bug76 Reviews

The Bible (2013)

Soul Wrenching

[10/10 · 29 September 2013]

Never have I seen a show that has touched me so deeply as this epic mini-series. I'm all for it when 'The Bible' reaches new listeners, picks up those that have fallen, those who are lost or refreshes their faith when it has gone stale.

I was struggling this past year with many things. I am a person of faith but felt that even I had lost some of the fire in my soul. I was having trouble finding it again. I had faith. I just felt it was becoming 'stale'.

Then, I watched 'The Bible' when it first came out on the History Channel. I loved every minute of the stories from 'Genesis' to the book of 'Revelation'. I felt some of that fire returning. Diogo Morgado lit up the screen with his portrayal of Jesus Christ. I saw such passion on his face and love in his eyes every second he was on screen. But, what lifted my spirits and renewed every ounce of faith I had in me was when I saw the interview of Diogo on Youtube. With so much warmth and conviction, he teared up as he talked about how he was haunted by the Crucifixion scene. I know Diogo is a very talented actor but he seemed completely genuine and humbled by going through this experience. He did shine when he talked about his role. It was evident on his face.

But, can we please drop the #HotJesus now?(I never jumped on that bandwagon). It feels sacrilegious to me. He gets asked about that hash-tag in every interview and I know he's being nice but I can tell it makes him a little uncomfortable. I like #SexyDiogo, however. I like #LovingJesus or #MercifulJesus. But not #HotJesus. This beautiful story isn't about how sexy people think Jesus(Morgado) is but what He came here to do for us. Matthew 26:28: "For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remissions of sins." That's the message this whole series is trying to convey. Jesus gives his heart freely and loves unconditionally. He sacrificed so that we may live.

Darwin Shawn, as the disciple, Peter, did a fantastic job embracing the role of Jesus' favorite follower. He truly let the Lord work through him and was so convincing in his role that I wanted to be there in that moment with him; with them all. Roma Downey was excellent as Mary. To watch her help her son pick up his cross, knowing what was in store for him was heart breaking. We get to see suffering on different levels and in various ways. We suffer through the eyes of another--'suffering by proxy'.

Since I've already watched it on t.v., I'm leaving a review now. Though, I will be getting the DVD for my birthday next month! :) Diogo Morgado said he would be happy if this series even touched one soul. No, you have touched millions with your gifts. Never let them die or become corrupted by the monsters of the industry. Your role has renewed my spirit. He was perfect for this role as Jesus Christ. He seems down to earth and humble. He wanted to play the Jesus he knew. In Matthew 11:29---"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto you souls." No one could portray Jesus so humbly as Diogo has so beautifully done. Who better to play the part than one who is kind, warm and also humble? Example: When asked if he was 'famous' in Portugal, he said, "I'm known there." A perfect answer. He didn't say 'I'm a famous actor/model'. It does one no good to think too highly of him/herself. It's better to let others praise your work than to praise yourself.

I highly recommend this series to any and all who are looking for more; for those who are tired of what they are watching on t.v. and in movies; for those who have seen enough violence and depravity to last two lifetimes; for those seeking the positive to overshadow all the negative we endure in this world.

Diogo didn't have say a word or even move. I've never seen an actor convey everything they had in them as Diogo did portraying Jesus. I knew exactly what he was 'saying' just by looking in his eyes. Diogo is extremely blessed and gifted when all he needs to do is show his eyes and you just know. The eyes are the windows to the soul. It seems Diogo really is a sweet person if the saying is true.

Watch my video that is dedicated to this series. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzJ01VFKWas

White Fang (1993–1994)

Gorgeous scenery, etc.

[7/10 · 10 February 2012]

This DVD collection grew on me. While the budget wasn't Hollywood, with scenery like that, who needs it? Lush fields and gorgeous mountains as far as the eye could see. The series gets extra points for that since I'm a nature girl and I hate city life. The show centers on White Fang and 'Matt', hence the show's name, "White Fang". Points go to that majestic creature as I love wolves and for the mere fact that I was fooled into thinking Jaimz Wolvett(Matt) was really a teenager. When I figured out he was 26 while filming this series, I was shocked. Now I don't feel so bad about thinking how adorable he is.( I thought I was older than him.) I loved the simplicity of this show and that it is suitable for all ages. Not every show and movie needs to be revolved around nudity, gore, bad language and violence. Of course, I always get a kick out of the ending when Matt tells Fang, "I Love you, White Fang", and the wolf responds pretty clearly that he loves Matt as well. It makes me smile.

Once Upon a Time (2011–2018)

Best new enchanting series this year

[10/10 · 14 January 2012]

I have been watching "Once Upon a Time" since it first began and I haven't missed an episode. It's a wonderful play on children's fairy tales with a grown-up twist. I love to see that what's happening in the fairy tale world is parallel to the characters in Storybrooke but in a modern way. I usually don't get too excited over a series before I have a chance to see it. I usually watch an episode or two before I decide to keep watching. I was intrigued by this new series from the time I saw the first advertisement about it and it did not disappoint. I will continue to keep watching "Once Upon a Time". I can't wait to see what twists and turns this show takes. Truly a must see for anyone, especially those who have a penchant for fairy tales.

100 Proof (1997)

Great but disturbing

[7/10 · 9 June 2011]

*I put a spoilers warning just in case.

