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Atlas (2024)
Utter garbage
Written by the same AI that it vilifies. Girlboss action with a sci-fi twist that we've seen a million times already. The most recycled and cliché story you'll ever watch. Within the first 15 minutes, a mech suit gives you its pronouns.
I honestly can't with this garbage. The best I can say about it is that it was just about watchable and the effects are about average.
At 2 hours, it felt longer than Oppenheimer and Killers Of The Flower Moon, combined. What a slog. There are 200 other girlboss films that are better than this and I wouldn't give any of them more than 4 stars.
A strong, intelligent female lead and a cliché story are just about all it takes to make a big budget movie these days.
What Jennifer Did (2024)
Watch the JCS video instead
Astounding how a large studio with a substantial budget, can't do it better than one guy making YouTube videos. Look up the JCS video on youtube. It's around the same length but goes into this from the criminal psychology angle and absolutely nails it. Netflix tried too hard (as they often do) to ramp up the drama and cinematography and in turn essentially fall flat when it comes to actually giving you what you want from a story like this.
The story of this horrific murder is organically dramatic enough that the erie music is completely unnecessary and takes a lot away from the organic darkness of this case.
Essentially, it's too long for how much it leaves to assumption and too dramatic for how much it takes away from the incident.
Watch the JCS video instead.
Evil Things (2009)
Nah.
This is essentially paint by numbers found footage, but they didn't have all the colours. Bad acting, terrible story, super convenient plot progression and an ending that is so anti-climactic that it's almost an ironic climax. It's like they had half an idea that they wrote on the back of a receipt but they had to return the item that the receipt was for so filmed this from memory.
On a mildly positive note, it was slightly suspenseful at a few very rare points but that's me being very genrous.
I love found footage films for all of their faults and can usually find some charm in them but this is using the genre to cover up it's short comings.
You'd have to pay me to watch this again, and it wouldn't be cheap.
Snack Shack (2024)
A genuine surprise!
This was one of the best comedies I've seen in quite a long time. It really does feel like it threw away everything that films coming out in 2024 have to do, in terms of keeping everyone happy and just did it's own thing.
This doesn't feel rebellious or pandering at all. It isnt making a political statement, of any kind, against anything "woke" or trying to stay in a particular lane. It just tells its story the way it wants to tell it because they knew that this is the only way to be genuine.
It follows a typical formula of two friend's rise, until the inevitable conflict, before bringing them back together but it doesn't feel tired, it beams of nostalgia but also keeps things fresh.
There isn't anything unenjoyable about this film at all. I really liked it and will probably watch it again.
The only things I would say are that it does feel a little unnecessarily long at just under 2 hours. They could have easily trimmed 20 mins off this and some of the decisions made by some of the characters were clearly written to further the plot and felt a little jarring and convenient but other than that, I would highly reccomend this to anyone who misses the comedies of the 90s.
The Comedian's Guide to Survival (2016)
Ok
This wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. It was perfectly fine. I laughed once or twice but it wasn't bad or unfunny. The main thing that really dragged it down was the inclusion of non-actors in roles that should have been filled by actual actors. It was such a mixture of acting performances that it was jarring to watch. You put an actual actor like James Buckley next to someone who has never acted in their lives and it's like watching a bad audition. Then you have the fact that every American character is played by a British actor/comedian who just cannot do anything close to an American accent. It was all wrong and felt like there was a decent film buried in this mess of bad actors and bad accents. It was really let down by a good chunk of it's performances.
Army of One (2016)
A rare 1 star from me
Honestly I couldn't even get half way through this. I tried really hard but this is, by far, theost unbearable performance I have ever seen by any actor. I would only ever give a 1 star if I couldn't finish a film and I had to turn this one off before the half way mark. It probably wouldn't have been too bad if they director would have reined in Nicolas Cage a little but it's like they just wanted the most crazy Nic Cage performance possible to be able to sell this garbage. Fair enough if you like this but you can't say it's good. There are plenty of things I like that I know aren't good. Unfortunately there isn't much to like about this one.
Trash of the lowest degree.
