chaugnurfaugn-269-83012 Reviews

Resolution (III) (2012)

Brilliant but probably too subtle for fans brought up on Saw and Grave Encounters

[9/10 · 4 March 2014]

Resolution is a multi-layered chiller with hidden depths and a quirky storyline.

The central premise revolves around Michael (Peter Cilella) and wayward but lovable rogue Chris (Vinny Curran). Once best buddies, Chris is now a self-destructive meth addict and Michael has decided to stage an intervention by chaining up Chris and forcing him through cold turkey.

Now, if this were standard Hollywood fare we'd have two drinking buddies with their girlfriends staying at a cabin in the woods. Instead, Resolution sets up a believable situation and one in which the protagonists are forced to stick around.

The chills are subtle. Conversations between Chris and Mike are realistic, at times amusing, but mostly just glimpses into a story to which most of us can relate. The one time golden boy turned drug addict and the path of chaos and disappointment he leaves in his wake. The audience is never shown this path, but the interplay between Chris and Mike and Mike's obvious love for his friend are profound enough to fill in the blanks.

Other reviewers have said this is not a horror. I'd be inclined to agree, despite the hugely unfair comments and low ratings accompanying those other reviews (with which I certainly do not agree). Resolution is strange, creepy and unnerving at points, but never horrific and rarely frightening. It is clever and it will grip you from beginning to end, despite the ambling nature of the script, Chris's mostly sedentary role and Mike's often infuriatingly laid back personality.

Unlike many 'clever' stories, Resolution is in no way self- congratulatory. There's nothing trite about the way the film unfolds and that element of 'hipster cool' so often prevalent in movies that deliberately shirk cookie-cutter modes of filming and storytelling is mercifully absent. This, of course, is dangerous for any film maker as it shirks not only the accepted Hollywood blueprint for 'how to make a movie successful' it is also uncertain about its target audience. Resolution is one of those rare movies: a film that just wants to tell a story. And herein I think is one of the most sublimely subtle sub-texts of the entire thing.

Because ultimately Resolution is an exploration of equilibrium, a film maker's eye-view of how a story unfolds and how bucking the trend might lead to divided opinions. In one of the story's creepier moments one character states that when he looks into a mirror he sees an infinity of moments, all with a beginning, middle and end. The essence of good storytelling is to have equilibrium (beginning), equilibrium broken (middle) and equilibrium restored (end). The resolution of the movie title, I think, is as much a commentary on the way the film is put together as much as it alludes to the recorded material within the film.

It's unfortunate that such neatly realised ideas don't automatically turn film makers into billionaires. If there were any justice in the world, this would be the case. But unfortunately what a modern paying audience wants is thrills and spills, not subtle interplay, dialogue and sub-text. Hence, I imagine, the divided opinion in reviews and the film's poor showing at the box office.

Ultimately I wish audiences were a little more attentive and open to movies like Resolution, but the majority are not and that makes this something of an indulgence on the part of directors/writer team Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead. Are they guilty of being a little too self indulgent? No. I don't think so. Could they have injected a little more life into the story? Yes, possibly. But I don't think the result would necessarily be more satisfying - just different, and more like the kind of thing we are, by now, used to seeing in the found footage genre.

I can't possibly close my review without mentioning the ending which, given the name of the film and the identified sub-text, had to be something special. Well, the jury's out. I probably need to watch the whole thing over and pay more attention this time to what's going on behind the scenes and between the lines, but on the face of it the ending felt like a cheat and that's disappointing.

In any case, I can't wait to see more from Benson and Moorhead and Zach Galiafinakis lookalike Vinny Curran and Greg Kinnear lookalike Peter Cilella (seriously, were those two separated at birth or what?)

The Conspiracy (2012)

An analogy for truth?

[10/10 · 21 February 2014]

Some analogies are so subtle you'll be unconscious before the hammer falls on your head. This is one such analogy.

Here we see a 'mockumentary' masquerading as a documentary which is mistaken in many reviews as a satirical, tongue-in-cheek poke at the realm of the 'conspirotard' while giving the average movie goer a bit of fun.

No. The average 'conspirotard' will recognize the truth within the film, not just in the subject matter which connects almost brazenly with the idea of the Illuminati but with characters such as Alex Jones who, while never mentioned in the credits, is without doubt the inspiration behind many of the film's most memorable scenes.

The infiltration of 'The Hunt' is a parallel of Jones's infiltration of the Bohemian Club, with the same hidden camera footage feel and the same sense of dangerous insider revelations (the reality thankfully falling short of the gruesome fiction presented in the film).

The following of the film-makers by a mysterious black pick up is another parallel from the life of Jones whose initial investigations of the Bilderberg Group saw his film crew followed in a virtually identical scene as they fled the hotel where the Group were meeting.

As The Conspiracy suggests, there is a direct parallel to be drawn between the fine line of fiction and that of reality. Much of the footage is taken from speeches made by real politicians, even Presidents. Kennedy's poignant warning about secret societies and the globalist cabal whose influence is both insidious and merciless has never sounded so profound, particularly dubbed, as it is, over the footage of Kennedy's own assassination, even as he states categorically that "dissenters will be silenced."

In the end this will reach a limited audience and half of that audience will mistake what they're seeing for a form of entertainment with no serious connotation. This is a sad fact of our time, and yet, there is a second quote from the movie that perhaps forgives the ignorant their pleasure.

If a secret group are in fact running world affairs, then they have always done so. And they will always continue to do so.

This is the harsh truth presented by The Conspiracy which conspiracy advocates will despise and those who think of conspiracy as nothing more than a buzz-phrase of the modern age will mistake for clever character motivation.

But the truth is that the globalists are now firmly in charge and they are, as the film daringly portrays, utterly convinced of their strange religions.

Thus I grant this film the full 10 out of 10. Partly because it presumes to go where no other film dares to tread, but also because the subtleties are so glaringly underwritten as to be exquisitely sublime.

Whether you believe the world is in the grip of powers beyond reckoning or in peril of the insane preachings of conspiracy theorists, The Conspiracy offers something to entertain every level of tourist.

Life of Pi (2012)

Like being mugged by a concert pianist. Visually stunning but culturally questionable.

[4/10 · 30 April 2013]

I thought I would review this title for the release of Life of Pi on DVD and blu-ray in the UK.

As with all book to movie adaptations the inevitable comparisons will be made. As I've mentioned in other reviews, I feel this is pointless. The two mediums are so different and loaded with their own workable protocols that, in my view, both should be viewed as separate entities based on the same root mythology - the difference, to pluck an analogy from the air, between the bible and Charlton Heston's Ten Commandments. For this reason, I find no flaw between the film and book versions of Life of Pi. This is a review specifically of the film.

Visually, LoP is as near to perfection as a moving picture is likely to come, a treat for the eyes and senses in almost every scene. The only comparably stunning visual treat currently able to match LoP is Rise of the Guardians, an animation but also inspired by the epic visualisations of novel writers and an equal in terms of imagination, spark and wit.

