mlbit Reviews

Give Me Your Eyes (2023)

Well made but ridiculous plot lines

[4/10 · 17 November 2023]

This is so annoying as production and suspence factors are literally 9/10 I won't give away to much ofnthe plot but it goes like rhus: young woman practically blind, decides she's going to live in an isolated building . One night whilst videochatting with her friend ,she suspects she has intruders so does she call the police? She makes her friend be her eyes via the phone, her friend incidentally who cannot leave her home. Her friend says we need to call the police, she refuses but insists her friend helps her leave her locked room and blindly goes around the house. Eventually her friend (via video chat) sees the intruder and tells her to go back to her locked room, all the time refusing to let her friend call the police . Blah blah blah... then to explain this stupidity it flits back to the girl as a kid and her father telling her not to trust the police. The story expands into vaguelly explaining hwe back story which is even more implausable .More potholes that tescos ham, designed for people who dont think too much but still worth watching just switch off your brain .Also has the girl from Life in pieces who, is amazing.

Finders Keepers (2014 TV Movie)

It's no Annabelle but still very good .

[9/10 · 26 March 2023]

I really don't understand the negative reviews on here because this film, compare to a lot of stuff nowadays is absolutely brilliant and it's got a host of big names for starters. Marina Sirtis from Star Trek and Jaime Presley from My name is Earl etc The story really revolves around a doll that originally possesses a boy who kills his parents. The boy is locked up and his house is empty for a few years until Presley buys it to live in with her daughter . The doll is found by Presley's young daughter and proceeds to take over / posses her. It seems to manage to kill a lot of people although I didn't think it was clear if it was the doll, an entity or the possessed girl doing the killing . Also no one seems to calm the police much. I can't say too much more because it will spoil the film for you, but as I say it's no Annabel but it is still well worth watching .

Life in Pieces (2015–2019)

First two season brilliant but rapidly declined into annoying and stupidlty

[2/10 · 14 February 2023]

I started off really loving the show. It had a strong cast of quite famous people, the stories were amusing and believable then, all of a sudden it plummeted into what I can describe as American style of stupidity & unbelievable plot lines. The characters personalities change from being intelligent into narcissistic & nasty and in many cases, just very creepy. Dr started off as a professional doctor and then turned into, I can only describe as a pantomime version of himself, his wife was very supportive & very intelligent morphed into some nagging nasty bullying hag. The worst people are the annoyingly stupid Greg and his wife Jen, she's the most unlikeable , selfish , bitchy person. Like most of the women in this show appears to view her partner as a annoying pet . From season three the scripts are terrible . It says a lot when you end up hating the cast because they're so narcissistic, stupid and just plain horrible.

White Chicks (2004)

The funniest film ever

[10/10 · 29 November 2022]

Honestly I laughed so much especially at the toilet scene. His facial expressions are pure genius . Story is great and the makeup is just amazing . It's a nice story, funny and fast paced story, something we've lost in the politically correct rubbish that thd spew out nowadays.

Basically, and this is a spoiler the story goes is there to spoil brat sisters or friends I'm not sure I'm assuming it's based on Paris Hilton and these two girls are under threat of being kidnapped. Two cops who haven't exactly got a good track record and are about to be fired decide that they're gonna go undercover and pretend to be these two girls. They do this by getting some amazing prosthetics and the fun starts they pretend to be the two girls and then be friends, their friends it's him so it goes from there. I don't really wanna say too much because I don't wanna spoil it but it is hilarious and this hilarity is made down to the two guys that play the girls they are pure geniuses.

Fear the Walking Dead: Dead in the Water (2022)

A surprisingly good start

[8/10 · 15 April 2022]

I was suprised that this was so good. Being a fan of the original walking dead I was absolutely appalled at the way it slowly slithered into Wokness after Rick left and basically turning into some sort of mothers meeting. Even my heroines Micheonne and Carole seemed to turn into a meek version of themselves more concerned with feelings than fighting the baddies. The spin-offs that followed were unwatchable, full of preachy woke rubbish and no real story. Men and Women with perfect makeup and hair worrying about trivialities does not a good Zombie series make. . Then we get this, and what a fantastic surprise, Fear the walking dead: Dead in the sea is very different to the other pale spin-offs . Good suspenseful story, reasonably likeable characters that you root for (unlike previous spinoff where your hoping the cast get eaten and quickly) no preachy woke messages and all on a submarine . I feel that it has a limited life in its present form as there's only so much they can do in a submarine but hopefully this will expand as the series progresses.

Black Summer (2019–2021)

Very poor in every aspect

[1/10 · 12 September 2020]

Apart from Netflix being unable to maje each episode the same length most are very short like 19 minutes the final bein 44 minutes. The whole series is filed with rediculous poorly made stunts. Kids playing lots of the flies and failing . Cast members speaking in foreign languages for long periods with no subtitles . The last episode is so poorly directed that you actually see Zombies walking normally as they clearly don't think they're in shot.

The Drone (2019)

The acting and script are just terrible

[3/10 · 23 October 2019]

The script and performance of mist of the actors are wooden and amateurish. The whole idea of a sentient drone just sucks beyond belief. Odd that the sets /props and the cinemagraphic quality are quite professional.

Tales of the City (2019– )

Highlights the weakness and shallowness of a new generation compared to the brave older generation.

