Change Your Image
avsroxbronxfan
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againAnd this is when he actually said it in the video.
Reviews
Draft Day (2014)
A MAJOR slap in the face to football fans anywhere.
I am a major Denver Broncos fan, and when I went to see this film, I was with plenty of other Broncos fans in the theater. I don't know what they thought of it, but I strongly feel this is a slap in the face to football fans anywhere. All that happens in the film is the Cleveland Browns GM Sonny Weaver (Kevin Costner) felt under pressure to make a splash in the draft, so he trades 3 first round picks for the 1st overall pick to draft Wisconsin QB Bo Callahan. My problem with this part so far is that GM's are supposed to do what's best for the team; they're team first executives. But here's the film's biggest problem. Between the time the NFL draft starts and when Sonny made that trade with Seattle, and that is quite a lot of the film's running time I will add, he does more research on Bo. He even says in the film "We're still gonna have to take another look at this kid and everything there is to know about him before I can feel good about what we just risked." So he traded 3 first round picks to draft a player he doesn't know much about, and after doing more research on him he decides not to take him. NO YOU STUPID WRITERS!!!!! GM'S SHOULD ALREADY KNOW TO DO MUCH RESEARCH ON PLAYERS BEFORE TAKING THEM IN THE DRAFT, LET ALONE TRADING UP FOR THEM!! Draft Day is a badly paced coming of age story which doesn't work for my stated reason. Sure, there's a subplot about a pregnant girlfriend and his dead dad, but those subplots go absolutely nowhere. You could edit them out of the film completely and it wouldn't change a thing. We also have the draft where Sonny cons other stupid GM's, and even gets his draft picks he traded to Seattle back. How did he do that? He got the 6th pick in the draft while Seattle had 7, Bo Callahan was still there, and Seattle traded 3 firsts to move up ONE SPOT. MORONS!!! THIS FILM IS SO UNREALISTIC. There's also another element that annoys me. They have made-up players as well. The Cleveland Browns starting QB in real life as of October 2014 is Brian Hoyer. In this film, it's Brian Drew. All the players in the draft are made-up as well. Even Arian Foster, an ACTUAL NFL player, is playing a fictional character known as Ray Jennings, and the Browns draft him. (Yes, they end up putting Arian Foster on the Cleveland Browns. BITE ME!!) If this happened 40 years later in 2054 or something like that, I could excuse that. But the film's biggest error in this step is their continuity and lack of football knowledge. They have a scene where they blatantly mention Peyton Manning. They then talk about the Denver Broncos and say we have a made-up player at QB named Harrett. Contradictory much? Why not have New England or Green Bay with Harrett? Neither Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers were mentioned in the film, so by their logic, they can not exist. They mentioned Peyton, then acted like he doesn't exist. This film is pathetic, stupid, and really didn't need to be made. This isn't just one of the worst movies of 2014, nor is it just one of the worst sports movies ever made, it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen PERIOD. Skip this trash and watch Moneyball.
Frozen (2013)
Disney has made another excellent movie to add to their new renaissance
After Disney had their successful early 90's run with The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and the Lion King, things really dropped off for them. For me, the only great movies the company made from 1995-2010 were Mulan and Lilo and Stitch. They still had a decent amount that I still liked, but you could tell they were off their game a bit. I mentioned 2010 because then they got their groove back and, in my opinion, never got out of it. Tangled was great, I didn't think much of Winnie the Pooh, but it's alright, Wreck-It Ralph is now one of my all time favorite movies, and now we have Frozen. This movie continues the great trend Disney has right now. In fact, I think this renaissance is actually stronger than the previous one. Aladdin is my favorite Disney film, and Beauty and the Beast ranks third, but, to me, Mermaid was just decent, and Lion King, while still pretty good, I feel is kinda overrated. I actually like Tangled, WIR, and Frozen more than either of those two.
Okay, enough with Disney history, let's talk about this movie. I feel the movie didn't really get off to a strong start, while it wasn't bad or anything, but things got really interesting after Aunna met Hans. They immediately fell in love and were going to wed. I'll talk about the rest of the story in just a moment though, the twist they do with this is VERY clever. During the movie, she meets a guy named Christoff, and he tells her "You don't just meet a guy and marry him immediately." I really laughed at that since this company made some films where the male and females immediately fall in love. I really like how they're poking fun at that. I did not see that coming at all. Speaking of Hans, he turns out to actually try marrying her just to be a king, and he also mentions the fact that people don't just fall in love like that. Again, didn't see that coming.
I also like how Elsa didn't turn out to be a villain or anything. She doesn't want to hurt anyone, and that's why she didn't talk to Aunna much growing up. She left the kingdom because she accidentally let out her powers and they accuse her of sorcery. Her emotions put the kingdom in eternal winter, not her intentionally. She also doesn't know how to change it or anything. She finds that out later in the film though.
It was also a lot funnier than I thought it would be. To add to that, I felt Olaf would be just a typical Disney sidekick who might be kinda annoying. I was wrong. Olaf is hilarious. Almost every scene he has makes me laugh. This song wasn't built up too well, but he actually has a song about how summer would be to him. That's right, a snowman dreams of summer and heat. That idea was just too funny. And it's not just him obviously. Like Wreck-It Ralph, this movie is all around funny, not just one guy has funny moments, like in some other Disney films.
