buttyfrench Reviews

4 Horsemen: Apocalypse (2022)

This movie is like having you cake and eating it two!

[10/10 · 28 February 2024]

If you want to eat 2 cakes but still have cake this movie really delivers. The action in this movie is nonstop and it really seems to be real when they fights and punch and shoots. The guy that they call Tobias Pahloosh is one of they best actors that I ever seen on a TV. He can do MMA and karate and boxing. The sex in the movie was good and the girls know how to please a man. We watch this with a ton of guys we was stoked to see the girly bumpy bits on big screen! The plot of the movie is that they world can be destroyed by a nuclear missile that is coming from Mars. They Mars people hate the Earth because global warming is killing the universe. These men must stop the Martians and still please they women in bed. It is a great movie!

Taking Earth (2017)

Great Special Ed Effects and Great Acting for Great Sci Fy

[10/10 · 13 October 2023]

This is just the best movie that I had ever ever seen and it makes me want to act. They people in it were better than the actors that are normal people they was much better than Brad Pitt or Reese Witherspoon or Tupac. They space battles made me want to scream with pleasure! They guy that was the star is the guy from something that I seen once while on vacation. He was hot and looked very clean like they used lotion to make his skin nice. The baddie guy was like Darth but he is a white guy with white hair and no black helmet. They robots were borrowed from Battlestar Gigantica I think. See this movie and you will love it and be glad you did.

Muted (2023)

This is why I have Netflix!

[10/10 · 1 June 2023]

God, talk about having my mind take an E-Ticket thrill ride which never stops. The lead actress and actor use a genius Thespian technique where they do not seem to know much about acting, dialog, emotion, character development, or anything related to starring in a TV show. They are completely uninvolved with trying to play their respective roles. But, this is THE reason why this show works. There will be a lot of viewers which will compare this series to watching paint dry. That is the brilliance of it! Let's face it, paint is interesting and, as a viewer, we have no idea how the paint will look when it has dried. Will it dry a darker shade? Will it dry lighter? Will it fade over the years or endure? Will someone wallpaper over it? That is the metaphor which carries over to the plot of this show, as well. It begs the question, "Do we need to spackle the cracks of the script or enjoy its patina of grime and smell of burnt hair?". The writers weaved a tapestry of stunning ambiguity and never-ending vagueness which allowed me to drift away to a better in my mind where I had the chance think about other things like peace in the Middle East, war in Middle Earth, being in the middle of the book War and Peace, wondering if I will ever finish it. In short, this show with its hypnotic slumber-like stupor-inducing dreaminess is a cure for the worst cases of insomnia. I could not wait until it was over, having binged watched it while binging another show on a second television. That is how much I wanted start watching it again! Please, do not miss this important experiment in entertainment.

Boon (2022)

Boon goes "BOOM!"

[10/10 · 3 March 2023]

If you is talking about action and needs action to get your blood running hot, this is they movie for you. From they start to the end the movie never stops with shooting and killing. They bald guy with the dumb face called Boon is like Steve Segal and Chuck Norris rolled into the one man with karate and shooting. They girl in the movie is hot hot hot like a fire and shows us all of her girl bits and more! My mom and my Uncle watched this with me and my Uncle said that he would like to get with a girl like that. My uncle is 63 and he still think that he can get with hot young girls! We watched this and drank a lot of beer because we liked they movie so much. They need to make more of these kinds of movies.

Journey (VI) (2020)

Trainspotting, Die Hard 3, and My Left Foot rolled into one film!

[10/10 · 6 February 2023]

This is a great murder mystery hostage takeover movie seasoned with graphic unstimulated sex and with full frontal and full back nudity. At its roots, this is a story about gang life in the UK and the pressures of trying to run a legitimate feline adoption center in a bad neighborhood. The leading actor play a dim bulb Pierce Brosman wannabe, but basically pulls off the role despite his limited acting skills. My friends all thought that the movie lacked enough story for a 3.5 hours film, though. The writing was not too bad. I found that the heavy drug use by everyone to be a good thing. Too many times in this day and age do-gooders want to portray the use of crack, heroine, and cocaine as a bad thing. Personally, I think that it is good for people to loosen up a bit now and then. I would give this movie 20 stars if I could.

