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Bernard_Sinew
Reviews
Graveyard Alive (2003)
Graveyard Alive, Audience Asleep (contains possible spoilers)
Graveyard Alive is pastiche to 50's zombie B-movie horrors. The film starts off promisingly, with a woodsman discovers an unseen creature. He then captures the critter and for some reason (which is never quite worked out) he decides to place it in a box and take it back to his cabin.
Cue box violently shaking on table and Gremlin-esque sound effects, before getting bitten.
The woodsman goes to his local hospital to treat his injuries, and it is at this point that the film's pace slows down to that of the undead. In a lift. What we have next is people turning to zombies, a few deaths, a few scenes of cannibalism and and very little else.
The film's budget was 50,000 Canadian Dollars, and about 20 of them were spent on make-up. The zombies, that aren't really zombies at all they're humans who need to eat human flesh in order to stay alive, look truly awful with dark circles around their eyes and dark cheek bones .
Character wise there's the suspicious janitor who's a zombie expert, the Dr who is sickly and popular with the nurses, the nurse he's dating who's the same, and the main nurse who is the glasses wearing shy type and the butt of the popular nurse's jokes.
Very tedious, short on any gross out scenes, devoid of any humour and a poor script, Graveyard Alive - a supremely mis-leading title - has very little redeeming qualities. Yes it may be a pastiche, but were all 50's B-movies so awful? Whatever you do, just don't bite anyone OK? And for that matter, don't waste your money either.
1 out of 5
Graveyard Alive (2003)
Graveyard Alive, Audience Asleep (contains possible spoilers)
Graveyard Alive is pastiche to 50's zombie B-movie horrors. The film starts off promisingly, with a woodsman discovers an unseen creature. He then captures the critter and for some reason (which is never quite worked out) he decides to place it in a box and take it back to his cabin.
Cue box violently shaking on table and Gremlin-esque sound effects, before getting bitten.
The woodsman goes to his local hospital to treat his injuries, and it is at this point that the film's pace slows down to that of the undead. In a lift. What we have next is people turning to zombies, a few deaths, a few scenes of cannibalism and and very little else.
The film's budget was 50,000 Canadian Dollars, and about 20 of them were spent on make-up. The zombies, that aren't really zombies at all they're humans who need to eat human flesh in order to stay alive, look truly awful with dark circles around their eyes and dark cheek bones .
Character wise there's the suspicious janitor who's a zombie expert, the Dr who is sickly and popular with the nurses, the nurse he's dating who's the same, and the main nurse who is the glasses wearing shy type and the butt of the popular nurse's jokes.
Very tedious, short on any gross out scenes, devoid of any humour and a poor script, Graveyard Alive - a supremely mis-leading title - has very little redeeming qualities. Yes it may be a pastiche, but were all 50's B-movies so awful? Whatever you do, just don't bite anyone OK? And for that matter, don't waste your money either.
1 out of 5
Kyûtî Hanî (2004)
Uber-camp or super kitsch???
Cutie Honey is one of the most entertaining bad films that you are likely probably to see. It looks like its made for minors, yet has elements and philosophy that you just wouldn't get whilst watching Power Rangers. Think sexy, sassy and daft: watch this film with no expectations! Both Cutie Honey and Natty are, well like the films name suggests, exactly that. Interesting cameos from what looked like Sakichi Sato, Boba and Suzuki Matsuo. Huge product placement and some great short scenes involving a cat.
Shake your head in disbelief, yet at the same time grin.
*** (3 stars)