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sven-koehler
Reviews
The Pentaverate (2022)
You may want to skip this one
I watched it. The whole 6 episodes. I like to Austin Powers movies to some degree. Sometimes the humor is a bit over the top, but largely the jokes were funny.
This feels like more of the same, but this time the jokes don't land. Maybe I have seen it all before. Also I don't see why Mike Myers wanted to play 5 roles and more. It leads to some pretty odd cuts that feel forced like "let's insert some stock footage of that guy laughing".
Myers has been seen in more serious roles lately. They fit him better than the ones he plays here. I think he failed to upgrade his humor for an audience that has seen his previous work many times.
The episodes went by and while I was somewhat interested who's the bad guy, I rarely chuckled.
Star Trek: Discovery: Rubicon (2022)
It's Entertainment, but it doesn't feel like Star Trek
I admit it: I'm hooked. I want to see who this new species is and I want to see what they can do. Chances are, we won't ever meet them, though.
Today we learned how to play poker with your boyfriend and negotiate with your boyfriend while the real threat is standing right next to him. Hilarious.
Also, this super intelligent species gave our mad scientist a lesson, which he apparently didn't anticipate (not so smart after all): The DMA has no power source for him to steal - and they have spares.
Also, this season's philosophical problem seems to boil down to the dilemma of a) starting a war with a superior species or b) making peace with a species, that considers above it all and "mines" inhabited planets or at least accepts them as collateral. So how can this ever and well? The real question seems to be, why we shouldn't consider our characters delusional.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Disappointing
My first impression is disappointed. The movie seems like a mess, for some reason. It is almost chaotic in a way.
Freeing people seems to be easier now. You don't get fished from the sewers anymore. Great! There are human friendly machines. Nice!
However, some things seem meaningless now. For example they don't have to find a phone anymore. That was one of the main aspects of the Agents chasing Neo in the first movie. It was how the movie built tension. Here, they go in and out of the Matrix whenever and wherever they want, it seems.
Smith is back - and after beating the Analyst, he just disappears? Why? No fight? Is he too cool to fight now? It feels off-character.
Also, in the scene where Neo and Trinity are jumping off the roof, they just start hovering - and badly I might add. It is clearly visible, how they are dangling from threads. It took me out of the moment. Isn't that supposed to be some sort of reveal, that Trinity has powers now? Oh well ...
This feels like a setup for more. A lot of new things have been introduced to the world. But I'm not sure if I want more of that.
Ted Lasso (2020)
Pretty Average, IMHO
I started watching season 1 a couple of days ago. It wasn't hard to finish it, but I found the story to be very dull. The character arcs were very predictable. Constantsly, I had the feeling that I have seen it all before, for example:
* Ted Lasso, the charming idiot, that makes up for what he lacks in soccer knowledge in other areas.
* Nathan, the underrated underdog that turns out to be brilliant.
* The owner who initially wants the club to fail but eventually gets caught in the game.
* Jason Sudeikis does what he always does
It's entertaining when they try to play it light and don't try too hard to make you be emotional.
Das Hausboot (2021)
underwhelming
Do you know Colin Furze? He builds stuff, and he's really good at it. Now Fynn Kliemann is the German Colin Furze, kind of, but he's simply not that good. The fun you have watching his youtube videos is mostly due to the fact that he curses and fails until he sort-of kind-of succeeds.
Here, we don't even get to see that. Instead, we see Olli Schulz and Fynn Kliemann hire an army of craftsmen and Max. Max knows what he is doing and pours his soul into this project. In the end, everything works out and looks professional since it was done by professionals. Everybody's happy and proud - even though I don't know what Olli and Fynn are proud of.
Money (and the lack thereof) is a frequent topic. But it is never mentioned where the money comes from. The business model seems questionable - if it wasn't for the Netflix money they might have received for this.
So, if you want a houseboat, sell the idea to Netflix and then buy something that's rotten to the core. Then make a movie about how you shouldn't have bought it in the first place.
It's a bit like The Money Pit, except that movie was fun.
Vivarium (2019)
this is a little science fiction gem
The film shows us the behavior of cuckoo chicks. Beside undeniable similarities, the story of the film is somewhat different.