Primal Rage (2018)

This is whats life is all about!

[10/10 · 24 June 2022]

Me and my friends they watched this one good movie and we say that it might be one of THE BEST ever seen by people! If you are is looking for scary this movies will grind your unshot turds into brown mush before you can blump them in the toilet. I is not kidding that i almost stained my pants! The blond girl is hot hot hot and can shake her girlie bits like a pro. AND you gets to see all of her if you know what I am saying!!!! I like my women hot and she can smoke a turkey with the oven door open she is that hot. The creature is definitley not Big Foot and he has fur that looks like my public hair on my man sack. It is fuzzy and wet looking with a stink that you can almost smell thru they TV set. And he is one mean bad boy! I like my monsters to be able to kill alot and this one can serve the up the slotter with a ton of blood. If you is trying not to be able to go to sleep this is the kind of movie that will keep you up and the blond girl can make you feel hot enough to want to have some sex in your house by yourself or with some one else. See this movie!

Range Runners (2019)

Like Hot Butter on a Baked Turnip, It IS The Best

[10/10 · 15 October 2021]

It you take this movie and watch to the end with they hot hot hot girl that runs all over the place you gets a darn great movie that hits you like you been slapped with a ferret in the face on Sunday! It is that all out good. The story does take you to that place that them people that you know dont go. When I sit back and see the movie and my kids cover they eyes because of they blood all over I say to them do NOT be scared beuuse she is just an actress doing the bloody for the movie. I love the parts when they yell at her and she yells back all of the stuff. I wants to poke my eye out if I am lying to you! My mother sews socks in Hell.

Between Worlds (2018)

Old Fashioned Movie Making at its BEST!

[10/10 · 19 June 2021]

Nickolas Cage is a great actor and no bodies will ever say that he is not. That is a fact like the they sky is blue! He can win Oscars without much tryin because he is that good. In this movie he shows that he can hang with the other great actors like George Clooney, Brad Pit, Ben Afflect, and Tobie McQuire. He does sex movies really good that I can imagine me in the movie riding the girl myself! It is like he puts you the movie watcher right in the sex scene. I watch sex movies not just to spank out but to see the art. Nickolas does that because he makes it all about ART! They is big mystery in this movie to. You have to figure out something and it makes you watch it 3 or 4 times for sure. Skaters will love the Tony Hawk guy as the wizard and even get to see him doe things with his eyes that no man can do without special affects. Some of the stuff they could cut out and add more hot girls with oily bodies. That could make it better if you know what I'm saying!

Oxygen (2021)

In space, they cannot here your scream except when on an intercom of some type

[10/10 · 14 May 2021]

I dig alot of space movies and movies with hot women doing hot things with they bodies. This is one of those movies! The girl in the movie is a space vixen if you know what I am saying. The ship is a talking spaceship and he can help the girl and many many people. The space war is just OK. No lite saber fights at all. But you do have the biggest space battle ever filmed with lazers and atomic weapons. This is a movie where you think that you know that the person in the movie know what everyone outside the movie knows, but it is NOT the case. In 1977, something like this happened on earth and they was not anyone left to tell about it so this movie can tell the story for that when it did happen. If there are 10 people that say something is good and just one that says that it is GREAT then I am that guy! Please see this movie and wtach it with friends because it will scare all of you to the bone. The sex scenes were very graphic and with tons of sweat.

The Midnight Sky (2020)

This is Flantackular Movie Making

[10/10 · 22 December 2020]

Talk about a great stupendous movie, THIS IS IT! George Cooney could not be better as an actor in this space and earth movie. He does some wild, and I mean wild stuff in this movie. The snow looked real because they filmed this movie where they had snow when they were making the movie. The actress is hot even if she is pregnant and I normally don't like looking for pregnant women for sex. The space scenes seem very real but I do not think that they were filmed in space. The hot astronaut girl is not the best actress but she does look good. I watched this with some of my male friends and they think that she was hot. The story is great because you believe that this could really happen to planet earth. I know that people think that the earth is ending without people being more recycling. They was some dead places in the movie that could use some full frontal and full back nudity to make it better. The space battle was one of the best in any movie ever! If I were you, or anybody, I would see this movie ten times.

