izibellz Reviews

Amnesiac (2014)

Confusing ...

[3/10 · 21 March 2017]

So, I didn't mind the slow pacing of the movie or the acting as I thought that it all worked together to create a sufficiently creepy atmosphere ... I just really didn't understand the plot. If the man and the woman were working together all along then why on earth was the body of her 'previous husband' packed away in the cupboard in the basement? You can't just throw that in there as a red herring to make the audience believe that, ooooooh, the woman is psychotic and has kidnapped men like this before, without explaining away the body when it turns out that the current 'kidnapped man' has been there by choice all along. If she isn't kidnapping man after man in her attempts to get a child then why on earth was there a body in the cupboard before they even kidnapped the girl?

Into the Woods (2014)

EXTREMELY annoying "musical"

[1/10 · 8 June 2015]

This ... this ... this is an EXTREMELY annoying movie, wow!! It's trying to pass itself off as a musical but, really, just belting out lines at random notes does not a musical make. This isn't music, it's highly aggravating, ear-splitting CACOPHONY ... IT'S A FREAKING HEADACHE!! There isn't a single actual song ... it's all just, oh, let me take these (very badly written) lines and "sing" them ... and, believe me, the lines are CRINGE-WORTHY!!!! I can't comprehend how anyone could think this "musical" with its lack of actual music and its extremely juvenile dialogue (oh, yeah, and plot) was a good idea ... and then random cheating just out of nowhere, haha ... take that, little children ... life sucks, even in fairy tales, and now you know it ... by the way, you know Santa?? HE'S NOT REAL!! :D :D :D :D And the casting, ho ho ho, this is Cinderella like you've never seen her before. If it ever occurred to you that Anna Kendrick would make a TERRIBLE Cinderella, YOU WERE RIGHT, because she looks like a 12-year-old playing dress-up and it's very, very sad. And disturbing. Oh, and Rapunzel? Well, apparently she can control when to grow her lengthy tresses back, haha, because her hair returns IMMEDIATELY after the baker's wife cuts it off (to the point where the witch doesn't notice anything anything out of the ordinary) ... and then remains short when, later in the movie, the witch cuts it off!!!!!! (??????) Seriously, people, this is bad.

Bitten (2014–2016)

Slower Than a Snail on Prozac

[4/10 · 19 July 2014]

While at first I found this series to have potential, my interest dwindled at around the third episode. It's just so ... painfully ... slow. I've watched the entire first season now and, honestly, the last episode is the best BY FAR because the plot actually manages to plod along somewhere; it's exciting, action-packed in a good way, not in the let's throw in some random fight scenes because even we can tell this is boring as fcuk way of the rest of the series, and you actually care to find out what happens ... because, amazingly, STUFF HAPPENS!!! I've read the first book of the series that this is based on and it really could have worked. Clay, especially, is excellent. Some of the other actors, not so much, but most of them have their moments. The story, however, is what kills this because a whole lot of nothing happens. The characters spend so much time sitting around, talking and just generally being useless. Logan's girl, in particular, is a pathetic specimen I kept wishing would meet her end. The special effects aren't amazing but - whatever - that kind of stuff doesn't usually bother me unless it's atrocious. The WRITERS are slowly (very, very, very, V E R Y slowly) going to kill this series. They suck.

Pretty Little Liars (2010–2017)

Just kill this series already.

[8/10 · 12 January 2014]

This show started off SO good. It was suspenseful, scary, intriguing and mysterious. It has, however, reached the point where - because they won't just end it already - half the town is involved in A's ridiculousness and the plot has dwindled down to not much more than someone being accused, someone else being accused, rinse, repeat. I mean, HOW many times have they suspected Spencer's sister, Melissa?! They want to keep this going for as long as they can, but ... why are people even still watching?! That right there tells you that there's *never* going to be any resolution. I've reached the end of season three and that's plenty for me. My eight out of ten rating is for the beginning of the series.

The World's Greatest First Love (2011)

Watch Junjou Romantica Instead ...

