Threepwood_Lives Reviews

Looper (2012)

Looper is big goofy sci-fi pulp

[9/10 · 8 March 2014]

Re: In the distant future, time travel exists. However, it is a closely guarded secret of the crime syndicate, which uses it exclusively to eliminate bodies. They send the person to be whacked back to the less distant future where men called Loopers kill and dispose of the bodies. When a Looper is to be retired, the crime syndicate sends back the future version of the Looper to be killed by his younger self. He then gets a big payday and retires. Unless the Looper sees that it's his older self and hesitates long enough for the old version to escape and attempt to kill the leader of the syndicate as a child.... Ahh Sci-Fi - where the explanation of the plot is half of the fun.

Outstanding: Really beautifully realized future world with a combination of current and futuristic tech. Some effective music. Great performances from the entire cast.

Unacceptable: The story, when you break down the basics is ludicrous. JGL's prosthetics and the over-sized future anime guns are both a bit goofy.

Summary: Some great sci-fi action here! I really enjoyed virtually every aspect of this flick from the daffy idea held down by great performances to the casual way future tech is allowed to slip in at unexpected times. I'd never noticed how much Joseph Levitt and Bruce Willis sounded alike until the voice-over here. LOOPER is very highly recommended!

5/5

Ender's Game (2013)

Technically good but emotionally disappointing

[6/10 · 8 March 2014]

Reviews Of Unusual Size:

Re: A young boy is recruited to be a young soldier, training to enter the battle against a space menace called The Buggers.

Outstanding: Great special effects. The designers found the right balance between alien and realistic and there were some subtle touches I really liked. Asa Butterfield was really great in this. Intense and smart yet small and vulnerable.

Unacceptable: Technically speaking, there wasn't anything to complain about. The acting was strong and the story followed the book well. Coupled with the special effects it should have been a great flick.

Summary: However, there was never really the sense of overwhelming responsibility I'd always gotten from the novel. It had always had a mix of duty and kids playing games and this movie never quite pulled off either of those. Overall, while watchable, I don't think Ender's Game ever gelled the way it could have.

3/5

Movie 43 (2013)

SO many actors.

[2/10 · 8 March 2014]

Re: A jumble of big name actors embarrass themselves to add decks to their summer houses.

Outstanding: I actually thought the Chloe Moretz sketch was pretty funny, the reactions of the boys/men to a girl's problem was pretty spot on. I chucked a couple of other times, mostly due to initial surprise or cussing leprechauns. The actors, of which there are many good ones, totally committed to their roles.

Unacceptable: Like every sketch show ever, nearly all of the skits went on too long and relied too much on gross out comedy. And bad writing.

Summary: Not worth watching again in any real way shape or form. Ugh.

1/5

Blackthorn (2011)

A Decent Entry In The OLD COWBOY Library

[9/10 · 9 January 2012]

Reviews Of Unusual Size

Re: Butch Cassidy never died. He hid out in Bolivia and bred horses. Found himself a little lady and a cabin. Then he decided to head north and visit his Niece. His horse runs off with his money and he ends up with a troublesome varmint that has $50,000 Sterling he's stolen from a group of miners. Cassidy, going by the name Blackthorn decides to help the man.

Outstanding: Filmed beautifully and directed with a solid hand that really shows the vivid beauty of the locations. Sam Shepard is a great actor and looks so excellent in this. He also has surprisingly pitch perfect comedic chops.

Unacceptable: The story is pretty far-fetched and Blackthorn gets hornswaggled too easily, even for an old feller.

Summary: I'm a total sucker for westerns and this is a good one. A classic "Old Cowboy Takes One Last Ride" movie. Strong script and great acting. I recommend it highly. A note - The screener copy I watched did not have subtitles for the Spanish language portions of the film, which is probably around 1/3 of the dialogue. I assume the final release has them, but it did make certain scenes hard to follow.

4/5

The Walking Dead: Pretty Much Dead Already (2011) Season 2, Episode 7

Finally back on track

[9/10 · 29 November 2011]

From Reviews Of Unusual Size

Re: Glen finally tells the group his big secret and Laurie does the same. Shane gets pretty fed up with pretty much everyone.

Outstanding: Now this is more like it! Some little jabs of humor, plenty of zombies, good effects, some excellent evocative performances and the story finally progresses past pathos and bitchy whining.

Unacceptable: I'm still not entirely sure what Dale was doing in the swamp or why the rest of Hershel's crew seems to have absolutely no personality at all. (The adorable Maggie excepted, of course)

Summary: This is what I had expected the entire series to be like. Shocks, twisty characters and some genuine horror. The music was pretty powerful this episode too.