'100 Proof' in one word: "Disturbing." There seemed to be unfinished business in this movie that didn't get resolved. It didn't delve into the relationship between Rae and Carla, which seems to suggest at something more intimate but nothing was answered. The ending raised more questions and had no answers to what happened after the shootings and what happened to Rae's father, played by Jim Varney. I can see how suffering all of the physical and mental abuse from her father would drive Rae over the edge but I felt it wasn't explained as thoroughly as it should have been. There were some holes in the plot. With that said, I'll admit that I had my reservations about watching this movie at all, mainly because of Jim Varney's role as an abusive, incestuous father, something I'm definitely not used to. Curiosity won over my hesitation and I'm glad it did. Mr. Varney was truly the most gifted, multi-faceted actor I've ever had the privilege of watching. While he wasn't the star of the show and only had a small part, he completely outshone the other stars. His powerful on screen presence overshadowed Rae and Carla. With only a small role, Varney was able to steal the entire movie right out from under them. He completely blew my away with this role. To go from that affable, lovable funny man, 'Ernest P. Worrell' to Rae's father, and every other character in between, and to do it so proficiently, is a rare talent indeed. If you grew up with 'Ernest P. Worrell', as I did, believe me, you will see absolutely no hint of that humble hayseed in this movie so don't go looking for him here. How Hollywood pigeon-holed Varney into Ernest is beyond me. It's too bad it took them so long to remove the 'Ernest Blinders'. If Varney were alive today, you can bet he'd be acting circles around these so-called big name celebrities. If you do watch this movie, watch with caution. There are some very disturbing moments in this.

Witless Protection (2008)

Eh, I've seen better

[3/10 · 4 June 2011]

I wish I could tell you the plot of this movie but it failed to have one. I can't believe I watched it all the way through. It garnered about 2 laughs from me. It had too much crude humor that left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Not to mention the bathroom jokes. Larry, played by Larry, is a cop(of sorts?) thinking that Madeleine(Ivana) is kidnapped when she is actually in the witness protection program. Craziness ensues and I can't say much else. It was hard to follow-or maybe it was because I kept zoning out during the movie. I love slapstick but I think I'll stick to Jim Varney's slapstick humor. There seems to be some similarity between the two comedians. The hat, the accent, the clothes(coincidence?) and the fact that they both did stand up and went to movies though Varney was a whole lot better. Let's just hope Larry doesn't start branching out into commercials. I say, stick with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, which I think works best for Larry and please stop making movies. I'm afraid to watch the other movies that Larry has made. But, I watched this movie, trying to give it the benefit of the doubt. I did have an open mind, but I just couldn't like it.

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Funny but not for all ages

[7/10 · 28 May 2011]

While I did enjoy most of this movie and enjoy Robin Williams' talents, the fact that this movie is labeled a "Family Movie" is a little disturbing to me. 1) as another reviewer had pointed out, deliberately putting pepper onto Stu's food, knowing full well he was allergic, wasn't funny. Food allergies can be deadly. 2) The use of God's name in vain that Daniel uses, especially in front on the youngest Hillard was totally out of line. How is that family friendly? Especially in another scene when she repeats that line to her mom is more than disturbing. Even if she was encouraged to use a slightly different word, how can they let a child even pretend to say it? Kids are impressionable, especially if they see another kid doing or saying something. It's amazing what movies are labeled for the family. But that aside, I did like watching this movie and even have it on tape, but I don't recommend it for young kids. If they had left out the bad language, food poisoning and sexual innuendo, then it would've been perfect for all ages. Sorry, Robin, but I knew it was you under that mask. Besides, "Tootsie", the only other male that could be 100% convincing as a old woman would be Jim Varney's 'Auntie Nelda', who BTW only wore a wig, glasses and make-up but didn't have on a new 'face'. 'Mrs. Doubtfire' was a costume worn just to see Daniel's kids. 'Auntie Nelda' was a part of the 'Worrell' family. But in seeing 'Mrs. Doubtfire', I wondered if 'she' was inspired by 'Auntie Nelda' since Jim and Robin were friends. No disrespect to Robin-who I think is funny-but I think Jim Varney's 'Auntie Nelda' was funnier. And without the use of bad language and sexual content.

Ernest Rides Again (1993)

"There once was a man named Worrell-Ernest P. Worrell"

[10/10 · 9 May 2011]

Move over Indiana Jones. Here comes Ernest P. Worrell, our underdog hero. Let me start out by saying this: 'Critics-Schmitics'. Don't let the nay saying critics and reviewers dissuade you from picking up this classic movie. No disrespect, but they obviously don't have a humorous bone in their bodies and don't know how to remove the stick from their butts. I love the Ernest genre and can be biased about Jim Varney but even if I didn't like some of the other Ernest movies, this is a true gem. This is like a live action cartoon and Varney is his own cartoon character. As he once said, "Oh, I guess I would be if I weren't just THAT close to being an actual cartoon." Listen to me and the other positive reviews. This was very well written and very well acted and consistent. The opening song is wonderful and describes Ernest to a T. You've got a 5 ton historical cannon named, "Goliath", lots of gun fire, a healthy dose of slapstick by the master himself, Varney, who voices a plethora of characters in top notch form. You have Dr. Abner Melon(Ron James and the 'Vern' of the movie), a meek history professor who is uptight, but thanks to Ernest, learns to loosen up and enjoy an adventure. There is Nan Melon(Linda Kash), Abner's annoying, and overbearing wife and two pesky salesman that finish each other's sentences with perfect timing. Tom Butler(Dr. Radnor T. Glencliff), who has played in various Lifetime movies as a lawyer and all around 'good guy', has the villainous role in this one and is great. He will stop at nothing, even to the point of killing Ernest to get at 'Goliath' and the crown jewels. Comedy ensues as Ernest is the one to find 'Goliath' and takes it for a wild ride everywhere a cannon should not be going. Varney and James play well off each other and this movie couldn't have been cast any better. But unlike other Ernest movies, Ernest seems to have a bit of a higher intellect in this one while still being that lovable hayseed we all know. Even if you're not a big fan of the Ernest genre, I urge you to give this one a chance and form your own opinions because, unlike the reviews of some critics, this movie definitely has merit. Not only did Varney bring back slapstick, he did it even better and was/is still one of the best at this brand of humor. As with all Ernest movies, this is free of vulgarity and filth but still a great ride, 'KnoWhutImean?'