I felt the songs could've been stronger though, and some of them aren't built up well. To me, they're kinda rushed. I do like the song Elsa sings after she goes to be alone though. That was great. The other ones aren't bad, but they're no Circle of Life or anything. Although they do have quite a few smaller singing scenes. What I mean is that they would sing for like a minute or so and stop. I also would've liked Hans to be defeated in a better way. He had such a great plot and suspense, and yet all that happens is that his sword breaks as he tries to kill Elsa, then when summer returns, Anna punches him into the water, then he goes to jail. Is that it? He was such a great villain! That's like if Gaston at the end of Beauty and the Beast decided "You know what, Belle's crazy. I'll just leave her alone." This film almost got a 10/10 from me, but it's few issues prevent that. However, I think everything else is fantastic and very well done. This is easily one of the best films of the year, and I will recommend it.
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)
Big fan of seasons 1-3. 4 was mixed, rest are garbage
I give this show a 5 because it really is a mixed bag for me. The seasons 1-3 deserve a perfect 10/10 rating, season 4 is mixed so it gets a 5. Seasons after that get a 0.
I have seen every single episode of the first 3 seasons, and I love most of them. There's only like 1 or 2 episodes I think are crap, but other than that, it was just an awesome show. I'm 21 and I still love to watch them. There were so many great ones, like 'No Weenies Allowed.' The show had great humor and it is one of my inspirations.
However, after that great era, they had season 4, which I liked some of their episodes, like 'Fear of a Krabby Patty' and hated their others, such as 'Karate Island' and 'All That Glitters'.
Then came along the horrendous seasons 5 through... well now. Here's the premise of one of their episodes, and you can probably tell about the quality of these seasons. Mr. Krabs dresses up as Pearl to go around scaring Plankton since he's afraid of whales and Plankton eventually tries to kill himself. No, that is not a typo. (This is in the episode 'One Coarse Meal' btw) Everyone hates these newer episodes, and I am definitely on that same boat. Spongebob was a fantastic show once, and now it's complete garbage.
Despicable Me 2 (2013)
One of the funniest movies I've ever seen
***NOTE*** I only check-marked this because I say one joke from the movie. Other than that, this review is spoiler-free.
When I saw the first Despicable Me movie, I liked it a lot, but I was expecting a really funny movie with serious moments in there. I personally believe the first one is a film that has a first priority to make you care rather than just go for laughs the whole time. It does that, and has a few funny moments. I felt that the sequel would be similar in that aspect, but I was wrong about that. This film is loaded with funny moments. You saw some of it in the trailer, but I still expected the movie to be like the first. I'm glad I was wrong though, because the more funny moments in this film really gives us something new and unique about it. This was the big comedy I was expecting with the first film. There are so many humorous moments in this, you'd lose track easily. I think the joke that made me laugh the most was at the beginning of the film when Agnes is having a medieval-themed birthday party. The minions are playing along and one of them keeps hitting the wrong thing, and all the other minions just attack him. That was just awesome. Speaking of them, I love how creative they've become. There's so many great jokes with them, it's hard not to enjoy them.
As for the characters, all your favorites from the first are back, plus they introduce a few new ones, like Lucy, and the villain. I'm not going to say who the villain is, or what he does, but I will say that his build-up in the movie is really clever. He kidnaps most of the minions, but you don't see his face, or even any of his body. It's not revealed who the villain is until around the end of the movie. I think that's really clever, but I don't think the villain is very threatening, or even funny.
I'm also not a fan of Lucy. She always seems to be in a laid-back mood. There's one scene where she's strapped to a rocket, and she's not even acting like she's freaking out. Why is she happy about everything? I can understand that they're trying to make her a fun character, but I think she was overdone.
Another thing I like about this movie, however, is that when I was watching the trailers for it, I felt this may just be Gru trying to stop a bad guy. For the most part, it is, but there's another story going on (I know I check-marked spoilers, but I'm not saying it) that is balanced very well into this movie. It's more than just Gru trying to save the world.
I personally liked this movie better than the first one, although that one was good too. I may even put this as one of my favorite comedies. Go see it when you have the chance.
Monsters University (2013)
Even better than Monsters, Inc
When I first heard about this movie, I really thought it would be an interesting idea to see how Mike and Sulley's lives were before the events of Monsters, Inc. Although I didn't expect anything great from this movie. I'd give the first film a 7/10. It was good, but I don't see it as great. I started seeing trailers for the movie, and it really got me interested then, and gave me a lot of questions going into this film. At the beginning of Inc, Mike is coaching Sulley up. During this film, he's going to college to become a scarer. How would this be developed and transition from him trying to scare kids to become Sulley's coach? I was also interested in seeing how Randall Boggs went from a friend of Mike's to one of the first film's villains. I came out of the film, and my questions were completely answered. In my opinion, this movie not only transitions into Monsters, Inc in a great way, but I feel that this movie was even better than the first film. This really exceed my expectations.
You probably know the plot of the movie, so I'll go into why I think this film works, and how my questions were answered. Mike and Sulley are kicked out of a scare class because they didn't do very good on the final, and are forced to join a group of "losers" in the Scare Games in order to get back into the program. They end up winning, but Sulley cheats on the final task to help Mike out. Mike isn't happy about this, so he ends up sneaking into a door to the human world to try and scare a kid. The kid isn't afraid of him, as she thinks he actually looks cute. He later realizes that he's just not scary, and nearly gives up on his dream to work at Monsters, Inc. But Sulley tells him that he may not be scary, but he sure is fearless and really knows good strategies to scare kids. In a way, his dream comes true, but obviously not what he originally had in mind. This is a great way to transition into Monsters, Inc coach if you ask me.
