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jakemingram
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The Revenant (2015)
Dicaprio is back from the dead!
There's been a long dry spell since Dicaprio starred in a decent thriller, this film has ended that dry spell.
If you can enjoy a movie without IMAX, giant screens & surround sound- then you have found a quality film. I didn't even need to step foot in a theatre, I've enjoyed this movie with about 480p- and still stunning imagery.
I'm amazed by the views and scenery. It gives you a sense of what Dicaprio's character is going through. I won't go into any plot...
This movie brought back memories from Christopher Noland's films applaud Alejandro González Iñárritu and Emmanuel Lubezki for their work in this movie, I look forward to more like this.
Air Collision (2012)
A Divine Comedy
Oh, what a wonderful movie.
I honestly don't know where to begin. Anyone who watches this movie should recognize that it is an Asylum film, and was probably made as a joke. Even so, I still loved it. It was so senseless and mind numbing that it had entertaining and amusing properties.
The very beginning is the best part. A lady is driving a convertible with the speakers on full blast, and spontaneously gets obliterated by falling satellite debris. I honestly think anyone with their speakers that loud should be annihilated. When someone investigates as to what satellite the debris belong to- they pick up a lighting fixture with a mother board glued to the side. Geez, don't want to be hit by a falling household lighting fixture- those things have a bad reputation of falling from satellites.
As many users pointed out, the mysterious purple lightning storm was exciting. Waves and waves of purple stuff caused satellites to become so damaged, that they fall from orbit- and impact only the most critical parts of the world. In this case, it happens to be the only air traffic control tower that can communicate with AF1, and most of the civilian population. I love how the controllers saw the debris heading towards them on radar- and barely escaped the inferno. They should have fried anyway- most of them left their post many times to make phone calls- leaving a very conceited intern in charge.
I also love when the ACAT system locks a secret service agent in the bathroom- and has a camera fixed on him. Turns out the ACAT system is not only evil, but extremely perverted. For those of you who didn't know, the ACAT system has control of Air Force One, the radar system, and many missiles (which don't always explode). What doofus President would put so much power into something named after a CAT? Surely after the ACAT satellite falls from the sky, it would turn off? No, it's much worse than that. ACAT shoots down the F-16 escorts, shoots a missile at a man on a different plane (all we see is his forehead is bruised a bit), electrocutes the pilots of Air Force One, and tries to zap the President's Daughter.
I know it's a lot to take in. But don't take my word for it, there is plenty more in the movie. Now the best part of the movie is what the passengers on board the DC-9 has to go through. After they survive a fierce storm of purple lightning, they knock off the tip of the Cleveland Tower- No big, they keep flying, not a single scratch-yet. We see an obviously disturbed passenger who desperately wants his newspapers, and a girl who needs her pills after splitting up whipped cream.
The ACAT on AF1 decides it doesn't like whip cream girl, so it tries to shoots down the DC- 9 with a missile. The Missile gets struck by lightning, and only penetrates through the side of the plane, leaving a square hole. A passenger then PICKS UP THE MISSILE, and throws it out of the plane, which then falls to the earth and blows up a Toyota pickup at a gas station (those trucks aren't worth anything anyway). Then, the passengers plug the hole with some carry-on bags. WOW, they should make all plane doors out of carry on bags! BUT WAIT! THE WHIP CREAM GIRL'S PILLS ARE IN ONE OF THE BAGS! She dies from a seizure- and she is covered with a blanket- many blankets are used to cover dead passengers throughout the film. IF that isn't enough- the newspaper man goes nuts- and gets knocked out by a copy of Lord of the Rings. Yes, the newspaper man lives after being struck by the book, but later is sucked out of the plane after nearly colliding with Air Force One. A large gap is created in the roof of the plane- but the plane remains intact at 21,000 feet. Whooo, give those pilots a cookie. If that isn't enough, they land on a street in Cleveland after striking over 3 buildings. After everyone evacuates, some idiot decides to stay and take one last look at the magical plane that should have exploded when the missile hit. The plane then erupts into flames, and kills the poor chap. You would think he wouldn't pull a "Lot's wife" move and look back- but he did, and died as a result.
But that's not it! Some colonel on an army base, population 3, decides to enact operation desert fox. A C-130 pulls up underneath AF1, and attaches a PVC pipe/elevator to the plane. After the President refuses to go, the First Lady goes instead. A rope is then attached to a hook in the wall. The oddly placed hook rips from the drywall, tearing the PVC pipe with it. We then see the first lady clinging to the rope (insert Wilhelm scream), and the C-130 EXPLODES. The President then pulls his wife back into the plane. I was amazed that a simple hook that snaps causes desert fox to fail. Whoever the architect of that was, he should be shot.
To sum things up, I enjoyed this movie a lot. The madness of this movie is what made it exciting. Literally every second either had fast pace music playing, or a close up shot of something being blown up. I would highly recommend this film to be watched ONLY ONCE. If you watch this twice, you might explode yourself. I gave this film a 2/10 because a 1/10 wouldn't serve this film justice. The additional star is for the pilots of AF1. They tried everything they could, snipped random wires under the control panel, shot through the cabin door, and got electrocuted after trying to disarm the biological lock on the ACAT system. May their souls rest in peace?