The Sisterhood (2004 Video)

If you value your IQ, do not subject yourself to it.

[1/10 · 1 May 2011]

My sister knows of my love of vampire movies and novels. She asked me to watch "The Sisterhood". Come to find out later, she did it as a joke. I knew I had just lost over an hour of my life for nothing. I've never seen a more mind numbing movie in my life. What were they thinking? The actors were completely atrocious. They sounded more like they were reading cue cards(and badly) than talking from memory. Most of the movie was girl-on-girl action and touching themselves when no one else was around. Tasteless. Cheap, extremely cheap, special effects. Lame script. No plot(was it even really about vampires?) Crappy location. Were these people hired because they agreed to take their clothes off? I can't help but recall a quote when I watched this. "It just goes to show you, you don't have to have brains to make it in showbiz". And this film proved that theory. If I could have given this movie lower than a 0, I would've. I can't even tell you exactly what it was about. By watching this, I could physically feel my IQ points drop. Fortunately, I picked up a classic novel and begin to reload my brain back to full capacity. So, if you value your intelligence, don't even touch the case that the movie comes in. If you do watch it and feel yourself becoming dumber, don't say I didn't warn you. Pick up a Shakespeare novel or watch "The Gummi Bears". At least you'll learn something.

True Blood (2008–2014)

What?!!

[2/10 · 1 May 2011]

I have one question: "Why did this series get picked up for a second season?" Why it was is beyond me. It just shocks me to see some people get a nomination for so-so acting when I see others that put so much of themselves(110%) into a character that you actually believe they are that character but they get passed up. The accents seemed forced and I'm from the South. I don't want to start on Tara's constant bad accent, bickering about slaves and whites. She acts like she's taking the high road, but ends up sleeping with Sam 'for the heck of it'. She just wanted to scratch an itch. I thought Sam was so in love with Sookie. Well, we all know what men think with. This show just did not ring true for me. I am one that just loves vampire lore. Even this didn't keep my attention. 1/3 of the way through the 1st episode, I found myself more enthralled with a game on my cell phone. This show wasn't so much about vampires and their history but more of who can sleep with who, how much nudity they can show and how much swearing can they fit into a line. Where's the story? There were bits and pieces but they get so lost in the constant swearing and over the top sex scenes that were utterly tasteless. 'True Blood'? It should've been called 'Sex with Sookie's brother'. Anna Paquin, IMO, was much better as 'Rogue' in "X-Men". Tara's accent was not believable. And the deal with the vampires now living out in the open, going to bars with mortals, being served 'synthetic' blood in beer bottles? Sorry. Anne Rice got it down much better. And for that matter, so did Bram Stoker and the series, "Vampire Diaries". I didn't get a sense of history with these vampires. I just couldn't follow the show. With other vampires movies and t.v. shows, I knew where they were coming from and I knew where they were going. This show doesn't have a solid plot. It jumps from scene to scene a little too awkwardly. If you want a true vampire story that has the feeling of real history, I suggest watching "Interview with the Vampire" or Bram Stoker's "Dracula". You will at least learn something and they are mentally stimulating. But if you like mind numbing television, then "True Blood" is for you. The only other vampire show worse than this was 'The Sisterhood'.

Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam (1985)

I loved it. I give it 3 thumbs up

[10/10 · 13 April 2011]

I bought this movie on DVD. This movie was one of the zaniest I've ever seen. I loved it!! I find Dr. Otto Von Schnick-ick-ick-ick strangely attractive. I couldn't help but side with Dr. Otto because of how awful his parents treated him. Lance Sterling, IMO, was a pathetic hero. He really didn't know all that much but he was born to a wealthy family so I guess money talks. Dr. Otto and Lance are total opposites. Otto wants to destroy the world by making money worthless. He demagnetizes credit cards, damages bank accounts, scrambles the stock market. The government has no idea who owes who and how much. In a way, this movie wasn't far off the mark. This was ahead of its time. It reminds me of how the economy is today: In a huge mess. I love the 'Changing coffin'. Dr. Otto becomes Rudd Hardtact with a lizard on his shoulder, Auntie Nelda, Laughin' Jack and Guy Dandy. What I liked as well was that Bill Byrge actually had a speaking role as the gas attendant. We all know Bill as 'Bobby' on other 'Ernest' movies. This is not an Ernest movie per se. It had a darker theme to it. But, of course, I cracked the hugest smile at the end of the movie when none other than Ernest P. Worrell stepped out of the changing coffin. Gotta love Ernest. I recommend this movie and not only because of Ernest. But because it's also pretty crazy. But seeing Ernest is a bonus!

The Ernest Film Festival (1986 Video)

Get this. You won't be sorry.

