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The Holdovers (2023)
8/10
Best movie I've seen in a long time.
31 March 2024
I truly mean it when I say that this is one of the best movies I've seen in a really long time. Halfway though, I realized what an honest film The Holdovers really was. Not in the "woe is the human plight" sort of way, but it had such a beautiful way of holding the interest of the viewer without using any sort of grand theatrics or "ah-ha" moments, it was just a well-written and beautifully directed film.

The characters started out surface level enough to give the film authenticity with the perfect amount of depth to give you room to get to know them as they got to know each other. Nothing in this movie felt unnecessary or underwhelming. Incredible performances by the leading cast, and such a kind and genuine story; you can truly feel the love that all who contributed to making this felt.

I love and hate that there aren't more films like this. Because it's so amazing to watch something and be unexpectedly blown away by it, but what's so great about this movie is that it truly feels like 70s classics like Harold and Maude and The Graduate.

I definitely think this movie is hit or miss, regardless of the overwhelming number of positive reviews. It's dialogue driven, long and there isn't a strong enough plot to captivate those looking for a concrete storyline. I cried at so many different moments for so many different reasons. I even cried once just because I thought the scene was wonderful and sincere.

If you're looking for a mellow movie to ease a rough day, that uplifts you while also catering to your sadness, this is definitely a strong recommendation for just that.
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2/10
You're gonna love to hate this movie
17 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I'm with the "lost criminal minds episode" reviewer. This was hilariously bad, and I completely agree that a dramatic and creepy score would've easily turned this into what everyone's gut feeling was churning out through this whole movie, "Jacob is a serial killer"

It's as if this movie were intended to be a horror film but budgeting couldn't cover the fake blood after the opening scenes with the horribly fake snow. Fortunately, "Christmas Romance" producers believe there is no bottom, and wrote an alternate ending. Jacob clearly didn't care either way and said "I'll stick with my original character".

It's like twelve different people had their hand at this script without consulting one other and decided to say, "screw it, let's throw it at the wall and see if it sticks". Well, it didn't, this movie felt like the disjointed, poorly acted ramblings of cat lady angry at men but desperate for love.

The real moment of Christmas miracle magic is when Katie tells Jacob they're in different "economic and social circles" and then accuses Jacob of "lying" and calling her shallow when she finds out our man has money and it was okay to love him after all.

There is no need to dissect anymore of this, we all watched the same movie and we all know what we saw: A long, drawn out introduction that suddenly shifts gears and has the main character crashing through her life like Tasmanian Devil on a cocaine-fueled holiday love adventure.
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Castle Rock (2018– )
5/10
Confusing Plot - Stellar Acting
4 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
First of all, Sissy and Lizzy hold this entire series together with incredible performances and an amazing supporting cast (although Sissy wasn't the main character, she stole the show in the first season). However, I'm still trying to figure out the plot because none of it ties together.

Season one drags on slowly and we learn next to nothing about what's actually going on during the first 6 or so episodes. Repeated scenes, whiffs of answers abruptly pulled away and rolled into more chaos and unexplained situations. Once it got going, it was great but the story doesn't feel like it ever actually gets resolved or explained and it really ended on an unsatisfactory note. Adopted Henry, although the main character, is easily the worst actor in the first season and his character is very unlikable. Spacek and Melanie Lynskey really made the first season better than it should've been.

Season 2 was the opposite and started out strong but then just fell flat. There were clearly characters added strictly for episode filler like Rita, whose initial survival is completely unnecessary and her ultimate death really doesn't make sense in the storyline overall. It does pick up in the last few episodes but the entire stay in Jerusalem's Lot/Castle Rock really didn't have anything to do with the story of Annie Wilkes. Additionally, what was the point of anything going on in the town in season 2? What was the goal here?

I really don't know what this series was supposed to be, I wanted to like it so much, and at moments, I really did, but I had to drag myself to the end and was genuinely confused, again, by any of the significance of Castle Rock to the main storyline of Annie. I would give the overall series a lower rating, but honestly, the acting is fantastic and made everything else worth it.
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Asteroid City (2023)
4/10
I Don't Get It
18 August 2023
This was incredibly frustrating to watch. Of course the cinematography is beautiful, and there are some really clever jokes, and it has many of the dry characteristics we all love when we see the name Wes Anderson.

