stgermain-1 Reviews

Dostana (2008)

Pure Rubbish...

[1/10 · 11 December 2008]

I wonder if those of you that gave this high ratings actually watched the movie. There was no plot development, no character development and the jokes - oh! there were jokes? I must have missed them as did the writers as they clearly missed including them in this massive stinker.

The beginning has some measure of promise that is then never fulfilled in the second half. The humour, such that is is, is so over the top and exaggerated that it's no where near approaching funny. John Abraham, "Mr. Hot Bod" is only that - this guy really needs to spend less time in a gym and more getting some decent acting instruction. "Little B" does as much as he can with the minimal material given him - usually if he's given decent material, he's one of the few in Bollywood today that can approach what the rest of the world considers actual acting - with time, I'm sure he will emerge as a truly decent actor.

The one redeeming feature of the film is Chopra - not only does she appear breathtakingly beautiful as usual, however she appears to be maturing into a genuine actress. Even with the pathetic material she's been given in this dog of a film, she makes a best effort and really brings her character to life. That the character is lifeless in content is the fault of the director and writers - not her.

Finally - who allows any of the Deol's to make movies? Really? They are HORRID actors and Bobby Deol is one of the worst so called actors to grace the screen in any country. SRK is mono-dimensional, but this guy is non-dimensional.

Don't waste your money or time on either the theatre or rental or a download - rubbish - pure rubbish!

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

Disappointing... No, Really It Was...

[5/10 · 13 October 2007]

I've read many of the other "reviews" or comments here; let's just say that I beg to differ with the positive ones: to me, it's kinda like those that are wedded to Apple/Mac as they/it can do no wrong - no matter if in fact they/it does/do.

What truly bothers me the most about this film is the massively unrealised potential of the story and the telling of it. Anderson has such an opportunity to build another 'Rushmore' here, but falls flat given the task. He introduces so many elements and is virtually never able to meld them into a cohesive structure. He starts sub-tales and never finishes them

The acting too is flat and meaningless; frankly, Owen Wilson is the same repetitive character in *every movie* I've seen him in as he is here.

Anderson has a real chance to show India, even if it would be as a side travelogue to the main story - he again, never gives even that simple component to us.

Maybe he can revisit this in the future and fully flesh it out to deliver to the viewer the film he was so masterfully incapable of presenting with this version.

Summary: wait for the DVD - maybe it will have more to it and you'll really not be missing anything that requires the Big Screen, as this lifeless story can easily be told on the little one. (That's RENT not BUY the DVD)

Naqaab (2007)

It's Good... Surprisingly So... But!

[7/10 · 1 September 2007]

--- Yaar! There May Be Spoilers Below - You'll Have To Decide ---

It *is* a bit predictable and it's hardly "amazing" as SpringSummerWinter claims. It's a well done yarn and has a good measure of twists and turns but again, I think you'll see them as predictable ones. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy the movie: I most certainly did.

With regard to acting... No one here is an A-List actor on a global level. Akshaye Khanna is the same character in every movie - it's like watching Dustin Hoffman - one acting model slightly dressed up differently for each film. While he does a credible job here - he's still the same tortured and tormented character that he always is and lifeless and stiff as such.

Urvashi Sharma is gorgeous, and doesn't suck her first time out - but clearly she needs seasoning and I applaud her for taking the risk of doing the closest I've seen to a sex scene in a bollywood film - and in her first movie! YIKES!

Saw III (2006)

Disjointed and Chaotic

[4/10 · 28 January 2007]

IF there's a plot here, I fail to see/understand it. I thought the first Saw was OK - interesting idea(s) and decent execution, but still not great horror movie.

Saw III lacks any sense of a plot - I was convinced that the Dina Meyer segment was a dream sequence as it had nothing to do with anything and almost literally goes by in a flash. I'm glad it was a free view - how can people pay US$10 to see this kind of trash? I would really like to understand how so many people here can comment that this was great or the best of the three? Did we watch the same movie? It's hard for me to believe that at all. It's also hard to believe that Amazon, er, the IMDb has such a strange way of counting "lines" and thus, making me add additional commentary when the simple summary I wrote originally should have sufficed.