Here, a couple is taken hostage in a world that defies the laws of physics to some degree. The whole point is that the couple is to rise the offspring of some unknown species. The offspring obviously has the desire to imitate, but it doesn't seem to understand the human behavior sometimes. The offspring is eventually raised to a level that allows it to enter human society and "recruit" more potential parents for more offspring.
The beauty of this film is not that we get shown some fancy alien world, but instead everything seems familiar but actually isn't. Food does not have taste, clouds look too much like clouds, walking towards the sun always takes you back to your own house, etc. Things are only slightly off, which just adds to the insanity.
In spite of its low budget the film is well done. We get to experience the growing insanity of the couple. Imogen Poots gives a solid performance. Jesse Eisenberg is great as usual when he plays a slightly unlikable character. Not to forget Jonathan Aris and the two actors who played the "alien" kid.
Also to all that find that this movie doesn't explain enough: like many others (e.g., Annihilation) this movie doesn't owe you explanations.
Charlie's Angels (2019)
It's a charlie's angels movie - forgettable but entertaining
I didn't view this in the cinema and waited for a different form of release. The press ruined this movie, to be honest. The reason might be an epic failure in the advertising department, but also I would expect the press to look beyond what they have been fed.
I find this movie very similar to the old ones. The angels are women who display certain skills in getting the attention of men. The men seem to underestimate them. And that seems to be the same good old boring dynamic that the old movies had. An inverted James Bond, if you know what I mean.
Yes, there were some statements that women can do everything. But also in the old movies the angels seemed to be very well trained specialists in all sorts of areas. It was unbelievable at times, just like in the old movies. This seems to be some sort of trait of this kind of movies, where characters (men or women) seem to have just the abilities they need to outsmart their opponents.
This film was entertaining but nothing new. In my eyes these angels were no different from the previous ones. So I give it the same rating that I would give the previous movies.
Dracula (2020)
Moffat and Gatiss: please stop it!
When watching the first 2 episodes, I was excited about how good they were. With excitement I started the 3rd episode and imagine my surprise.
The first episode is great. It's mostly carried by Jonathan and Agatha. It was very very good - beside the fact that Jonathan invited Dracula. I guess this break of character was for the sake of the twist? Let's overlook that. Let's call it a 7/10.
About the second episode: it's mostly carried by Agatha and Dracula. Solid acting by both and the supporting cast. Also, the story is exciting and thrilling. However, here we also observe the first attempts of Moffat and Gatiss at being clever: Dracula makes a joke about traveling in a box. Do you remember the Dracula movie (with Gary Oldman)? There, Dracula travels in a box. Maybe it's also in the book. Ha ha ... making fun of an old movie and/or book ... ha ha, very clever (that was sarcasm). Let's give it a 6/10.
Then comes the third episode. I remember the announcement, that they wanted to take Dracula to the modern age. But this doesn't have the charm of the first to episodes. It's rubbish. The story seems to revolve around annoying teenagers this time. Modern Agatha seems less prominent and the whole dynamic between her and Dracula is thrown away. The whole thing that was built up during the first two episodes was for nothing? Instead a ton of new characters are introduced. Then we can also witness Moffat and Gatiss celebrating themselves: Dracula mocks people for putting a toilet in his cell; Dracula cleverly explains why he can immediately handle a modern day camera and a gun; and so forth. There was no suspense. I regret seeing the third episode. It degraded the whole series. I give it 2/10.
So on average we have (7+6+2)/3 = 5 out of 10.
Maybe it would have made more sense to leave the modern day plot for a second season. Then the setup could have been the first episode and we would have a proper introduction of a modern day cast and character dynamic.
I appreciated Dolly Wells' performance very much. She is a great actress. I have not seen her in many big roles like this, which is a shame. Also Claes Bang and John Heffernan were great! After this I noticed that Danish actor Claes Bang was actually on German TV in very bad shows. But here he got to show his talent. I haven't heard of John Heffernan before. Unfortunately his excellent performance was limited to the first episode.
Queen & Slim (2019)
This is a horrible movie
The movie begins with some sort of setup. We learn that Slim is a good guy and that Queen is a lawyer who has lost faith in the law, probably?