[6/10 · 18 January 2013]

This anime's pretty much a lesser version of Junjou Romantica. It's less romantic, not as funny, and frankly kind of ... boring. Some of the Junjou characters do make cameo appearances, but I don't know whether this because both series are created by the same people, or what. At first, the shōjo manga department angle is funny, but after a while it becomes tedious. Why is Ritsu exhausted? Because he's overworked. Why does Kisa not have enough time for Yukina? Because he's overworked. Etcetera, etcetera, ETCETERA! You can see where I'm going with this ... o_o The various characters also spend a lot of time moping. And, my God, it takes Ritsu and Masamune FOREVER to get over their silly problems.

Otherwise, a lot of the characters really got on my last nerve, too. I liked Chiaki, Yuu, Kisa, Yukina, Isaka, and ... that was it. Everybody else seriously grated: Yokozawa, with all his nonsense; Ritsu, with his refusal to admit to anything just for the sake of it; An, with her apparent hearing impairment: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (!!); and Masamune and Hatori, who were so thoroughly uninteresting that I could barely keep my eyes open to read the subtitles when they were on-screen.

Yeah. Unless you're interested in mundane characters who just can't seem to get their cheesecake together in a timely fashion, I recommend Junjou Romantica.

Junjou Romantica (2008–2015)

Aaaaaaawwwwwww!!!

[10/10 · 17 January 2013]

This anime is just ... adorable. The characters are layered and interesting, the romances are too cute, and you might not be able to stop laughing. IT. IS. SO. FUNNY. And it's the little details that make it hilarious, such as the bears (UDON BEAR! :D) and Usagi's obsession with collecting bizarre things, because every time they sneak into the story you can't help but crack out laughing. Initially, I didn't want to know *anything* about all the other people who have their own episodes, because - MOAR USAGI AND MISAKI, M'KAY?! (It didn't help that I couldn't tell them apart at first. It really didn't. I spent half an episode wondering what (and who) the hell I was watching before Usagi showed up at Hiroki's door and it finally clicked.) But the other characters will grow on you, so stick with it! :) Anyway, if you're looking for a romantic comedy anime with some totally sweet (and not graphic at all) boy lovin' - DO NOT LOOK ANY FURTHER!!! Enjoy. And you're welcome! (",)

Loveless (2005)

Thoroughly Entertaining!!!

[10/10 · 15 January 2013]

This is the first anime I've ever watched, if you don't count the countless Pokémon episodes that I caught on TV over a decade ago when I was trying to avoid homework after school, and I have to say: I'M IMPRESSED! :)

I absolutely adored the entire story, which I also found surprisingly deep. I mean, I didn't know *what* to expect, but I guess I was skewing towards something much more silly, and LOVELESS is anything *but* that. It's sad, but at the same time hilarious, almost poking fun at itself, but in a wonderfully *dark* way. The characters are all quite brilliant, the secondary ones so well-crafted that - in my opinion - they often steal the scene from Soubi and Ritsuka. My *only* problem is Soubi, who drove me half-crazy with his aggravating cageyness and with the way he kept going off on his own ... and then *getting hurt*, ahem ... and refusing even to let Ritsuka help him AFTERWARDS. Come on, dude: WTF?! But I sort of came to understand him a little more by the end, which is why I didn't end up dropping a star or two. I warmed up to him during the second-last episode, which almost had me rolling on the floor laughing FOR REALS.

I'd really like more episodes, though, because there are so many questions left unanswered. I want to know more about Seimei and any other Loveless and Ritsu and all the Zeros and what the fridge-tart happened at the end and ... BAH! I guess I should just read the manga, eh?

Anyway, this anime's cool, and it definitely has me wanting to check out some others.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

Does NOT live up to its rating!!!

[1/10 · 3 December 2012]

I get that this is a children's movie, but why do the older Vikings have Scottish accents while their offspring chat as though they've just left the mall, with American accents and rampant clichés? The main character wants a girlfriend and is sad that he'll probably never get to go on a date ... wait, what? For that matter, why do ANY of the Vikings have a Scottish accent? o_O And did *any* female Vikings *ever* leave their homes and hearths, or whatever? Also, how come the dragon knew so many human gestures when he'd barely spent any time around the main character, or any other human? He's gesturing with his head at the fish, indicating that the boy must eat it, and mimicking the act of swallowing. Really, watching this you'd think there was nothing but a language barrier between humans and reptilian creatures. This movie's just ... silly. Way too childish. If you're over the age of 10, go watch Shrek again instead.