[10/10 · 29 March 2011]

I'll be the first to say, I am not a fan of commercials and would rather mute the t.v. or flip to another channel while an ad is playing. They just don't interest me into buying anything they're selling. I've been that way since I was little. Commercials to me were just an unnecessary distraction from a good movie. I remember sitting on the floor in the living room watching t.v. when I was about 7. A commercial came on but something strange happened: I didn't want to ignore this one. It grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Maybe it was the smile or the genuine way he looked, but when he was telling Vern about Sprite and having the window slam down on his hands, I was hooked. Me, hooked on a mere 30 second commercial. This man was Ernest P. Worrell and I became a fan that day. I would start watching t.v. just to see if I could get a glimpse of Ernest again. Then came more Sprite commercials and Mello Yello ones, too. Getting electrocuted and being pushed off the ladder was so funny. I've never seen ads like these before and probably won't see any like these again. Of course, I didn't figure out that this man playing Ernest was Jim Varney until I went to see 'Ernest Goes to Camp' because when I heard about 'the Ernest character from the commercials was going to be in his first Ernest movie', I didn't want to miss it. And I never missed an Ernest movie when they came out. To me, he WAS Ernest. He never seemed like he was playing a fictional character. With other ads, I knew they were just playing a part but I never got the sense that Varney was acting. In fact, I love his commercials so much, I bought them on the 'Essential Ernest' DVD, which includes 'Ernest's Greatest Hits Volume I and II." I even have them memorized verbatim along with his mannerisms and hand gestures. They even have bloopers and they will crack you up. They make me want to go out and find a Braum's or some Purity Ice Cream, but they don't sell those brands where I live. I'm glad he made some national commercials. Trust me, if you don't like commercials, you'll still be thoroughly entertained with these. Believe me, because this is coming from a person who had no use for advertisements before. And the Ernest commercials are the only ones I remember from my childhood. A must have.

Fast Food (1989)

Tasty Wrangler Bob Bundy

[7/10 · 29 March 2011]

I probably wouldn't have purchased this DVD if Varney wasn't in it. He's excellent as uptight and mean Wrangler Bob Bundy and it was great seeing him in a different role. Although, when I was enjoying a mouthful of my soda, the movie cut to a scene with Wrangler Bob Bundy(Varney) in his office and, beat it all, he was riding one of those mechanical horses where you put the quarter into the little slot. I almost choked to death on my soda, some of it coming out of my nose. It totally caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting Bob Bundy to be funny because he was more of a bad guy. Only Varney, who was 40 at the time, could pull off that kind of scene. Any one else would've looked ridiculous. With Varney, it was a laugh-until-I-hurt funny. Yes, this was a B-movie but it was pretty entertaining. The secret's in the sauce and I wonder what was in it. It certainly made that uptight sorority girl loosen up. I was surprised that I found myself to like this one. Maybe I'm biased, I don't know. I tend to be if Varney is in the movie. This movie really doesn't have too much crude humor or bad language and actually did have a message. Auggie always tried to take the easy way out, thinking he could coast through life on his charm, but figured out that he was really good at running a business. When he finally took life seriously and buckled down, he found out that hard work does pay off. All in all, I'm glad I bought the movie.

Fernwood Tonight: Getting the Most from Your Warranty (1977) Season 1, Episode 38

Before Ernest, there was Virgil Simms

[10/10 · 29 March 2011]

I didn't know about the show, 'Fernwood 2Night'. But, being a fan of Jim Varney and his Ernest character, I looked around to find all the shows he's ever been in and happened upon this selection. This show is just hilarious and there seems to be some ad-libbing going on and it makes it even more hilarious. Jim Varney as 'Virgil Simms' is so much fun to watch and a real treat for me to see Jim in his 20's and before the Ernest character surfaced 3 three years later. I laughed until I didn't think I could laugh anymore. My guess is that the Virgil Simms character might have inspired the 'Coy Worrell' character. This is also a rare comedy that's not dirty or laced with profanity. I was only 1 when this came out so I didn't know of its existence for many years but I'm glad to have found this show and something that Jim Varney played in prior to his Ernest commercials and movies. I definitely recommend getting this show. If you find it on sale, then buy it. You won't be disappointed. FYI: Jim, Martin and Fred would later reunite in two episodes of the ninth season of 'Roseanne'.

The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)

Wooo-Weee, VARNEY!!

[10/10 · 27 March 2011]

While others seemed quite surprised at Varney's dramatic performance as Jed as being excellent(most associate him with lovable Ernest P. Worrell), I was not surprised. I love the Ernest character and the entire Ernest genre. With Varney being able to pull off a multitude of characters and voices(over 61), I wasn't shocked at his performance as the serious Jed Clampett. It was refreshing to see him play the straight role while the comedy was happening around him. I've always wanted to see Varney in dramatic roles as well and knew he had it in him to do so. Varney was the perfect choice for Jed and no one could've done better. Ebsen should be proud. I must admit, I was so used to seeing Varney as Ernest that I WAS shocked when I saw 'Jed' come down the stairs in a black hat, white shirt and black pants. The first thing I thought was, "Weeeee, Doggie. Sexy." I couldn't help myself. I'm from Alabama, and I know that the accents were somewhat forced on some parts like Elly Mae's but Varney's was dead on. Since he was born in Kentucky and lived in Tennessee, how could it not? With Tomlin, Parton and Coleman, it felt like a 9-5 reunion. Bader playing the moronic Jethro cracked me up especially when he 'figured' out how to bowl. Leachman as Granny was perfect. Being such a small little thing, she has a big personality. I remember watching her as the witch in 'Hansel and Gretal' and just loving the performance. Another hilarious scene was how the Clampett's gave everyone on the interstate the bird because they honestly thought that was how people said hello in 'Californy'. One of my favorite parts was when two hooligans come up beside them after being cut off by Jethro, and pull a gun. Jed stands up, points a huge rifle at them and says, "That's real nice, son. This here's what I carry." The two guys speed away. I grew up watching some of the reruns of the original 'Beverly Hillbillies'. And the movie is a nice parody of the original, but keeping true to the story and characters. Jim sang a version of 'Hot Rod Lincoln' and it was just excellent. Not only did he had a wonderful singing voice, he was also very articulate. I recommend this movie. If you're a Varney fan then I highly recommend you get this and enjoy!!

