merricatnyc Reviews

The Bucket List (2007)

You know which camp you're in.

[3/10 · 5 January 2008]

You know that movie where Morgan Freeman is the dignified black man who helps some messed up white person become a better human being?

You know that movie where Jack Nicholson is a jerk with a heart of gold with a nugget of jerk at the center?

Put all 50 of those movies into a blender with a dash of brain cancer and a not so surprising surprise ending and you have Bucket List.

If you're not tasting bile in the back of your mouth right now, you should click over to Fandango and get your tix. There is no in between.

I felt it to be the worst kind of made by committee corporate dreck, but I've been moved to laugh and cry at movies that could be described the same way. I loathed it, but can see what is appealing about it to others. It's important to understand what you're getting into before you shell out two hours of your life for it, that's all I'm saying.

The Banger Sisters (2002)

pulse-pounding terror

[21 February 2004]

I don't know about the rest of this film, but the first half hour is the the most horrifying thing ever. Goldie Hawn's c*******ing leatherface is MUCH MUCH scarier than the one on that chainsaw wielding guy.

The humming telegraphs and dropping anvils leave little question about how this plot is going to play out. (psst--I think they're both going to learn some Valuable Lessons) The only mystery is did Geoffrey Rush lose a bet?

Down with Love (2003)

Almost entirely sickening

[1/10 · 12 February 2004]

Though this was promoted as an homage to late 50's-early 60's sex comedies, it plays as a snarky and contemptuous slam of same. The script is heavy-handed, sarcastic, and crushingly unfunny. Rene Zellwegger's smirking and prancing is utterly loathsome. Ewan McGregor is more wooden than I thought possible.

In all fairness, the costumes are lovely and David Hyde Pierce gives pretty good Tony Randall.

Do yourself a favor--skip this trash and just watch Pillow Talk. Or Sex and the Single Girl. Or paint drying.

Butterfly and Sword (1993)

I don't need no stinking plot

[6/10 · 20 January 2004]

I own this movie on DVD, have watched it several times, and still wouldn't even attempt to give a more in depth plot summary than "There are political factions. They seem to want something. They kill lots of people."

Who knows what this flick is about.

But with the glorious Michelle Yeoh looking especially radiantly beautiful and ripping heads out at the root through the unadulterated power of her fabulous costumes, who cares? Add in the always charming, greatly lamented Tony Leung as her innocuous-secret-identity-guy brother, a plot would almost get in the way.

If you can embrace the sacrifice of story in favor of pure action and character development in favor of raw screen power, you will have a great time watching this movie.

Ghost Ship (2002)

Fangoria readers must see opening

[6/10 · 17 January 2004]

The movie as a whole is moderately diverting and worth a watch if you don't have anything better to do.

The first five minutes is unadulterated genius--without serious competition, the most hypnotically poetic use of pure gore ever committed to film.

Take or leave the rest of it, but the first little bit is breathtakingly glorious cinematic history.

Juwanna Mann (2002)

Not nearly so bad as you'd think

[5/10 · 17 January 2004]

Your standard "jerk finds his humanity through identification with an Other" formula comedy. In this case, the Other is a female--which is usually a recipe for disaster unless the jerk is Dustin Hoffman.

I let this run as background noise after another movie ended, and was surprised to find myself watching it and even laughing a few times. I can't recommend spending money on a rental, but if it comes on cable you could do worse.

Back to the Future (1985)

All about the Hellion

[6/10 · 17 January 2004]

BttF is a nice enough movie if you a) fell in love with it as a pre-teen, b) currently are a pre-teen, or c) are the parent of a pre-teen. Otherwise, it gets a tad annoying. Marty's continual, idiotic 'slip-ups' with 1985 references in 1955 give me a headache and make me wonder if he's not mentally defective. Pepsi Free? Was that on earth either before or after a couple of months in 1985?

That said, Crispin Glover should have gotten an Oscar for his performance as Marty's dad George. He takes the generic nerd written in the script, chops it into kindling, and uses it to set the screen on fire. With his incomparable gift for communicating character through body attitude, CHG transforms the one dimensional creature of the dialogue into an entirely mesmerizing cinematic force. Well worth slogging through the rest of this flick for his performance.

Evelyn Prentice (1934)

Worth a watch for the weird factor

[5 January 2004]

This movie is one of the best examples of what resulted when the studio machine didn't quite know what to do with its talent pool.

Powell and Loy, who had recently proven themselves a winning team in the original Thin Man, are again the urbane marrieds. Their individual talents and snappy chemistry aren't entirely swamped by this soapy melodrama, but they are given a slight patina of caricature. Thank god the studio figured it out and gave us five more Thin Man movies.

The very freaky thing about this movie is the film debut of the divine Roz Russell. Granted, she was an extremely beautiful woman, but casting her in the Joan Crawford femme fatale role gives unintentional comedy and a textbook demonstration of "What do we do with this one" syndrome. Thank god the studio figured it out and gave us the rest of her career.

As a movie, Evelyn Prentice is not bad lazy rainy Sunday viewing. It's much more interesting as a piece of oddball film history and an object lesson in how mediocre things can happen to great people.