I Am Vengeance: Retaliation (2020)

It's a Battle Royale!

[10/10 · 3 November 2020]

I''m talking about fights and mayhem, Brothers! These are guys with big 5 pound swinging balls that know how to use thy stuff, Bro's! They big guy in the movie can fight with they wrestle, he can kick like a John Cloud Van Dame, he can box like Ali, he can Kung Fu like Jackie Chen, and he can shoot like a cowboy. My wife like the full frontage nudity and liked his python which big even for a dude as tall as him. And he knows how to use that thing to please the blond girls, BOTH! They fights is REAL and they alls can MMA like the best. They acting is so great that this will get some awards! The story is the best that even seen in a movie. I was stomach sick when I went to my friend house to see it on his TV. By the end I was not sick any more! It was that good.

In the Shadow of the Moon (2019)

In the past of the future, tomorrow is yesterday's news!

[10/10 · 24 August 2020]

Wow, just plain WOW! This is Time Cop, Time Bandits, The Time Machine, and Harry Potter all rolled into one epic movie. I mean wit a capital "E" EPIC MOVIE! This is Jim Carrey's best movie, EVER! The action was epic action, if you know what I mean. You can see that the epic producers know how to make a great movie because they hired actors that have not been in stuff for a while. The chicks in the movie are epic hot with bodies that could re-fry beans, if you know what I'm saying! The sex scenes are steamy and the chicks know all of the latest sex moves, both oral and missionary. I saw some hidden messages in the movie that are messages about things going on in our current history. QAnon says that movies like this can warp our brains and turn us into zombies. Well, that is okay with me because my mind is already warped and this movie actually helped cure some of the warping. That is how good this movie is! Kellyanne Conway, the Trump lady, had a small roll in this epic movie. She plays a hag that has papers for Jim Carrey. If I were going to the movies with my mother and any of my exwives, I would want it to be this one!

Beyond White Space (2018)

Combine Alien, Aliens, Firefly, Battle Star Gigantica, Star Wars, and Star Trek ALL together!

[10/10 · 10 February 2020]

WOW, just plain wow is all I have to say. This is won fine movie with really fine women! Hotter than smoking HOT if you know what I'm saying. The Special Education FX are some of the damn best since 2001 A Space Odyssey. This is not your typical movie about empty space this is a movie about White Space and all of the dangers that are out there in the whitest of all space. Dark space is a place that has no light what so ever. But White Space has the light kind of space that any one can find. The main space ship is old but the crew can really make her rock, just like the Serenity. The captain is like a Captain Kirk guy because he can do all of the space stuff needed to fly in White Space. The thing to remember is that this is also a movie about what is "beyond" White Space. Out there beyond white space is the space that you find when words have a hard time trying to find out what words are needed to describe it. There are so many White Space battles in this movie also! The monsters are really real for a space movie. I have a friend of mine that works at NASA and even he would go no where near White Space. They is a crazy guy in the movie too!

Rattlesnake (2019)

You think you know snakes but YOU do NOT know snakes!

[10/10 · 26 November 2019]

The name Rattlesnake makes a person think of a snake. When a personthinks of a snake they think of a animal with zero legs and hands. The girl in this movie has both legs and hands so you know that the name of the movie is NOT talking about her. So it must have real snakes! There are times when we all know that we are watching something really good to the point that our head might blow up with liking what we are watching. That is THIS movie! Wow! The girl is hot and the desert is not even as hot as she is let me tell you. Taylor Swift could write a song about this movie and it would be a hit. There are times in the movie that make you so scare that you might vomit up pizza in WHOLE chunks if that is what you had before watching this rocking movie. Now that is how scary it is when you might throw up! I saw this movie on line for free ta my friends house but after watching it I know that I would have paid $20 to see it if I had not got laid off 3 years ago. Please see this movie is all that I am saying.

The Current War (2017)

History at its Finest! Shocking, you know what I am saying!