Randall was another thing that was on my mind. Would something bad happen to him or something to make him a future villainous character? Here's what happens. Randall becomes Mike's roommate, but one of the teams in the Scare Games really likes him, and Randall thinks of them as "the cool kids." He had been trying to get into a group like that for years, and now he's got his chance. The group is a bunch of jerks, and that really changes Randall's character. Plus, at the end of the final round, he says "This is the last time I'll lose to you, Sullivan." He actually wasn't a good guy for very long in the movie, and I like that. I didn't expect that, honestly.
There are plenty of funny moments in this as well. I would say that this is probably Pixar at their funniest. One good example of it would be this one scene where Mike and the gang go to Monsters, Inc to see the variety of monsters. Before they leave, Squishy's mom says "Have fun, kids. I'll just be here listening to my tunes." She rolls up the window, and we hear very loud heavy metal music. I think that was probably the best joke in the movie, but there are plenty of other great ones too. There's also this other joke during the tour when they go into the cafeteria. "The MU cafeteria has some of the best chefs in the world." They think dump a thing of garbage onto the serving area. (Note: Both of these jokes are in trailers.) I really enjoyed watching this movie, and I look forward to seeing it again.
Man of Steel (2013)
Movie with great potential ends up being a disappointment
Before I saw this film, I was pumped up. Even though I was never a Superman fan, this looked like a very interesting film, plus I am a fan of Christopher Nolan, one of the producers of this. I felt that if he was able to save the Batman franchise after Batman and Robin, he'd be able to help save Superman. The trailers were also very interesting. So it's finally the big day, I sit in my seat, and here's what I think: This movie had great potential with fun to watch action, but still ended up as a disappointment in my eyes. The story was about Clark and his struggles to adapt to a new planet. It shows his struggles in school and his unknown powers. Problem is that his childhood is told in flashback. You see him trying to work with jobs as an adult for about half of the movie and while at that, we get an occasional flashback of him as a child. I think they should've used that at first and morely show his struggles growing up. The story is told in a really bad manner.
This is an origin movie, so you would think they would've built up the character more, but nope. All that happens is that Clark talks to his Krypton dad, and they already had a suit built up for him. It's like they knew he was gonna be a superhero.
I've seen other reviews which say "It's too serious" or "It's too dark." I actually like how they took that angle. I don't see anything wrong with a serious superhero movie. The Dark Knight was very serious, and people (myself included) really praised that movie. My problem with Man of Steel is the story telling and lack of origin in a film where that's the main focus.
I liked the second half better than the first half, but the second doesn't save the movie for me. I really wanted to like this movie, but it's disappointing.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Born Again Krabs/I Had an Accident (2003)
I had an accident review
Before you see the rest of this review, let me just say that I will ONLY be reviewing the episode "I Had An Accident." The reason being is that this is actually my all-time favorite Spongebob episode. This was one of my favorite TV shows growing up, and I have seen every single episode from Season 1-3 and a decent part of Season 4. The series turned to crap after that season, and I don't watch the newer episodes. Out of all the Spongebob episodes, I Had An Accident is my all-time favorite episode.
The episode is about Spongebob severely damaging his butt in a sand boarding accident, and the doctor tells him that if he gets another injury like that, he will end up getting a huge mechanical butt. He sees the dangers of the outdoors and decides to never go outside again. So it's up to Sandy, Patrick, and many other funny things to try and convince him to go outside again. This episode really works because it captures the witty humor and spirit of what made Spongebob such a great show. You watch this episode, and you will see exactly the type of humor this show has. Not only does it do that, but it's the funniest episode as well. I especially love the ending when Spongebob asks how a gorilla can live underwater in the first place and he rides off on a giraffe. We then see a family of four looking at the TV with a look that says "What the hell am I watching?" That is gold. That is one of the many great jokes this episode has.
Not only that, but the randomness in this actually works really well. There's actually a gorilla who goes underwater and attacks Sandy, Patrick, and Spongebob. That's pretty unexpected, but funny as hell.
This is the best episode I have ever seen out of Spongebob, and that's saying something because I have seen many great episodes. I even did a top 12 list video. Click here to watch: http://blip.TV/ thatunfunnyguy/media-manslaughter-top -12-spongebob-squarepants -episodes-6282928
Iron Man Three (2013)
Marvel's best Iron Man movie
This was a great movie, and I actually think it's the best Iron Man movie. I wasn't big on the beginning of the movie, but I think it gets deep and really interesting when he's flown to Tennessee. His house was bombed and all his Iron Man suits (except for a protocol) were destroyed. The one he wears when he's flown was injured in the battle. For most of the movie, he's actually not fighting as Iron Man. He's fighting as Tony Stark. He grabs a gun, and actually has good combat skills too. He manages to fight off the Mandrin's henchmen very well, even without the suit. This was a very risky move, but it works out very well if you ask me. He shows that he's not some weakling and if you take away his armor and weapons, he would be an easy target. He shows that he's a tough guy underneath as well. I'm glad they took that route. Before this movie came out, Robert Downey Jr. said "Iron Man 3 won't be a serious movie." I see why he said that. There's a lot of funny moments in this film, even though this isn't labeled as a comedy.
