Change Your Image
aaubrey4
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Man of Steel (2013)
The Movie I wish Existed
A new Superman movie was as inevitable as four more Superman movies by 2040. I could tear apart Man of Steel, but I am out of kryptonite (see what I did there???). Instead, I will present the movie that I wish existed in its place. Hell, maybe I will make this movie by 2040. Once upon a time in Smallville
Martha and Jonathan Kent, played by Jeff Bridges and Amy Adams (in old lady make-up), find a baby, played by an actual baby, in a small spacecraft that crashed in their corn fields. This special baby is wrapped in a giant red blanket with an 'S' on it.
The Kents linearly progress through scenes depicting them raising a growing alien boy, played by one of the Culkin brothers, who excels at sports, gets straight A's by cheating on tests with X-ray vision, and struggles with hiding the extent of his abilities and the overwhelming affection all 14 of Smallville's highschool-aged girls.
One day, young Clark Kent has to use his powers to save a family in a flipped car that is going to explode. Papa Kent talks with his son afterward about how Clark did the right thing and has abilities that can help the people of Earth. He further remarks that doing nothing would have been as bad as killing the family, himself.
Following that, Clark ages and masters his powers to the point of being able to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and breathe really cold air at stuff. When Clark respectfully tells Jonathan and Martha that he wants to know where he came from, they show him the ship, which yields the location of a giant cave. Clark, now played by Channing Tatum with dark longer hair, wearing thick hipster glasses, leaves his loving parents and flies to the cave to find a lair that his father had launched somehow from Krypton to the Arctic. In the cave, a recording of his parents explains the fate of Krypton, who Clark actually is, and presents an article of clothing that should fit Clark, which is highly resilient to rough circumstances and fire (or else his super butt will show due to weak, Earth fabric). Clark thinks the outfit will look awesome with his blanket as a toga or something. His fashion forward mother thinks that it would be sweet as a cape, which his tailor father sews for him (Martha is the mayor of Smallville). His parents understand that their son will one day be a hero, but tell Clark that he first needs to go to college.
We skip the whole college thing and jump to him getting an awesome internship at the Daily Planet. Clark acts like a boring guy who wears polo shirts tucked into khakis and loves Sudoku. He assists and inevitably falls for head-strong, confident journalist, Lois Lane, played by Aubrey Plaza. Then, some evil force attacks Metropolis minimally damaging buildings before Superman shows up, saves Lois, and then kills the evil force (I liked that part of Man of Steel because I love murder!). All the while, Lois and the rest of the Daily planet crew wonder why Clark-the-intern ran off at the first sign of danger and hold mild contempt for him. At the same time, Lois develops a healthy obsession with her savior, Superman. The movie ends with Lois and the other journalists ridiculing Clark for being a coward and him replying, "sometimes I don't feel very invincible
".
Red Hill (2010)
Intreresting film
Red Hill follows a police officer who recently transferred from the city to the rural town of Red Hill for the health of his pregnant wife. On his first day, however, an escaped convict threatens the apparent peace in the town.
I loved this movie. The camera work was excellent,the town's characters had-character, and the tense sections were pulled off just right. The main direction the movie would take was discernible early on, but I never knew what would happen next. It played like a western and had a wonderful small town feel.
I would recommend this movie to anyone. It was gripping, fun, and had touching moments. Excellent!
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
I hate when movies frustrate me
Transformers: Dark of the Moon was such a terrible movie! It had poor acting, casting, and sequences. Whaah! The movie involves, now unemployed, Sam as he uncovers a Decepticon plan that could end the world. He tries to confront the government along with the Autobots, but no one listens for some reason. Then things get out of control.
Where to start? Casting! As stated by others, our hapless semi-hero, Sam is dating a collagen infused model who works for a billionaire who gives her a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar car?! The Decepticons somehow keep getting these ridiculously powerful additions, while the Autobots get weak comic relief. Shia is still Shia--who is annoying and frustrating. All of the old characters return and Bumblebee is still the fave--funny because he doesn't talk.
The story could have been interesting, if they would have focused on it instead of slow motion explosions and long, boring scenes that include being slung through a building by a robotic snake for what seemed like an eternity. Worst of all was the repeated placement of Sam's parents throughout the movie. I mean, in the midst of the looming danger, Sam talks to his parents about relationship issues! I fast forwarded through it and lost nothing.
Other dumb things: Sam does parkour through Chicago. The decisions of the US officials were idiotic and only served to drag out the film. I was dumb for watching it (even though it was free).
This movie was trash and Michael Bay continues with his efforts of essentially making movies that have the feel of a 2-hour beer commercial.
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
Style over Substance
Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol follows Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and crew Benji (Pegg), Carter (Patton), and Brandt (Renner), as they attempt to thwart super secret agent, physicist, and psycho, Hendricks (Nyqvist) in his attempts to start a nuclear semi-apocalypse.
To be to-the-point, this movie lacks the substance of the first and, instead relies upon effects and protracted action scenes. The plot follows the standard formula of chasing down launch codes and stopping catastrophe at the last minute. The movie simply moves from location to location with frustrating near misses driving the globe-trotting. The scenery was definitely beautiful and the filming had a grand feel, but unlike MI3, I wasn't intrigued enough to care about what was happening. After a while, I just wanted it to reach its inevitable conclusion.
The characters and their motives were also lacking. Carter was angry over the loss of a partner and hinted love interest and could not control herself—kind of the weak woman stereotype. Brandt was relegated to the position of analyst for a mysterious reason that seemed like it would be shocking—it wasn't. Benji's character reminded me of Jar Jar Binx (probably misspelled). Benji would talk so much throughout the movie as the "comic relief" and maybe 5% of it was enjoyable. I really liked the Sidorov character, but they didn't really follow through on him. Tom Cruise played a consistent, well acted, angry/distracted Ethan Hunt. Wistrom was a Bond villain and was not nearly as cleaver and unlikeable as Davian from MI3.
The scenes that were amazing and fun included the Prison scene from the beginning, the hospital, and the entire Dubai section. The gadgets were over-used. The magnet shirt, sci-fi train car, sci-fi super car, and projection wall were just too much to have in the same movie. The characters and story were clumsily thrown together around the effects and made me laugh for the wrong reasons—especially the ridiculously dumb ending with cameos from people that should have been left out if only given that much screen time.
If you liked MI3 for the plot, characters, suspense, and excellent action (expected from Abrams), you will likely find this entry to be a rich man's Mission: Impossible 2. I would personally only recommend this movie in IMAX, or while drunk
, or both.