However, it's so unbearably stiff. And the irony (and maybe that's the joke) is that theatre acting is typically expected to be more dramatic and animated. Here is a cast full of deeply devoted actors who have played incredible roles with immense depth throughout the years, but none of that was used in this film.

There is usually some defining, sentimental theme in Anderson films that even though they are perfectly embedded with dry humor and seemingly impenetrable characters, we relate to them and love them. Again, none of that existed here.

There is no defining plot, what is here is weird and confusing, there are no character arcs because everyone is one-dimensional with no fun quirks or lovable qualities; there is nothing here that makes this memorable other than again, the gorgeous cinematography. The only emotion it evokes is frustration because I know what Wes Anderson is capable of and it's so much more than this.

I'm genuinely hoping this was some passion project because it was the thing I dislike so very much about artistic film making: art for the sake of art.

I'm certain there was some aspect of this I missed but honesty, I'm just homesick for Owen and Wes films with Mark Mothersbaugh compostitions.
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The Dilemma (2011)
2/10
Awful and Weird
16 August 2023
My review may not be without bias because I am not a fan of Kevin James and I'm burned out on the typecast Vince Vaughn characters, but I wanted something cheeky to put on in the background and ignore. If you're on the fence about watching this, I suggest you don't.

It played out so unrealistically. And although movies obviously aren't generally supposed to be super realistic, having a friend jeopardize their own life and relationship to obsess over a friend's cheating spouse to an extreme degree, is neither entertaining or relatable.

This movie was so uncomfortable to watch due to so many levels of cringe, and watching someone spiral over something that doesn't directly affect them is not a good premise for a story.
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5/10
Mediocre Courtroom Drama
13 August 2023
It's not bad for a lazy afternoon, surface level detective/courtroom drama, but there really isn't a lot of depth here. It kind of feels like a hat-tip to 90's detective movies, but lacks the same charm and has no real personality. It never seems to go anywhere even as it moves forward.

With such a solid cast, I was really surprised what little roles everyone else had and that McConaughey didn't really seem to give it much acting power. The story is full of unexplained scenarios and unanswered questions (which according to other reviews can be answered by reading the book) and the "twist ending" felt horribly bland.

Additionally, and I'm not sure if it's just a victim of it's time or if it's just a personal preference, I was not a fan of the directing. Quick cuts, shaky camera shots and the dark lighting gave you the impression it was also supposed to an action film but it's just out of place.

Overall, not a bad watch but definitely won't watch a 2nd time.
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3/10
Filmmaker Has No Clue
12 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Based on the other reviews, it's clear I'm not the only one who felt the Alexandra Pelosi missed what was right in front of her.

Her questions sounded condescending; and whether from a point of judgment or not, it's very clear she's never "mingled" with struggling, low-income people/families and had no idea that some of her questions were unnecessarily intrusive and rude. She asked questions in such a way that suggests these people aren't working to get out of their situation and I found myself offended on their behalf.

A few of the adults seemed to pick up on this as well and although no one was outright defensive, there was no level of trust built where they appeared to answer her questions candidly. Specifically I'm speaking of the mother who worked at Disneyland where she even added an, "I just need to get my butt in gear and get a second job" to shield herself from the shame from the line of questioning.

Again, I can't say what Ms Pelosi's intentions were but I assume she did not intend to pass judgment on these families. However, she failed miserably at creating a safe space for these people to genuinely talk about their struggles and while the documentary does serve as an honest glimpse into the lives of these children, it was surface level and needed more empathy from behind the camera to achieve the goal.
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The Guilty (2021)
5/10
Was prepared to give it a 3 but landed on 5
4 August 2023
There isn't much to say outside of what everyone else has already echoed. I haven't seen the original, but typically foreign film remakes don't do as well so I'm sure the sentiment holds true to this film as well.

That being said, Jake G saves this. I was ready to quit about an hour in, but kept going. Aside from Peter Sarsgaard, the voice actors were terrible. Even ole Pete didn't do phenomenally but was much better than the rest of the ensemble.

I would consider this a flop but Gyllenhaal really did seem to give an honest effort and pulled it from the muck with portraying an angry, broken cop really well.