Character development is ponderous but fun. The retrospective narration has flavours of Forrest Gump while the juxtaposition of modern style and epic Indian colour with old world vibrancy add greatly to the establishing scenes. Irrfan Khan is a tour de force as the self possessed guru of Pi's elder-self and brings both pathos and realism to an otherwise textbook cast of caricatures (Rafe Spall's skeptical hipster is an off-the-shelf model, fast becoming a tiresome cliché, while the skinny wild-haired Indian boy made popular in Slumdog still seems appealing enough to sell seats to bums but may also be reaching its use-by-date).

On a core level, none of this matters particularly in terms of the story. The same tale could be told on a shoe-string budget, though the CGI sugar coating does wonders in tipping off-guard the casual viewer.

Because at its root, Pi is a cynical and oft bitter story about withdrawal. The central character is a fantasist and his tendency to embrace the irrational over logic is, nestled secretly in the bosom of the film where it rarely shows its face without a veil of mystery (cowardly really), the heart of the film's message to its audience.

Pi is an atheist grandstand for a contemporary audience weened on the outspoken repetitions of modern anti-theists, an opening movement fuelled by the despicable acts of fundamentalism and misguided far right theism. It panders to the popular, but, at the expense of the integrity and purpose of its characters, the picture it paints is surprisingly bleak, smeared as it is in the colour, light and spectacle of religious iconography.

The grand majority of the film sets the scene not for some startling revelation about the existence of God, as determined by its main protagonist's early suggestions, but in order to paint a sorry picture of a disillusioned child scrabbling through his imagination in an effort to impress the cold, robotic facade of the modern day mind.

Pi's choice of religion (and he chooses many) is irrelevant come the story's conclusion. Faith has nothing to do with god, spirituality, personal inner-revelations or esoteric connection with eldritch systems of belief and everything to do with choosing that which fires the imagination more than the cruel and the mundane. In short, faith is a cop-out, a crutch upon which the weak and pathetic are wont to lean.

Bolstering the core theme is the scientific undertone of pi itself, an inescapable aspect of our hero's personality and name. The rational, as Pi's obnoxious father is keen to point out across the dinner table, is worthwhile - all else is mere distraction.

Mama (I) (2013)

Standard horror with an underlying flair that never quite gets off the ground.

[7/10 · 9 February 2013]

Unlike some other reviewers this didn't completely blow me away. Certainly there were beautiful elements and disturbing imagery, but overall I felt there was too much scary movie and too little focus on the subtext.

In a nutshell, I felt this was a film unsure of its own feet. It wanted to be a dark and atmospheric exploration of the ghost genre; something like Session 9 perhaps. Instead there was too much reliance on established scare tactics, what I call popcorn-pleasers as they satisfy the status quo cinema-goer but are simultaneously shallow, indicative of lazy direction and script. The best scares are those insidious, ongoing and creepy horrors that gradually drag you into the movie universe and leave you there with nowhere to run. That takes effort and talent, but neither were evident in Mama.

There are many clichés too. The Japanese style is clearly an influence, but these days that's a tired reference point. Visual effects were stunning with some interesting techniques but again too reminiscent of films like The Ring.

Characterisation was similarly lazy, little to no effort made to flesh out the initial cardboard cut out personalities of the 'rock chick' girlfriend and the 'cool uncle', though most of the players did a sterling job with the material available, particularly the child actors. Not so Daniel Kash who, apparently believing he was in a Hammer horror, hammed it up considerably.

Overall, an entertaining film but ultimately disappointing when it fails to deliver on the promise of the first half hour and rambles off into familiar territory. Worth a watch, but not the epic classic other reviewers are suggesting.

In Time (2011)

A topical commentary on the nature of modern global economics

[8/10 · 16 July 2012]

A unique social critique on the current economic crisis, seen from the perspective of both the super rich and the super poor, with no particular resolution on either side of the coin, but plenty of spills and thrills in the process of toying with the metaphor.

In the future, time is currency and when your time runs out, you die. In order for this to work a dystopian federation of zones house the various classes, ranging from poverty stricken ghettos where people live each day as if it were their last (literally) to the mecca of the rich and powerful where possession of hundreds, maybe even thousands of years of lovely long life are the norm.

In reality, it wouldn't work, of course. But it's important, going into this film, to understand the importance of the analogy being made. The dystopia is our own world, rendered in a way we can understand without delving into the mind numbing complexities of global economic logistics. The time-as-currency idea allows director and writer Andrew Niccols to explore the effects of inflation, derivative bloating and hoarding of wealth to show how such concepts affect everyday folk in real life.

The lack of any solid resolution is understandable. There really is no resolution, either within the fictional world of Niccol's screenplay or our own ailing international community where pieces of paper create the same miseries as Timberlake and his fellow bottom feeders are forced to suffer.

Breaking the loop is no solution. The loop describes itself. Pumping our own economy with more cash only increases the problems we face. The problem is not the paper currency, any more than the problem within the fictional In Time world is lifespan. There is plenty of both to go round. The problem is management of a system, choices that are not just difficult but impossible to make from a human standpoint and ethically beyond any decision maker save the cold and cruel logic of a computer.

In Time shows the paranoid, guarded and insular lifestyles of the super rich where wealth is relative to the price of comfort and the comfort wealth affords is undermined by fear of losing that wealth. In turn it shows us the endless struggle of the have-nots, tempered by the idea that suffering and hardship may actually define the experience of living. Something the super rich cannot enjoy within their ivory tower.

Seen from the confusing perspective of the 'Time Keepers', quassi-cops charged with moderating the distribution of life-span, are themselves beset by their own subjective humanity. Missing from the equation, then, and barely explored or even touched upon by Niccol, is the presence of the technology and science that ensures the continuation of the system by sidestepping subjectivity and determining who lives, dies, suffers or lives in comfort without much care for the human condition. This is the only aspect missing, in my opinion, but doesn't reduce the quality either of the movie nor the message Niccol is trying to express. That the system we use to manage the human experience is, in itself, inhuman.

Real Steel (2011)

Lacklustre schmaltz with Senior Spielbergo's obvious influence

[3/10 · 23 June 2012]

This is a clear case of trying to pander to too many demographics at the same time, or shooting for too many targets. A robot film for the guys, a weepy modern remake of The Champ for the girls. But no. It doesn't work like that because the tears, feelings and relationship subtexts will alienate the guys and the endless violence will bore the ladies.

Chick flicks and macho action films are not cojoined twins, no matter how much we wish they were, and while the modern world loves a politically correct idea like girls who love fighting and men who love ponies, in reality each sex invariably falls back on their comfortable clichés. Clichés for a reason. It might not make the post-modernists happy but men and women tick in different places and at different paces. Which makes Real Steel one whole heap of a confusing mess.