Slam Dunk Ernest (1995 Video)

Way to dunk it, Ernest!

[10/10 · 27 March 2011]

I loved this movie and the message it was sending. My guess is to why the writers had the Clean Sweep team lay into Ernest like they did was for us to pull for Ernest even harder. Which is, by no means, a hardship for me. I root for Ernest in every movie. I was extremely ticked off by the team mocking Ernest, calling him a 'dumb redneck' and 'whiter than white' or '150 pound Gilligan dodo looking bird'. It made me want to take that basketball and shove it so far up their butts until it popped out of their heads. All Ernest wanted was to be a part of the team. Of course, very reluctantly, they let him because, as always, Ernest takes the blame when things go wrong at the mall where they work cleaning after hours when, in fact, they were all to blame for playing basketball in the store. Ernest loses the first game for them when he accidentally knocks over a cart of basketballs, tripping their opponent, giving him a chance to beat them by one point when he took his two shots at the hoop. The Archangel of Basketball appears after everyone else leaves the locker room where they left Ernest by himself and miserable. Ernest is given magic shoes but warned not to misuse them. Which, he doesn't at first. But, eventually, all that attention goes to his head. In a way, I can't blame him for his inflated ego. Ernest has a crush on Erma who at first seems sweet until that slime-ball, Zimmel, promises her the winning lottery ticket if she strung along Ernest. Erma 'the gold digger' does because, of course, all she cares about is 'more money'. And she only likes Ernest because she thinks he will make a lot of money and would spend it on her. Ernest becomes such a great player that even Barry's son, Quincy, starts looking up to Ernest and downing his dad, which Ernest has a problem with. Quincy, in fact, stole a pair of the same shoes because he wanted to be like Ernest and have the edge. Either way, it seems Ernest can't win. He messes up; the team hates him. He wins; they love him. He becomes the center of attention and basically plays the game by himself; they hate him again. But, good 'ol Ernest begins acting like the same Ernest we know and love. He discards the shoes and sits on the bench. Zimmel and Erma try to persuade him to put the shoes back on and get out there and play. But, Ernest tells Zimmel to leave him alone. And when Erma asks him, "What about me?", he tells her that she wasn't who he thought she was and tells them both to get away and leave him alone. But when CJ gets fouled out, Ernest has to play and, finally, the Clean Sweep team admit that he was really a part of the team. With that encouragement, Ernest gets back on the court and, with seconds to go before the end of the game, scores the winning point. All in all, Ernest didn't really care about fame and fortune. He just wanted to be included and to be a part of something. All he ever wanted was just to have friends. Ernest may be simplistic and not really all that book smart but he really is a pure genius where it counts: his heart.

Snowboard Academy (1997 Video)

I'm on the fence with this one

[6/10 · 26 March 2011]

Yes, I did buy this on DVD solely because Jim Varney is in it and I'm a huge fan. Even though this movie falls flat most of the time, Varney is the only one I wanted to see. Bless him, he always gave 110% to a role regardless of how crappy the script might be. (So far, the only crappy script was in this movie.) I love him as Ernest because I believe 100% that that was Jim's true calling. His character, 'Rudy James' does pull some Ernest-esque type stunts but without the Ernest charm I love so much. However, when Rudy slipped and started sliding in the snow, screaming like Ernest, and ended up crashing head first into a tree, I accidentally blurted out "Poor Ernest" before I could stop myself. I don't like pigeon-holing a character and I never did until then. I've come to realize that movies with very little heart, no strong moral foundation, foul language and sexual content don't do well for Varney. He was a stunning and brilliant actor but deep down I don't think he was ever meant to be in these types of movies. When he played down-to-earth, genuine characters like Ernest or 'Carl Banks' from 'Treehouse Hostage', you can see a difference in him. I think because in real life it was because Varney was a really sweet, down-to-earth, unpretentious man. Varney is hilarious in this movie and he has a great singing voice when he was entertaining customers at the bar. I found myself just going back to that scene and listening over and over again. I was ticked, however, when they cut away to show a scene between the bartender and the son of the owner of the resort(Flaherty). I was quite content on listening to Jim sing. True Varney fans(like myself) might want this one, but if not, leave it.

Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

"Boy, I sure hope you're from Keebler"

[10/10 · 25 March 2011]

"Boy, I sure hope you're from Keebler". That line had me cracking up every time. I have to say: Trantor was and still is the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I remember this movie fondly as a kid and as an adult I still appreciate Varney's clean brand of humor. The moral: "Unconditional love is the strongest weapon of them all." Phineas Worrell managed to bury Trantor, having the roots of a tree be its prison but before they bury him in dirt, he curses the Worrell blood line by having them get dumber and dumber. Enter Ernest P. Worrell, not very bright but full of heart. When the bullies tear down the kids' playhouse, Ernest helps them find a tree so they can have the 'high ground'. Unfortunately, he goes and picks the one tree that has the imprisoned troll, Trantor. Old Lady Hackmore(Kitt) finds out and flees from the place and Ernest goes after her. Having returned, Ernest explains to the children about what Lady Hackmore has told him about the curse. Being Ernest, he says the one thing he shouldn't have: "Yay, I call thee forth Trantor" and knocks on the tree 3 times, thus releasing the evil troll. After being released, he starts going after the children to turn them into wooden dolls to 'feed' his army of trolls that begin sprouting from the tree. But only a Worrell can stop him. Lady Hackmore shows Ernest a book that tells him how he can rid the town of this troll. "Thoust can destroyeth a troll with MI_K". The only thing Ernest can think of is MIAK, which we know doesn't work. Kenny finds out that it is actually milk that can destroy the trolls. And how clever, the brand of milk used is Purity, the brand Ernest hawked in his commercials. Ernest becomes angry after Trantor turns Rimshot into a wooden doll and vows to kill Trantor. After arriving, the pods started to drop and many more trolls started 'hatching'. When the kids arrive, they begin shooting these trolls with milk from toy guns. Eventually, Trantor is left but he managed to summon the demons to make him stronger and therefore, milk would not kill him. Thankfully, Ernest figures out that unconditional love would be the only thing to kill Trantor. He goes from angry to happy in the blink of an eye. He tells the troll, "Aw, you're so cute" and kisses old Booger Lips with all the love in the world, which makes Ernest pull an 'Ewwwww' and I had to pull an 'Ewww' myself. That loving little smooch ended up destroying the troll and all the kids and Rimshot turned back to normal. This is a great Halloween movie for the whole family to enjoy. It's good, wholesome fun. No foul language and no innuendos. The trolls are scary but not enough to scar a child for life. They'll have plenty of time for that if they watch the movies Hollywood is putting out today.