[10/10 · 23 October 2019]

This is a great movie about the discovery of how simple electrons can make electric power and lightning. The idea of having sparks which can make things run was not knowed by the early cave men. It took men like these to find the right electrons and protons and atoms that were just right to make electricity and batteries. Just think at that time they had to burn something to get light and Edison and Westernhouse said We Can Make Light With Electricity! Tesla had not thought about making his cars yet either. This movie clears all of that up by telling the story of how any one can make power out of electricity. Over ten times in this movie they fight about the best way to make it. The guy Edison is the best because he knew that we would need wires and telephone poles instead of the internet. This is a movie that does not have any good car chases. But the sex was good.

Zyzzyx Rd (2006)

Great action adventure, Raiders of the Lost Joan of Arc!

[10/10 · 18 September 2019]

Despite the negative reviews, this film rocks! When I was watching this, I just could not get up to go use the bathroom because I could not lose a minute of the wild things happening on my home epic film movie screen in my Man Cave. The girl from Gray's Anatomy was extra extra hot in this one! She shows all of her bumpy bit and kept them jiggling for use the whole time, if you know what I'm saying! Steven Seagal wrote parts of the screen plane so the talking part also had big action in them. There are 2 keys scenes in the movie that are completely lifted from Goodfellas and Gigli. Jennifer Lopez was great in this one even it was a small roll. I believe in the power to heal people, countries, and nations, so this is one of those kind of movies. It has a message! The message is that "If you mess with me or my stuff, I will rip your face off and burn it!". My wife found the sex scenes way way to graphic. I liked every second of them. Give this movie a chance to change your life, too!

Yellowstone (2018– )

Mindless Cruelty Masqaurading as a Modern Western

[2/10 · 15 August 2019]

This show is complete dreck. The acting is all over the place. But, the real problem is just that it is a soulless parade of meanness and cruelty. Not one character really has their head on straight. Yeah, Kayce tries and tries, but he does so because he is spineless. Kevin Costner has sold his has-been soul to play a stoic curmudgeon wandering around spouting off about very rigid sadistic family values. I guess that he is supposed to be J. R. Ewing on steroids? He has raised a complete wreck of a daughter that walks around the set scowling and drinking. Take a well written show like the Sopranos which balances the bad with scenes in which the viewer can identify. In this, peripheral characters just get killed off for no reason and we are supposed to just gasp as their brains are blown out. I really could go on and on... But, what's the point?

Another Life (2019–2021)

An epic classic space saga that rocks the Universe!

[10/10 · 25 July 2019]

When Hollywood makes a movie about space they lack the feel of space that one can only get if you have truly been into space. So this series was made by astronauts and FOR ASTRONAUTS! Everything is spot-on, space-wise, that is. After watching it all, I was convinced that it was video taped actually IN SPACE. My mom who is 87 years old agrees with me that most of it was video taped in space. She saw the 1st episode but says that she likes the very whole series just based on how good the 1st episode is. I do not think that much of it has special effects. I think that a lot of it is real stuff that NASA really uses. A lot of what NASA uses is secret but they would need to try it out somewhere, so why not use it in a movie? That is what I think that NASA and the Director did! The actors are all HOT good looking people that most people on Earth would really want to have sex with. The blonde space girl is really buff and is hot I think about her when I am going to sleep. She is that hot! Many space battle scenes seem like they are in 3D when I where the 3D glasses that I had from a 3d movie in the 90's. But, only the battle scenes. Everything else is in 2D or 1D. The people in the movie are brave astronauts that want to save Earth and will do anything to do it. I wish they had some more karate and MMA in the movie in the fight scenes. The hot blonde space girl is great! This is like Star Trek and Star Wars in one. It has the best space battles that I ever did see anywhere. It is too bad that we can only see space battles in the movies and on TV. Maybe, someday we can see the real thing? The hot blonde space girl is smart also so that makes men want her even more because she would be a challenge.

The Hard Way (2019)

Action at its Very, Very, very, BEST!

[10/10 · 22 July 2019]

I loved, loved, loved, this film. Think, "Die Hard", "The French Collection" and "The Godfather" all rolled into one non-stop action movie. The guy that has the scowl face, the actor in the movie, is a great guy that is like Chunk Norris, but like he had a injection of man-dude vitamins! He can do the thing that show his jumps and kick and punches and muscles! They was way enough action for my wife and I to have fun watching and they fights are wilder than anything that I have ever seen in a movie. They was guy that looked my friend in this movie which made it even more real! The fights ALL looked real. They were fighting in the street, in the bar, in the rooms, and everywhere. One fight had more punches than 3 movies all tied together! The karate was real and the MMA fights was good too.