First there's Hugh Jackman as the lady's favourite (see Australia) and the man's hero (see Wolverine). Perfect for the androgynous role of pathetic macho ex-boxer wild card romantic roboteer. Then there's the muscular chick from Lost as the owner of a boxing gym. Frankly I'm surprised they didn't plaster her in jailhouse tats and shave her head, but then again the ladies like a bit of glamour with their love interest. We learned a lot from GI Jane didn't we Hollywood.

The robots are part Anime part Iron Giant and, bar the prevailing champion bot 'Zeus', seem ill-conceived and boring. We've seen better and with more imagination in recent years for these guys to make so much as a dent in the panel of memorable robotic CGI. D- definitely must try harder.

On top of the confusion, there's the usual repulsive Spielbergian formula. Orphan kid, doe-eyed love interest, themes of redemption, family love, decisions of the heart and so on and so forth. It's all rather wearisome at this point in the second decade of the 21st century and frankly I'll be glad when the old school moguls retire their typewriters and we can see something new.

Chronicle (2012)

Cloverfield without Godzilla and the feel of reality

[7/10 · 16 June 2012]

The benefit of the found footage genre, and one that director Josh Trank exploits here to the absolute limit of the envelope, is that where special effects and CGI look cheesy on a big budget they look impressive and expensive on a small one. Wobbly angles, quick cut-aways as the action explodes and vague, indistinct long shots combine well. The photo-realism of the hand held camera juxtaposed with the kind of jaw-dropping FX once the sole reserve of James Cameron really make Chronicle a movie worth watching.

Unfortunately the story is nothing new, nor complex in its execution. Akira did it better and with more pathos, atmosphere and originality back in the early 90s. It's a new spin on an old idea, but brings the concept to a new audience, which is never a bad thing. It doesn't deliver in terms of depth but the shallow fun to be had before things escalate to apocalyptic levels is certainly and undeniably entertaining.

A sequel would be interesting, if not compulsory.

The Skeptic (2009)

Alternate Ending

[8/10 · 23 May 2012]

There are already plenty of reviews for this film that perfectly sum up the entire experience. A great movie, fantastic development, truly creepy atmospherics and psychological horror but a truly horrible ending.

So instead of give my opinion of the movie, I'd like to present everyone who watched it and was deflated by the last scene with The Alternative Ending To Skeptic (The Haunting of Bryan Becket), written and produced by David Sharrock, budget zero. You may not like it, but it's my attempt to spice things up and give that last scene some bazoom instead of the reality which is something of a flacid wither.

First a recap. Spoilers here, so if you haven't watched this movie, stop reading right now. I mean it. Look away. Go watch the real thing then come back and get the alternative ending, because you're going to want it.

Bryan Becket (Tim Daly) is a skeptic. He doesn't believe in anything and follows the basic rules of skepticism. He has a pretty good bullsh*t radar and knows good science from bad science. He's a lawyer, so logic and a sound ability to analyze any given situation are strong points for him.

When his aunt dies, Bryan is typically candid about his feelings. He doesn't have any. But he's thrilled that his aunt's death means he'll inherit an enormous Gothic mansion.

Things are not going great between Bryan and his wife Robin so Bryan announces a trial separation (much to Robin's dismay) and moves into his aunt's house. When good buddy and business partner Sully (Tom Arnold) reveals that the aunt had a will and that the house has been left to a paranormal investigator working at the local college, Bryan is understandably miffed and goes in search of said professor. Their first meeting isn't particularly affable, but when Bryan starts seeing things in the house he seeks the professor's advice and discovers that the prof is just a big a skeptic as Bryan himself purports to be. For the rest, go watch the movie.

The alternative final scene (relies on certain previous scenes being changed a bit. Namely that Cassie looks in the closet in her last scene before the end and that the Sully/Bryan scene doesn't take place in court near the end...

"Cassie?" shouts Bryan. "Where are you?" He rings her mobile and, to his surprise, hears a ringing sound coming from under the blankets of the bed next to him. He pulls the covers back slowly to reveal Cassie's phone.

"What the?" Bryan picks up the phone and examines it with a puzzled frown. His eyes move across the room to crucifix closet - you know, the place his mother used to lock him for days at a time. He steps toward the door and puts his hand on the handle. Turns handle. Door creaks open. Flash of blood everywhere in the shadows. Blood on the notes, on the walls, on the statue of Mary.

Flashback to Robin frowning at the closet door and heading over to open it as Bryan cowers behind his son. She screams, hands flying to her face. Cut to Bryan covered in blood, doing something on the floor. Cut to Bryan dragging the bodies into the closet 'ok mother? Can I go now?' Flashback to Sully scaring the sh*t out of everyone with his mask routine. But this time Bryan isn't laughing. Cut to Bryan dragging an unconscious Sully upstairs. Cut to Bryan opening the closet door and dragging Sully inside. Cut to Sully opening his eyes and screaming.

Flashback to priest coming to visit and getting same treatment. Cut to Bryan having nice breakfast with Cassie and leaving, but then returning as she's peeking into the closet, looming up behind her. She screams at what she sees then Bryan hits her across the back of her head.

Next scene: Bryan in the basement standing over the trunk. Lifts it slowly to reveal black bags, bloodied. A hand sticks out of one - Cassie's. He sobs as he looks up. A shadow cross his face. A doll shaped shadow, floating in the air. "Mother?" Whispers: "Bryan." Cut to credits.

Welcome to the Jungle (2007 Video)

Harrowing but less bloodthirsty than its obvious inspiration, Cannibal Holocaust

[7/10 · 22 May 2012]

American beauties Mandi and Colby and their party-animal friends, Mikey and Australian Bijou, head out to remote New Guinea in search of Michael Rockefeller who went missing in 1961, presumed dead. Sightings of a bearded old white man travelling with natives deep in uncharted territories have the intrepid foursome fired up, so off they go with little more than the most rudimentary understanding of the trouble they could get into.

Much has been made of the similarities between this and Cannibal Holocaust or Blair Witch. I've seen Cannibal Holocaust and agree that there are similarities, not least one particular grizzly scene. But I don't necessarily agree that this renders the entire movie contemptible. What Cannibal Holocaust lacked (slick production values, a watchable cast and character development) Welcome to the Jungle provides. Other than the fact that this is a 'lost tape' genre, wherein the entire film plays out through the lens of a hand-held video camera, is the only thing that marks it out as comparable to Blair Witch. The lost tape genre is still a trope rather than a cliché and there are countless other examples that play more accurately to the original format (ie. hauntings, paranormal etc).

Welcome to the Jungle scared me a lot more than Cannibal Holocaust, which, frankly, I just found disgusting. I'm not a hardcore fan of gore or shockers made for the sake of shocking, but felt I needed to watch CH simply because of the infamy of the film, the pride I take in knowing the horror genre inside out and being able to post knowledgeable reviews. I also watched Human Centipedes 1 and 2 for the same reason, but that's another story!