One problem I had with Iron Man 2 was that there wasn't much of a story to it, or that much action. I see that one as build-up to The Avengers. This one, however, was completely different. Nick Fury actually isn't in this movie. They mention the parts of The Avengers like two or three times, but that's not the focus of this movie, and that's a great thing.
So far, this is my favorite film of 2013, and you guys should definitely see it. I'm very glad I saw it, and I will see it again.
The Sandlot (1993)
Really glad I saw it
I wasn't sure if I ever saw this film before recently, and luckily, my friend invited me over to see it, and I was not disappointed. This film has a lot of things I like to see: Comedy, smart characters, unpredictable things happening, and a great story. I'll get to these aspects of it later though.
The story is about some kids who love to hang out, and do many activities, but playing baseball together is their favorite thing to do. They eventually run out of baseballs to use when playing outside once, until one of the kids, played by Tom Guiry, borrows his dad's autographed ball (Babe Ruth signed it) and he ends up hitting it over his neighbor's fence, where they think a huge beast lives, but turns out that it's a dog with quite an appetite. So the kids need to find a way to get the ball back before the dad notices it's gone.
What I love most about this film is how unpredictable it is. For example, when the kids are trying to get the ball back, they use a catapult. They try to fling the ball back, and the clip suddenly slows down. I thought the ball wouldn't get over the fence and would be just short. I was wrong. The dog actually jumps really high in the air, and he looks like he swallowed the ball. That was very unexpected and hilarious. I like to see things like that. There's also this one part where one of the kids is able to jump over the fence and get the ball, outrun the dog, and jump over. You think he outsmarted the dog, right? Wrong. The dog then jumps over the fence and starts chasing him. How one can predict this, I have no idea.
The energy in this movie is outstanding. Not just from the good acting by the kids, but from the comedy as well. There's this scene when one of the kids pretends to drown so he can make out with the very attractive lifeguard. I knew that was going to happen, but I still laughed hard at it because the energy and timing of that joke.
I'll knock the film slightly for two things, and one is that there isn't a lot to the story. Basically, the first half of it is just the kids playing baseball and hanging out, and the second half is them trying to get the ball back. That's all there is to it, but for what we got, I still enjoy it, and this is more of a nitpick. My second problem is that if the kids didn't have enough money to buy baseballs, where did they get all that equipment, like the vacuum or catapult, from? I do see that part of it is child made, like one of them seeing through a box of Wheaties, but it's still impressive technology, and I have no idea where they got it from.
For what we got, I really enjoyed The Sandlot, and I am really glad I saw it. I consider it one of my favorite comedies now, and that is quite an accomplishment, since I can be quite picky with films like that. I'd say to go see it, but since it got a sequel, and I guess a third one, I'd assume you already did see it.
Hercules (1997)
Could've been one of Disney's best, but ends up problematic
I am a person who really enjoys Disney films, despite my age. (I'm 20.) Some people say that Hercules was the film that killed people's interest in animated Disney films after Pocahontas and The Hunchback of Notre Dame came out. I personally believe that it was a decent film. However, I think it could've turned out to be one of their best movies. It had the story to do it, and it also had a very funny, plus popular villain in Hades. It just turned out to be very problematic.
First off, I think the way the story is told is very odd. You have 5 women, who are known as "The Muses". They basically tell the beginning of the film in song, introduce us to Hades, and you see them appear during the movie. You see them have a song when Hercules is becoming popular, when Hercules' love interest, Meg, is trying to decide whether she's in love or not, and at the end of the film after Hercules stopped Hades. They act very surprised each time they appear. "Oh my god, Hercules is becoming popular! Oh wow, he stopped Hades!" I think if the Muses weren't telling the story, and it was told without continuing narration, this film would be considered a classic.
I also have a problem with the transitions. At one point, the film is trying to be a comedy, and the other, it's dramatic. You can put them into a film, but you need it to transition well. It does not in this film. I think they were trying to be like Aladdin, but the transitions between comedy and drama worked in that film. It does not here.
This film is also like ancient Greece meets modern day Las Vegas. I mainly say that in the "Zero to Hero" song. You see all those flashing lights and lighting changes, and you see some modern-like products placed like "Herculade" and "Air-Herc". If I'm watching something that took place a very long time ago, I don't wanna see something similar to Gatorade. Sure, Aladdin had that too in the "Friend Like Me" song, but it makes sense because he has a magic genie. Here, it doesn't.
But the reason I think it's decent is because, like I said, it does have a great story to tell. It's just told very weirdly. I also like the comedy in it. The scene where Pain and Panic are getting a lot of Hercules merchandise is really funny.
Overall, this could've been a movie good enough to be considered one of Disney's best. It just had too many problems.
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Why do others think this movie is funny?
I finally saw this for the first time, and before I watched it, I thought this would end up as one of my favorite comedies. I watched it, and I almost turned it off. I was expecting to laugh a whole lot at this movie, and I only laughed hard once. It had a few decent jokes, but I expected a lot of great ones. I only got one great joke. It was during the part after Borat bought a bear for his protection, and he was driving an ice cream cart. Many children run after the car, and the bear was right there to growl at them. That was really funny. Almost everything else was very bad.