The Walking Dead: What Lies Ahead (2011) Season 2, Episode 1

Decent Second Season Opener

[8/10 · 18 October 2011]

Originally posted on Reviews Of Unusual Size

Re: The shell-shocked crew head... somewhere. The don't get far, running into a huge accident blocking the highway. Then they lose a member during a zombie attack.

Outstanding: Some great, tense horror moments in this episode, especially in the tense early moments of the attack. The actors here run the gamut from over the top and up, but I really like Andrew Lincoln in this.

Unacceptable: Unfortunately, a few little things let this episode down, mostly the ludicrously sloppy autopsy, the constant gun argument and the director's tendency to cut away to the reaction shots during action scenes. I know this is a TV show, but the first season had no qualms. But they had a budget, too.

Summary: Overall a decent second season opener, and a huge improvement over the last season's big CDC-CGI extravaganza.

Free Agents: What I Did for Work (2011) Season 1, Episode 2

Ugh

[27 September 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size! Re: A big client threatens to leave the agency Hank Azaria works for. So he takes the guy out on the town and tries to find him some ladylike company.

Outstanding: Hank Azaria somehow manages to be hilarious, just standing around. So does Anthony Stewart Head, as Azaria's shameless boss.

Unacceptable: Predictable, boring, obvious and silly.

Summary: I inadvertently watched this episode, thinking it was the premiere, but it didn't make a difference. It was still boring and pretty bad TV. I'll watch the (correct) pilot and maybe another episode, but only because I like Azaria a lot and because it takes place in Portland, Oregon.

2 Broke Girls: Pilot (2011) Season 1, Episode 1

Not 2 Bad

[27 September 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size! Re: When an ousted New York socialite is hired at a diner, the spoiled blond forms an unlikely friendship with the streetwise waitress that works there.

Outstanding: Kat Dennings has some pretty great deadpan humor.

Unacceptable: The setup for this TV show is horrible. The cute old black guy that mans the register at the diner should be hilarious, instead he's just mildly amusing. There's more blatant sexual humor than I'd expected.

Summary: I was kind of surprised. I should have disliked this show, but I actually laughed out loud a couple of times and I'm looking forward to the next episode. There's nothing I can pin down as excellent, but it's an amusing little sitcom. Why do they always title the first episode "Pilot"? I know it's because it's a pilot, produced to get the other episodes, but it seems like you'd be optimistic and give your first episode a legit title.

2 Broke Girls: And the Break-Up Scene (2011) Season 1, Episode 2

Not as good.

[27 September 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size! Re: The girls get in a fight about breaking up with Max's boyfriend, eat cupcakes and fall in horse poo.

Outstanding: Still somewhat amusing. The cute old black guy was cuter and blacker than before.

Unacceptable: The horse poo looked nothing like actual horse poo, the Bacon and Cool Ranch chips they were eating only said "Ranch" on the package. A drop in quality from the last episode.

Summary: A pretty severe drop. Either that, or I was in an easier to please mood for that last episode. The jokes were worse and came less often than the last episode. I'll still watch a couple, but this was disappointing.

New Girl: Pilot (2011) Season 1, Episode 1

I love Zooey, this show... Not so much.

[2/10 · 25 September 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: A newly single girl in the city moves in with three young men. There, she sings her own theme song, watches Dirty Dancing and other quirky things people do on TV shows.

Outstanding: Zooey is so darn cute!

Unacceptable: The rules for the house's Douchebag Jar are completely arbitrary - that jar should be overflowing by now.

Summary: I watched this show, and I'll probably watch the next episode, but not because I laughed once or found any of the supporting characters appealing, it's just that, even when she's doing stupid, silly, unrealistic things, I can't resist Zooey's charm.

The Unknown (2005)

Clawing My Eyes Out

[25 September 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: Sasquatch is killing people in the woods, so a few drunk hunters and stereotyped high school kids decide to dink around in the woods for an hour of my life.

Outstanding: The Bigfoot costume was pretty decent for a B-Movie.

Unacceptable: The music was overbearing, the acting wooden, the story non-existent and even worse, the whole shambling mess was as boring as watching plaster dry in a footprint casting.

Summary: It's a bad sign when the most charismatic actor in a movie is the "blond bimbo" whose only purpose is to take her clothes off and act as a plot exposition device. Which would have been fine, if the Sasquatch had been cooler or acted less randomly. And really? The native American deputy was named John Eagleheart? Was the name Indian Plentywampum already taken?

1/5

The Wild Hunt (2009)

A Dark Hunt

[25 September 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: An intense session of LARPing (Live Action Role Playing) gets out of control when a man breaks the veil of fantasy in an attempt to win back his girlfriend.