Never mind, in some very unbelievable situation, a cop pulls a gun and shoots Queen in the leg because she asks him for his ID number. The whole situation started when Slim asked the cop to hurry up because it's cold. To finish it, Slim grabs the gun and shoots the cop. Remember, Slim is the good guy: he prays and respect human life, as far as I can tell.
Queen, the lawyer, immediately says that they have to run. She knows the law, she saves her uncle from going to prison, and she immediately suggests to run from it. I assume that this is due to some sort of "the black guy is always guilty" thinking that they anticipate from the law. Again, Queen prefers to throw away her life and run from the law!
But wait, did you know how to rob a store? You give away your gun, that's how.
Also, we witness a black kid shoot a black cop in the face! What is going on!?
I know that racism is alive and kicking. I know that there are unjustified killings of black citizens. But the final scene, is just ridiculous.
Slim is CARRYING the corpse of Queen towards the cops and they shoot Slim with I don't know how many bullets. Ever heard of a disabling shot? I don't even think Slim was armed!
As a European, I don't follow the self praise of the US (have you ever heard of a place called Canada?), but I find this portrayal so unbelievable that I must leave a pretty bad rating. I didn't enjoy the movie and I believed the audience laughed at it several times.
This is by no means a fault of the actors. They tried the best they can to get that story across. But it was simply a bad story/screenplay.
Le mystère Henri Pick (2019)
The ending is the worst part
The cinema surprised me with this movie. It had a pretty slow start - but eventually I got captured by the question: who wrote this book, if it wasn't Henri Pick?
Well, and in the moment I was most excited, they just dropped the solution. The investigator had clearly avoided reading the book of his main suspect's boyfriend. Finally, he's sent another copy and then the movie basically jumps to the real author telling us every aspect of the story. Maybe there is some pressure on the real author to reveal himself, but I didn't feel it. In that regard, the movie failed.
Me and the people I was with were very disappointed. I have never seen a resolution like this, I think. I love Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes. But this left us very disappointed.
The acting is very good, but the story is disappointing. Hence my 6 stars rating.
I Am Mother (2019)
Don't watch the trailer
I am happy, that I didn't know the trailer before watching this movie. The false advertising by the trailer probably leads to many bad reviews. Really bad marketing.
The movie was a pleasant surprise in a local sneak preview. In Germany, the movie is actually released in cinemas. Anyhow, the trailer sells it as some sort of action horror - which it is not. It's science fiction with a mystery. It's more like Moon (the one with Sam Rockwell) or Ex Machina. Enjoy the mystery, find the subtle hints the movie gives you about what's going on.
It may not be as good as Ex Machina, but I think that it's an enjoyable movie.
Hellboy (2019)
Expositional talk ahead!
I feel like I listened to 90 minutes of expositional dialog - only interrupted by action scenes. The characters have no character. The villain was mediocre.
The makeup and the prosthetics are great. The monsters and hellboy feel real. Also, a ton of CGI was done - even for some dream sequences. But it all feels wasted. It never goes anywhere. The monster disappear as quickly as they appeared for no reason.
And then, I had the feeling that I've seen it all before. Hellboy will full horns and a fire between them bringing the apocalypse? Hellboy somehow struggling and then deciding to save humanity? Oh well, we had that in the first two movies - in the first one, I believe.
That was not a reboot. That was the last movie in a franchise that did just fine until this movie came along.
Serenity (2019)
an expensive mess
Steven Knight made a pretty good movie called Locke. So after I watched this one and found out that it was from the same write/director, I was shocked.
I could not connect to the characters in this movie. Matthew McConaughey was clearly playing Matthew McConaughey. Sure, he was in financial trouble and drank a lot of alcohol and he didn't catch the big fish. But who cares.
Then Anne Hathaway showed up, and her performance could only stem from the fact that she thought that she was part of a film noir. After I got used to that, I finally started to care for the poor fisher guy. Would he kill or not?
Then there was this guy with the suitcase (Jeremy Strong). He was taken straight from the Lemony Snicket movie. But he was not from a bank and his suitcase contained a machine that would never be used and we should forget about very soon. The forced mystery that he's the only guy who knows that the world isn't real was just that: forced.