Other than his acting, the story line is predictable, unrealistic and dull. It aims to be a "race against the clock" film but it was more of a "run the clock out" endeavor.
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The Patient (2022)
8/10
Sit With It
13 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
It's not very often dialogue driven series make it to major networks that can afford solid actors. I had never heard of this but watched it because I will watch anything with Steve. I was extremely surprised at how well this covered psychological behaviors and responses.

The series broke into two separate dialogues midway so that we see survival instincts kicking in as Alan attempts to help Sam in the beginning, and then we see Alan slowly become adjusted to the situation and begin to focus on himself. I mean, it really was an incredible series that touched on a lot of personal struggles that many people face but in spite of that, it still told a story without relying on the need for "quoatable dialogue". Meaning, they focused on the story rather than the main driver being a philosophical message. Not that it wasn't there, but it was crafted well enough that it felt sincere.

That being said, I was initially very disappointed with the ending. I am 100% a sucker for the satisfying ending, I like the serotonin boost. I wanted Alan to be able to apologize to his son and for his son to have some reprieve from a lifetime of rejection.

But, I woke up the next day and was still thinking about this series, a pretty rare thing for folks based on our massive consumption of movies and television. And I began to realize all the psychological aspects of the ending. He trusted Sam would send the letter to his children, he came to peace with knowing he would die and in his murder, he proved to Sam that he wouldn't be able to stop because he didn't really want to; otherwise he would've let him go.

I'm still disappointed with the ending but I genuinely appreciate how it truly ties everything together and forces you to ask yourself why it ended on such a tragic note. If you don't like it at first, sit with it. You might still have preferred a different outcome, but you'll feel less disappointed.
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Monster (2022–2024)
6/10
Bland but Decent
28 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This series came up short. While it does highlight the failures of the police and Dahmer's family throughout his crime spree, they seem more like background noise in a story with no solid direction and little momentum. It also fails to honor the majority of the victims.

There is an obvious desire to create empathy for Dahmer, but it's done without providing any sort of parallel to what would be considered normal human behavior. So we're literally thrust into the world of his broken home without any point of reference to what life SHOULD have been like by use of other "normal" characters. The only episode that successfully did this was episode 5 (Tony Hughes) and then we were tossed back into the chaos. The story of Tony is the perfect example of what the entire show had the potential of being where you care for the victim as you truly see the disconnect in Dahmer. You feel bad for Jeffrey's internal struggle but hate who he is when you realize he can't control his impulses. All while you relate to Tony's family and realize what they lost.

I think the presence of Ms Cleveland was supposed to be that consistent parallel of baseline human behavior, but again (and by no means the result of Niecy Nash's excellent performance), it comes up feeling hollow, and more like the purpose of her supporting character role was an effort to provide the actual Glenda Cleveland with the credit she deserves for her role in the actual case.

The overall feeling is that we're floating through some haphazard timeline between 1978 and 1991 where no real explanation is given for any behavior and you don't really get to know any of the victims (with the exception of Tony). It feels very surface level (even with the stellar acting from the entire cast) and confusing at what emotions the writers are trying to evoke.

It's interesting to watch, but it feels like some alternate universe, much like American Horror Story, rather than an honest portrayal of a serial killer and his victims. Are we supposed to feel bad for Jeffrey Dahmer? Are we supposed to be disgusted by him? Overall, the series does what every other series does and fails to truly honor the memory of the victims over the public's fascination with the villain.
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Old (2021)
2/10
The Script is like a Fever Dream
30 May 2022
This plays out like a foreign film directed by several different student film makers that is poorly dubbed with actors who received the script the day of recording their voiceovers.

While the camera angles and framing might be easy to overlook if there were anything else to catch your eye in the background, it's all you seem to notice as a result of the flat, one-demensional acting against a very monotone beach background. The sepia overtones really don't help this either.

As far as the actual film, there is absolutely no honest emotion from any of the actors going through what would be a truly traumatic experience. On top of the accelerated aging, the accelerated recovering time of such traumatic events is phenomenal. While movies should add some sort of fantasy to the script, these characters are completely unrelatable due to the horrendous dialogue.