My other issue is that they make Borat an idiot in the movie. He thinks Jewish people would kill him, he tries kidnapping Pamela Anderson, and he and his friend go running through a hotel naked. We get a whole scene with them naked and fighting. It's completely unfunny and disturbing, but I'm just getting sidetracked. Borat reminds me a lot of Buddy from the movie 'Elf'. However, with Buddy, he thinks he's an elf, and was raised in a different environment. It makes sense for him not to know. But with Borat, he is from an Asian country, so why is he unaware of what people do? Just because he's foreign is no excuse. I would forgive it if it was funny, but it is not.
This is not only unfunny, but very disturbing at the same time. 2/10.
The Little Mermaid (1989)
Not bad, but overrated
People say that The Little Mermaid was a classic, and a great way to start off the Disney Renaissance. While I think that it had a good setup, has many good things in it, and it could've ended up as one of my favorites, I say that this film has 2 flaws, and they're huge ones.
First problem is our main character, Ariel. She's just a bratty teenage girl who does the teenage clichés. She has a big motive, but disobeys her father and makes a deal with the sea witch, Ursula, to get what she wants. And in the end, she doesn't learn anything and still gets what she wants. If your main character is not likable, that's not a good sign.
My second problem is the morals. Like I said before, Ariel doesn't learn anything, but her father does. King Triton, at first, is an overprotective father who has the "My way or the highway" type of personality, but changes as the film goes along. At the end of the movie, he gives Ariel exactly what she wants. He learns to let his daughter go and not be so overprotective. Kind of a botched message, but I'm over analyzing here. I think this would work great if Triton was the main character, not Ariel. It's the main character that's supposed to learn in a movie, not someone else.
These are huge flaws indeed, but it doesn't make The Little Mermaid a bad film. There's tons of things to like, such as the songs, the animation, Ursula, some of the comedy, etc. Those flaws, for me, stop the film from being good. But the things to like in this movie stops it from being bad, in my opinion. 6/10.
The Dark Knight (2008)
My all-time favorite movie.
I have seen many great movies, but none succeed this masterpiece. This was a very well put together film by Christopher Nolan, and is very deserving of every Oscar and other awards it has won. I loved every single minute of it.
I would say it's the best written Batman film out of all 3 of Nolan's films. Batman Begins was the origin of how Bruce Wayne became Batman, and while that movie was very well detailed, I would say it's still pretty easy to make half of a movie dedicated to how Bruce becomes the Dark Knight. As for TDKR, it's his end. While those films are both done very well, this one has neither his beginnings nor his end. The writers had to write an entire movie based on his middle adventures, and they could not have done better.
The best part of it (other than the action and incredible soundtrack) was Heath Ledger as the Joker. I know, everyone loves this guy, but he was the best part of the movie. He was a very serious character, which is a different take on the Joker, but it's done very well. He is funny when needed to be, though. He's such a believable villain, and I could not enjoy his performance more.
I may be a huge Batman fan, but this was an overall amazing movie. The things with Batman are fantastic, and the things that don't involve him are brilliant. It's a wonderful movie that just happens to have Batman in it. I wish I could give this masterpiece more than 10 stars.
Ricky 1 (1986)
This is why you need to put EFFORT in movies
"I'll say this Quadaro, he's all heart. *shows him in heart costume*" This line pretty much sums up this horrid movie. In this movie that was written in 5 minutes, we get a bunch of bad jokes, and gags that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. This is supposed to parody Rocky, but about half of it isn't even close to the Rocky movie. If you actually put effort into your film, you won't end up like this, even if the film sucks. At least people will give you credit for the effort. This film has no redeeming qualities at all. There is nothing of value or great remembrance in this movie. It is pure trash, and there is no wonder not many heard of it.
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Good flick, but very confusing too
I believe Rise of the Guardians is an entertaining film and many can like it, but I would say it has its problems. Anyway, let's talk about the story. The story is a bunch of holiday characters (Santa, Easter Bunny, etc.) who actually protect the earth from harm while still doing their holiday duties. I find this kinda interesting, but weird at the same time. They get a new guardian ion the group, Jack Frost. Jack's goal is to have kids believe in him, and to find his memories. While that's going on, the boogie man, who actually is named Pitch, wants to get rid of the guardians and have kids believe in him. He's tired of the kids not thinking he's real, and wants to change that. With that being said, let's go over my pros and cons.
Pros: -I LOVE this villain. He has a great motive, and is a huge threat. It's a fantastic setup for this guy. I would say this is the best part of the film. -It has funny moments. - It's pretty big. The film reminds me of The Avengers. In that film, a bunch of superheros team up to stop the bad guy. In this one, a bunch of holiday characters who are already teamed up stop the bad guy.
Cons: -It can be very confusing at times. One reason I say that is because apparently the teeth of kids contains memories or makes them believe in them or something like that. There's also one part where the Sandman actually dies, but gets revived somehow later on. He just magically returns somehow. The movie has some more confusing things in it, like the moon choosing certain guardians. Is that supposed to be a god or something? In conclusion, this is a good flick, but I don't love this film. But if you want something big and entertaining to watch, this one should be good for you.
Aladdin (1992)
Truly Disney at their finest.