Don't waste your time on this - read an old Clive Barker book - it'll be a better use of your time. I'd recommend "The Books Of Blood".

Jesus Camp (2006)

One of the scariest movies I've ever seen

[8/10 · 26 January 2007]

Wow - I don't know how to come up with 10 lines to describe this film that will more fully flesh out the basic idea that my summary says.

The indoctrination of these poor defenceless kids into radical Christianity should be a criminal offence in my opinion. I don't see how this is *any different* than what is done in the Madrasah's around the world where they teach hatred of non-Muslims (unbelievers) - the so called minister in the film flatly says 1) "there are two types of people in the world: those that believe in Jesus and those that don't" (since the Muslims believe that Jesus was a valid prophet, does that make them "believers" then?) and 2) that she can see Christian kids being (I'm accurately paraphrasing here) soldiers for Jesus and fighting for the Christian way.

Watch this film and be afraid - be VERY afraid. And remember: teach tolerance wherever and whenever you can: if we could all just accept each other as we are and recognise that all forms of belief are valid, perhaps we can stop killing each other.

Let's Bring Our Heroes Home (2004)

Awful By Any Standard

[1/10 · 9 January 2007]

Where to begin?

#1 Amitabh's son, played by Akshaye Khanna, is 30.

Amitabh's been in prison for 33+ years... he

A) Telepathically transmitted the sperm home?

B) Asked a nice Pakistani guard to mail it for him?

C) They allow conjugal visits in secret Pakistani Jails

D) All of the above

E) The producers were having a little too much bhang at

the time they approved the script?

#2) Amrita Rao (Yummm!) wants Khanna - he's yum, yum, yummy... and apparently he wants her - who wouldn't, right?!... But, when her dad gets ratted out, and then killed (I hardly think this is a 'spoiler' as you'd have to be brain-dead and blind not to see this coming in the film) he's pretty emotionless towards this catastrophe and with the tip (metaphorically) of his hat, leaves her behind to save his dad, never mind her loss, and says (paraphrasing) "If god wills it, we'll meet again"... Basically meaning, "I'm gonna get my dad and MY job done, sorry for your loss - CYA! Buh Bye!" - callus beyond even low-life Hollywood standards...

#3) There are so many holes in this horrible waste of time called a movie, that you can drive all the jeeps, trucks camels and any extra stuff through it. Pass - really, complete and total waste of time - Oh! There is a great dance sequence (yes, only one - as in dance sequence - regardless of quality) great belly dancing - but NOT worth watching just for this.

Rent Veer-Zaara or Lakshya (will Hrithik Roshan ever take acting lessons?) for better Indo-Pak conflict movies... In fact, Veer-Zaara is pretty damned good - 7.5/8 I'd say!

Event Horizon (1997)

Never Lives Up To Potential

[4/10 · 29 December 2006]

Indeed, good/great production - excellent idea/plot, however, the final execution and end product are far from the kind of movie this could have been.

It's a SciFi flick in as much as it's set in space and includes some Quantum?/Temporal?/Physics concepts; it's at its heart, a horror film and it never really hits the mark there: it tries to be both cerebral AND Gory at the same time and never makes it in either category: the gore is never fully (pardon the pun) fully fleshed out, and the cerebral component never really kicks in - Anderson throws hints at you and gets your mind started, but then leaves you cold.

Skip it - Watch the Korean film "OldBoy" instead and while it's neither horror nor SciFi - it IS superb and will leave you totally satisfied. :-)

Surface (2005–2006)

Ditto...

[10/10 · 28 August 2006]

Only thing worth watching on NBC in as long as I can remember - amazing that it won't be back, but really, perhaps not really so: the American television audience rarely goes for smart TV... Mindless entertainment yes... As for the posts on petitions, etc... NBC killed Star Trek in the 60's - and NOTHING brought it back to that network. Maybe UPN or WB will buy it... NBC, 99.999999% nope! Bastards! ;)

(filler line to meet the dopey 10 line comment req's)

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Kabhi Kabhie (1976)

Terrible - even for the time and for Bollywood

[3/10 · 5 August 2006]

OK - this film is worth seeing because indeed, the poetry and music is superb. But puhleez! the acting is below par or perhaps it's due to the weak script. The story has potential, but its execution is lacking.