This movie is genuinely so terrible it's entertaining. We literally just watched it to see how much worse it would get, and there is no reprieve. The "twist" was actually decent but it was built on such a horrible foundation, that you felt more relief that the end was in sight rather than at the answer to your questions.

Honestly, the storyline would make for a great movie in the right hands; the author of book is the real victim here and I'm sorry he has to watch his work of art die at the hands of a someone who is essentially a one-hit wonder.

I will echo another review on here and say that it does seem as if this movie were intentionally horrible.
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3/10
Not what we were all expecting.
24 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Looking over the other reviews, I can see the divide here: It seems that those already critical/apprehensive of organized religion were neither shocked or entertained. However, it seems those who grew up in a church/still attend church regularly felt both shocked and captivated.

It's honest for what it is, but it's barely the tip of the iceberg. The understated issue I felt the documentary tried to touch on was the blatant naivety among young females within the church communities and the lack of common sense about the "outside world" works or how sexual crimes work.

Although women are not the only victims here, it seems they made a point to highlight their second class citizenship within the church.

But honestly, there didn't really seem to be any particular "ah-ha" moment in the 3-episode series. It felt more like sitting in traffic for 3 hours only to find out the delay was due to a small car accident and nothing was on fire.

Overall, it's fairly dull documentary, but I'm happy that people are talking about it all the same because megachurches are truly an issue in American culture.

If you're really looking to be shocked at the manipulation and propaganda that goes on in within the church, your time would be better spent watching Jesus Camp, which is still mind-blowing 16 years later.
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3/10
Hard to believe this isn't satire.
16 April 2022
I have always had a soft spot for ghost shows and stories of hauntings, but Ghost Adventures has set a really low standard for shows of this nature and the Travel Channel producers have answered that calling with more cheap thrill trash.

So much of this is scripted; scenes where the family is discussing "findings" with the ghost team is clearly re-enacted (with terrible acting) and half of the "proof" is comprised of body sensations, gut feelings and fuzzy EVP's. This show would benefit from less production and more raw footage.

It's a great show to watch with someone who loves to laugh at over-exaggerated acting and "ghost hunters" yelling "SHOW YOURSELF YOU COWARD" at an overpaid film crew hiding in the dark.

It's a solid 3-4 star rating (out of 10) for it's kitschy entertainment value, but there is nothing tangible here if you're interested in real ghosts.
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3/10
A commentary on self-serving YouTube sleuths.
15 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
What could've been easily explained in a single hour-and-a-half documentary was stretched across four hours in which we are submerged into the slippery-slope world of internet sleuthing, mixed with tidbits of actual police and investigator work.

I support independent research and realize that the internet can sometimes be an incredibly helpful tool, but this documentary should help you realize why police rarely ask the public for help.

Conspiracy, skepticism and unnecessary personal investments in the case of a stranger's death moved all of these otherwise unconnected people to intervene in an investigation that yielded results they didn't want to hear. If you didn't already realize how cruel and frankly, stupid, the internet can be when it becomes an echo chamber of senseless and unfounded claims, prepare to find out.

From being outraged at the LAPD for withholding evidence from the public during an ACTIVE investigation, to ruining someone's form of self-expression through music because of a very small coincidence; this documentary paints the perfect picture of people desperately needing to find value in their own lives with little care as to how they might affect the lives of others.

Although the conclusion does tie up the package regarding the subtle social commentary about people whose inexperienced opinions are both unwarranted and hindering, I would not recommend going into this with the expectation that it's a serious crime documentary.
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Truth Be Told (2019–2023)
4/10
Boring
12 December 2020
I'm having a lot of trouble choosing what I disliked the most about this: the writing is mediocre, the lead character is boring and the plot leaves MUCH to be desired.

I really tried to get into this, but I found myself regularly losing focus and searching for something else to watch between episodes. While I do feel the main criminal here is the script, aside from Michael Beach and Aaron Paul, the acting is dull and forced.

As much as I like Octavia Spencer, I do not think she was not the right cast for the lead. Although it's not her fault that her character is written poorly, even her emotional scenes lack effort and depth. Poppy jumps to conclusions, her first instincts seem to change with the weather and she's generally unlikeable and unapologetic in all the wrong ways.

