the sea shore.
At that point, Bullock finds that she can't easily move because of "Gravity".
Roll credits.
I'm giving it a really low rating in order to balance out the implausibly high ratings.
Wait for it to be released on DVD - you won't be missing a lot in the meantime.
Escape from Tomorrow (2013)
David Lynch vs. Disneyland
I find it hard to understand what people found fascinating with this low budget and disorganised movie.
It is shot in black and white with a small number of key actors in the "movie". The nature of the movie reminded me of Eraserhead by Lynch. Obscure to the max.
The male lead takes his family to Disneyland for a break and in the opening few minutes, he is told that he has lost his job. He doesn't mention this to his overbearing wife and continues on to take his children into Disneyland for a "fun" holiday.
While in there, he finds hidden demons (?) within the rides and, some of the people who are at the park.
The male lead has a fascination with some young French girls (reminiscent of Lolita) and for some reason, he follows them around the park while trying to maintain an innocent pretext that he was not following them.
Towards the end of the film, one of the girls invites him to join her and her friend. He rejects the advance, whereupon she spits on his face.
The man develops a "cat flu" and coughs up fur-balls into the toilets, wherein he dies.
Disney "employees" attend to take the body away, and the son of the man is awarded what looked like a "Buzz Lightyear" badge.
The room is cleaned and another family arrive to visit the theme park...
Movie ends.
I can only say watch it if you are perhaps in an altered state of consciousness or, have absolutely nothing else to watch; including the test pattern on the TV.
The Crown and the Dragon (2013)
Absolutely awful
I got to see an early release of this movie with friends. It was God awful.
Aside from the two positives (1) the scenery was quite lovely and, 2) the musical score was enjoyable), that's it...
The acting was abysmal; the story lame; the fight scenes a joke; the directing awful.
I can only guess that the people who gave it high enough ratings to get it to a 5.8 were those who worked on the production. This is not even a "B" grade quality movie.
This is a movie that should never have been made - why people invest money to make such trash is absolutely beyond me.
This is a movie where you say "move along, nothing to see here..."
High School (2010)
Only for stoners
A painfully bad movie in which an MIT qualifying student and a college failure team up to create a winning team.
It's been done before in so many other movies and there's nothing new here worth talking about
The acting is less than average and the dialogue is atrocious.
All in all, another one to avoid at all costs.
It never ceases to amaze me that movies as bad as this get funded and use up resources that could be better used in movies that would be worth watching.
I need to add one more line of text to have this review count... This movie is garbage.
Blood Money (2012)
Woeful
When I first saw this movie advertised, I checked the reviews here and it had a great score so I figured it would be worth a look... How wrong I was to keep trusting this site. The movie is disjointed, poorly acted and directed and not worth the time or money to watch.
Admittedly, it's a low budget flick but that doesn't make up for how bad this really is.
It's a disjointed mess. If you're looking for a good action movie, with martial arts, go for Bruce Lee "Enter the Dragon". It will be a bit dated than this film but so much more enjoyable.
I think it's now time for me to start using www.rottentomatoes.com for my movie searches; it's not a back-end for amazon trying to sell garbage like this.
Likvidator (2011)
Disastrous
1) ignore the fact that Vinnie Jones gets a mention on the cover. It's just to try and entice people to hire /buy the movie. He's got little more than a cameo appearance.
2) was it just me, or did some of the English voices (dubbed over Russian speakers), sound the same ? the spoken lines were so stilted and painful to listen to, the movie could well have been on mute.
3) the storyline was woeful. it dragged on and while *some* of the fight scenes were OK, it was not on the same playing field as a James Bond, Jason Bourne or any movie with Jason Statham.
4) it's my considered opinion that most of the people who gave it a rating over 8 were part of the film crew. this movie is up there with "Bad Karma" (another shocker of a recent release).
do yourself a favour and just give this a 1/10 rating without bothering to watch - you will save your own time and money and, perhaps the time and money of someone who is considering watching this sh*t-fest of a movie.
Bad Karma (2012)
Not "Bad Karma", just a really "Bad Movie"
I got to see this yesterday with a friend. Because it had a 9.7 rating, I hoped (incorrectly as it turned out), that this may be a good movie.
It was little better than a pile of steaming horsesh*t.
Liotta plays a down & out criminal who is out of jail and can't keep himself off drugs and alcohol. Following an accident, en-route to helping Purcell rob some drug dealers, Liotta gets his life together and moves north from Sydney to the Gold Coast.
Fast forward 3-years. Here, he is living with the lady of his dreams. Purcell is now out of jail (only 3 years for an armed holdup of drug dealers, using an Uzi ??? sounds way too brief) and tracks down Liotta and starts to make his life a misery.
Purcell kills a couple of people in a shopping mart and blackmails Liotta to helping him with one last robbery.
The plot of this story is passable, the acting from both leads is atrocious, the music is woeful, the ending is just ludicrous.
Having said all that, I think that this movie most likely got its 9.7 rating by having friends and family of the director, producer and others to cast a good vote. The movie was finished a year ago and is only being released now - could that be because the crew wanted to distance themselves from this ultra-lame movie ?
This is one to hold off getting in the early days. Wait until it's on weekly rental at your DVD store.
Strike Back (2010)
Better than Spooks
It's been my belief for a long time, that if you want a good action movie which is not over the top, don't bother with the releases from the USA, go with the UK.
IMHO, this series is a fine example of good acting, plausible plots, amazing cinematography and gritty story lines.
For me, there's a lot of parallels between Spooks and Strike Back. Both deal with the U.K. secret service, both deal with international incidents which need to be dealt with quickly and efficiently and, both have moments of great tension.
However, where Spooks relied a bit too heavily on "James Bond" type gadgets from time to time, Strike Back seems to be a lot more grounded and focuses on the training of SAS soldiers.
I'm looking forward to more of this series with great anticipation.