Hubie Halloween (2020)
Almost unwatchable
I just about managed to get through this nonsensical, humour-free, vanity project. This was absolutely just a way for Adam Sandler to pay himself, his friends and his family. I didn't laugh or even smile once and it barely kept my attention. Adam Sandler is too old to be doing that stupid Billy Madison voice. I gave it 2 stars because I actually managed to finish it and it amused me beyond belief that they go away with even making this. I couldn't give it one star because it's just about better than Jack and Jill, which I didn't even manage to get half way through before turning it off.
They money used to make this absolute garbage would have been better spent on a fireworks or dynamite.
Griselda (2024)
Played it very safe
This was decent. Pretty good acting and filmed on a decent budget but they absolutely butchered the real story of this woman. They tried so hard to find some kind of humanity in this completely unredeemable woman that it took away from the story of how psychopathic and sociopathic the real Griselda Blanco actually was.
This is a really nice drama to watch but not much more. It's like diet Narcos that's been kept at room temperature. Sofia Vergara does a fairly good job with that she is given but the character is written as an animal backed into a corner, rather than the ruthless sociopath that was the real Griselda.
It was better than ok... But only just.
Gojira -1.0 (2023)
My favourite in a very long time. Maybe ever.
I loved this. It's like they finally found the perfect balance between the human drama and the monster fights that we all really want to see form a Godzilla film.
I'm as much of a fan of the most corny showa era as I am of the more serious original, the darker heisei and the outrageous milenium era films and there aren't many of the Godzilla movies that I can't find some charm in but it's fair to say there is often some kind of balance issue with the stories presented and I expect that from these films. However, Minus One absolutely destroyed this expectation and found the absolute perfect balance.
You could take godzilla out of this film completely and it would be a rivetting just for the journey of trauma and rebuilding that the main characters have to endure the addition of a monster antagonist/threat is just an added bonus.
I really don't want to say too much because it really needs to be seen but this is an amazing effort from a franchise that isn't best known for high effort output and has 100% set the bar for future titles.
Hollywood will never top this with any kind of budget. If this is what Japan can do with $15m, I'd love to see what they could do with a Hollywood budget. Would they even need it?
Rick and Morty: Air Force Wong (2023)
Better
This is continuing a better calibre of episode from episode one but it really does feel like the show has had a huge shake up.
It's almost as if they had a rule to not milk and reuse characters from previous episodes too much, prior to this season. They would drip feed cameos and jokes but they always made sure they didn't overdo things too much. This season looks to be doing the opposite in favour of fresh new ideas.
The relationship with the president has really run its course now and constantly harking back to therapy jokes feels beneath this show, then they bring back a character from numerous seasons past, that feels like a complete rehash with little new being said or impact to the overarching story.
I like that they're going full steam ahead but maybe try to keep some of what made the shows structure unique instead of trying to turn into The Simpsons.
Devs (2020)
Brilliant
I'm a huge Alex Garland fan and have been since I read The Beach when I was 15. Since then I've made a point of consuming everything he is involved with and have never been disappointed. That said, I was initially put off by the early low rating of Devs so I put it on the back burner (I wasn't ready to be disappointed yet). They I watched Men, which I absolutely hated so I quickly fired up Devs and it renewed my faith.
Devs is clever, stylish and darkly menacing, which is where Alex Garland really shines. Devs harks back to the the on-edge,technologically advanced nature of Ex Machina and the constant questioning of one's mortality and reality that came with his novel, The Coma, whilst also taking us on a fantastically futuristic and baffling sci-fi journey, similar to Annihilation.
Devs feels like a culmination of Garlands work and the only thing I feel is negative about this is that I believe he may have peaked. This is evident (to me, at least) with the project that followed Devs (Men (2022)).
Banshee (2013)
Wow
Sopranos levels of engagement with characters you just love to watch. It's trashy but it knows its trashy. The final season suffers from actor fatigue and budget restraints but this has to be one of the most addictively intriguing shows I've ever watched. Loved the characters and the overarching story so much that I genuinely didn't want it to end. I really respect any show that ends it's run when it's still on top of its own game but I really feel this would have benefitted from at least one more season.
I don't agree that this is a "guilty pleasure" as many people say because I would save that label for something with much less passion and class. This is a genuinely good, underrated show that deserves much much more attention.
If there were ever a show that deserves a movie spin off, it's this one.