As far as the actual content of the show, almost all of her "ah-ha" discoveries are things that would've easily come up during initial investigations. If this we're written as a detective series instead of a series about a sub-par reporter turned podcaster, it would've been far more entertaining.

I have zero desire in watching the second season.
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The Captive (I) (2014)
5/10
Very Mediocre
20 June 2020
I really don't understand what the purpose of this film was. There was no well-defined or underlying message, there was nothing substantial between any of the events or relationships between the lead cast. Characters came into the plot and then left with no explanation or relevance. I have so many more questions than answers.

The overall story was not terrible, but the lack of depth in this film was unable hold the weight of the poorly executed, non-linear plot. In the end, the acting was the only solid foundation here.

I have the overall impression this was made to be a somewhat family-friendly movie for a dark subject in lieu of an after-school-special.
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3/10
The best part is when it's over.
14 March 2020
Be prepared for 4-hours of an emotionally-damaged cast with deep-rooted self-esteem issues. None of whom seem to care about each other's well-being, but only about their own reputations and egos. I can appreciate the fact that the documentary came full-circle and didn't try to sell you on a single idea necessarily, but it was 4 hours wasted all the same.
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Unbelievable (2019)
5/10
Alright
27 January 2020
It seems I'm the black sheep here, but I could not get into this. The overall message is so overbearing, and the excessive emphasis on how terrible rape is, makes you roll your eyes as "passionate" outbursts unfold. The acting is mediocre and the story and dialogue are bland. The chemistry between the detectives is underwhelming and forced. You can feel that they were grasping at straws trying to find filler for approximately 8 hours of content.

The only solid performance here is that of Marie, which was the only reason I pulled through until the end. She was certainly the star.

There was potential here, but the execution was dull, and I will most certainly be brain dumping this series shortly after this review is complete.
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8/10
Happy with it.
16 December 2018
Honestly, I think this hit the mark far better than the massive wave of reboots we've seen over the last decade, more specifically, Netflix.

Of course people are going to disagree, I clearly see that from the large amount of poor reviews, but as nostalgic as this is for myself as well, I was not disappointed.

I appreciate the modern pop culture references during the movie commentary, and the banter during intermission(s) still made me laugh. Though the use of newer films that are specifically made to be low-budget and terrible, sort of takes away from the "low budget" and "special effects" jokes, I still feel they made it work in their own MST3K way.

Definitely could've done without the arm movements of Felicia Day (nit-picking), but if I'm being honest, I've only ever really cared for the trio anyway and not so much the Dr. Forrestor scenes, so it doesn't really change the format for me the same as it might others.

Overall, I feel like the show stuck to its roots and that social evolution and two decades between the series accounts for most of changes that people are disappointed in. A lot of these wrinkles will likely iron out over time but it will certainly not please everyone, especially those picking at technicalities.

I say give it a shot, I was skeptical but very pleased.
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9/10
This is a show with two parts.
2 December 2018
There is a consistency to the poorer reviews that needs to be addressed for potiential viewers. Obviously no series is ever a series for everyone, this one is no different, but I felt moved enough by it to write a review/explanation for the more negative reviews main issue.

Hill House falling under the genre of "horror" puts certain expectations on this series that, while there, also bleeds into an aspect of the "drama" genre that is vividly different than what someone looking for a horror story is likely anticipating.

During the first part of Hill House, you will find the history of the characters and the course of their lives after their experience at Hill House. The actual "haunting", with no cheap scares to make you roll your eyes and no embellishments or over-done character development.

This is the foundation for the second half where we are introduced to just how broken and dysfunctional this family actually is, and how this small part of their lives has fractured them deeply. The second half is basically a family recognizing itself as shattered and figuring out how to be a family.

This is where everything begins to separate from the first half, where we have longer dialogues and are taken to the deeper damage of the characters we're now invested in, it's a slow descent from the level of supernatural mystic that the first half showered is with, but it's equally fulfilling.

The first and second half are recognizably different but compliment each other very well with a wonderful transition from episode to episode. I sincerely enjoyed the ending and didn't have 900 unanswered questions because I was genuinely satisfied with the storytelling.

