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Reviews
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
goofy and mindless... B movie at its wildest!!
man was this a b movie if there ever was one!! this had it all. bad script, bad acting, terrible accents, lots of blood, lots of gore, lots of gun fights, explosions, stereotypes, faces being punched in, very campy, bad camera work (ie: faces being cut off in framing for some reason just take it for what it is: a cheesy, 80s type super action movie. i took it how I thought it would be and laughed through most of it. take it from me, I am a super-action movie super fan! but this got bad and it got bad quick and stayed that way. a couple of things were actually decent about the debacle: first off. Ray Stevenson was a good punisher- I would of liked to have had Thomas Jane back but since we got Stevenson he looked the part (from the punisher: war zone comics)and played it the best he could have. the lighting and the tone of the whole thing was done well too. jigsaw was a crazy person but he just looked like a rip off of leatherface and his new york accent was just bad. and his brother was creepy and over the top but a good little villain tandem- in the cheesy way! my favorite line of the movie... in a bad new york accent. "we're not in Transylvania anymore.. so stop talking' vampire" AWESOME! take a few buddies and go laugh and have a good time.
Four Christmases (2008)
could of taken place on Earth Day... but it was placed on Christmas to make $$$...
this was just an average type movie. it made me uncomfortable in some of the scenes with all the crazy members of each family. but i guess thats what they were going for, the crazy families everyone has to visit during the Christmas holiday. i could of just watched the trailer and got all the funny parts, there wasn't much after I saw the trailer and Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon kind of got annoying after while. also this could of taken place on any holiday... or weekend get away, if you think about it. i think they used this because there hasn't been many holiday movies coming and they decided to do this on Christmas and make some money because people will go see this movie just because it takes place at Christmas time. nothing special here and if you want to see it in theaters, go for the matinée or just wait for it on VHS!!! OWWW
Role Models (2008)
surprising. better than i expected
I thought this movie was going to be funny but it was more than just a funny movie, it had some great characters and some great character developments. even some of the supporting characters had great story lines. Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd were great together and had great chemistry. i really enjoyed the battlefield/mythological dungeons and dragons stuff, it was a great final scene with some cool funny moments. "fogell" was incredibly funny yet again and I cant wait for his next movie. like i said before; it was very funny but also had some great story too, not just laugh out loud humor. surprisingly good! go see it
Step Brothers (2008)
Clearly better than recent "comedies" from Farrell and Reilly
I will give it this... I went into the movie not expecting much since Farrell's last (semi pro) was semi funny and actually quite bad, and Reilly's last (walk hard) was fair and had some funny spots. but this one was a whole lot better than the previous works of either star. It was R rated for a reason, it had some bad language but now days if comedies are rated R, then be prepared for some real foul language. This was a breath of fresh air for me, I didn't expect much but I got a lot in return. it had some classic scenes and some classic lines from its characters. It was well written for what the stars are good at: which is acting like children in mens bodies. I give it a 8 out of 10 because it surprised me and it had more than enough funny scenes and lines in it to keep me entertained and I would say this is up there with Forgetting Sarah Marshall as one of the funniest movies I've seen this year.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Bob Kane would be so proud!
this masterpiece was so much more than a batman film, it was clearly one of the best 'crime-thriller-action- drama' epics. One of the movies in my list of "best in the last 5-10 years." Far and away the best comic book movie ever made. Heath Ledger was awe inspiring as the maniacal, psychopath Joker. If you ever wanted to know how the joker was suppose to be played, watching Ledger is basically a character study on how it's done. That character is crazed and demented but at the same time he will get you to laugh at the things he is doing. Ledger was everything I could ever want out of the joker and Jack Nicholson's performance NOW seems more like a Ceasar Romero Joker of the 1960s. Aaron Eckhart was just as good as Harvey Dent /Two Face, his transformation from one to the next was so well done. Christian Bale was once again spot on as the Caped Crusader. I loved every part of this cinema masterpiece, there was nothing really flawed about it, everyone was on their A game, and that puts it among my all time favorites. One for the ages! Bob Kane would be so proud!!
