maynewheeler-c Reviews

The Haunting of the Tower of London (2022)

What a load of...

[1/10 · 25 July 2022]

Avoid.

From the crap music, script to acting, its just terrible. I couldnt last the whole thing and I hate myself for even trying to watch it.

Save yourselves and watch something that has enjoyable well written and acted films, you will not get anything here but boredom or screams of laughter at it!

Men (2022)

Interesting film

[4/10 · 23 July 2022]

Your intrigued as the film goes on. She really is a brilliant actress and it has a great story, but BANG - here we go, WOKE wakes up BAME is here interacialism - YAWN! Havent we all had enough of this now.

I was going to rate it more but the crap racial banner kicks in and it can f£ck off for me. Same.

Spiral (2021)

So predictable

[4/10 · 9 December 2021]

I'm not wasting any more time with this. All the clichés, typical cop boss shouting to who knows it all cop, just don't bother. Who funds these types of films, and were the scriptwriters over the ages of 7?

Pass me the vomit bag. Bad choice of viewing.

One and the Same (2021)

Appalling

[2/10 · 23 November 2021]

Don't waste your precious time on this. The worst ham acting you will ever see. Comes over as a TV film. Bad script terrible acting. Why are all the girls speaking in a croaking irritating voice?

It's nearly two hours of my life I will never get back.

Curve (2015)

Predictable yawn.

[1/10 · 5 April 2021]

Errrr. Give me back these minutes. Ughhhhh. What a load of crap.

Triggered (I) (2020)

Avoid unless you like crap comedy.

[1/10 · 20 November 2020]

Jesus. What was this supposed to be? A comedy gone wrong? A diabolical storyline with a terrible script apart from a few comedy classic one liners. If you have a life move on.

Funhouse (2019)

Don't waste your bloated time.

[1/10 · 18 June 2020]

Pantomime acting, lame story, absolutely crap black humour. How did thins ever get the go ahead to be made?

Vivarium (2019)

I know we've got a lot of time on our hands but.....

[2/10 · 29 April 2020]

Well it's confirmed that Mark Kermode has become Barry Norman whereas anything he says is worth watching then give it a massive wide birth. This starts off well then runs out of steam very quickly. Had so much potential but didn't push the envelope. I'm going to put the trade test transmission on to cheer me up.

Haunt (I) (2019)

Good screamer

[5/10 · 30 March 2020]

Fairly original. I tend to turn films off though when the attacked attack back manage to put the attacker down then run away without finishing the job just so they can come back and carry on attacking. Zzzzzzzzzz so predictable. Apart from that it's ok.

Midway (2019)

I've never seen such my dick is bigger than yours crap.

[2/10 · 13 January 2020]

Just come from the hospital to have my arse cheeks surgically unclamped together after watching this want to be blockbuster. Sadly it turned out quite the opposite. The dialogue in this is at its best schoolboy hard man. It's nothing short of embarrassing. Some of the lines Steven Segal would cringe at. The acting is terrible it's like they've taken drugs or something. Harrelson gets away with it putting in a good performance the rest is just amateur. CGI for this day and age is sub standard and does dominate what could of been a great film. I'm writing this as I'm watching that's how gripping it is.

Level 16 (2018)

Not bad. Not great.

[5/10 · 29 September 2019]

Beautifully filmed with a good soundtrack unfortunately that's the best part. The girls act well but it's on a mini budget and it tends to be a bit weak. Has a lot of potential but sadly didn't get there. Loved the OST.

Midsommar (2019)

Good soundtrack

[1/10 · 23 September 2019]

That's it. Film is absolutely terrible. Anyone who rated this over a 3 must be on the same drugs or just a lovey. Watch the wicker man or just watch the moon you'll be more entertained.

Murder Party (2007)

More like a students play

[4/10 · 8 March 2019]

This really is so low budget based on a very simple story line. The so called humour will raise a dry grin maybe after 10 pints but did little for me. The one and only thing that kept me hooked for 30 minutes or so was the girls silver pants. Ding dong. That said it was very easy to turn off and I know I won't miss anything.

Clara (III) (2018)

Just brilliant

[8/10 · 26 February 2019]

You never know where it's going and when you finally do it's both heartbreaking and mesmerising at the same time. Thoroughly enjoyable and highly recommended.

Splinter (I) (2008)

Appalling camera work

[3/10 · 15 February 2019]

Shame really as it's not too bad a film. I would of rated higher had it not be for the ridiculously shaky camera work which spoilt the whole thing.