There were a few issues. The end was confusing and a little too sudden. And there were several instances of 'horror movie victim mentality' wherein the cast behaved not as rational and terrified human beings in a perilous situation but as horror movie protagonists walking obligingly to their doom just so we can watch it happen. Otherwise, this was an enjoyable and nerve rattling ride. The juxtaposition of serious and dedicated Mandi/Colby vs hedonist joy-riders Bijou/Mikey was particularly horrifying to watch. I found myself firmly in the shoes of Colby, which was not a nice experience.

Generally a more mainstream and viewer-friendly attempt at the cannibal horror and a brave mix of sub-genres.

Vlog (I) (2008)

Explicit but intelligent low budget slasher

[7/10 · 20 May 2012]

Vlogger Brooke Marks (played by Brooke Marks) posts the shallow events of her vapid lifestyle for internet voyeurs to enjoy, the majority of her posts centering around her love life with a succession of boyfriends. After receiving a mysterious recording directing her to a website, Brooke witnesses a series of video clips showing her friends being murdered. Naturally, Brooke fears for her life and goes to the cops.

Previous reviewers have complained that the character of Brooke is vapid and vacuous and, therefore, unlikeable. Those reviewers, I feel, have missed an important point. Vlog is a movie about voyeurism and is subject driven rather than character driven. We are meant to find Brooke distasteful. Her dismissive arrogance, particularly around men, is repugnant, particularly if you're a man. And yet there is a commentary here on the nature of the modern male and, when we see it from a female point of view, the portrayal is not complimentary.

When Brooke undertakes an experiment in a bar, using her cleavage and nothing else to secure a sexual partner before he even has a chance to get to know her, we see how Brooke finds herself objectified and somewhat mystified in the process. Undoubtedly she knows how to use her voluptuous charms to get what she wants (her opening gambit is delivered in nothing but bra and panties) but she lacks any real understanding as to why men find her so irresistible.

Men are a mystery to Brooke. Her amusing observations about men creating fake accounts as females on social networking sites then proclaiming to be lesbian in order to engage in cybersex with one another is wry, but telling. While Brooke recognises that she desires the opposite sex, men are ugly to her and their behaviour worthy of contempt, though her contempt comes with a perplexed smile.

This is the crux of Vlog, and there are some neat tricks employed to drive the point home. The gore is actually contextually appropriate for once. We, the audience, are drawn into the theme by finding ourselves witness to some extremely brutal and explicit gore. Did you come here for the blood and guts and shots of Brooke scantily dressed? If so, stay for the subtext. You are now the kind of voyeur Brooke finds so compelling. You mystify her, and yet she needs you somehow. The relationship between Brooke and her audience is dysfunctional at its root and this, of course, is the reason she eventually finds herself in deep trouble.

Unfortunately, production values are fairly low and too much is made of the final twist, which you'll see coming a mile off. The twist is also unnecessary in my view and doesn't particularly add to the movie, nor adequately answer the questions it raises. That said, overall I enjoyed this production (though I had to cover my eyes at points - gore isn't really my bag).

Darkening Sky (2010)

Pedestrian and predictable but not altogether horrible

[5/10 · 16 May 2012]

Rider Strong plays Eric Rainer, a weird and sullen individual who seems to live with his girlfriend and appears to be involved in some kind of ongoing research into UFOlogy, abductions and alien encounters.

When his girlfriend disappears one night, Rainer teams up with 'goth girl next door' Beth (eye candy Danielle Keaton sporting a very annoying fringe) the niece of Rainer's neighbour, Harold, and learns that Beth's boyfriend has also disappeared. Like Rainer, her boyfriend had a scar on his stomach and suffered from strange nightly migraines.

Beth's intense interest in Rainer raises his suspicions and he becomes increasingly paranoid, as do we as flies on the wall in his road accident of a life.

Hard to describe much else without dropping some spoilers since this film is reliant upon the keeps-you-guessing format. Unfortunately the coming plot twists and surprises are far from unpredictable and if you're awake at all while you're watching, you'll probably guess where the story is going long before it gets there.

There's a pedestrian quality to Darkening Sky that tested my patience. Director Victor Bornia is clearly a fan of the dramatic silence and pre-amble, but really the characters are too shallow and lack the charisma essential when presenting quiet, sullen personalities as protagonists.

Production value is medium rare and the sets, special effects and makeup feel and look cheap. Acting from the youthful cast is stilted and a little forced, but nothing you wouldn't expect from ex members of Disney-esque teen dramas like 90210 and Boy Meets World. Performances from the older cast are frankly terrible for a medium budget production. Charley Rossman inappropriately hams it up as Raimer's 'King of the Hill' type neighbour and Suzanne Ford is so unsubtle as Raimer's college professor that she pretty much gives the entire plot away with the few lines that she has.

Overall an average movie that will probably draw viewers who like UFO/alien abduction thrillers but ultimately leave them disappointed.

Kill Katie Malone (2010)

A good premise wasted on yet another teen horror flick

[4/10 · 16 May 2012]

Prior to actually switching on the movie, this had promise. The premise that somebody might buy a ghost on eBay (or the copyright friendly film version of YouBid) interested me and I was eager to see how the story unfolded.

Unfortunately, a promising idea has been sold out to the tune of yet another college/teen horror thriller where a bunch of attractive American teenagers spend half the film running around a college or dorm from some kind of terrifying something that wants to kill them. Feel free to replace terrifying something with 'murderous ghost', 'axe wielding maniac', 'Freddy Kreuger' or whatever. It doesn't matter. The play out is the same and we've all seen it a million times before.

Direction is typically brash and predictable, akin to an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with less camp. Our protagonists make all the usual horror movie victim mistakes and the haphazard introduction of the haunting is far too over-the-top. Too much is shown too soon and the inevitable killing scenes are silly to the point of absurd.

There's really nothing new here. An original idea is squandered for the sake of a safe return on the budget (one assumes). The result is something forgettable and bland.

The Shrine (2010)

Too long with a desperately dull start that eventually makes good

[6/10 · 16 May 2012]

Far too much pre-amble to start with, building up to the meat of the story which we all know is coming because the movie blurb tells us. You can happily skip to one quarter the way through and miss absolutely nothing of any importance.

The premise: someone goes missing in a remote corner of Poland and some fellow Americans head off to find out what happened. There's some kind of sub-story about Carmen, the lead role, trying to become a journalist or something. I have to admit it passed me by.

When we finally get to Poland things improve. We're no longer subjected to idiotic acting and bland personalities and instead start to find out what happened to the missing American. A strange fog hides a lurking secret while the local village harbours a strange satanic cult.

There's more to this than meets the eye and a few surprises to boot. The secret of the fog is a neat idea and sets up the last act of the film nicely. It's just a shame the whole thing isn't shorter and doesn't get to the action far sooner.

Good for a Friday night shocker. Just be ready with the fast-forward.