Dopesick (2021)
Incredible
Engaging from minute one. The way they chose to tell this story, along with the sheer volume of important characters, could have seen this bomb as a convoluted and pretentious mess, as we see with so many ensemble pieces and stories told in non-chronological order. Dopesick, however, was handled masterfully and the cast each proved their worth in their respective roles without ever visibly attempting to outdo one another. I felt genuine emotions, from anger and empathy to complete shock and disbelief, even though, as a non-US citizen, I have no personal attachment to the subject matter.
Michael Keaton, Michael Stuhlbarg and Kaitlyn Dever absolutely knocked it out of the park, as did the rest of the cast but they really outdid themselves here.
I can't really say much without taking away from what should really be experienced but if you haven't seen this yet and it's on your list, make it a priority.
Rick and Morty: How Poopy Got His Poop Back (2023)
Something missing
It feels like something is missing and it has nothing to do with the voices. The voices are fine. Things change. It feels odd sometimes and it initially feels weird to hear the slight differences but it doesn't impact on the show. What does seem to be missing though, is the improvisational nature of the delivery, which the show has been built on from season 1. It has been fading over the last few seasons but it's completely gone now and it's clearly something we would only ever get from Justin Roiland. This isn't a terrible episode but it's a weak opener. They really needed to prove a point with this episode and they didn't do that. It feels like a mid-season filler episode, billed as some kind of comeback. Hopefully they can play to their strengths, going forward, rather than trying so hard to prove they don't need Justin Roiland to be a success.
Strays (2023)
Better than average
As "Not Good" as this film might be, it's equally not bad. If you give this a 2 star rating, I don't think you've ever seen a 2 star film. I was able to get through the whole thing, unlike something like Sausage Party. I laughed more than once, which is more than I can say for the majority of modern comedies and it didn't outstay it's welcome. Will Ferrell has clearly checked out over the years and doesn't care anymore but everyone else out in good performances. If you were majorly let down by this film then I would question what you expected. This is low brow comedy and it's far from clever but it doesn't always have to be. This type of comedy has a place in the world and as long as it is done with a certain percentage of quality then it's welcome.
Oppenheimer (2023)
Masterpiece isn't a strong enough word
I originally gave this a 9 because I struggle to give something a 10 but I honestly can't think of a single thing that could be improved or done better. The casting, the editing, the acting, the sound, the pacing... I can't think of a single thing wrong with any of these.
For anyone who is put off by the runtime, I watched Indiana Jones a week prior to seeing Oppenheimer and although Oppenheimer is just a little bit longer, Indiana Jones was an absolute endurance test to sit through, in comparison. Every second of Oppenheimer feels pivotal to the experience and I almost wasn't ready for it to end.
I don't want to say too much because a million other reviews have said it many times over but this is absolutely one of the most incredible film experiences you could ever hope to have and gives me huge faith that real film making isn't dead.
Summer of Sam (1999)
For me, this is almost perfect.
Personally, this is almost a perfect movie. Everything about this film is brilliant. The way it subverts the easy story of a serial killer, to build a story of a small community, around the backdrop of growin hysteria, at one of the most tumultuous times in the cities history, is brave to say the least. The fact they pulled it off as well as they did, is unbelievably impressive and it still holds up over 20 years later. The casting is ridiculously good, down to the most minor of characters and the editing (although now a staple of Spike Lee films) was absolutely unique at the time. He peaked with this film and I don't think he will ever top it.
I don't want to say more because if you havent seen it, why are you wasting your time reading this review?
Fast X (2023)
Stupid fun... Without the fun
This franchise used to be stupid yet fun, now there is no fun. You can just feel how much control Vin Diesel has and how invested he is in his character and image, which seems to be the basis of these films these days.
I can't bear how there are no consequences. Everyone who has ever died, comes back to life, everyone who was once bad is now good and no one can ever get one up on the absolute genius that is Vin Diesel.
Jason Mamoa does his best to kill off anything redeemable that this franchise had left by channeling the Bollywood rip off of Heath Ledgers Joker and fails in every single way. This franchise literally has nothing left and as long as Vin Diesel holds as much clout as he does, it will only get worse. I absolutely hate this film and anyone who has any form of intelligence should hate it too. I'm convinced that the only type of person who could genuinely like this trash, is the type of person who doesn't have a brain to switch off.
Scream VI (2023)
Weak and lame ending ruined what could have been pretty good
This film was shaping up to be good. It wasn't excellent, it wasn't the best in the franchise but it did everything right... That was up until the final 20 minutes where everything just went down the drain. It has to be the weakest and lamest ending to any "whodunit" slasher ever.
