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Reviews
American Kickboxer (1991)
The most presumptuous martial arts film ever....
American Kickboxer 1 (yes thats right 1) has to be the most presumptuous martial arts film ever....not happy enough to call it American kickboxer, they were so confident that they would have sequels they called it American kickboxer 1! not a bad film in fairness but I wouldn't say worthy of sequels, another generic kickboxer film from the 80's, fight scenes are pretty slow and there's not really much else to go on...except for a class corvette and equally class 80's hair cuts...4 thumbs up!...out of 10...also watch out for my film coming out this summer with Miramax...starring michael dudikoff...
"King of the American Kickboxer Ninja Kings 1: Battle for a sequel...or sequels"
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
if you like gay horror films you'll love this...
this is the gayest horror film I've ever seen...if you're into that kind of thing great! just a word of warning if you're not, get ready for a surprise ending and be ready to cover your eyes! I'll deny ever having seen this film if this goes to court...on a lighter note the sequels are better and 3 is actually quite good...there's a couple of good kills in this one though and the story is at least original, I can only imagine what the new "return to sleepaway camp" ending will be, if you like alan partridge then he'll already have given away the ending when he talked about the crying game to the 2 irish fellas...i.e. 2 fellas with eyebrows on their cheeks and badly tarmacked drives...in this country anyway...end ramble
Nu jing cha (1973)
2nd worst film ever...
this was the worst film I'd ever seen until I saw the film kickboxer king (read my review), as a big jackie chan fan I was very excited to find out about a film I'd never heard of before, and I got it as a new release for 5 quid! how could this be I asked myself (I like to talk to myself), well the reason was that it's a pure pile of crap! it is the most boring and false marketed film ever (except for kickboxer king as already stated) as another reviewer stated jackie has a huge false mole on his cheek for most of the movie, I say most because it's not always there or sometimes it's on the other cheek, I figured it was some sort of "magic mole" but that part of the plot never came into it unfortunately, that might have been interesting at least, also jackie is barely in the movie and has no decent fights, plus to make matters worse there was no sound on my version for 10 minutes near the end...not that it really matters as I'm sure they were just spouting on about "ang chang chong" and the likes...rubbish
Cube 2: Hypercube (2002)
boring and annoying....
after seeing the first movie I was looking forward to seeing the sequal and find out what the hypercube is. This move reeks of made for tv/DTV quality, the actors/characters are so annoying it's unbelieveable, the script really sucks too, it's nearly exactly the same as the first movie but far more predictable, why did they bother making this movie, they're idea of a 4th dimension/hypercube is just a load of crazy stuff and parallel universes, why did they bother? Sometimes I think people will make movies for no apparent reason.
Kickboxer King (1991)
Don't be fooled by this movie!! piece of crap
I rented this move tonight (thats right it was so bad I've immediately come here and registered so I could comment on it) after I saw the cover and read the back, it sounded pretty cool 2 kickboxers get involved in corrupt in match fixing, one of them wants to extend into further criminal activities, the other one wants out. The first guy ends up going to jail and in the end they fight to the death for a million dollars. I don't know what film they were previewing on the back of the box but this ain't exactly it. Firstly the guy on the cover/sleeve isn't even in the movie and I read this on the back of the box half way through the movie; "The image portrayed on this video sleeve has been created to represent the high quality of the programme within. The image portrayed does not appear on the programme" (or the actor). This was in the tiniest font possible at the very bottom of the sleeve back. Second, the kickboxing matches are basically boxing matches, I think I saw 2 in ring kicks in the whole movie. Third, they reuse footage from the opening match, in the final match. Fourth, the final match isn't a fight to the death as was stated on the back of the box. Fifth, they make a mistake with the synopsis on the back of the box, the character they say goes to jail isn't right, it's his friend who goes to jail. This is a cantonese piece of trash of a movie, it's not anything to do with american kickboxing and if I wasn't so lazy I would do something about it, they shouldnt be allowed trick people with false covers, speaking of false covers don't rent bikini cowgirls either, the girls on the cover aren't in the movie...