breezygirl Reviews

Fifteen (1990– )

a cast of 12! nickelodeon's worst show ever!

[18 August 2005]

i have a high threshold for pain: i watched pretty much every episode of "fifteen" when they originally aired. i agree that this is one of the worst shows ever produced and actually aired on television. the "school" consisted of a hallway with a handful of 3 lockers and a lot of empty space. there are maybe 2 or 3 extras, bringing the total school population to about 12. "fifteen" makes "saved by the bell" look like a high class production with good acting. my all time favorite/most hated character was the scheming brook who was oh-so-subtle in her glaring looks and commentary out loud to herself. i can't believe nickelodeon aired this multiple times throughout the week. they should have stuck with more "double dare" reruns.

best nickelodeon show ever: "roundhouse."

Carman: The Champion (2001)

like an afterschool special...but starring Carman

[23 November 2004]

You may have seen Carman on Christian television networks preaching or explaining eternal damnation in vivid detail. He is also known in the Christian community for his varied music styles -- everything from southern gospel to rap. Yes, rap. This seems to be his attempt at a more mainstream type of "Christian" movie. I don't know that this movie received any type of mainstream success.

What surprised me the most about this movie is how watered down the Christian message is. I would have expected Carman to pull out all the stops, fitting the salvation message in every nook and cranny. In place of a specifically Christian message is a predictable schlocky tale of a former boxer trying to help kids without a chance. Various thug stereotypes are intermixed throughout, along with some romance with a single mom.

There is pretty much no value to this movie besides some actors that got a paycheck. It's just bad enough; but not enough for much MST3K-type commentary. If you are going to go the christian route, find a film that's about the life of Jesus. Otherwise, who cares? You can watch an episode of "Saved by the Bell" and at least that is marginally funny and has about the same quality of a message.