Ernest Goes to School (1994)

Where's the DVD version?

[10/10 · 25 March 2011]

"Jim Varney is a very poor man's Jim Carrey". I find that statement insulting and, well, downright stupid. Varney paved the way for comedians like Carrey. At least Varney kept it clean in his Ernest movies. I like Carrey but even his supposed 'kid-friendly' shows have profanity. "Liar Liar", while not for the very young, had Carrey taking the Lord's name in vain. I've never in my whole life heard Varney say that. Has society been reduced to thinking that movies have to be laced with profanity, the same old mindless sex scenes, violence and nudity? Why is it okay for trashy movies with absolutely no heart, no plot and no moral message be given a higher rating simply because that 'hot chick' can't keep her clothes on or an overly buffed steroid-using man that blows everybody away or beats on a woman? I guess most wouldn't consider a movie unless someone had their butts hanging out of their shorts. Have people today turned into zombies? It seems Hollywood has taken over your minds. Do you see the crap out there in Hollywood now? Movies today suck. I haven't been to a theater since 'Harry Potter 3'. I doubt I'll be back. I have 'Ernest Goes to School' on tape and unfortunately, I try not to play it much because I know I will wear it out. I wish they would put this out on DVD so I can enjoy this movie more often. Varney plays one of his characters I love to hate but still love to watch: Astor Clement. Varney pulls off this character(like all the others) extremely well. Astor is a hoity-toity know-it-all that thinks he is smarter than the whole world. Quite a difference from that lovable sweetheart, Ernest. Ernest is the janitor at Chickasaw Falls high school and never graduated. But, another school wants to merge with Chickasaw Falls and requires all employees have a high school diploma. Fortunately, Greta(Kash) and Bobby(Byrge) have developed a machine capable of making Ernest super intelligent. He tries out the machine and immediately becomes knowledgeable in every subject but unfortunately, the more he uses the machine, the more of a jerk he becomes, alienating his friends and co-workers. Some football bullies eventually find out what Ernest is doing and go in and trash the machine, leaving Ernest as Ernest before a big test. His friends still help him by tutoring him day and night. Before the big test, Greta and Bobby fix the machine but Ernest decides against using it because his friends worked so hard at tutoring him and he doesn't want to let them down. Ernest had it in him all along. Hard work does pay off and taking the easy way out is not always the smartest way out, 'KnoWhutImean?'

Ernest in the Army (1998)

Jim Varney-one of a kind

[10/10 · 25 March 2011]

Having served in the United States Army while this was in production, of course, I'll have a soft spot for this movie. Ernest was serving while I was serving. Pretty cool. Besides, it has Ernest(Varney). Two of my favorite one liners: "I'm poultry in motion" and "No ma'am, I'm Southern Baptist". Varney always gave 110% to his Ernest character and every other character he's portrayed. I do love his Sgt. Glory character and I'm glad to have seen more of him in not only this movie but in the "Hey, Vern! It's Ernest" series. I do realize that when this was made, Varney was suffering from lung cancer though didn't release the info until August of 1998. I really wanted to see 'Ernest the Pirate' and I heard it was almost through before he passed away. What a legend of a guy. Varney and Ernest were so interwoven together that he has made him irreplaceable. Shame on Cherry for trying out a 'New Ernest'. Ernest fans should get this. People who have served or are now serving in the military should get this. This movie had a lot of heart, just like all the Ernest movies did. At first, Ernest is conned into giving Ben-Ali money for a lucky charm but when Ernest saves Ben-Ali from bullies, he gives all his money back and befriends Ernest, who always seem to take in the disadvantaged kids in every movie. That's why we love Ernest. He's the underdog and wears his heart on the outside for the whole world to see. He always helped those who needed it most. He even helped those who ridiculed him. Jim 'Ernest' Varney will always live on. Of course, Ernest gets electrocuted, always a joy to watch. It never fails to make me laugh. R.I.P. Varney 1949-2000. You're still in our hearts. Your movies will always have a place in my DVD player.