Some Guy Who Kills People (2011)

Beautifully crafted black comedy

[9/10 · 14 May 2012]

The Dexter series has paved the way nicely for some modern anti-heroes. It's OK to be a serial killer provided the people you kill are not nice people. The worse the crime, the more acceptable (on screen) it is to kill the criminal and the less guilty we can feel about enjoying the spectacle of their death.

So Some Guy Who Kills People rides along on similar rails and gives us someone we can both root for, be afraid of and concerned about all in one highly confusing package.

Kevin Corrigan plays unorthodox Ken Boyd, a depressive cartoonist recently released from the 'loony bin' into a world he doesn't understand. Clearly resident in the kind of small town community where everyone knows everyone else, Boyd lives with his sardonic mother (Karen Black) and works the only job he can get: slopping out ice cream at the local diner.

Ken keeps his head down and his mouth shut, but life has a way of intruding on his self-imposed cocoon in the form of his best friend Irv's unyielding encouragement to get out there and grab the bull by the horns, the attentions of beautiful English girl Stephanie (Lucy Davis) and Ken's long absent daughter of eleven years, Amy. This trio of distractions are merciless in their presence, drawing Ken away from his preferred mode of introspection and silence.

Character development is awesome, with young Ariel Gade hitting just the right level of chatty pre-teen and needy daughter vs vulnerable sweet kid and mini-charmer to win us over rather than put us off. Corrigan is effortlessly charismatic despite his apparent predilection for decapitating his enemies, and his rarity of lines (despite his presence in most scenes). Lucy Davis is a little too attractive and besotted to be believable, particularly as the first time she encounters Ken he is dressed up in a most unbecoming giant ice-cream costume. Davis also has a limited acting range, giving the same performance here as she gave in The Office and other American projects of late.

But Barry Bostwick is simply sublime as the eminently watchable Sheriff Walt Fuller and Karen Black puts in a great performance as the disillusioned chain-smoking mother with only the lowest expectations in her son.

Ultimately a moral warning about the perils of withdrawing and allowing the past to consume the present; thus missing out on the important things (like the parent/child relationship) Some Guy Who Kills People is a thought-provoking, beautifully crafted tale from beginning to end featuring some of the most comically subtle black humour you're ever likely to see on the big screen. You'll laugh, but you'll also hover on the edge of your seat. Mixing comedy with genuine drama is no mean feat and full credit should go to Perez, Levin and their wonderful cast for pulling it off with unparalleled aplomb.

Battleground (2012)

Plagiarism, nothing less

[1/10 · 14 May 2012]

This is a bizarre Canadian production that openly steals not just style, characters and scenes but even entire lines from the Michael Mann movie, Heat.

The plagiarism is so blatant that I would encourage Mann to sue the pants off Neil Mackay and his writer, wait for it, Sean McAulay. Yep, that's right Neil/McAuley (the very name of the lead protagonist/antagonist in Heat).

After the weak set up introducing the Vietnam vet, we are treated to a somewhat exciting presentation of the bank robbers fleeing the scene of their crime in... an ambulance. One of their number is shot. The group dump the ambulance for a getaway car (Mackay - assuming that's his real name - falls short of having them plant an explosive on the ambulance and set it on fire). It's like someone took the script of Heat, chopped it up and replaced bits and pieces to make something new but extremely familiar.

Several shot compositions are not just reminiscent of Heat but are IDENTICAL, from the way the lead role speaks to the way he holds the handset at the public phone booth. "What happened out there?" - "don't ask," I mutter to myself, "you don't wanna know" the guy on screen says. WTF?! If you know Heat (which is a superior production to this pile of tripe in virtually every possible sense) you'll be struck dumb by what is basically an initial copy, stealing bits and pieces of that film before embarking on a pointless and ill-focused killer-in-the-woods set up. Ridiculous.

Asylum Blackout (I) (2011)

Lacking focus and unrealistic

[4/10 · 14 May 2012]

An unrecognisable Rupert Evans and Kenny Doughty star as wannabe rockers consigned to the menial duties of cooks in an insane asylum in order to pay for life's necessities. When an electrical storm blows out the asylum's wiring the inmates are let loose and the cooks face a battle for survival.

What director Alexandre Courtès and writers S. Craig Zahler and Jérôme Fansten fail to understand in setting their plot premise is that asylums of this type simply do not exist. Violent and criminally insane inmates are held in secure units within prison establishments. And even if there were some kind of unique, stand-alone building for the containment of what must surely be (if the brutal shenanigans of the escaped lunatics is any measure) some of the most immeasurably psychotic human beings on the planet, there would be more than a dozen unarmed security personnel guarding them and contingencies in place to ensure any kind of riot situation would be immediately crushed.

When George and gang finally reach a telephone the cops insist it will be an hour at least before they can make a rescue. This is patently absurd. Not only would the cops be immediately en-route, making the asylum priority A1, they would be accompanied by SWAT and maybe even military. Immediately.

Moreover, even the highest level security wing of a prison would fail to provide such instant and unadulterated violence. Rioting prisoners tend to focus on the institution, banding together to damage property with, perhaps, a few grudges indulged and some skirmishing between prisoners. A complete blood-fest free-for-all, akin to a prison full of zombies rather than human beings, is what we get instead.

So there's a suspension of disbelief problem here, in no way shored up by the long winded prologue revealing George's musical ambitions, his life with girlfriend Lyn and the activities of his fellow band mates.

In short, this is an excuse to put a few 'victims' in a horrific situation then enact some cruel torture and imaginative killing.

The 'twist' at the end was a confusing addition, revealing this to be something more than just a gore-fest. Though quite why more was not made of this cross-genre attempt is hard to understand since it would have fleshed out and made interesting an otherwise one dimensional story.

Frankly, the final twist will be utterly lost on the kind of bloodthirsty bottom feeding gore-fan for whom this movie will hold the most appeal. And in the gore stakes it doesn't exactly go for broke beyond some creativity in how some of the characters are dispatched, so even the target demographic will be left somewhat disappointed.

I will award four points to this otherwise hopeless mess, however, for the acting skills of the main protagonists, not least Richard Bake's toothy grinned portrayal of Harry, a walking nightmare and a villain worthy of far greater exposure than he gets in Asylum Blackout.

Devil's Bridge (2010)

An ugly portrayal of the Welsh as a nation of rednecks

[3/10 · 2 May 2012]

Deliverance and The Hills Have Eyes comes to Wales with outlandish and unlikely consequences with only a few redeeming features.

The plot is as basic as it comes. A group of little Englanders head to Wales for some reason. Something about the lead role, Sean, requiring the help of a dodgy wheeler dealer to save his ailing business. To be honest, the reason is peripheral, barely explored and fairly pointless.

On the way to their holiday spot in the depths of the Welsh countryside the English group encounter local psychopath Bill and things progress from there. The Devil's Bridge in the title is a local landmark which the lads visit for less than one minute of the film. Thereafter it is never mentioned nor featured again, rendering the title as pointless as much of the pre-violence plot.