Outstanding: Some very strong performances here. Great sets and physical effects. Despite the dark tone of the film, there are some moments of humor. I love the poster.

Unacceptable: Some actors were a little questionable, but thanks to the blurring of reality and LARP life, that never impacted the emotion of the movie. Some reviewers claim that the world of LARPing is inaccurately portrayed. The music could be overbearing at times. I have no idea how Erik managed to speak in his angry viking voice the entire movie without losing his voice.

Summary: This was a very bleak film. I figured it would go down the path it took, but I was surprised at how cohesive the entire movie felt as a whole. There are some excellent performances, especially from the two brothers and the referee, who deserves more praise for her part. This is not a pleasant movie - it's almost Coen Brothers-esque and you wont leave it with a good feeling, but it is worth watching. An interesting take on the potential violence within us.

4/5

Game of Thrones: Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things (2011) Season 1, Episode 4

A Misstep In The Kingdom

[4/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: There's a joust, some detective work, brother and sister bickering and a dwarf in a tight spot.

Outstanding: Like the previous episodes, number five has some great acting and sets. I'm consistently impressed with the King's Landing location, the grandeur with just the right amount of lived in feeling.

Unacceptable: This episode felt pretty light on plot and I think part of that was the direction. The joust was woefully short and severely lacked the grandeur and spectacle it needed.

Summary: A lot happened, but it felt like the whole episode was a waste of time. It was odd that as I watched it, I was enjoying everything but as the credits rolled, I felt like I hadn't watched anything worth remembering. The strains of a TV budget are showing a bit here and there, with the small, straggling Horde of Dothraki and the abbreviated joust.

2/5

Moon (2009)

A Stellar, Smart Science Fiction Film

[10/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: Astronaut Sam Bell, who has spent the last few years on a solitary assignment on the moon, watchdogging a mining conglomeration of machines, is nearing the end of his shift. He's fallen into a decent, if claustrophobic routine, sculpting a small village, checking the machines, chatting with his computerized nanny, GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey). But he starts to have some problems. Spiralling deeper into what may be insanity, Sam starts to question almost everything, including his very existence.

Outstanding: This movie was fantastic. Rockwell is amazing and funny and tragic, sometimes all in the same scene and GERTY, with it's animated emoticon screen and deadpan voice is pitch-perfect.

Unacceptable: The only thing that I think is unacceptable about this movie is that I can't watch it every night.

Summary: Jones directs this with a calm hand, swooping through the abandoned base smoothly, giving the entire movie a bit of an alien feel and Rockwell,, who I like in a lot of things gives one of his best performances. I'm not normally a huge Sci-Fi fan, but movies like this really hook me. A fantastic movie.

5/5

Notes: Duncan Jones is the son of David Bowie, and his second film, Source Code has just been released.

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Good Teeth, Crap Movie

[4/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: An idealistic hobo arrives in a town ruled by some guy that should have had an Irish accent judging by his dialogue. He and his sons rule the town with sadistic violence and drugs. The hobo hoped to buy a lawnmower. He ends up with a shotgun instead.

Outstanding: An homage to 70's grindhouse splatter, HWAS revels in gallons of bright red blood and over the top violence. Rutger Hauer is immensely watchable the entire film and the music is spot on.

Unacceptable: Everyone else, however operates at a high school drama club level of overacting and the director makes a shambling mess of black lights and dodgy effects.

Summary: I wanted to love this movie, and at times I was overjoyed, but most of the time, I was bored out of my mind with the nonsensical attempts to one up the previous scene in the violence department. Hauer is great, there's a few good lines, inexplicable giant tentacles and a sadly underused Sawed-Off Shotgun/Axe, but that can't save this mess of a film.

2/5

Feast (2005)

A Snack

[8/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: A bar full of characters in the middle of nowhere is attacked by a band of horrible creatures.

Outstanding: Throws a lot of the rules out of the window, along with some surprising characters in this goofy, gory movie. No one is safe, and the monsters are a creepy combination of hulking horrors and rags of bones and skins that are surprisingly resourceful. Also, Henry Rollins plays a somewhat dorky motivational speaker - That's pretty awesome.

Unacceptable: A lot of the actions scenes were filmed horribly. I don't understand why a director thinks they have to throw the camera around the room to make a scene exciting. Some of the humorously gory parts were lame, over the top things that made me roll my eyes.

