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Reviews
Beau Is Afraid (2023)
Wankfest
I wont say that Im a fan of Ari, but I am a fan of a24 so I gave this veteran director and one of my favorite actors film a chance. Good reviews abound what could go wrong? Jouaqin delivers on the confused and scared aspect of his character. Unfortunately the wandering trip like plot line induces a confusion even worse than his. I tried convincing myself one of these plots will grab me and make me care about the rest of the story. However they simply never lasted long enough or really related to each other directly enough to care about. Ari Aster will appeal to arthouse fans who like the play of color and HD shots basically compiled from classic spooky movies will still enjoy the cinematic aspect of it. Not for horror lovers, more for Ari Aster fans maybe?
Beau Is Afraid (2023)
Wankfest
I wont say that Im a fan of Ari, but I am a fan of a24 so I gave this veteran director and one of my favorite actors film a chance. Good reviews abound what could go wrong? Jouaqin delivers on the confused and scared aspect of his character. Unfortunately the wandering trip like plot line induces a confusion even worse than his. I tried convincing myself one of these plots will grab me and make me care about the rest of the story. However they simply never lasted long enough or really related to each other directly enough to care about. Ari Aster will appeal to arthouse fans who like the play of color and HD shots basically compiled from classic spooky movies will still enjoy the cinematic aspect of it. Not for horror lovers, more for Ari Aster fans maybe?
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
What a joke
I thought Cameron was better than fake reviews!! I think I was the only one still awake in my theatr when the movie ended. Entire acts are wasted on fruitless world building. Neytiri exists purely as a plot device not Jakes wife and Jake is too boring to carry the story. This is not avatar 2 its Jake Sullys Kids get into antics. Physics decide when they want to exist or not. Too many questions and no answers. The 3D version looked so bad it was like watching videogame cutscenes. I expected at least an improvement in the CG department after 13 years but there was zero. Cameron has given up, and jumped the shark.
The Batman (2022)
The time of real movie reviews is long gone
This movie felt like the director wrote a script he was passionate about for another movie, then got hired for this and ham fisted all of his favorite details and actors in where they dont belong. Battinson is fine but gets almost no screentime. No character dev whatsoever. Nothing has any stakes because no character is worth caring about, besides the underutilized penguin and falconi. If I was farrel and put all that makeup on for a throwaway role like this while some hack plays the main villain Id be genuinely taking a look at my life. Main villain was terrible and the surprise villain at the end was ten times cringier.
Major Crimes (2012)
Are they for real?
Mary you did wonderfully but no.....just.....no. Like rubbing salt into a wound seeing more of Rayder after the removal of Brenda. There are few less enjoyable to watch characters on tv. She plays the bad guy so well, its unshakable and feels like a real foist into this show. Provenza got robbed just sayin!
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
You should be embarrassed if you think this is a 10
But it was a lot of fun! You find yourself sick of Tom Hollands peter parker and desperate to see more of the previous guys but you just dont get it, the villians were also very poorly utilized, spending any time away from spiderman, meant we had no idea what they were up to. Also aunt May saying the line was such barf. The older spider men create that nostalgic feeling and get you hyped for the final battle, but the battle falls flat and favors the random sidekick formula as marvel always does. For me th most difficult thing was seeing serious actors playing serious villans in this marvel universe. Something about it just didnt work. The nostalgia made for a great ride but the storyline of the MCU spidey was far too thin to support anything but that. Zendaya seems like a nice gal, but her acting across from Tom is flatter than the first soda ever made would be if it were still in a cup today. Number one flaw is the CGI is horrendous. For the leading user of CGI the MCU is embarassingly bad at making things not look like cartoons. They get an 8 for milking nostalgia. Otherwise the storyline is really just awful and unbelievable for a Spider-Man flick.
Shameless: Can I Have a Mother (2012)
Whenever you see an unusually high rating!
Watch the episode. The show is lost and didnt know what to do so they bought a bunch of reviews and added a character nobody cares about while cutting a character that was actually interesting. Characters all of a sudden have completely different personalities and it only takes away from what made season 1 great.
Candyman (2021)
Starts off awesome.
The movie starts off strong with interesting characters, and some fresh and talented faces to see makes you think youre in for a good ride. The movie falls apart after about 30 minutes. Murders go seemingly unnoticed by the public and then the whole movie attempts to m night shyamalam itself but fails miserably. I dont know why the candyman looked like cgi as well. Awful film from a great director.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Just awful
Bill and Ted arent even in most of the flick. It focuses on different characters that nobody cares about. This has none of the heart or soul of the original. Garbage. Anyone rating this highly are the reason movies are so bad now.
Mare of Easttown (2021)
What a JOKE
This is season 3 of True Detective with zero likable characters. There was no fun. No entertainment. No reason to keep watching besides already having invested time in it. Anyone rating this above a 3 is a joke reviewer.
