wee-steeve93

Wrath of the Titans (2012)

Turn off your brain and you might enjoy

Not a good movie. Here's what happens:

Zeus asks Perseus for help yet again and Perseus says something along the lines of "Noooo, I'll never leave my son". So five minutes later after a random demon attacks his village, what does he do? Yeah, you guessed it. After he leaves his son, he rides his trusty steed, Pegasus (who appears out of nowhere, for no reason) to a military camp. Meanwhile, Zeus, Poseidon and Hades are meeting in the underworld, along with Zeus's son, Ares. Surprise, surprise, evil Hades betrays his brothers and teams up with Ares, who is jealous of Perseus for having his father's admiration. Zeus is captured and his powers are sapped, to allow his father Cronos to escape imprisonment in Tartarus.

Anyway Poseidon escapes and dies shortly after giving Perseus his trident and his next epic quest: to save Zeus.

An irrelevant quest follows, with the introduction of some pretty undeveloped and pointless characters. They head out on a boat, with the son of Poseidon to find the person who forged the Gods weapons, and also Tartarus. Pegasus is apparently left with the other horses in the military camp, his only purpose: to have Perseus fly to the camp instead of walking, because walking a long distance is not interesting.

The crew reach an island and after walking a pretty long distance through a forest, run in to a Cyclops. Confusion ensues as he seems to be doing two things at once... turns out there's two of them. Perseus does what he does best: survives when he would clearly die, and they all become the best of friends.

The Cyclopes lead them to Bill Nighy, he tells them all about the prison Tartarus. It's so intricate and complex to stop Cronos escaping! Remember that at the end when he gets out no problem. The squad make there way to the prison and are attacked and outmatched by Ares; Bill Nighy and Sam Worthington couldn't care less.

They travel through the labyrinth, entrance to Tartarus, we've been told it messes with your mind. This is shown through the friends being angry at each other like schoolchildren for a short while. Perseus is separated from the group and encounters the most pathetic Minotaur, which of course throws him around for a while instead of killing him. It charges and gets it's horns stuck in the wall. Instead of killing the Minotaur while stuck, he breaks off its horns... Our hero defeats the monster of course and is somehow reunited with his friends, even though he fell pretty far away from them and it's a huge labyrinth.

Zeus talks his brother Hades in to being good, with two sentences, even though he's pretty evil. The gang turn up for the rescue.

The only way to defeat Cronos, it seems, is to join Zeus' lightning bolt, Hades' pitchfork and Poseiden's trident (all powerful, which would have came in handy in the first film) in to some super weapon. Ares should probably be aware of this, since it involves his close family, but decides to throw the pitchfork at Zeus, now Percy has the trident and pitchfork. He might have thought to throw it in to the surrounding lava, and they could never beat Cronos, but oh well.

Now something happened which completely broke the movie: dying Zeus is taken to the military camp and left alone. If only Zeus' power relied on prayer and there was thousands of soldiers around, Zeus would be pretty darn powerful. Nope. Nobody thought of this. Not even Zeus. Hades shows up though and gives most of his power to revive Zeus. Didn't the first film show us that Hades gets his power from peoples fear? Hades should be pretty powerful if everyone knew Cronos was coming to get them. Nope. Either everyone is pretty fearless or Hades is on a diet.

Anyway, while this is happening, random monsters (Lord knows where they came from) attack the soldiers, who die in the hundreds. They could have just said a few prayers for Zeus and they'd be fine, he dispatches the monsters easily after being revived, with a few prayers the soldiers might as well have gone for a lay down.

Perseus rides Pegasus to meet Ares for a fight. Even though he has Perseus' son hostage, he doesn't even make him drop his weapons, just starts fighting. Just the kind of fight you would expect, Perceus is thrown around instead of just killed, and of course ends up winning because of the bad guys overconfidence. Ares of course brought the final piece of the super weapon puzzle for Percy to use. He could have left it literally anywhere else and the weapon couldn't be finished.

Zeus and his new BFF, Hades team up to kill the demons, apparently they're all killed within two minutes. Cronos emerges. Apparently the labyrinth was no use for restraining him, only there because somebody wanted a Minotaur in the movie. So Cronos kills people, in as boring a fashion as any massive volcano man. We're supposed to be impressed. Perseus flies in on Pegasus with the finished weapon. flying through fire and lava but not being harmed, not even acquiring black ash on the face like you would expect. he flies in Cronos' mouth for some reason and drops the weapon. Before it explodes to kill Cronos, he seems to blow Zeus against a rock which is apparently fatal.

Percy rides back and Zeus stands up, he looks fine but for some reason he's going to die, Percy could say a prayer and he wouldn't, but whatever. Zeus dies, Worthington shows no emotion.

Movie ends with an awkward father-son chat. Looks to be setting up a sequel about the kid. I can hardly wait.

The one lesson this film teaches, is that you should pray to Zeus and you wont have to get yourself killed.