Barracuda (2017)

Does a Tollio Plingus mean anything to Tobias Pahloosh?

[10/10 · 30 March 2019]

Talk about a wild ride of a heckava movie! This is a story about people who they think is good might often be the ones that they think is best to find out when they think they is not in the same goodness form of the people in the other room. The director guy is a new guy that has him some good ideas about the girl in his movie. who is a great acting girl! My mom and I watched this movie together on the last Friday and she did not see it all but says that it was good. It be the sacry movie for all of the movie and in the end. Please watch with your lights on!

Jessica (I) (2004 TV Movie)

Pindleley story of woked outback Boogie!

[1/10 · 18 May 2018]

This movie had the tinker done to it in the worst way. They all four times the stuff of another several movies rolled into the wildest one was not know because it was just too weird to give that information. She did not have the Aussie thing to do in half of the film? What gives? It had none of that. Would somebody please tell me why. I did not understand a bit of what they were trying to say. God, why can they make sense?

Fallen Stars (2017)

A film about young Zeroes meandering through life.

[1/10 · 27 April 2017]

The two leads in this film are likable actors with very little to act in this shell of a character study. We all have friends like these two, they the lifeless slot fillers at parties and gatherings. The story goes off into the Disingenuous Zone by suddenly revealing that she is a well known somebody. Geez, she is such a nothing that I refuse to believe that she even knows how to use a pay toilet with a coin door. He is the quintessential Failure-to-Launch... nothing new. So little happens in this film that I am left to wonder if the story was improvised after they began shooting. Watching these two recite the dialog was painful. Her character has some very wacky views about, well, the entire world. Me, I just cannot go on any longer about this piece of crap movie. Signing out....

Within (2016)

SPOILERS!!!!!! Great, great, great!

[10/10 · 18 October 2016]

SPOILERS!!!!!!!Unbelievable film! Truly great and a real gem of a drama slash horror film. Michael Vartan is of French origin, BTW. Usually, French films are not 2 good. He is great, great, great in this one. I loved, loved, loved this movie. It is scary! And, I mean scary! Truly a very horrific film in all the ways that a movie can be horrific without being real and, really, just a movie! At 20:32 there is a scene that blew me away, Completely! In 1960, something-ish, The House on Haunted Hill wowed audiences and this one does, too. I liked the tone of the fear that it has in most of it. Five people that I know did not see it but liked the way it sounded when I told them about it.

Hawkeye (1988)

Solid action film! SPOILERS!!!!

[10/10 · 16 June 2016]

I really liked this film. Think the French Connection meets Chuck Norris in Code of Silence. Cheung is Gene Hackman-like in this modern Vegas set noir. The tension throughout the movie is held by an expertly written script and well choreograph action scenes. Cameos by Martin Balsam and Tobias Pahloosh were comic interludes that allowed the viewers to have a chuckle here and there.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

Look for Steven Seagal in a very funny scene involving a prostitute, a cab driver, and a little person. My only gripe was that the gunfights were a little too long in spots. The car chases were right out of Ronin, A!!

Naomi Campbell was hot. Some of the sex scenes were a little too explicit for an R Rated movie especially given that they show actual penetration and digital manipulation of genitalia.

Hammer of the Gods (2013)

This is action at its BEST! Period>>>>

[10/10 · 5 October 2015]

If you like Hero, House of a Thousand Flying Daggers, National Treasure, or Last Tango in Paris, you will love this film. It has that hint of an epic film tempered with the legitimacy of an Oscar nominated documentary. Yes! It is that REAL! Nicolas Cage's acting was spot-on, Salam Hyack was spectacular. The lightning effects during the rain storm put me right in the movie with the main characters. The sex scenes were done very, very tastefully, but, be warned there are glimpses of female genitalia in many parts of the lovemaking. I like my woman tall and firm and this film is full of those types of women!This movie may not win any awards, but it deserves to be nominated for something. You need Dolby THX DTS in your home system to fully enjoy this film. Be warned!!!!