It had none of the commentary that scream 3 had, to justify such a whacky and lame killer. They essentially took the characters you care the least about, didn't bother to progress their characters and made them the killers.
Zero spoilers but if you want to work out who the killer is, look at who you care the absolute leaste about and that's who it is.
They also brought back one of the most forgettable legacy characters and made her an FBI agent who essentially does nothing.
Also congratulations to Courtney Cox for negotiating top billing and only having to be on screen for literally 5 minutes.
The action, suspense and the kills are all good. It's fairly inventive for what it is but the ending really drags it down.
Snowfall: The Struggle (2023)
I expected just a little more
Great final episode but not as good as I think it could (or should) have been. The time jumps left a let to the imagination, which could have been used more effectively. This felt like 2 parts of separate episodes, welded together. By all rights they should have done a 2 episode conclusion. The first episode ending right after Franklin realises Peaches spent all the money then the second episode starting 2 years later. But what do I know?
I've seen way worse series finales and maybe I just really didn't want to see Franklin become what he became but I genuinely feel that Snowfall as a series deserved something with just a little more substance for its final episode.
Yes they tied up many loose ends (like Louise and Oso) but it felt a little shoehorned in. These plot points would have covered in more depth over an extended period.
A little rushed and a little more shallow than the series deserved but still a solid 8/10 episode in a 9/10 show.
Wu-Tang: An American Saga: Criminology (2023)
Ruined
These episodes completely ruined a great series. This final season and wu tang, in general, deserve so much better than this "fictional within semi-fictional" storytelling. The show has always found a nice balance between what's real and what's dramatic interpretation but these individuals hyperfictional episodes have dragged this entire series down.
They clearly ran out of ideas and didn't know how to complete this story without resorting to phony, overly fictional story lines revolving around the more colourful members.
I would have preferred a very short season with a dead end than multiple fake stories within a fake story.
Whack.
Wu-Tang: An American Saga: Dirty Dancin' (2023)
Dirty deserved better than this
I can absolutely see what they were trying to do but the rendition of Shimmy Shimmy Ya at the end perfectly encapsulated this whole episode. The delivery by the actor came with about 50% of ODB's energy and was bland and unoriginal, which is essentially what the entire episode did to his legacy. They tried to be too clever and artistic but what they actually created was a bloated dream chapter in a much larger, more interesting story.
They could have done so much more with the story of ODB and picked from any number of chapters in his life to adapt but instead they focussed on this. It's far from bad but it's a huge shame.
The Forgiven (2021)
Basically amounts to nothing
Incredibly acted and looks very nice but it basically amounts to nothing and there is little in the way of transformation or progression, which is kind of the point of the whole story but really, all it is, is two stories running concurrently with nothing holding them together except the beginning of end of the film.
It wasn't as deep, sexy or dark as it clearly wanted to be.
Jessica Chastain puts in a top quality performance as usual but it can't save this film.
The ending aims to shock but you can see it coming from a mile off and they don't do what they should have done to make you empathise with the main character enough to care.
Snowfall: Charnel House (2023)
Too soon?
This was a good episode and if it were placed anywhere else in any other season, it would have been brilliant but for this to be episode 7 of 10 in the final season, felt like the season was winding down far too quickly. You can tell they are saving something big for the next 3 episodes but this felt slightly rushed and almost desperate to prepare for tying up lots of loose ends.
I can't see how they are going to draw the story out for 3 more hours but I hope the pull it off.
They left it in an interesting place with Louie basically holding all the cards after having her life destroyed in the previous episode but something didn't feel right with the pacing on this one.
Six Feet Under: Everyone's Waiting (2005)
Perfect
This is absolutely the perfect ending to any show, ever created. I haven't cried for around 7 years and before that it was 6 years but this episode broke me hard. I had no idea how emotionally invested in was until the last 10 minutes of this episode. It hit me so hard I cried for a good 20 mins. Then I stopped and started thinking about it all again and cried for another half hour.
I've never had any form of entertainment have such an impact on me. Even my actually life rarely has such an impact on my emotions.
I honestly can't think of a single way this could be improved or any way they could have done it better. Even 18 years after it first aired, it still holds up as, in my opinion, the best ending of any show I've ever seen.