What a dismal addition to the Batman franchise, if they had plans to end it then they did a good job. Robert Pattinson looked more like Brandon Lee from The Crow, The Joker resembled Curly Watts from Coronation street, Catwoman was just some female who did a bit of acrobats in between looking for her lost friend and a passport, the continuity was a joke, one example of this is when Bruce Wayne was at the funeral and the car crashed in to the hall with Gil Colsen in it then Bruce Wayne nips home, dons his Batman suit then reappears to solve the riddles? Did nobody see him go? Then at the end Batman and Catwoman stand on the tall police building then appear to drive through a cemetry then part in different paths? Why go through a cemetry? Who goes through a cemetry to get to the main road? Alfred seemed to be a cockney cheekie chappy, everyone seems to gruff and mumble their line in a deep rasp. Oh dear im sorry but dont waste 3 hours of your life watching this, it is not worth it.
Reviews
11 Reviews
Over the Top
(1987)
It Made Me The Arm Wrestling God I Am Today
11 May 2021
Back in 1986 i was just a geeky kid, fast forward to 1987 and watching this film propelled me to a career in truck driving and the many Arm-Wrestling contest that are held all over West Clare Ireland. When i watched this film back in the day i never believed i would get married, have a kid, see my wife die, lose my Kid, buy a big truck, enter arm-wrestling contest then regain my kid. A great film.
The Masked Singer UK
(2020– )
Popadabadobulous and Rockadabadobulous
11 January 2020
After a long week of work at the sewage farm where i work 80+ hours per week, there is nothing i like better than to relax and switch off and watch this pile of online crap, its like a busmans holiday for me watching the masked singer. but i dont get paid for watching this kind of crap on telly.
The Predator
(2018)
slpstick comedy
2 September 2019
If you have ever watched on the buses, only fools and horses or dads army then your in for the time of your life, this is one of your bigger budget farces. 80 million dollars worth of slapstick comedy from start to finish if you make it to the end which i seriously doubt you will. total garbage of a film, avoid like the plague that it is.
The Bigfoot Project
(2017)
Bigfoot or Bigfeet
20 April 2017
I had the pleasure of watching this film at the palm noir festival after winning tickets in my local jamboree tombola, second prize was a set of wedge wood dinner plates, wow I'm so glad i didn't win the plates. From the opening scene i was enthralled as only a man under the spell of enthrallment could be, all through the film i was totally locked upon the protagonist of the movie Andy Goldenberg and his mates who go in search of the legendary big footed footman, who apparently only has one foot that's big, otherwise he would be called Bigfeet. So on to the story, camera in hand they set off to find the elusive beast in Georgia, as that's a good enough place as any i suppose, this Georgia is the one in America not the one near Turkey, that sorted out we carry on with the cast, the building of the characters is slow but this gives you time to feel how passionate they are about finding the beast, the shaky direction by the director really gives you the feeling you are there, Jamie Kerrigan and Moose Simmon give an brave attempt at acting but sometime its hard to know which are the trees and which are the actors, the other actors in this film do serve a purpose but I'm not to sure what it is, overall i left the cinema still wondering if part 2 will be the search for the Unicorn, if you only see one movie this year then you should get a girlfriend and watch this flick
The Fate of the Furious
(2017)
oh dear
11 April 2017
Having sat through all of the other 7 films i knew what was to come or so i thought, never ever have i seen such a long re-hash of the same old story since the Friday the 13th franchise. Disappointment is not a word i like to use for a film but oh dear mother of Mary was this film garbage, when fast and furious 9 comes out it will probably be set in space and have floating cars crossing dimensions in space and have little woolly bears like return of the jedi. disgusting franchise that should of been buried long ago. If you have the intellect of a 6 year old then this film will serve its purpose and after watching this trash you can go home and play with your matchbox cars and pretend your Vin Diesel. The storyline is non existent the acting is belligerent everybody thinks there tough and can never die its sad and pathetic, i hope when you stand outside the cinema people throw coins at you thinking you are somewhat retarded.