Summary: I'd heard of this flick before, but never really paid it much attention. While the plot was something I love, I get annoyed with shaky-cam gross out horror pretty quick. But this had Jenny Wade in it, and I'm suffering from some serious "Good Guys" withdrawal, so I checked it out. It was pretty fun. It's saved from being just another splatter film by ingenious monster designs, some decent acting and surprising twists.

4/5

Troll Hunter (2010)

Cross This Bridge

[9/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: A trio of wannabe news reporters stumble across a mysterious man while following a story about a dead bear. Thinking he's a poacher, they trail him until his true occupation is revealed - He's a hunter of Trolls!

Outstanding: Totally serious, hilarious and well made, this movie was a joy to watch. They stick incredibly close to the legendary descriptions of trolls, from their fear of sunlight to their ability to smell Christians.

Unacceptable: This is a subtitled movie and all filmed from a hand held camera, documentary style, so if that isn't your thing, you might not like it, but I found it actually increased my enjoyment in this case. And there were a couple scenes that were obviously not filmed by the trio, mostly establishing shots while they were driving that spoiled the illusion somewhat.

Summary: Apart from the amount of time spent driving around, which, while a bit boring, increased the feeling of realism, I loved every inch of this movie. There was some great humor and action and the special effects and sound was top notch!

5/5

Game of Thrones: Winter Is Coming (2011) Season 1, Episode 1

A Game Worth Playing

[8/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: Based on the novels by George R.R. Martin, Game Of Thrones tells of a land of seven kingdoms, surrounded by intrigue, death, sex, family duty and what men and women are willing to do to sit on the iron throne.

Outstanding: I loved the title sequence, I thought it was beautiful and clever. The casting in this is great, with a lot of small name (or no name) actors and everyone is very good. The settings and costumes are elaborate and realistic.

Unacceptable: A few of the scenes in this episode felt poorly shot/acted, with lingering shots of characters doing something a bit awkwardly to drag out the dramatic tension. I have a hard time seeing them sandwich the entire book into a ten episode series without it feeling rushed.

Summary: So far, a gallant effort by the filmmakers. The world of the seven kingdoms is beautiful and dangerous and the characters are right out of the books, with a lot of the dialogue true to the source material. I knew from the get go that I was going to be all about Peter Dinklage as the dwarf Tyrion and sure enough, he's spectacular, but I was very pleasantly surprised by how much I liked Joseph Mawle as Benjen. I've never seen him in anything else, but I really dig him. A promising start.

4/5

Game of Thrones: The Kingsroad (2011) Season 1, Episode 2

Still Good

[8/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size

Re: Ned regretfully leaves his broken and unconscious son behind, along with his wife and eldest son to head off and be the King's Hand. Jon travels north to join the watch, accompanied by Tyrion, who wants to urinate off the edge of the world. And Daenerys learns the art of love in a time of horses.

Outstanding: A little better than the first episode in my opinion. The stories are starting to solidify and everyone seems to do a great job here.

Unacceptable: The little scene in the tower with the long golden hair made me roll my eyes a bit. A little bit of pandering to the audience that might be a bit confused, I guess.

Summary: A strong second episode. Not too radically better or worse, but the first was pretty dang good, so no complaints there.

4/5

Game of Thrones: Lord Snow (2011) Season 1, Episode 3

I love Syrio

[8/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size! Re: Jon tries to adjust to life on the wall, Tyrion Pees, Arya practices, Richard drinks, the Lannister's scheme and Ned tries to adjust to life in the King's court.

Outstanding: This was a pretty enjoyable episode, considering it was mostly about people wandering around and getting used to the new status quo. Then Syrio, Arya's "Dancing" instructor showed up and it became the best thing ever.

Unacceptable: There might have been something I disliked, but the last scene wiped it away.

Summary: Seriously, Syrio is so awesome, I can't stand it. He was in it for like.... 5 minutes, tops and he's my favorite character. The scenes on the wall were really great too, the way Tyrion subtly helps Jon. Man, I love the casting in this show.

4/5

Tangled (2010)

Pleasantly Twisted

[9/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: Rapunzel, modern Disney style.

Outstanding: This was a really cute movie. Some good doses of humor and action, with nicely stylized character designs and settings. Ron Perlman!

Unacceptable: Really, the only thing that bothered me was the lack of any really catchy songs.

Summary: Overall, a very enjoyable, adorable movie. Goofy and humorous animal sidekicks, a spunky heroine, a good natured, somewhat dorky hero, over the top villains... Sounds like a good little Disney cartoon to me!

5/5

Mini's First Time (2006)

Mini's First Is Pretty Ho-Hum

[4/10 · 15 May 2011]

Reviews Of Unusual Size!