Batman: Gotham Knight (2008)
A well needed batman animated story before the Dark Knight comes out!!
i knew this wouldn't be anything like the Batman Animated Series BUT all the short stories were well done by some different anime looks and each story was well written and executed. My favorite 2 would have to be the Killer Croc and Scarecrow episode and the last one with the sniper. the music was awesome and I hope the Dark Knight took notice because that score was really catchy and strong. and the animation and storytelling were spot on and the pacing of each one was great. Not too long or too short on any episode. They got Kevin Conroy to voice the batman here and I was really happy with that because I think Conroy is the Voice of Batman in the animated world, no one does it like he does. If you are a batman fan i don't think you will be disappointed if you check it out and see it for yourself. I am and I'm happy I own it now!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
fair indiana jones.
the weakest of the indiana jones movies clearly. i just think they missed on this one, i would think after 18-19 years from the last one that they would go all out and put together the ultimate indiana jones movie, they sure hyped it up to be but it didn't make it. the good thing is that all the indiana jones stuff you are used to is here and adds to the movie, the action scenes are great, multiple things are going on in these scenes and makes you appreciate that type of adventure film. the bad thing and the thing that annoys me about this is the whole thing just comes off alittle dull from my expectations (except for the action scenes.) the acting is good enough, the special FX are alright, the script is OK, the direction is good. All in all an entertaining film that had some decent spots but clearly in my book the 4th and least enjoyable indy film and that's a shame. because i wanted this movie to be awesome but it just came up short.
Vantage Point (2008)
better than average, still had some flaws, but enjoyable
this movie i had seen some previews for it and the trailer looked interesting enough. also i am a big dennis quad fan from his earlier movies. this movie was interesting in that it told the same part of the story over and over again just in different points of view, and if you missed one point i think you would be OK since it was rehashing the same part over and over. it gives you clues to try and solve the puzzle and by the hour mark it starts to make sense. there are some very tense scenes and some edge of your seat thrills to this. pretty good action even though some of it was just mind boggling. i would say it was better than average and it was still enjoyable with pretty good acting and the action/thrilling parts were pulled off well.
Point Break (1991)
"Utah... get me 2"
I think this is one of the more underrated action/thrillers of the early 90s. Its almost like an 80s action movie with the over the top dialog and the over acting and the action. I have to give it to this movie, they don't make them like this anymore and thats a shame. Patrick Swayze just went downhill after this movie, maybe it took it out of him to play Bohdi, or however you spell it, basically the same character he played from Road House, only a bad guy. Reeves was in his 'no wayyyy: Bill and Ted' version here. it still makes me laugh as he tries to act! Gary Busey was great as usual. The action was top notch and surprising well done. The house shoot out, the last bank robbery, and the car chase which ended with a mad foot race pursuit which ended with "Johnny Utah" shooting into the air wildly...screaming, are still some of the best action scenes put to film. A great actioner from the early 90s!!
Road House (1989)
Oscars passed this by?!?
classic 80s actioner here! Patrick Swayze did it again! The mini mullet was in top for with him going crazy as a small town bouncer that basically runs the place after a couple of fights! everything great in the 80s was here just on steroids; big hair, bad acting, action that comes out of nowhere, big explosions, just everything in excess. i own the special edition DVD and it is classic with the commentary tracks and the little funny statements that pop up on screen. this along with movies like commando with schwarzenegger made the 80s action movie top the world!! if you are a fan of super action and the 1980s you will love it.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
back to R rated finally
what the first AVP should of been like. back to the roots of the alien and predator movies. the violence is back so that was a plus for fans of the monsters! the acting was pretty rough, but that was a plus as well, hoping for violent and innovative deaths. a good little plot, basic, not too much of a challenge for us that just want to turn off our brains for a while and enjoy this for what it was. only thing i wish they would of done was more actual fighting from the aliens and predators. the first AVP actually did something right there, they had some good brawls with the 2 creatures. this one was good too but too many weapons used. the predalien was pretty scary and another thing that was good was that no one was safe, not women or children... cant wait for the eventual unrated DVD when it comes out this spring, i believe
Juno (2007)
jason reitman did it again
first was thank you for smoking then this gem... JUNO this was a very surprising little movie... well i don't know if you can call being the #2 movie in America little, but for an independent staying above some of the Hollywood big budget movies, its holding its own... actually its winning in some areas! like story, acting, directing, etc. reitman surprised me with thank you for smoking and i went into this thinking i would enjoy it and i did. maybe one of the best movies of the year so far. jason bateman surprised me with his great acting here and he gave the scene stealing performance of the movie, every scene he was in, he stole in my opinion. everyone else did what i expected of them, jennifer garner was alright, but in my opinion she was the weakest link in all of the actors... she got alittle annoying during the whole thing, maybe that was the point. my review goes well on the acting, directing, story, script, and overall i give it a 9. top 5 of 2007-08 so far!