I think it's a beautifully written series of horror, human tragedy and family, and I would certainly say it's worth a try.
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Bachelorette (2012)
2/10
No
12 November 2017
Two stars for somehow convincing these actors that this script was worth the permanent scar on their filmography. Although people are, indeed, this selfish; even mildly decent movies are written around relatable qualities that don't make you feel like you spent 90 minutes of your time hating the fact that you might somehow be as selfish as any of these girls.

Absolutely terrible, no unique personalities, no character growth, just complete awfulness. This pretty great cast couldn't even hold the thin plot and poorly written humor "romcom" together because there is no way a single actor related to the one-dimensional aspects of this awful movie.
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Wolf Creek 2 (2013)
2/10
skinniest cash cow ever
1 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I wasn't super impressed with the first Wolf Creek, but it had enough psychological elements to keep it going. And although I LOVE gore/slasher flicks, there are certain films that just don't fit that bill; this is one of them and it's absolutely terrible.

There were moments I squirmed in my seat, but it wasn't from fear, it was from sheer embarrassment knowing that grown men (probably with families to support) blatantly stole money from the producers, wrote a crappy movie that took 2 lines of coke and some whiskey to write overnight, and pocketed the rest to save up for a 3rd (just wait, it's going to happen).

They noticeably tried to make Mick into a character we want to see more of, but he's no Jason Voerhees, Michael or Charles Lee Ray. Each of these characters has a history and a reason for their madness; Mick is just crass and one-dimensional.

On top of stupid mistakes like creating fires all over the place after you mutilate bodies (two of which are officers), when you could just as easily roll a car into the outback and no one would be any wiser, it's just plain mean-spirited.

Pointless (and atrocious CGI) kangaroo slaughtering, shooting an old woman in the back and then point-blank in the face. You can't mix realistic psychological horror elements with nonsense, if you're going to try to break the rules of the slasher/serial killer genre, do it well or don't do it at all...

I hate that I watched this movie.
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Annabelle (I) (2014)
3/10
No thanks.
1 November 2015
In comparison to the over-saturated supernatural horror genre, sure, this is alright.

I'm not sure what the budget was or where it actually went, but I hope the snacks on-set where phenomenal because ain't nobody getting paid anything extra for this.

One credit due is "The Barclay" building, I felt like a total nerd for picking-up on that, but like a Queen for finding an ounce of respect in a total flop of a film.

Bad acting, poor character development, thin plot and no juice. I'd rather ride a trolley in the dark with a monotone tour guide than watch this again.
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Just Friends (I) (2005)
2/10
Never Again
29 July 2014
As I scrolled down to my 1 star ratings and saw the other titles, I felt adding this to a rank with House of a Thousand Corpses and Seed of Chucky was a bit harsh. Regardless, I still felt the need to take a shower after watching this movie; however, let me tell you that the stink of bad movie does not wash off easily.

The only thing that saved this from being 1 star was a fat suit, retainer-wearing Ryan Reynolds singing I Swear. During no other point in the 96 minutes of this cinematic torture tactic did I find this movie amusing, captivating or funny. Not only did it stick to the overly-predictable chick-flick formula that keeps you one step ahead of the writers, but I could not find myself able to relate to a single character on any one-dimensional level.

Aside from the fact that every romance movie is (understandably) completely unrealistic, this one takes it a step further and adds a total realm of normalcy to what should absolutely be awkwardness from a 10 year long cold-shoulder. I will never think about this movie again--it has officially been filed with the rest of my regrets, even the regret where I was rejected by the fat boy with the tiny backpack when I asked him out in High School. Yeah, that really happened. In short, I hated this movie.
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Hugo (2011)
8/10
Beautiful
3 July 2013
Based on the other reviews, this film seems to be very hit or miss. I'm not quite sure what those who gave the film poor reviews were expecting, but this movie was wonderfully done. Some say it wasn't realistic, but I've seen very few movies that are and were capable of being entertaining as well. Even reality television isn't realistic.

This film relies heavily on your own imagination and I will admit, would probably be quite boring if you lacked any. It does not have a thick, twisting plot that pulls you though, but it does have quality of sentiment and beautiful character development. Plain and simple, you will either truly enjoy it and take something from it or you will feel completely bored by it, but don't look for anything bad or good in it, just watch it.
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