Like most kids, I also grew up with Disney films, and Aladdin came out the year I was born. However, that did not stop me from watching this film many times during my life. Ever since I was little, this was my favorite Disney movie. This is an excellent film. It teaches great morals, and executes them very well. The story is about Aladdin falling in love with Princess Jasmine, but finds out she can only marry a prince, due to the law. He acquires a lamp with the Genie inside, and he wishes to become a prince, or should I say, look like one. This is my only problem with the film, but this can be overlooked. Why can't he wish he WAS a prince instead of looking like one? But it moves very well into the moral, so I can excuse this. After finding out he would become Sultan after marrying Jasmine, he decides to try and tell her the truth that he's not actually a prince. It's actually before the villain fight and not at the exact end where we have a moral. I like that. He learns that he needs to be truthful, and was trying to tell Jasmine before Jafar exposes him for who he really is. He also learns to keep promises. Before his first wish with the Genie, he promises him he would use his 3rd wish to free him, and even at the end, the Genie tries to talk him into wishing into a prince again, but Aladdin still frees him, despite unlikely being able to marry Jasmine. Nice guy. That is a fantastic way of telling your morals.
Not only are the morals amazing, but so are the characters, especially Aladdin himself. He starts off as a homeless person on the streets of Agrabah, but he has very impressive smarts. Not only for thievery, but anything in general. I mainly say this because when he defeats Jafar, he says that the Genie has more power than he does, and he can take away his powers. This convinces Jafar to use his third wish to become a genie himself, but gets stuck in his own lamp. I love this guy. He is the textbook definition of genius.
Speaking of smart characters, we also have Jasmine. Her father, the sultan of Agrabah, is trying to rush her into getting married, and tries to bring in many princes to marry her. She hates every single one of them. She doesn't care about the law. If she is to marry, she wants it to be for love. She won't marry anyone. She has to actually care for them. I wouldn't marry someone who attempts to whip little kids either. She also nearly figures out Aladdin not being a prince after the Whole New World song, and Aladdin figures out a good excuse. She's another smart and enjoyable character. I also think she's very hot, but I digress.
The most important part of this love story is that the two have great chemistry. They have things in common, and want to help each other out. Not only that, but when Aladdin is Prince Ali, Jasmine actually hates him at first. However, Aladdin builds up the relationship again, and gets Jasmine to fall in love with him again. This may not be on quite the level Beauty and the Beast was with building up a relationship, but it works fine here. Jasmine does suspect that it's actually Aladdin and not a prince before the carpet ride, and she already cared for him, so this is not rushed. It does well for its own love story, but the film is not just that. It's also an adventure, especially since Jafar tries to kill Aladdin a lot. He tries to in the Cave of Wonders when Aladdin is hanging off a cliff and he gets the lamp, he tries to when Aladdin is with Jasmine, and he does after he becomes a sorcerer, along with after Aladdin returns to the palace.
In conclusion, the film has many things to like about it. It has many great elements in it, and focuses on them in a very coherent manner. It has a great love story, great adventure, great characters, amazing comic relief, and wonderful animation and colors. This is something you can truly call a masterpiece.
Pocahontas (1995)
The movie is terrible... if you compare it to the classics before it.
Pocahontas was the first Disney film released after the Disney Renaissance, which includes films like Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, or The Lion King. If you are going to compare Pocahontas to any of those masterpieces, the film is horrendous. But as a film on its own, it's not terrible, even though I am not fond of it.
My biggest complaint about the film is that it's basically a re-telling of how the new land was founded, even though they made most of it up. Come on, we've heard this story many times. But they do also want to connect us with nature, and animals. "Colors of the Wind" is a good example of this but I'll get to the songs in just a minute. I find it ironic that the story wants to connect with nature, but animals can't talk. I have one more question about that, however. How come the animals can't talk, but the tree Pocahontas talks to can? I don't get it.
Speaking of her, she's not very interesting, and neither is John Smith. I find that odd because Mel Gibson voices him. In addition to my other complaints, I do not like Governor Ratcliffe. Is he even supposed to be the villain everyone claims he is? To me, he's just some gold-obsessed person who thinks the Indians are evil. Jafar I consider a villain. Maleificant is another I believe to truly be evil. Ratcliffe, on the other hand, is just some guy who wants gold and has decent military skills.
Anyway, I have one more complaint, and then I will talk about the good stuff. Why are all the Indians copper skinned, and all the British folk have white skin? I know this is a kids film, but no racism! Anyway, I love the songs in this film, especially "Savages" and "Colors Of The Wind". I know Alan Menken, the same guy who did songs for Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and The Little Mermaid made these songs, but I honestly feel this is some of his best work. And speaking of colors, this film has an excellent design and very colorful imagery. The characters and backgrounds look amazing. I also love the raccoon that accompanies Pocahontas. This guy is very funny. I love how he's basically a bully to the spoiled dog. I also like how one of my favorite actors, Christian Bale, is in this film.
In conclusion, I consider this film to be one of the weaker Disney films. It's not Home on the Range bad, but I didn't like this one.
Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
Funniest Disney film ever
When I first watched trailers for this movie, I was completely surprised that Disney was making something like this. I personally thought this would be something Pixar would make instead. I also wondered how much money Disney would have to give video game companies like Nintendo to use Bowser in their film. I thought I would like it, but it wouldn't crack my top 10 Disney films. I was wrong. I went to see this movie, and I was blown away. This film taught a very good lesson: To be yourself, and to think of others. Ralph is a villain in an arcade game, and he wants to be a good guy, and respected by others, thus starting his journey through other games trying to earn a medal to do so. At the end (spoilers here) he actually remains the villain, but people respect him more, since he helped a little girl in a racing game rise again to glory. He stays as a villain, but isn't treated like the garbage he once lived in since he showed he can be a hero, and a nice guy. He learns to be himself, and people will respect him. The others realized it, and learned from their mistake. That is powerful. But the thing I like most about the film is the comedy. I've seen funny Disney films, like Aladdin, Great Mouse Detective, and The Emperor's New Groove, but when it comes to comedy, this film takes the cake. "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?" *Ralph takes off the King's glasses and hits him with them* You hit me with glasses. Well played." Hilarious. The people in the theater were constantly laughing throughout the entire film, as was I. Personally, my only problem with the film is one thing with the villain. Not the villain as a whole, just one part. He's the king of a racing game, and he deletes the file and memory of Penelope, the ACTUAL ruler of the place, so he can be king and she wouldn't interfere. That part is genius, but here's one thing I don't like about him. Apparently, he was actually a virus in another racing game, but they don't explain that until the end of the film. They don't explain that he deleted her file and memory until the end too. You only know that for about 10 minutes of the film (or something like that) until the king is defeated, so this was really forced. However, it is actually a good cause, because one thing I like about the villain is how subtle he is. There's one part (you don't know the king deleted her file yet) where he explains to Ralph why she can't race, and the fact that she is now a glitch makes her unavailable to leave that game, and if someone played it, they would think the game is busted, thus the plug gets pulled and she would die. He makes you feel that he's actually a good guy, and cares for her. I like that a lot. Anyway, outside of my one problem with the villain, this film was excellent. One of the best of the year, and I plan on seeing it again.
Airplane! (1980)
Not bad, but overrated
People often think this is one of the funniest movies ever made. My best friend says this is one of his all time favorite movies. I sat down to watch this today, and I do not agree. It has some good jokes, however. I like the part where this little boy on board goes up to a little girl and offers her coffee, and she has him sit next to her. He asks if she wants cream and she says "No thanks. I take my coffee black, like my men." That is GENIUS. But there's a lot of gags in the movie, for the most part, in my opinion, aren't funny. For example, like the other people that Striker talked to, this one Asian guy covered himself with gasoline and nearly lit himself on fire after talking to him. There's also this one older lady who hung herself after talking to Striker. To me, that's not very funny. The movie is full of gags and other things trying to be funny. Some parts of it work, but others (to me) don't. This isn't a bad movie, but I think it's very overrated. It's not one of my favorite comedies. Sorry guys, that's just my opinion.
Frankenweenie (2012)
Good, but not Burton's best work
Personally, I think this is a good movie, but it's not great. Has a decent story and solid characters, but here's my pros and cons:
Pros: -The dog is awesome. I love the energy this animal has. -I like the relationship that Victor and the dog have. - It can be a really funny film. - It has a decent story with solid characters.
Cons: -(This one isn't really a problem, but I think it's odd) Edgar always smiles. Every time you see him, he smiles. There's even one part where he's running for his life and screaming, and STILL SMILING! You could tell him his grandma died and he would still be smiling!
-Victor is a very bland character if you ask me. True, he's a kid, but they've given kids good personality before. Look at Lilo from Lilo and Stitch. He's not unlikable, he's just bland.
- Almost everyone seems to have a permanent face in this film. I just mentioned Edgar with smiling., but there's also this girl with her white cat who always looks like she's shocked. Here's a picture of her: http://www.dose.ca/movies/6981325.bin?size=dose400
Personally, I would see it again, but this isn't a great film.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
I think it's decent
I actually just watched this film for the first time, and I am shocked I hadn't seen this film before, and I grew up watching Disney films. I am not going to say this film is bad, because it is not, but I will not say it's one of my favorites either. Anyway, let's talk about the good stuff. Quasimodo is a likable character, and I do like him, but he's actually not my favorite in the film. Esmeralda is a FANTASTIC character. She's very kind, cares for others, and, unlike everyone else, she accepts Quasimodo at first, despite him being ugly on the outside. Plus she becomes his only friend and helps him throughout the film. You may think I'm crazy for saying this, but I think she's the second kindest Disney female character ever. First is Belle. She's amazing, I really like her. One more thing I really like about this film is that when Quasimodo and Esmeralda become friends, you think they would get together at the end of the film. You would also think that since Quasimodo obviously develops feelings for her. WRONG. Instead, her and Phoebus, who starts working for Frollo, get together at the end. That's unpredictable, and I like that. I also like the dark tone of the film, and the music that plays in situations like it. Sure, it's overplayed, but it's really good. OK, now for the not so good. Frollo's a very evil character, and will do what it takes to capture Esmeralda. OK good, I have no problem with that, but then during the Hellfire song, he mentions that he wants her to marry him. When at ANY point in the film did Frollo show that? There's NO buildup! I would let this slide, but Frollo nearly kills her at the end, and gives her the option to either marry him or die. Another problem is the moral. Like I mentioned above, Esmeralda accepted Quasimodo, but pretty much everyone else thought he was an ugly freak. What, is every person in the city supposed to be beautiful? They act like they've never seen an ugly person before! They only accept him at the end because he helped save Paris. So the moral of the story is to laugh at an ugly person, but praise him if he saves the city from destruction. Dumb moral. God made us for a reason. In fact, this movie is partially religious, and mention god at times. Shouldn't they think that God made us for a reason? They're people too, you know. Sorry, I REALLY hate this moral. But I do like the story around it, though. Anyway, I think it's okay, but not one of my favorites. It may be worth your time.
Project X (2012)
Hey, what does the trashcan and Project X have in common? They're both garbage!