I Am Legend (2007)
DARK KNIGHT did it for me... this didn't
The dark knight trailer at the beginning was better than this whole film combined. it just was slow and had about 3 or 4 good thrilling spots in the film that i enjoyed but everything else was dull and questionable. it left me with a whole lot of questions that didn't get answered and i don't like that if i am more confused to end the movie than before. I'm just glad it was only like 1hour and 40 mins. Will smith did well for basically being the only star in the movie, but there is still more things missing that he cant fix by just taking off his shirt and working out for all the women to see!! like i said before, i could of walked out after the dark knight trailer and been happy. this just didn't do it for me, for all the hype it got.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
more movies like this PLEASE!
maybe the movie of the year... 2007 and 2008?? could be. this was a very impressive movie that delivered with all the hype it was getting, people were saying this was the best coen brother movie yet and all this and that. i don't know if its the best coen brother movie, but its quite up there. maybe top 3. it just depends on what kind of coen brother movie you want. a fantastic film, a great cat and mouse thriller with great performances by both the main characters. especially the wild haired hit-man with the silenced shotgun and the air hose gun thing. the scene in the convenience store with the guy flipping the coin was maybe the scene of the decade, pure gold. tommy lee jones was usually great, its about time he did a coen brothers movie. no music at all i don't believe, and if you can pull a movie off without music then you have really done something and this did! ill have to watch it again to fully understand it, maybe read the book. but easily a top 3 movie of 2007-08!
Zodiac (2007)
very very very very very good
this was probably one of the best movies of 2007, it was very well done. some people would say it was slow and dull but i beg to differ, it was very captivating and thrilling. especially when there wasn't a whole lot of killing in the second half to keep the audience interested. it kept my attention the whole way through, especially after other viewings of it. it explained a whole lot but never lost me in trying to put the puzzle together to try and catch the killer. there were some intense scenes and some creepy scenes, all in the calling card of David f. here! the acting is what did it for me too. jake g. was actually very good, robert d. was good as usual, mark r. was good, everyone of the main characters was great
Halloween (2007)
ehhh I don't know...
this wasn't as good as i was hoping it was going to be. it was weird that i saw this trailer a couple of months back and said "this may be pretty good for a remake of this classic horror movie" after sitting through this, I now know why some people just shouldn't remake movies. It was just messy and jumbled. The writing wasn't to good either, all the stereotypes were added here: bullies, abusive fathers, slutty girls, gullible cops, etc. This part of the movie was so unoriginal and blatant it was almost laughable. Also the editing was really choppy and sometimes I would be thinking "what exactly is going on right now" as the actress howls with the annoying screams that went on for 10 minutes straight. Don't get me wrong, this wasn't the worst movie ever, or the worst remake ever, it just wasn't very good either. It started out pretty good, with the back-story and everything but then it just went straight down from there. I would only go and see it if you are a TRUE Halloween fan and a TRUE "remake the horror movie" fan, otherwise, just wait for the DVD
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
HIGh FIvE!
funniest movie I've seen all year, maybe funniest movie in the past 2 or 3 years! My body was hurting after laughing so much at some of the skits and some of the things Borat would do. This isn't a movie for everyone, if you are easily offended, don't even try it. If you are a fan of the Borat character in any way, you will be loving it all the way through, most of the things he does in the Ali G show, he does here but shows no remorse for anyone he comes to meet. You should not watch it if you are a Gypsie or a Jew because he just tears them a new one in this movie. (Even though he is Jewish himself) You know there will be like an Un cut version on DVD when it comes out and I will be in line to pick it up HIGH FIVE!