If there is a message here it's ambiguous. I suspect there is one, however, since much of the senseless violence centres around Welsh nationalism and looks suspiciously indulgent coming from Cardiff born writer/director Chris Crow. Whatever the underlying subtext, the resulting movie is an ugly mish mash with little distinction between villain and victim. Certainly too little for us to give a damn who goes under the knife and who doesn't.

The characters are one dimensional, but uncomfortably true to life. It may be for this reason that I, an Englishman with a close Welsh heritage, found the whole thing to be too grim and gritty to be anything other than disturbing. For a US audience the change of locale and the perpetuated stereotype of Brits as backwards, brainless and nationalistic thugs will probably make for a fun ride, though I doubt there's enough gore to satisfy the usual crowd.

In the end, this is little more than a redneck-gone-mad slasher plucked out of the southern states and dropped into the backwaters of Wales.

The Ridges (2011)

As close to reality as you're likely to get

[10/10 · 2 May 2012]

It's the found footage genre again, with an intriguing and extraordinarily well produced little gem from virtual unknown Brandon Landers and a cast who play themselves with such convincing aplomb that you'll find yourself wondering, despite knowing that it cannot possibly be so, whether this is a case of life imitating art.

It isn't. You're watching a drama. But the realism is sublime, and the voyeuristic entertainment so often overlooked in this shaky cam style of movie-making is here in spades.

The found footage phenomenon has a certain fan base, and that fan base will either love or hate The Ridges. If, for example, you enjoyed Grave Encounters or REC, you'll find The Ridges amateurish and long winded. Because it's a lengthy film and much of it is far too subtle for its target audience. In making something for the most likely target audience, I think, Landers has failed - but it's a good kind of fail because in refusing to pander to the demands of the status quo (whether by design or by accident of bad editing) what results is cult classic; an atmospheric fly-on-the-wall experience in which suspension of disbelief is virtually total and we, the audience, find ourselves as close to seeing an actual paranormal event unfold as we're ever likely to come.

The premise is simple. Collage buddies Rob and Ryan and their respective girlfriends Roberta and Alana are a typical gang, not too bright, not too driven. They have an idea for a school project which, in some vague way, involves disproving the idea of the paranormal by taking a video camera and spending one night in an abandoned lunatic asylum.

So far, so familiar, although in these things the intention is usually to prove the existence of ghosts rather than disprove them.

There's a big build up in which we become as cosy with the group and their peripheral friends as if we were part of the frat lifestyle ourselves. Ad-libbed conversations are easy, arguments are as realistic as they come and the hackneyed way the group throw together their project is such a perfect observation of modern college life that you won't believe you're watching a performance.

To his credit, Landers never falls back on screamers, ghostly apparitions of wraith-like creatures crawling across ceilings or extreme close ups of white faced, eyeless monsters with gaping mouths. if that's what you're hoping for, prepare to be disappointed. The horror here is psychological and as subtle and smart as it gets, but no less shocking for it. The final scene, which lasts perhaps no more than thirty seconds, is one of the most disturbing things I've witnessed in a movie of this genre to date.

In short, a brilliant piece of work but ultimately a failure in its idiom because teenagers will be bored, technical fans will hate the footage (often unwatchable) and hardcore horror fans won't get the gore they crave. But for die-hard advocates of smart, new and innovative indie film making The Ridges is nothing shy of perfection.

Livid (2011)

A visual treat, unique, dark and genuinely scary

[8/10 · 2 May 2012]

The sexy Chloé Coulloud plays Lucy, a world weary girl in her late teens troubled by the death of her mother. On the first day of her latest dead end job as a care-worker her irritating boss Wilson, played by Catherin Jacob, takes Lucy to a creepy old house and introduces her to a comatose patient named Jessel. Lucy learns that Jessel was once a renowned dance instructor who's daughter, Anna, died at a young age. Wilson hints at the family wealth and teases Lucy with rumours of treasure hidden somewhere in the mansion.

When Lucy's relays the story to dead-beat boyfriend William he persuades her and his brother Ben to accompany him to the house that night with the aim of finding the treasure.

Livid is both haunting and horrific in equal measure. Scenes are dimly lit, taking place almost exclusively at night and where the only source of light is a torch or flickering bulb. The Gothic mansion is a perfect set piece for the unfolding treasure hunt and much of the imagery presented within the peeling facade of its ancient walls will linger in your memory long after the film is finished. The photogenic Coulloud is perfect as the dazed female protagonist, her sultry eyes, permanent pout and expressive yet somehow dormant features will have your attention in every one of her scenes.

The first 80% of the movie is a wonderful addition to the haunted house genre, featuring some of the creepiest moments I've seen in a film of this type in a long time. Unfortunately, the story loses its way toward the end, uncertain how and where to finish, and wraps up with a series of ambiguous metaphors before spiralling out of control into full fairytale mode and throwing all previous suspension of disbelief down the can.

Despite this disappointment, the majority is well worth a watch, guaranteed to give you chills and have you on the edge of your seat. It's hard to inject this kind of blanket horror into a film and for the effort and achievement Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury deserve full credit. More, however, should definitely have been invested in a conclusion more befitting the rest of the film.

The Wicker Tree (2011)

A cardboard cut-out of a movie with no sense of its own intention

[2/10 · 1 May 2012]

Born again evangelist Beth Boothby (Brittania Nicol) and her cowboy partner Steve (Henry Garrett) travel to Scotland to teach the in-bred locals of Tresock, a small highland town with its own nuclear power station, about Jesus.

It's a dumb premise, made all the dumber by childish performances from the two lead roles. Boothby, some kind of internationally known singer with previous form as a Britney Spears-esque pop star comes across as simple minded and simpering, barely a rung or two above the intellectually challenged and self-professed 'dumb cowboy' Steve. Both have personalities as flat as Kansas. Their proselytising is irritating and their strangely forced Americanisms about as convincing as the notion of 21st century indigenous Scots as backwards sun-worshipping yokels.

The film yaws from scene to scene with no clear idea why or where it wants to go. Style is highly reminiscent of 80s film-making, replete with dodgy blurred fades to flashback and an overly-pronunciated script.

There are two highlights. One is Jacqueline Leonard as the lascivious lady of the manor. The age defying Leonard, better known for lending her beauty to British dramas like Morse, Peak Practise or Eastenders, seems to relish her role as the malevolent force in the Morrison household and sparkly eyed evil suits her well. Pity we don't see more of her on the big screen.

The second is Clive Russell as potty-mouthed Scottish butler, Beame, a great lumbering creature with an explosive temper, ridiculously huge in his kilt and pony-tail. Russell clearly knows he's gotten himself involved in a big pile of steaming haggis and plays for laughs from the off. Which is a good thing, because without that you have what amounts to a pretty unwatchable film.

I confess that I didn't make it to the end, losing interest with the clumsily produced finale at the castle. The horse was well and truly flogged and I'd seen more than enough.

One to avoid, unless you're a friend of the cast and crew or some kind of masochist for terrible movies.