Collision Course (2012)
The Best Science Fiction Movie Ever!
I personally love aviation, and science fiction is always a thriller. I thought the two would be a good mixture in this film, but I was wrong. As a common rule, any movie below a 7.5 rating on IMDb should be avoided, (unless Nicholas Cage happens to be in it). Anyway, I broke my rule- and now I regret it. Honestly, a sixth grader could have written better script than this, and could have provided better CGI as well. The title is "Collision course", but the movie is not based around an air- collision at all. It revolves around a solar flare causing an EMP. The near miss air collision is only one of many events to occur. Everyone is stuck in the Chicago terminal after their connecting flight is canceled, (big surprise). The desk clerk is frantically trying to calm everyone, including a very dogmatic hillbilly. Suddenly, the CEO of the company happens to show up, and gets everyone a connecting flight, YAY! Everyone gets on board, and turns out the CEO just so happens to be the Flight Steward too- and is the only flight steward. Kate Parks, whom the story sort of revolves around, calls her inconsiderate teenage daughter and tells her to go to grandmas for the night. We hear a lot of unneeded dialog. Everyone is seated- and the hillbilly happens to sit behind a bearded man. The hillbilly nudges his partner and says, "Oh boy, we got Bin Laden on board!" (The script writers portray the southerner very stereo-typically, as racist and as a xenophobe- which wasn't necessary for this movie.) The pilots get the all clear to take off- now they are in the air. The Captain then reaches to turn on the autopilot- and suddenly, the EMP strikes! ZAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP! Both Pilots get electrocuted for some odd reason, and the plane starts shaking. The Captain is dead, and copilot is unconscious- BUT THE PLANE IS STILL FLYING! Woo, thank goodness he turned on the auto pilot before he died! We see Grandma Parks, who works a restaurant by herself- gets thrown off a stool because of the EMP. She falls down- and her stove starts spewing out propane- AND THERE IS A LIT CANDLE INSIDE!!!!! Not much time left until Grandma fries! *Back to the plane in the air. Everyone is stressed. The CEO/Flight Attendant decides to check on the pilots after a few minutes. He knocks on the door- no response. He then uses his KEYS to get inside the cockpit. How convenient! They call in a medic, who figures out they died of electrocution. Osama then suspects it was an EMP, and the Hillbilly then thinks Osama planted an EMP Bomb in the plane! YES, IT MUST HAVE BEEN AN EMP BOMB; ITS SO EASY TO GET PAST CUSTOMS WITH THOSE! The southerner guy continues to be a nuisance. Osama then says, "I was born in Nebraska." The Hillbilly then says, "Sure OBAMA, until I see a birth certificate, I Ain't buying it!" -This is a direct quote. Alright, you get the picture. The Auto Pilot shorts out- everyone panics- Kate has to disable the autopilot, but the buttons are stuck. The copilot then stops breathing- they use the defibrillator, and he wakes up. YAY! He tells Kate to go in the cargo hold and flip the breaker. The Hillbilly volunteers to go with her. They go down in the massive cargo hold- which has 8 foot high ceilings. Very cozy, more room down there than in the cabin! Kate finds the breaker- and flips it. The plane goes haywire. A dog then gets loose and tries to bite several people on board. But- the dog trainer calms the dog. The plane is nearing the airport- only two air traffic controllers are on duty. They can't communicate with any aircraft. Several planes collide killing many people. One of the controllers happens to be a hacker for the Air Force- he hacks into NASA's satellite system, and calls everyone on the plane. He tells Kate she needs to land soon. NASA finds out someone hacked into the system- and locks him out. DARN! Kate has to land the plane by herself! She starts pushing buttons, (as if she knows what she is doing). They are coming in fast! (500 mph to be exact) She says, "Were coming in too fast, I will have to try a reverse maneuver and land the plane! My husband died trying to do this!" She turns the plane to the side, and lands safely. Whoooooooo. Big relief. An inexperienced passenger just happens to land a plane traveling 500 mph- and stops in the middle of the runway with plenty of room to spare.
I would list every stupid storyline if I could, but I am limited to 1,000 words. You have to watch the movie to see every stupid thing. Wait, don't watch it. Alright, let's wrap this up. I really hate this movie with a passion. It is a disgrace to all Sci-Fi. The story line is horrible- and the dialog is cheesy. Like I said before, a sixth grader could have written better dialog. It seemed like to me the story writers lacked any knowledge in what an EMP really does, and how to write a story in general. In the movie- the EMP targets SOME electronics. In real life, an EMP would FRY every electronic. So, in reality, the plane shouldn't have been working at all- no lights, no electricity, and no autopilot. Somehow, the ATC works, and the telephone lines work. This film was jam packed with every scenario during a solar storm, but still was not accurate at all. It's like a hodgepodge of very unfortunate events on a plane- dog escapes, pilots electrocuted, and they nearly hit another plane. This movie should be used in Guantanamo bay for torture. That's all I have to say.