The bad guy, played by Jason Clarke, is so over the top, that I couldn't care less. Kill the character off already. So after a while, my interest in the film was purely academical. How would all the story lines finally connect?
The big reveal was that nothing was real and everything was just a computer game programmed by some kid. For some reason, the characters are self-aware (otherwise, the movie would have been much less fun) and so that explains why our fisherman couldn't leave the bed before the alarm rang. It doesn't explain, how the man with the suitcase knew what he knew. It doesn't explain, why the kid eventually kills his stepfather who also happens to be the dead bad guy in the video game.
So in the end, I'm left with a kid who I barely know an irrelevant video game that was apparently under development the whole time, but never showed a glitch.
And so in the end, I lost the connection with the whole movie.
But the film certainly has a glitch. Because apparently the kid programmed the copy of his father as a gigolo who gets money from older attractive ladies for sex. The kid probably spent to many ours on the internet. But doesn't he want to keep good memories of his father?
Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)
Dont sing, please
If I had the choice, I would not have watched this. However, I went to a sneak preview, and surprise: musical meets zombies!
Now apparently the slogan for this movie is "Shaun of the Dead meets La La Land". Sure, Shaun of the Dead comes to mind. But you see, Shaun of the Dead was good, really good, in my opinion. It wouldn't have worked, if Shaun of the Dead would have been made as sloppy as this movie.
And La La Land also was a sneak preview surprise. And I also didn't like it much at first, but by the end I feel like the character might have won me over. There were some characters that I can care about, which is something this movie doesn't have.
The characters in this movie are all caricatures -- every single one of them -- the likes of which I have seen many many times before. The pretty girl, the shy guy, the evil headmaster savage, the evil kid (Nick), etc.
So bottom line, I got a few zombies, a bit of splatter - but that does not make up for the unrelatable characters and the singing. I can enjoy zombies and splatter, but not in this context. Also, the movie did not make me laugh. It's not funny, it was not a blast like the trailer suggests.
Overall, it was painful watching it. Please don't make another movie like this.
Forever My Girl (2018)
A really bad movie
I saw the movie during a "sneak preview". So I would not have bought tickets for this movie intentionally. And I am certainly the target audience for that movie.
So let's subtract the country music because it's not my type of music. What remains is a bad love story. Some "confused" bloke doesn't appear to his wedding and basically disappears for years, because he wants to have a music career.
Somehow he comes back to his bride, which he secretly loved for all those years, but never had the guts to phone her. So she finally takes him back, in the most cheesy scene ever, after he had to beg for a while.
This is a 1 star story, IMHO. The 2 additional stars are purely because of the actress that played the little girl. She delivered her lines so well and funny. And she therefore is the highlight of this movie.
The whole movie had a soap opera feel to it (story wise) and I don't appreciate that. An elderly audience might have more fun watching this.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
What a mess, this film could not connect with the audience
SPOILER: First things first: I loved The Lobster. The Lobster was a comedy, sort of, and when the characters spoke with a very monotone voice and said and did things that normal people wouldn't do, that added to the comedy and it was a pleasure to watch that movie.
Now, this movie is "The Lobster 2" in the sense that people still speak with a very monotone voice and say things they normally wouldn't. For example, during small talk at some party, the mother just casually mentions that her daughter had her first period. The daughter herself mentions that to a boy she just met later on in the movie. That resulted in the audience laughing at the movie.
This is not a comedy. It is also not a horror movie. This is a drama or thriller with strong religious undertones. It is a mixture between the Binding of Isaac and the story of Job. Whatever supernatural being is responsible for punishing the two kids has a moral best described as "an eye for an eye". Something that I thought humanity would have overcome within the last 2000 years. This picture is completed by the "happy end", where the father simply kills one member of his family. This actually works in the sense that the punishment stops.
This doesn't mix well with the bits that are (unintentionally?) funny. In fact, these bits (like the talk about her first period) doesn't add anything to the story.
For me and the audience I was with, the movie failed. People left the cinema. I stayed, cause I wanted to give it a chance. But I was disappointed anyway.