Area 407 (2012)

As bad as it gets

[1/10 · 30 April 2012]

Another in the shaky cam genre. The premise is fairly straight forward, with potential legs. A plane crashes in a secret government facility akin to Area 57. Some kind of monster, presumably a military experiment, is loose in the area and the survivors of the crash must also survive the monster.

Things go reasonably well in the opening scene. We are introduced to the main protagonists as they embark the aircraft and engage in friendly banter. We identify immediately with the charismatic photo-journalist and a variety of other peripheral characters. The two lead roles, giggly teenage girls presumably designed to appeal to the movie's target demographic, are intolerably irritating. This is not intentional. We are supposed to root for them throughout. Suffice to say that I did not.

When the plane crashes, so too does the film. What ensues is an improv nightmare of epic proportions. The acting ranges from stage-school dire to 'a sterling effort all things considered', with watchable performances from James and Melanie Lyons (are those guys married?) and Brendan Patrick Connor as the socially incapable Charlie but silliness and over-acting fare from everyone else.

There really is no need to hide the rest of the story behind spoiler alerts. People run around and scream a lot. There's a ridiculous amount of comedy ketchup blood but no budget for real gore and the monster is about as frightening as the plot is imaginative.

If ever a movie represented with unerring (yet unwitting) veracity the dumbed-down and technically lazy state of modern cinema, Tape 407 is it. No script, no plot, no direction and nobody cares. You'll be relieved when it's over and that hollow feeling you have inside? That'll be your sense of expectation as a paying member of modern cinema-going audiences finally diminished to zero.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Goes out on a limb but falls short of the grail

[7/10 · 26 April 2012]

Few clichés are as tired as the by now infinitely wearisome 'teenage college kids spend the weekend in a cabin in the woods' format.

For some reason horror movie producers and directors still seem to think this format is workable, maybe even a trope. But that's not true. Show me someone who isn't bored of the 'cabin in the woods' setup and I'll show you someone who's been living the past three decades (if not four) living with an indigenous pygmy tribe in the remote depths of the Amazon jungle where they don't even know what a trope is. In short, dear Hollywood - we are pig-sh*t-sick of the cabin in the woods scenario.

Thus, a film entitled 'Cabin in the Woods' is making a bold move with the movie-going public. There's an inevitable sense of foreboding. A sinking feeling that movies, and therefore society, are on the decline; that the brazen title of this latest horror outing is indicative of the 'couldn't give a flying flick' attitude of the powers that be; a cinematic microcosm of the mire we are expected to live in on a daily basis, to take on the chin, to accept as read, to swallow like good little boys and girls. Here is society personified in a film title and we know all too well what to expect. We pay our fees, bend over and drop our trousers as we've grown accustomed to doing of late.

But wait! Something is amiss.

Sure, we're looking at a group of teenagers going to a cabin in the woods for a weekend break. And sure, one of them is a muscular 'jock', another is a blonde, over-sexed bimbo, another is a pot-smoking know-it-all sarcasm vendor and yet another is the ubiquitous prissy virgin, annoyed that her friends have set her up with the token 'stud' and won't even allow her to bring her text books to the cabin. Sure, everything looks suspiciously familiar from the outset - even down to the grumpy local yokel and his serial-killer mannerisms. But don't let appearances deceive you.

Cabin in the Woods inserts its tongue into its cheek from scene one. It recognises the clichés and sprains them. It gives the middle finger to sense and throws itself with wild abandon into the silliest, yet most original plot you're likely to see this side of a Tarantino picture.

And then it falls sadly short, drawing up a few furlongs shy of an instant classic. The problems are not numerous, but jar nonetheless. Plot holes, for the most part. Questions unanswered and threads unresolved. The premise is inspired yet never fully realised. The characters contain potential but fall foul of the formula. Ultimately, in trying to parody a genre, Cabin in the Woods becomes its own target and sinks into a paradox of self-defeating ideas. In the end it morphs into something quite original but far beyond the initial mission statement, wading its way toward an inevitable conclusion having succumbed to those unoriginal scenes it seeks to mock.

Ultimately, a unique horror, black humour of the deepest black with a sprinkling of eugenicist philosophy for good measure. You'll enjoy it, I guarantee. Whether you'll take anything away from it other than a smirk is less certain.

Could have been a genre-changing catalyst, but succeeds only in adding a few new layers to a previously shallow sub-genre. Great fun along the way and no less worthy a motion picture for those failed and lofty intentions.

The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

Further Evidence That Spielberg Has Lost Interest

[5/10 · 24 April 2012]

I tend to have a fairly good method for judging whether or not I think a film is worthy of praise or guilty of some cinematic flaw. I base my method on whether or not I'd watch it again. Films I love, I can watch more than once, sometimes many times. In the case of The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn, I won't be watching it again.

Not that this is necessarily a bad film. The voice-acting is of a decent standard (the strangely under-employed Serkis predictably stealing the show); the animation is technically advanced and at points breath-taking. The story is a hybrid of two or three Tintin books and there are a variety of nods, winks and tips of the hat in the direction of hardcore fans, which I suspect hardcore fans will either love or hate.

But there are underlying problems here which seem to be the trademark of modern Spielberg efforts. Long gone are the days of ET and Close Encounters. The shine is gone from Spielberg's talent and while the remaining vestiges of, admittedly, higher than average ability continue to glimmer from time to time, there's a veneer of tarnished weariness about this once epic director. You can't help wondering if Spielberg has lost his love for movie-making and is, at this point in his life, merely going through the motions.

Less subtle are the glaring problems with this movie, beginning with what must be one of the longest and most irritating opening credit sequences I've ever had the misfortune to sit through.

The animated characters are at best unendearing, at worst outright creepy. From Haddock's piggy little eyes to the oddly life-like yet simultaneously corpse-ish features of the peripheral characters, something clearly went wrong at the effects stage. I'm reminded of the failed attempt to inject realism into the cast of The Polar Express, resulting in a variety of horrible computer generated manikins somewhat akin to, but not quite precisely like Tom Hanks if Tom Hanks were to be returned from the dead without his soul.

The heir apparent to Red Rackham is the most disconcerting in terms of inhuman humanisation, being the least cartoonish of the animated cast his obviously unreal features are the most wrenching. His face is beautifully modelled, but only in the same way that a waxwork is beautifully modelled. His expressions never quite come to fruition and it's often hard to tell where his eyes are pointing, giving the impression that this might not be an animation at all but live action featuring bored actors in masks.

Where the animation succeeds in boiling over to nuclear proportions is in the action sequences, from the breath-stealing view of a Moroccan coastal town to the eye-popping gorgeousness of The Unicorn surging through mountainous waves. The battle between Red Rackham's ship and The Unicorn, while ludicrously over-dramatic, will satisfy even the most demanding eye-candy addict.