I did not enjoy this film. I actually haven't seen many bad movies this year, but this was the worst I've seen. I'm sure there's worse than this, but this is the worst I've seen this year. I actually didn't know much about this film before I went to see it with some co-workers of mine. The others (except for one of them) seemed to like it for some reason, while I just completely hated it.
The story is very recycled. It's basically your nerd in high school trying to get popular type of story, but he and his sailor mouth friend, who is one of the biggest jerks. I've seen in movies, have a huge party while his parents are out of town. Before I go in, let me just say that his friend cusses way too much. I don't mind swearing, but you don't need to say it in every sentence! This just makes you look childish! If I had a dime for every time he cussed in it, I'd be richer than Bill Gates.
My first complaint is that the actual party is about 70% of the film. I know the film is about it, but that's way too slow paced. My second complaint is towards the filming. It's some friend of theirs, who, for some reason carries a camera and records everything that happens. Wouldn't the battery die eventually? Okay, that may be nit-picky, but here's something I've questioned for a while. During the party, he still just stands there and records everything. Wouldn't he want to put down the camera for a bit and join the party? Another complaint I have about that camera is that they want HIM to be recording everything, yet he would be shown in one area, then in the next shot, we're upstairs. What happened? Is there another kid who randomly records everything? Maybe I'm just being too harsh about the camera. Although, there is too much movement. You don't wanna do that. I should know, I'm good at filming.
But my biggest problem with this film is that... wait for it... EVERYONE IS EITHER SEX OBSESSED, A DRINKER/WEED SMOKER, OR A COMPLETE JERK!! Yes, there are irresponsible teenagers. Yes, some do have sex too early. And yes, some can be mean people. But the thing is that they make EVERY TEENAGER IN THE PARTY ONE OF THOSE THINGS!! Sorry, that part really irritates me. This is the most stereotypical movie I've seen since North. (1994) Anyway, we're done with the party, and after everything goes completely wrong, the neighborhood is destroyed, and his parents have returned to find the huge damage. Well, this kid is dead meat, so this should be fun to watch! His dad: "Your college fund will pay for this. But I'm amazed you got this many people to come." ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?!?!? Who cares about how many people came? Your son destroyed the neighborhood, and this damage will cost thousands, if not millions of dollars in damage, and part of you is impressed with the turnout? THIS IS STUPID! But, I do have to give credit where it is due. Parts of it is very funny, and it is based off a true story.
Other than that, this film is complete garbage. I'm 20 years old, and think this. Do not waste your money on this.
Epic Movie (2007)
Why was this even made?
(I would vote 0/10 if I could) This movie is garbage. To be honest, when I first saw it when it came out, I actually did find it funny, but since then, my opinion has changed a lot, and so has my humor. Epic Movie trades in good plot, character development, proper story telling, and creativity for more and more efforts to try and get a laugh, but it doesn't work. Not only is it unfunny, but they do a lot of references in the movie. I like subtle references, but Epic Movie is not subtle with it at all. There's one part in the movie where Harry Beaver tells them, "I'll meet you at Aslows. May the force be with you." How on earth is that funny? Epic Movie does a lot of obvious references attempting to be funny. It doesn't work. There's also a lot of pointless montages, like when Mr. Thomnas shows his house on Cribs, or when Willy Wonka tortures the kids, making candy out of them. (I'm not making this up.) How does this benefit the story? This movie doesn't care about plot or anything not named comedy that can make a movie good. It only tries to be funny, and fails miserably. Why was this even made?
Batman Forever (1995)
Too silly, and that's REALLY bad for this type of film
If you watched either the 1989 Batman film, or the Batman Returns movie, they have one thing in common. They're very dark films, and that's good for Batman. He's a dark superhero, and that shouldn't change. Apparently Joel Schumaker disagreed with me. Batman Returns was considered too dark, so you could tell Batman Forever tried making it more kid-friendly, which I find very ironic since it was rated PG-13.
Anyway, the film is about the Riddler, played by Jim Carey, who wants to steal brain waves from every TV in town and enlists the help of Two-Face, played by Tommy Lee Jones. While Batman tries to stop them, Two-Face kills Dick Grayson's parents, and gets adopted by Bruce. Two problems with that, however. One is that Two-Face didn't kill Robin's parents in the comic, Tony Zucco did. Second problem is that in the comics, Robin was a kid. In this movie, he's like 25.
After Dicks' parents get killed, he wants to kill Two-Face, but Bruce tells him why killing is not the answer, and I really like how he says it.
Anyway, my biggest problem is that the movie tries to be funny, and it's not. You see this scene at the beginning where the music is cool and intense, then gets interrupted by, "Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you sir?" "I'll get drive thru." There's also one part when the Riddler is destroying the Bat Cave and there's this baseball theme music playing for some weird reason. How on earth is this funny? T There's also this one scene where Batman is being chased, and you see this woman pushing a baby cart down the street, but it turns out to be Two-Face in disguise. Not only is this unfunny, but it is completely pointless.
Another problem is that the acting is either boring or over the top. I would mainly say Val Kilmer is boring, while the villains are over the top. Especially Tommy Lee Jones. He's not a bad actor, but this wasn't his best film. You would also notice he smiles all the time, even after something bad happens. I also hate his costume. Why is the other side of his suit all red and striped? And why does half of his tie have black polka dots? Completely random if you ask me.
Anyway, the film is too silly for a great, dark superhero like Batman. I hate this movie, but not as much as Joel's next film, Batman and Robin.