[8/10 · 22 October 2019]

The older original characters are excellent but much of the younger characters play the whinging miserable victims, whereas in the 90s they were a lot stronger. I got bored with the continual weak gay stereotypes which again were much stronger in 90s version. Far too much emphasis on GAY which i found tedious being gay myself, no one spends hours discussing being gay. However half way through there is a game changer when a smug politically correct 28 year-old tried to feel a bunch of older gay men calling someone a trannie is wrong. He is ripped apart by one older man who gave one of the best speaches ive heard in years. All in all I it's brilliant once you get past the first few episodes. Some of the new characters are not easy to like, but there are a few that grow on you. I love the way it highlights how weak and pathetic the many of the younger generations are compared to previous generations .Netflix attempt at continuing a masterpiece is enjoyable, and I would say will become as much of a cult as the original series. I hope they make more 😁

Shed of the Dead (2019)

Amusing in an earthy down to earth honest way

[8/10 · 30 June 2019]

If your looking for a shallow plastic yanky style zombie flick then dont bother. Its earthy, its honest & funny . Lauren Socha (Lauren from Misfits) shines throughout the whole film, her "alright mate" style of humour makes the whole thing work.

#Followme (2019)

Terrible acting and story

[1/10 · 16 June 2019]

The worst thibg about this film is The three main women. They have this horrible sickly whiney voices .From the beginning of this so calked found footage crapfest I was praying for then to be dispatched quickly. Its worse (if this us possible) than an episode of the only way is Essex but even more irritating. I'm ashamed to be British when i see rubbish like this.

Game Night (I) (2018)

Terrible farce. Stupidity rules.

[3/10 · 27 September 2018]

Basically it's all about a game that's organised by a rich brother to out do his less successful younger brother. However the game turns into reality when he is really kidnapped. Unfortunately the other players are so stupid they can't tell that the two men beating him and smashing the place up aren't part of the game. This is a film that will annoy anyone with half a brain. It's not slapstick it's not funny it's just annoying.

Zombies Have Fallen (2017)

Very amateurish

[1/10 · 10 August 2018]

Very low budget, but surprisingly good camera work and effects, however painful to watch and listen to the horribly and in many instances ridiculously written dialogue , "shes my property" in a sinister northern drawl, if it wasn't so sad you would burst out laughing.

Dredd (2012)

Terrible film - simply a collection of slow motion special effects

[2/10 · 2 March 2014]

I cannot believe the reviews praising this joke of a film. I'm certain they didn't watch the same film i did. . This film was merely a collection of slow motion special effects with some torture and gore thrown in to please the stupid. There was no real plot or story at all. The acting was, well at some points laughable. Watching this was more like participating in a very poor computer game where the objective is that you have to pass certain obstacles to get to the next level. All in all i would recommend watching the 1995 version of Judge Dredd, with Stallone and Bullock it maybe cheesy but you'll enjoy it whole lot more, and at least it has a decent story.

Vendetta (I) (2013)

Guesome but conveys a very true message

[6/10 · 22 January 2014]

I would ignore the Danny Dyer bashers that slate every film on here. Vendetta is really a good film. Highlights police stupidity on arresting the heroes while letting the evil criminals go, in turn allowing them to commit even more evil acts. (sounds like real life) Revolves around a man (Dyer) who carries out a vendetta on the the evil gang members that killed his parents. The police are useless (except for one) so it's left to him to get justice and he does, in some really quite inventive and gruesome ways. I warn you this is not for the faint hearted and even i had to look away a couple of times. However the characters are well played and although Dyers character is breaking the law you cant help but be behind him 100% of the way. I was quite shocked at how satisfied i was as he dispatched each evil vile gang member !! Well worth watching (but maybe not with the kiddies) So ignore the Brit film /Danny Dyer bashers, I'm glad I did..

Airborne (II) (2013)

This film sucks harder than an Dysan hoover

[7 February 2013]

This isn't very good at all. Its wooden, the men sound like they're mainly extras from Eastenders or are so spineless & pathetic they would say boo to a goose apart from one stupid foulmouthed granddad whose portrayal of a hard nut leads a lot to be desired. From the crew to the SIS this film sucks harder than a Dysan hoover. Basically on a plane, people start disappearing; bodies found in the hold, mouthy passengers get on your nerves. Three quarters of the way through the film you're praying the dam plane crashes and kills the lot of them. A couple of punch ups, usual idiot with a gun (oh yes they let him on a plane with a gun in his luggage) thats the level of realism in this terrible film. It even has the shouty shouty stupid paranoid American, just for good measure

Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)

A great, fun, unglitzy, thoroughly British Zombie, made how films should be made

[8/10 · 23 October 2012]

I loved this film tremendously. Shaun of the dead it isn't, but it's made with humour and feeling. There are no unrealistic pretty boys and girls and long boring emotional bits, thank god. It's old & young united in slaying the zombies that take over the East end of London, and enjoying every minute of it. I think i would call this film "down to earth" and unpretentious as you warm to most of the characters almost immediately. I find most stuff i see i cannot relate to , it's too perfect, but this was great. Honor Blackman is swearing like a trouper and shooting her oozy 9 millimetre all over the place was fun, . The robbing of the bank to save the granddads care home is a nice touch and i guarantee you won't get bored. There blood and guts all over the place. And to my delight the really annoying bank clerk gets his just deserts, we all know the type and this was great to see. All in all it had its silly bits but i loved it. I sincerely hope they make more films like this, warts and all and less of the perfect picture perfect setting drivel.