Old (2021)
Slow but entertaining
Just like I said. Not his best work and not his best twist ever but still a much better movie than the standard current releases. This made marvel movies look like the back of a 99 restaurant kids menu. Seeing it once was enough.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Great acting, better nudity
The 10s are ridiculous. It was good. Even Lynch himself wouldnt give this a 10. The story is wandering and starts off very mysterious and intriguing. That is all very quickly traded for schlocky scenes about the seedy side of making movies and 50s nostalgia. The only common thread is the fantastic nude scenes. Any mystery you want solved devolves into boring scenes about the others involved rather than the main characters we are introduced to. The actors in this film deserve the most praise. They kept things interesting and played the heck out of these roles. Good movie, not great. Needed to make a bit more sense to be great. Never take someone, who says you need multiple watches to understand something, seriously. That is not what makes a movie great and to insist that is insulting to the art.
Army of the Dead (2021)
Not sure this was real life.
Netflix has been releasing terrible movies and tv shows for so long now that its become a genre of its own. This movie embodies that genre. Get big names and sideline them while simultaneously just stealing every plot line from british teen tv in the 2000s. Its garbage. Hollywood is dead.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
Absolutely terrible
This one was sold as a big budget, big name movie. It was worse than a Netflix original. Not one moment was fun to watch. At one point the main character puts on a parachute and everyone gets super excited as she climbs into the back of an oversized truck. We expect her to jump off a cliff or something epic. She pulls the chute while theyre going about 30 on a back road and she lazily drifts to the ground after a garbage cgi version of her spins slowly off the road. That was a good metaphor for the whole movie. Even the fake explosions sucked. Why did they do this to Aidan Gillan too? He is a legend and they even made him look like a joke. Stop giving your money to hollywood. Its dead.
Lost (2004)
Soap opera on drugs
This is the worst show Ive ever seen. Its like a drs office waiting room show. Theres no likable characters, the exposition is abysmal, writing cheesy. It like a terrible mainstream soap opera. If you dont believe me watch the first season. There arent two related scenes in the entire show. Just a desert island clip show w drama.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
Not as advertised
We never get what we really want here and its very disappointing. Action sequences are pretty good up until the plot turns frustrating. Whatever studio did the cg for Kong apparently didnt do the cg for this movie bc it was quite bad. Having been excited to see the same level of impressive visuals I was really bummed. Still had fun but they missed a big opportunity with this one.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Not related to the first movie at all
Not sure who's idea this was but it was legitimately terrible. Great talent wasted all around. Zero nudity. Zero relationship with the first one. Unwatchable dont bother. Eddies career is officially over.
Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)
Solid film.
Big movie attitude, telling a story that wants to be heard. Not enough focus on character development leaves you wanting but the story itself is interesting enough to carry you til the end. Doesnt fill the shoes it acts like it will as the story wanders a bit and doesnt cover things that are more interesting to viewers. I would say its worth a watch and the acting is great.
WandaVision: Don't Touch That Dial (2021)
Who is reviewing these so high?
Superheros but extremely boring and stylized to the period so much that it becomes quickly annoying.
The Little Things (2021)
This movie made me think.
In a time where movies havent made me think or feel for a long time this one did. Although some factors were cheap the rest was original. On a big screen it would have been just awesome. Its all bittersweet and thats the point.
The Family Stone (2005)
Weird reviews here.
So on one end you have great reviews by mostly middle aged women and then you have more middle aged women reviewing poorly because the family was mean to SJP. Her character sucked and you were supposed to hate her so I completely disagree. That doesnt mean the movie was any good though. Random 2000s chick flic crap. Unbelievable at every turn and after about halfway someone is crying hard about every two minutes and they just give up on even trying to tell a story.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 16: The Rescue (2020)
Completely weak
Really just a continuation of the non linear random events that occur. Cheap final scene. These reviews are extremely biased landing this near a 10. Its sad because when stuff that isn't quality gets such a big thumbs up from so many, more low quality content just like it will be made. Its how hollywood got where it is. Watch any of the movies that made us series on netflix and youll see how different the making of a classic original story is from wht happens today.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 15: The Believer (2020)
Are these reviews real?
Anyone actually trying to follow this show right now would not be reviewing it with tens and nines. Each episode is more of a which character can we feature far more than the mando than it is a mandalorian story anymore. SW is dead.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 13: The Jedi (2020)
Good visuals, shallow fan service.
This season has once again gone nowhere in many more than 12 parsecs. Cool shots and action but pretty weak and strange exposition, extremely weak script. These reviews are nuts! The season has been far less about mando and The kid and continues that trend.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 11: The Heiress (2020)
Not a tv show anymore
Just a collection of fan service for the prequel memes sub reddit. There is some sort of fascination for the clone wars tv show (also mediocre) and if anything in this show refers to clone wars everyone loses their mind. Mando for the third episode in a row proves he's no longer got any skill as a bounty hunter and needs to have his life saved by strangers who just happen to show up just as he's about to die. Get some standards please people this is embarrassing. You're all cheering on a 35 minute episode that I'm paying a subscription fee for. Any other type of product and you'd ask for your money back.