Re: Mini, a spoiled and rebellious teen joins an escort agency, flirts shamelessly with everyone she meets, hooks up with her stepdad and plans a murder or two.

Outstanding: This flick is unabashedly mean-spirited and nasty. There's not anyone in it with any real redeeming qualities and Reed plays her part to a tee.

Unacceptable: Unfortunately, it isn't a huge amount of fun either.

Summary: There are some movies that are so mean they're a kick to watch, and there are some good spots in this movie, but most of it is too bitchy to be very enjoyable.

2/5

The Green Hornet (2011)

Creative Fight Scenes

[6/10 · 15 May 2011]

Re: The spoiled rotten partyboy son of a slightly dickish newspaper magnate suddenly finds himself with a dead father, a Chinese mechanic/barrista, a sweet, sweet car and a mask. He decides to be... well... not really a criminal or a hero... more of a well financed vandal, for the most part.

Outstanding: This movie was directed really well. I love Gondry's previous movies (Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind is one of my favorite movies), and he imbues this one with a steady hand and a few innovative techniques. I especially love the scenes with Kato, both his fighting and the sly sense of humor. Waltz is great too, playing a crime lord with a few insecurities.

Unacceptable: I was kind of annoyed at the point halfway through the movie, when the two started bickering like little kids and got into a fistfight, but apart from that, the movie was a bunch of dumb, slick fun. Oh, and Cameron Diaz is in it as a smart/stupid secretary. She annoys me, but there are some funny jabs at her expense.

Summary: Seth Rogan wrote, produced, starred and slimmed down for this movie, and while he played the same stoned loser that he usually plays, if you like Rogan, you'll like him here. The movie is a little uneven and I found myself losing interest halfway through, when the witty banter and goofy action devolved into a giant gunfight and arguments, but it was a lot better than I'd expected.

3/5

Notes: Nicolas Cage initially planned to play Chudnofsky, the villain that was eventually played by Waltz, but dropped out when Gondry thought his plans to play the character with a Jamaican accent were... really stupid.

Welcome to Collinwood (2002)

Fast, Brainless Fun!

[7/10 · 20 September 2003]

I had tried to rent this on many occasions, but was always with the girlfriend, who, as a general rule, usually rejects heist flicks and ensemble comedies with the comment "Uhm... looks good, but i'm not in the mood for that movie." Thus entereth the "Almighty Solo Movie Night"!

Anyway, I found Welcome To Collinwood a rather enjoyable movie. While ultimately fairly forgettable, it does have moments of fun and a few laugh out loud moments. I was unfamiliar with the fact that it was a remake, and as a general rule watch movies trying to ignore that fact and watch them on their own merits anyway. George Clooney puts in a humorous and brief cameo as a wheeled safe cracker that, for the most part left me wondering two things... 1. wouldn't every comedy be better if Mr. Clooney put in a strange 5 minute cameo? and 2. How do they make fake tattoos that look old and faded, and how easily do they wash off? The cast, all fine actors in their own right, put in a great job, and you get the impression that they had a good time working together which is fairly important in a movie like this. Needless to say all does not go as planned in this movie, both plot-wise and humor-wise, but it made me check out the special features and consider watching the original, so I consider it a success! Rent this one for a good time, maybe grab a few friends and a pizza. you'll have a good time.

***7/10***

On a side note, the soundtrack is spectacular. It's great to hear the far under appreciated Paolo Conte used, and it left me humming snippets of the score long after the credits rolled.

Anaconda (1997)

Horrible Snake, not as Horrible Movie

[5/10 · 20 September 2003]

I can't help but be intrigued by a movie like this, being a B-movie and Monster movie fan. Anaconda is already set up to be a schlock dream and a cinema lover's nightmare, and I actually found myself really enjoying a large portion of this film. The jungle scenes are both atmospheric and lush and there are times when things are genuinely creepy. Unfortunately, a large portion of the atmosphere is destroyed once the anaconda shows up, quite early in the movie. When all you can see are the flanks of the creature, moist and sinuous, it looks great but when shown from a distance or just the head in close up, the creature looks horribly CGd, or very Puppet-like, respectively. The biggest fright I received from this was the list of somewhat respectable (or at least known) stars! Check it out! And they all seem to be having a giant snake of a time acting in what is obviously not ever intended to be a piece of art. Big snake, Horrible Voight Accent, JLo-back when she was attractive and innocent, and Luke Wilson! Watch with friends, or booze.

MY RATING: As a work of cinema---2/10 With tongue planted firmly in cheek---8/10 Overall---5/10

DVD features: INTERACTIVE MENUS! wow, indeed. Also, full or widescreen and a full screen trailer

Features Rating: 1/10