Ernest Goes to Africa (1997 Video)

Hey, You. It's Ernest

[10/10 · 25 March 2011]

While this movie does have a bit of a darker feel, it is still a good one. I know it has been said that every other actor-besides Varney-were C movie actors. Well, maybe, maybe not. I think it's because Varney has a way of stealing a scene or a show and overshadowing every one. My favorite character-besides Ernest-came out. Good old bitter, Auntie Nelda. She's always fun to watch. Hey, You the Hindu cracked me up and was the first time I've seen that character. But what really took the cake was Varney dressed up as a Harem Girl and dancing to the beat of his own drum. But, 'she' catches the eye of the prince and, not knowing that the Harem Girl is really a man-Varney, the prince kisses 'her'. I laughed so hard especially when the camera got a close up of Varney doing his 'Eewwwww' face. I have to say, Varney doesn't look bad in a blond wig and false lashes. It also got me to wondering, since Varney and Robin Williams were friends, did Varney's character, Auntie Nelda inspire Robin's character, "Mrs. Doubtfire"? Coincidence? They do resemble one another quite well. I do wish that 'Ernest the Pirate' was finished. I would've loved to add that to my large 'Jim Varney' collection. I'm happy about my array of Ernest movies and sad as well because I know there will be no more and I have to be satisfied with all the Ernest movies and Jim Varney movies I have. And no, I will NOT resort to watching the 'New Ernest'. That would be an insult to the 'Real Ernest'. It's like a slap in the face to Varney. I recommend watching this movie but I will say this: it isn't for small children. Teenagers are OK. No, there's no bad language or crude, sexual content. But there is the deal with the rhino named Dorothy who takes the heads off the goons, which you don't see but it's implied. And there is an implication of cannibalism. So, no not for the younger crowd. It is rated PG, so adults have to decide if their kids can watch it. I love it! I'm a sucker for anything Ernest.

Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)

Gotta love Varney

[10/10 · 25 March 2011]

Some may say that people will get tired of Ernest. It's hard to believe. He's been gone for 11 years and there's still no sign of people forgetting Ernest. If people were tired of him much earlier on, why, I ask you, did Varney make 4,000 commercials? Yes, 4,000. I didn't add an extra 0 here. That's unheard of with any one else. Varney was the only one to reach cult status with 30 second ads. I don't even like commercials and I found his thoroughly entertaining. I loved them so much,I bought them on DVD. With that said, "Ernest Goes to Jail" is hilarious. And, we get to see him play bad-guy, Mr. Felix Nash-quite a difference from Ernest's goofball slap stick. Nash is far from Ernest, being organized, clever and mean. In this installment from the Ernest line, Varney shows off his God given rare talents. Looking in the mirror in jail, he tries to come off as Nash by using different voices and facial contortions. It never fails to make me laugh. The ink pen scene is classic. It's so funny watching him try to clean off the ink only to smear it worse all over his face. Plus, he gets electrocuted 4 times in this movie. "Hey,Vern! No one gets electrocuted like Varney, KnoWhutImean?" The beginning of the movie has Ernest trying to start the floor polisher only to have it take on a mind of its own by dragging Ernest all over the floor and up the wall. Ernest's screams are just adorable. Especially 4 minutes and 34 seconds into the movie. Any other jail movie would be loaded with violence and bad language and the fact is, I wouldn't care to watch them. This is probably the only jail movie that was free of vulgarity and was still a treat to watch. Varney made his Ernest movies kid friendly-for all ages to enjoy. C'mon, we all know that Ernest was Jim's true calling because mostly everyone refers to him as Ernest. And no one will ever be able to replace him. I know that Vern missed Ernest. He even left a note for Ernest at www.vernssuicidenote.blogspot.com. I've read it. It's quite humorous as well. When I first saw "Ernest Goes to Jail" at 14 when it first came out, I wanted a house like Ernest's, right down to that cool washer and dryer. The 'electric toothbrushes' would be pretty nice to have, too. Brush all your teeth at the same time in half the time. We all know that Jim paved the way for people like Jim Carrey and Larry the Cable Guy, but Varney kept it clean. Though, Jim Varney is still my number 1. Of course, with any Ernest movie, it will receive the highest rating possible.

Ernest Goes to Camp (1987)

Heart Warming/Strong Moral Backbone

[10/10 · 25 March 2011]

I wonder if the reason some disliked this movie is because the people of today are so brainwashed and hard wired to think that all a movie is supposed to contain is nudity, meaningless sex, cursing and violence? Do you people think that's what makes a great movie? I grew up with Ernest(since his Sprite commercial) and have continued to watch him for over 25 years. I loved him then. I love him now. In fact, I appreciate Varney's brand of humor now more than ever. While most kids' shows today are aimed at playing down to a child's intelligence, making them feel as if they're on the bottom rung of things, the 'Ernest' movies never did that. (This movie was made in the 80's and I still think it's the smartest kids' movie out there.) Ernest never lectured a child, he never made them feel inferior. He made them feel like their opinions were just as important as his. He treated them as equals and children really gravitate toward that. I know I did. That 'children are meant to be seen and not heard' is a load of crap and it was quite obvious Ernest didn't believe in that saying. 'Ernest Goes to Camp' is just one of my favorites that I can't get enough of. Ernest is Kamp Kikakee's 'fix it' guy but dreams of becoming a Camp Councelor, but no one will give him a chance. That is until a group of Juvenile delinquents are selected to join Kamp Kikakee for the summer. Automatically, almost every counselor, especially Councelor Stennis, thinks the worst of them and treats them as such. You treat a kid like a misfit, they'll act like one. You treat a kid like they're worth something, they'll truly shine. Case in point, Stennis gets pushed into the water by the boys after he throws Moose into the lake, knowing he can't swim. No one wants to help the boys so they decide to 'dump' them onto Ernest by giving in to his wish of becoming a counselor. And that's only because they don't want to 'fool' with the boys themselves. At first, all of Ernest's attempts to get the boys interested in camping activities are met with practical jokes, stunts and a mockery of Ernest. But, being Ernest, he refuses to give up on the boys. Eventually, his perseverance pays off and the boys start believing in themselves and their abilities to do something positive with their lives. Sherman Krader of 'Krader Mining Company' wants the land(in the worst way) that Kamp Kikakee sits on to mine a fictitious mineral known as Petrocite and his greed makes him a very dishonest and hostile man. He eventually cons Ernest into talking the Chief into signing over the land, telling Ernest that it's a petition instead of a lease. Ernest and Nurse St. Cloud are the only ones that are able to communicate with the chief. After figuring out that he got taken, Ernest tries to fix it by confronting the foreman in charge of the activities of the mining company. It turns out that the foreman is a mammoth of a guy. Ernest still faces him in a fight even though he knows he won't win but feels he has to stand up for the camp and the boys. After getting beat up, all the boys, but Moose, turn on him once more. Ernest feels terrible and thinks he let down the entire camp. This is the part where Ernest sings 'Gee, I'm Glad It's Rainin''. This song is quintessential Ernest and could've been his theme song in every movie. "What they wanted was a hero. All I needed was a friend". He sings it so heartbreakingly beautiful and the pain is evident in his blue eyes. After Nurse St. Cloud scolds the boys, telling them how Ernest was the only one to stand by them, they band together and convince Ernest to help them stop Krader Mining Company. Together, with the uplifting song, 'Brave Hearts', they construct contraptions and a catapult loaded down with bombs, fire arrows and 'turtle paratroopers', they blow up the equipment that Krader Mining Company had on the premises. Ernest finally gets his chance to knock out the foreman when his dozer gets hit with the cart loaded with flammable material. Krader is fed up with being stopped, so taking his rifle, he intends to shoot Ernest. Going back to the opening of the movie, Nurse St. Cloud's narrates the story of the stone, blade and arrow. No matter how good Krader's aim is, he always misses Ernest. Finally, Krader points the rifle point blank in Ernest's face, but Ernest plugs up the rifle, saying, "Paper, rock, scissors", his version of the stone, blade and arrow. Krader knows he lost and makes a run for it. Krader's attorney admits that the chief was conned into signing the lease. The campers get Kamp Kikakee back and Ernest is now a year round counselor. The ending credits are great, with the song 'Brave Hearts' by Gary Chapman playing in its entirety. The words are wonderful and play into the theme of the entire movie. I recommend this movie highly if you're looking for good, honest, clean fun with a great moral message. Varney's talents are sorely missed.