I did appreciate, and still do, a good love story, and this it has, but it's an immature story never properly realised on the screen; perhaps the re-make will finally fulfull this potential.

I know a number of Indians that adore this film - perhaps, my not liking it is my exposure to other foreign films and India's limitations on imported cinema in that time period and thus, their exposure to 'higher-quality' cinema. I do know that even a lot of the sappy love stories done now in Bollywood I really like... but this... sorry!

The individual song, "Kabhi Kabhie" is wonderful esp. the remix done by Bally Sagoo - search the net for it - his mix is excellent.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

RE #1 - Bad. RE #2 - Rocks...

[8/10 · 5 August 2006]

People here get wayyyy too carried away with picking things apart. I really thought that #1 sucked - I regretted seeing it... A friend "made" me see #2 and I was delighted that he did - it was really good - sooooo much better than the first. I have to ask if the people writing here saw the same RE#1 that *I* did as it was so awful! Milla kicks butt on screen and I really look forward to seeing RE#3.

They did a lot more plot development here as well as action and F/X sequences. The Alice character's individual development also makes a big diff in the movie.

Chill folks...

Ultraviolet (2006)

People Need To Lighten Up...

[8/10 · 5 August 2006]

I think the number one thing we've learnt from UV is:

1) Movie viewers these days are way too serious about their comic books brought to life

2) People are challenged these days to be able to view a fantastic (as in fantasy, not as in quality) rendering of imagination as a whole, without picking it apart; nothing is perfect.

3) People do get way too personal with these comments

So the film had flaws - and what film these days doesn't? The action was superb, the F/X were excellent - a bit spotty in places, but overall extremely imaginative and IMHO, enough to overlook the "sub-par" bits. Clearly there was a plot - it wasn't as fleshed out as it could have been, but it was enough to support the film.

Indeed - it seems that there needs to be a Director's Cut as when you watch the "Making Of..." Wimmer has no part in that bit - he was apparently cut from the final release as in his vision and thus, the film that was shot, was never shown - what the STUDIO heads thought was good was shown. And I do think it was a decent film - but I would someday like to see the full feature as Wimmer intended it to be. If you're wondering: the DVD, as far as I can tell, is the same as the theatre version - I don't know what the "UNrated" tag means in this case - if someone DOES know the diff, please post it.

This is a fantasy - a comic book brought to the big screen - so it's OK. Kinda like in the Fantastic Four: where that kind of dose of Gamma rays would kill you instantly, not make you a super human/mutant/something... but hey! it's a COMIC book and so it works - remember your old pal... IMAGINATION?

I get much more peeved (amazing that IMDb considers "pis___-off" a 'prohibited word') off at films that take "artistic license" with fixed reality (e.g. Independence Day - Jeff Goldblum is overnight able to break down the alien OS and code a virus for it?! Puleeeze! It's a SciFi movie - that means they have some rules to adhere to: like the SCIENCE part... at least when they are code-breaking in StarTrek, they are using a super 24th century computer to do it - not an old Mac power book and one human brain) and foist that onto the public.

I'd recommend the film - not as some intellectual bit, but as a nice bit of action-packed fluffy entertainment - view it from that perspective and I think you'll like/appreciate it too.

Mission Kashmir (2000)

Worst Movie... ?Ever?

[3/10 · 27 May 2006]

Plot potential = 8 Plot execution = 1? 0? Massively unrealistic ending - plot and character development - non-existent and it's the first Bollywood/Hindi movie I've ever seen when I fast-forwarded through all but one of the songs. Did I mention an ending that is completely unrealistic, unnatural, wrong in so many ways and totally unrealistic?

Pass on this. No, really, pass - it's horrible. I was at least hoping for some decent shots of Kashmir and the culture, etc... Nope. Not even that.

I greatly appreciated the intent of the film from the tribute page at the end, but this film is no tribute to anything except bad film making and bad acting - even from good/great actors. Rent Yaadein if you want to see a great film w/ Jackie Shroff and Hrithik Roshan. And Sonali Kulkarni, while in a supporting role, is great in Dil Chahta Hai as is Preity Zinta.