Unfortunately the emphasis in Tintin was always on exposition, soliloquy, thoughtful puzzle solving and unlikely gun fights in which nobody gets hurt or bleeds. This all lent itself uncommonly well to Herge's comic book format; neat and precise as the lines of the figures he drew and the frames within which their adventures unfolded. But on the big screen it makes for a long-winded and awkward experience. And rather than embellish the moments of calm, the sudden and explosive action sequences work only to throw the intelligent aspects into stark relief.

I wanted to love this movie. But I've suspected for a while now that Spielberg is in some kind of artistic decline and did not, for this very reason, raise my hopes particularly high. So I didn't love it, though it was somewhat entertaining.

Session 9 (2001)

Old school horror at its very best

[9/10 · 7 February 2012]

An asbestos crew win the contract on a derelict insane asylum by promising to complete the job in one week. Led by gritty and grizzled Scot Gordon Fleming (Peter Mullan) and his apparent business partner Phil (David Curuso), employees Mike and Hank - both weary of their bottom-feeder jobs and wishing for something better - and new-guy Jeff set to work on the promise of a hefty bonus at day zero.

The countdown begins, with the movie divided into five parts and five days. At the same time a count-up occurs as Mike (Steven Gevedon), a wasted law-school drop-out and intellectual, finds a bunch of old DAT tapes labelled 'session 1' thru 'session 9' while poking around in one of the asylum's abandoned offices. He discovers that each spool contains the recording of a therapy session (more of a psychiatric interrogation in fact) between a nameless doctor and a patient called Mary. At every opportunity Mike slinks away to the office and wastes a little time listening to another spool, the contents of each session revealing some necessary exposition through the creepy alternate personalities of Mary.

The simultaneous count down and count up are an interesting device, creating a sense of inevitable collision between the two and an underlying metaphor for schizophrenia. The name of the film and our knowledge that the crew have exactly five days to complete the job means we're left in no doubt that some kind of climax is approaching.

Session 9 is an intelligent screenplay that draws on cinematic greats like The Shining, at the same time presenting the viewer with something entirely unique and genuinely horrifying. Here the essence of a fly-on-the-wall documentary is captured without resorting to the home movie camera or the literal documentary crew. The screen becomes a window into reality and we as viewers find ourselves strangely invested in the mundane aspects of the asbestos work. Yes, the asylum is creepy. Yes, there's obviously something dodgy going on. Yes, we're fretting more about the fact that Hank is taking another cigarette break than we are about any of that horror movie stuff.

So the interplay between characters here is very realistic, the script placing us at the heart of a tight knit unit so that we feel both warmed by their comradery and as adrift as the mullet-sporting Jeff (Gordon's nephew and newcomer to the job played by Brendan Sexton III). For the first fifteen minutes of the film we forget we're watching a horror, our attention fully focused on understanding the dynamics between each member of the work crew.

An underlying sense of dissatisfaction runs through each personality, be that a dissatisfaction with the monotony and dead-end nature of their profession, dissatisfaction with home (new father Gordon is finding life as parent exhausting and there are obvious issues between him and his wife Wendy) or dissatisfaction with failed love affairs.

The result is a lacklustre focus on the job (despite the lure of the bonus), plenty of atmospheric tension and the unshakable feeling that nobody really wants to be where they are.

This is no fast-paced jump-in-your-seat gore fest, so fans of Freddy, Jason, Pumpkin Head and all other campfire killers need not apply. That said, there are some real heart-stopper scenes and a fair measure of gory detail in its rightful place, but the movie doesn't rely on these for momentum. Nor does it depend entirely on the set piece of the asylum for establishing a creepy atmosphere (though the building doubtless does its part). This is no mindless haunted house or shaky-shoulder-cam ghost hunt but a clever and suspenseful study in horror at its absolute best, designed to keep you guessing until the end.

There are a few negatives. Given the tremendous build up, the end lacks conviction and the stories of characters in whose ongoing roles we have invested a fair amount of emotional empathy are not concluded with any degree of restitution or fulfilment. There's too much reliance on flash backs, amnesia and subtle exposition and not enough intertwining of the two tales - that of the asbestos crew and that of the patient Mary. Sure, the grand finale tries to address that issue, but by then it just feels like too subtle too late. In short, the equilibrium reaches a dead point and never really recovers.

More glaringly, there's a certain degree of slothfulness about the film, which isn't helped by the constant procrastination of the protagonists(utterly at odds, by the way, with the idea that they are working harder than they've ever worked before. If that's the case, I'd hate to see them on a slow day). At points the film is barely ticking over and risks losing the viewer's interest. It never quite slips over that brink, however. There's something unquestionably compelling about fly-on the wall documentaries, after all. You simply can't turn away, even when you want to.

Overall, the negatives are buried under an avalanche of positives, most of which are character driven. From Caruso's spooky portrayal of Phil to Mullan's heartfelt pathos and disturbing sense of doom. Characters with depth are something about which Hollywood horror seems to be in denial, so this is a welcome relief.

If the relentless tide of blood-drenched zombies, CGI monsters, cabins in the wood and axe murderers have left you hungry for something more, Session 9 is good hearty fare. Highly recommended for true connoisseurs of horror.

Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002 Video)

Flawed mess

[3/10 · 2 February 2012]

Other reviewers (at least the ones I read) must have watched a different movie to me. What I saw was certainly an effort at originality, and yes, it was better than some of the other sequels to the franchise, but that said it was still a below par screenplay, borrowing heavily from other, cleverer, more original films.

Ironically Hellraiser:Hellseeker shares some of the same flawed plot concepts as the movie it borrows most heavily from: Jacob's Ladder. There's the same two tier story running consecutively and along different, mysterious time-lines, both of which fail utterly to fuse into a single coherent time-line at the end of the film. There's the same solipsist nightmare: how can one truly discern between reality and dreams when the dream state feels as 'real' as reality itself? The second movie from which Hellseeker shamelessly borrows is Angel Heart, a masterpiece of cinematic horror featuring Mickey Rourke before his face went to hell (as a result of high living, screwed up plastic surgery and boxing, not Pinhead) and Robert DeNiro. Where Angel Heart is innovative, Hellseeker is simply repetitive and boring. Where Mickey Rourke excels as the confused protagonist in Angel Heart, Dean Winters sleep-walks his way through the role in Hellseeker, and where DeNiro gets all the best lines, poor Pinhead gets some of the most forgettable I've ever heard him utter.

Granted, compared with the other Hellraiser sequels (all bar Hell on Earth, which I have to say I enjoyed more than I or II) this tries something different, and maybe with a better lead role there'd be something there worthy of a couple more stars. But ultimately the confused mess of a plot destroys itself, irrespective of Winters' deadpan portrayal.

I give this rubbish one star for effort and one for the inclusion of Ashley Laurence who, lets face it, should really be above all this by now. Another star for Doug Bradley as Pinhead who never fails to send chills down my spine with his black 8-ball eyes and his tendency to drag nine inch nails out of his own skull.

Ultimately though, Doug needs to share that last star with Clive Barker without whom the world would be a much duller place.