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)

It had Jim Varney

[6/10 · 25 March 2011]

The only reason I bought this DVD is because I'm such a fan of Varney's. I wouldn't have known about this movie much less get it if he wasn't in it. While lots of people rag on Hulk Hogan, he wasn't the worst actor. By far, the most wooden performance goes to Loni Anderson. If this is a family oriented movie, why in the world did they have her dress in that skanky leather outfit that was far too short? Terrible casting as far as Loni goes. She was supposed to be the evil Medusa but I didn't buy it. She just didn't have the quality of pulling off the 'bad guy' type of role. She was much better on 'WKRP in Cinncinati'. I got a little tired of Tum Tum's 'Ay-yahs' after a while. They were too high pitched and over done. All 6 stars go to Jim Varney. I was actually rooting for Lothar to become successful in his mission for he was the only one of the bad guys with the brilliance to pull off the heist. He easily outshone all the stars, as usual. He always gives 100% to whatever role he played as you can see here. Jim and Victor were the two best actors in this movie. Maybe if Jim had cast and directed this, it would've been a bigger box office success. The man was a brilliant actor and a genius. If you're a fan of Varney's, then yes, get the movie just to watch him. Otherwise, don't bother.

Existo (1999)

want to see

[18 March 2011]

I have yet to see this film. But the mere fact that Varney is in it is reason enough for me to get this movie. I'm familiar with Existo from the "Hey, Vern! It's Ernest" series and also Jackie Welch and Gailard Sartain. Yes, I'm going to buy this film. Not only do I need to add it to my Jim Varney collection but I want to see what all the fuss is about. Yes, I have lollipop written all over my face when it comes to anything Varney.;) It seems this movie is political and talks of the government and its problems? But I'm curious to see this film and I will not let any reviews I have read here affect my opinions. Of course, since Varney is in it, I might tend to be a bit biased where he is concerned.

Your World as I See It (1994)

It's Jim Varney! What's not to love?

[10/10 · 18 March 2011]

Jim Varney plays a character I love to hate but still can't seem to stop watching: Astor Clement. Jim pulls off this hoity toity, snooty, know-it-all really well. Basically, Astor thinks he's smarter than everyone else on the planet. It's obvious with quotes like, "The shallow end of the gene pool, where you swim" or "Are you working class, a common person. I'm not." It's hard to believe that he is the same guy that is best known as Ernest P. Worrell, that lovable, clumsy, sweetheart of a guy that didn't have a pretentious bone in his body. There are some familiar gags in here and that's what makes it fun. Others actors doing the same gags in shows eventually become stale, but when watching an 'Ernest' film, I wait in anticipation to see when he will have the window slammed on his hands or if Vern pushes him from the ladder or when he gets electrocuted. Varney is comfortable and familiar, almost like Linus with his blue blanket. In 'Your World As I See It', Astor shows us what he thinks of our world as he sees it. Most of the time, it's to make fun of Ernest and his brain capacity which I do not like. For example: "If fish is brain food, then Ernest P. Worrell is using an unbaited hook." I still laughed but found myself talking to the t.v. telling Astor to stop messing with Ernest. Go figure. I know all these characters are Jim Varney but he plays them so distinctly, you tend to forget. So far, I've counted over 50 different characters and/or voices that Varney did for the 'Ernest genre'. I ask you this, can you find me an actor today that can do that? Can you find me an actor that can keep their lives together long enough to play even ONE character that well? Varney was a rare talent. He was truly gifted and had more skill in his one finger than most actors have in their entire body. Totally underrated and didn't get the credit he deserved. Though, true Ernest fans will still stick with his films forever.