Step Up Revolution
(2012)
The Greatest Story Ever Brought To The Big Screen
24 September 2016
I entered the cinema with some in-trepidation before watching this movie, popcorn at the ready and coca cola in hand i slowly sank into my ill-fitting cramp seat. Once the movie started i was awe inspired from start until the closing credits. Sean played by a homosexual dancer was moving like vanilla ice on water, his kick style dancing would of made even the hardcore dancers of the next generation salivate, the only way to express the moves he does without you seeing this film is by saying imagine Tchaikovskys Swan Lake performed by a man in slacks, Now to the very believable storyline which involves a billionaire property dealer who wants to knock down thousands of crack houses to make way for better quality homes and a cleaner safe environment for children to play in, and the dancers persistent fight to thwart him in his tracks, and true to life after 2 hours of watching kicks and hands flapping about they succeed, plus they all become great mates and have a bit of a laugh. excellent movie that should of got an Oscar for most elaborate and traditional story line.
Cool as Ice
(1991)
Vanilla is a KILLA
13 July 2016
I was lucky enough to catch this film at the Cannes palm de'olive film and script show in Grimbsy. Settling in my seat i was sceptical as what i would make of Vanilla ice's acting debut, i was not to be disappointed. As soon as the film started you were captivated from the onslaught of this lyrical genius, to put Vanilla into one word as "God" would be an understatement, if he were alive 2000 years ago im sure the disciples would of followed him instead of Jesus, and also had them dancing like the rapper he is while they were fishing. the opening scene lets us delve into the life of Johnny played by Vanilla Ice. his on screen performance grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go, if you can remember de niro in the Russian roulette scene in deer hunter, well multiply it by a million and your still not on par with his acting ability. ONCE YOU SEE HIM PEDDLE UP ON HIS NEON YELLOW MOTORCYCLE, you know your in for a treat, Vanilla plays the rebellious Johnny to a T, from start to finish his one word dialogue is enthralling and hits straight at the guts, with his no-nonsense attitude to life and its rules he sways the non believers to worship his style of rap. I hear this was director David Kellog first film with Mr Ice and hopefully we will see more of his collaboration with the funky ICE ICE BABY. After 90 mins of pure unadulterated rush of adrenaline film script, it was sad to see the credits roll, but the audience at the cinema stood up and gave an ovation to the brilliant mind that is VANILLA. Hopefully there will be a sequel. 10/10
United Passions
(2014)
Superb Film That Shoots On Target
10 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I had the chance to see this film at the film de palma in Harringate multicomplex in Birmingham. Having been a football fan for over 27 years i was blessed to be able to see the true events surrounding the intriguing story of the organization FIFA. Tim Roth is truly impressive as Seph Blatter and should be up for an Oscar, his portrayal of the well renowned President brought a tear to my eye, his scathing criticism concerning FIFA out bidding the tiddlywink championships based in the Ganges set my pulse racing. Also Sam Neil puts in a fine performance playing Joao Havelange, his first lines were mind blowing, I must also give credit to the camera team and make up artist, who must of been slightly inebriated during the making of this film. The best part must be when Joan Of Arc reveals herself to really be the reincarnation of Sir Matt Busby, he of Manchester United fame. If you only see one film this year then obviously you don't get out much.
Gods of Egypt
(2016)
Oh God Its Another God Movie
2 July 2016
After reading several reviews regarding Gods of Egypt, i resigned myself to have a look at the film. I first saw it at the sundance film festival in Honolulu, Where i was cavorting with my pregnant secretary Imelda, this is of course without my wifes knowledge, Anyway back to the film, the Gods of Egypt is a film on par with such other films about Gods and God like things, Charlie Chaplin has a Cameo role playing Charlie Chaplin, the most impressive quality i found in this movie was the lighting set up, which i thought was a unique way to use a torch on a stick, the sound quality was miserable, so was the acting and the dialogue was less engrossing as hearing a potato being peeled. Above all i would recommend this film if you like God and God like things 6/10.
Jarhead 2: Field of Fire
(2014 Video)
Not Very Real
3 February 2016
When i was in the gulf war, we just had a M16 rifle, chewing gum and a very small toilet roll that incidentally had to last for our whole tour of duty. In this film there are lazer guns, romulan mind-melds an Alien from the planet xena-4 plus every soldier seems to quote " Beam me up scotty" before they get shot. If you want a good action movie go for Wind In The Willows part 2, or you could just watch a few episodes of star trek which may have the same effect on you. Basically don't watch this film. its no good, its akin to jumping around naked with a pineapple superglued to one of your feet. i watched it twice and dozed off several times and that was just during the opening credits. which took almost twenty minutes to get through as for the sound effects they were boring. hang on am i reviewing the right film? this is citizen kane is it not?.
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