Misery (1990)
"Annie.. whatever you're thinking about doing... please don't"
this was one of Stephen King's best novels turned into a film. James Cann was great, Kathy Bates was the real showstopper here, she played the character to a tee. The direction was awesome and the storytelling was great as basically about 3/4 of the movie took place in a bedroom of a house... a snooze right? Wrong, nothing about this is movie is boring. Basically the story is easy to understand to the viewer; Paul Sheldon (Cann) is a famous novelist and he has made a career out of writing a bunch of books from a character named 'Misery.' He goes up to a house in the mountains to finish his final book of the Misery series and after he finishes, he heads back home. He leaves without knowing that there is a snow storm coming and while driving he gets into an accident. Afterwards, A 'fan' of his, Annie Wilkes (Bates) saves him from the crash and takes him to her house to recover. As he recovers from his wounds, Sheldon starts to realize that Wilkes isn't just a fan, but she is a crazed sociopath that is planning to keep him at her home forever. Sheldon must figure out a way to escape. Thats basically it. Bates really shines here as the super crazy fan, Wilkes. She can go from gentle, caring and loving to vicious and psychotic in a heartbeat. She kind of reminds me of Mommy Dearest but multiplied in the crazy department. Stephen King still knows how to terrify you, people that have seen the movie, all you have to say is "Hobbling" and a cold chill goes down your back. What an excruciating scene of pain and torture. An instant horror/thriller classic, I gave it a 8 because I think that it could have been better in a few small spots, but it is incredibly entertaining and horrifying all together
The Black Dahlia (2006)
kind of weird, don't know what to think of it.
I was looking forward to seeing this movie. I saw a trailer at my friends house one night and didn't know it was coming out pretty soon after that so I decided to go home and check out what I could find on the release and whether I would be seeing it or not. The first thing I saw was that Brian De Palma was going to helm the project and that it had an "all star cast." I put the last part in quotes because I didn't really think most of the actors could pull off the roles they had. Josh Hartnett, Scarlet J., etc. Aaron Eckhart played his role alright and I was surprised to see Hillary Swank in this type of role, but she did well pulling it off. The real surprise here was Mia Kirshner, I thought she pulled off her role the best and she had only about 1/4 the screen time than anyone else. She plays the down on her luck, struggling actress part great. She seemed the best as the young lady that was searching for fame and fortune only to have that taken away in "the most famous unsolved murder in California history." Nice tag line. With De Palma its either hit or miss, with his film-making style IT WAS STYLISTIC with the best of them. The production design team deserves a pat on the back, the sets and the way the production team brought back that 1940s look in California was great. Maybe the only thing great about this movie. About 30-45 minutes into the movie I was questioning if this was a dark comedy drama or not, as the audience is treated to a Hartnett and Eckhart boxing match for some reason and about HALF way through the movie I was wondering if they had forgot about the E. Short murder and had gone onto a different story all together. The ending just kind out of came out of nowhere with little build up, Hartnett character just 'poof' solves the case and after everything is over, you are left with a questionable bad taste in your mouth. It was average at best, but it could have been really a lot better, especially with the talent you have to work with.
RoboCop (1987)
"there's more hair...down there!"
classic sci fi movie. In my mind, the best sci fi movie there is. It is great on all fronts: acting, directing, storytelling, script, action, pacing. From the news flashes and goofy commercials to the graphic violence and graphic language, this was a head turning cult hit. The real treat here were the bad guys in the movie, they were real sinister and evil. Kurtwood Smith will always be Clairence to me, I don't give a damn if he was in 'That 70s Show' and Ronny Cox was just as good a villain too. RoboCop has some sharp action for its time but it was also emotional on many levels. When Murphy gets killed in the warehouse, it was so violent and butchering that it made you that much more of a fan of RoboCop through the movie as he really just goes and picks off each of the goons that killed him earlier. Some good twist and turns, many story lines through the movie that fell into place very smoothly. It produced 2 other sequels but nothing nearly as good as this one. A real gem. They don't make movies like this anymore, its a real shame.
The Fugitive (1993)
one of the best movies of 1993
a very very good movie with great performances, great pace and great storytelling. Everything was top notch here in this one of a kind movie. Harrison Ford was, as usual, great. Tommy Lee Jones, who won the Academy Award for Supporting Actor was at his very best and may well be known for his role here, as the unrelenting US Marshall that chases Ford throughout the movie, when he is long gone. The pacing of this movie is excellent and is never boring or dull. There is not one scene where the viewers gets bored. Some of the most intense scenes in movie history are the bus crash scene and the jumping down the waterfall scene. I don't remember seeing this in the theater but if I did, it makes it that much better. AFI named the movie a top 100 Thrillers in movie history, I don't know where it landed exactly but it was a real gem. One of the best movies of 1993.