We Bought a Zoo (2011)

HOW is this movie averaging such a high rating???

[1/10 · 10 October 2012]

This is absolute crap. First of all, for a movie that has everything from tigers to kangaroos to porcupines, it sure is boring. Secondly, what the heck kind of widower with small children thinks it's a great idea to face off with a bear and wander into a tiger enclosure because, God forbid, the tiger's chilling on the roof of his tiger house, and - to paraphrase Matt Damon's character, whose name I don't even remember - if the tiger attacks him, AT LEAST IT WILL CLIMB DOWN FROM THE ROOF FIRST? Jesus Christ, you've got to be KIDDING me!!! WAY TO LOOK AFTER YOUR MOTHERLESS CHILDREN, AS*H*LE!!! And why can't the tiger hang around on his roof if he wants to be there? IF YOU DON'T WANT THE TIGER ON THE ROOF, DON'T GIVE THE TIGER A LARGE, FLAT, WARM ROCK THAT'S EASILY ACCESSIBLE AS A ROOF!!! O_O Also, I love how the guy buys a zoo because "it makes his very young daughter happy" and conveniently ignores the fact that (1) of course a small child is going to like a zoo, this doesn't mean it's a good idea to buy one, and that (2) his teenage son is NOT happy that his dad's wasting all their money on a run-down zoo out in the middle of nowhere. Finally, he should probably invest in some employees who know what they're doing. This is a ZOO. There are WILD ANIMALS in the enclosures. It is STUPID to run into a lion enclosure while a fellow employee "distracts" the lion. If Mr. Lion's feeling peckish, he'll IGNORE the crazy person yelling and waving at him, without a second thought, and EAT the other person who's walked into his enclosure, has turned his back on him, and probably pongs of fear all the way to Timbuktu. Not to mention that Scarlett Johansson's character leaves an UNLOCKED crate of snakes just - you know - sitting there, in a place where the main guy's son or little daughter can (AND DO!) just stumble upon it and open it out of curiosity. Responsibility is SO overrated, you know???

Love Bites (2011)

Not Very Romantic + Not Very Funny

[1/10 · 29 September 2012]

I don't understand why ANYONE is upset about this series being cancelled, because it's ridiculously bad, by which I mean ridiculous AND bad. I watched all eight episodes over the past two days and barely cracked a smile. And trust me, this kind of series should be right up my alley. I'm a 26 year old woman and I practically live for sappy romance, but this series just plain sucks balls. It's as though the writers had a brain-storming session to think up as many clichéd romantic scenarios as they could, then took the very stupidest and most obvious - not to mention HIGHLY unfunny - ones, and came up with fifteen-minute-long skits based around each one, which they then lumped together to fit eight hour-long time slots. What you're going to get here is the homophobic mom who can't deal with her gay son's relationship, the frumpy husband who gets the chance to join the mile-high club with the ZOMG #1 CELEBEAUTY ON HIS FREE PASS LIST (!!!), the saint who's having her sister's baby and is so fake-nice that you're going to want to punch her face in every time she shows up on screen and demands that her parking ticket be taken away because, like, *choosing* to be pregnant with someone else's kid is, like, TOTALLY the same as being handicapped, the woman who can't buy a house with her frumpy husband because she previously had sex in said house with some other douche-nozzle, the heart-broken weirdo who's seduced by the sleazy older lady and taught to be a less clingy boyfriend ... etcetera. Oh, there's also some cancer thrown in, but don't worry: you won't actually care. There were three skits I genuinely enjoyed: the one with the school dance, the one that followed, with the astronauts, and the one with the creepy dad who was ruining his eight-year-old daughter's life. They make up one episode out of eight. The rest had me staring at the screen like this: o_O So, no, I do not recommend that you watch this series, because it's utter crap, and I am now going to do a happy dance because LOVE BITES has been cancelled, which means I will never under any circumstances end up watching another episode EVER again.