Wrongfully Accused (1998)
comical Lord Leslie Nielson at it again
very goofy and funny parody. Most people didn't see this one, compared to movies like Hot Shots and Naked Gun, where a lot of people saw and thought those were the cornerstone of spoof movies. This one held its own as one of the funniest spoofs in recent memory. This movie basically takes the whole Fugitive movie and puts its own spin on the whole thing. They also goof on other movies but The Fugitive is the basic one for the story. Everyone was dead on in this one, Leslie Nielson was spot on yet again as the pure comic genius that he is. Michael York, Kelly LeBrock where surprise hits as well. The real steal of the movie is the late, great Richard Creena. He was very good as the Tommy Lee Jones character, very good. The writing was right on as well, alittle out there but it was very funny when you hear all the analogies that the actors make with their lines. Very comical and if you liked Naked Gun series and the Hot Shot series you should love this one. I did.
Scary Movie 4 (2006)
uhh its Scary Movie 3 all over again
this was an unoriginal, stupid, gross out movie. Truly a BIG sign that the scary movie franchise is dead or dying. This coming from a huge fan of the scary movie franchise, i thought the first 2 were comic gems and the third one was a nice surprise, but this one just took all the jokes from the last one and just churned them out again. Of course there was celebrity cameos, but about 75% of them didn't need to be in there (ie. Lil Jon, Michael Madsen, Mike Tyson) they were just there to get a small part in a big movie and a paycheck. The jokes were all done before in the first 3, the Michael Jackson thing has been done to death. The only good scenes were the 'Brokeback' scene, 'Tom Cruise' couch jumping scene, and Leslie Nielson. The other jokes you could see coming a mile away and weren't that funny, just stupid or gross. I feel bad for Ana Farris, she has been type cast like crazy and I don't see her career going anywhere but to these spoof comedies that are getting worse and worse. this review is coming from a guy that loves spoof comedies, but this was just not good at all, average is the best word for it. If you saw the trailer, then you saw the best parts of the movie.
Poseidon (2006)
edge of your seat disaster picture
People are going to bash this film because it didn't make a huge opening weekend profit, but just because it didn't do well over the box office doesn't mean its not a good movie, people don't seem to understand that, they think if it makes 100 million over the weekend or something, then its a good movie but thats usually not the case. Poseidon, of course, is a remake of the 70s original 'The Poseidon Adventures.' This one doesn't have the huge all star cast as the first one, Kurt Russell, is probably the biggest name attached to this movie. Richard Dreyfuss and Josh Lucas are the other named stars that are attached. Lucas, is the leader of the group that try and escape out of the "bottom" of the ship. Dreyfuss is a breath of fresh air, as I haven't seen him in a movie in a while. Russell, plays the ex mayor of NY with his daughter, Emma Rossum (from the Phantom of the Opera) that go on the cruise with her soon to be husband. The first 30-40 minutes is pretty much character development of all the characters that we will see throughout the film. The "rogue" wave comes up pretty quick in the movie, as the New Years rolls in, so does the wave. The crash sequence was intense and graphic as it shows what it would do if a tidal wave would capsize a cruise ship. If you liked the iceberg scene of Titanic, you will like this. Pretty much the rest of the movie was the small group traveling through the ship to try and escape. Every little maze that the group gets into, which is about a half dozen, it gets very intense and edge of your seat. Of course some of the group members die but I wont give away who. The bottom line is, its a good disaster flick with some name stars, of course, its not as good as the first one, but remakes seldom are. Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss are the standouts here, and they are probably the oldest of the whole cast.
BloodRayne (2005)
"no, don't..."
man this movie blew the big one. it was terrible with a capital T. the acting, directing, cinematography, etc. were just plain awkward. The action was all over the place and didn't make any sense. Some of the action scenes came out of nowhere and was goofy. When Rayne would use her swords or whatever she had, the blood would just explode out of people, like Kill Bill but more extreme. It would be like geysers of blood shooting all over the place, quite silly for no apparent reason. The acting was awful, like the actors just got the script 10 minutes before coming on set, even for people like Michael Madasen. They just looked like they just woke up and didn't even care about the movie, just for the paycheck. I will give it this, it is better than House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, but thats not saying much. I gave Dead and Dark a 1 each and I gave this a 3, mainly because of Loken, she was amazingly hot in this movie, from the sexy clothes to the sex scene that comes out of nowhere. She is the only plus about this movie. Shes not a good actress by any means but she did look great all through this movie.