actionpro Reviews

Rocky Horror 25: Anniversary Special (2000 TV Special)

Just about the stupidest thing ever aired on TV...

[1/10 · 15 August 2004]

Lame and embarrassing; those two words correctly sum up this anniversary special. It is hard to imagine how this "gala" was supposed to be some sort of tribute; it is, in fact, garbage. The fact that this project was given a "green light" shows us, once again, that VH1 will prostitute all that is known about quality programming for the sake of a few bucks.

Highlights include:

Minor celebrities making complete idiots of themselves.

Gratuitous shots of the crowd of teenage heathens who know little to nothing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The end credits (the best part of the show, no doubt).

Thankfully, this "show" quickly became victual for the Bad Television Programming gods and will more than likely never be seen again. Now, if the gods would just do something about Family Matters...

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

Well-Acted Cliched, Uninspired Film

[5/10 · 13 August 2003]

Finally, Natasha Lyonne proves that she can, in fact, act. I always knew that she had talent, and I was proved right. Too bad it was wasted on this terribly cliched film. I personally feel that homosexual individuals are more complex than how this movie portrays them, but that might just be me. The good news is that the characters are, for the most part, believable, and that the acting is above-average. The bad news is that the story uses cliches to pull itself along. The ending could also have used some more work. 5/10

Slums of Beverly Hills (1998)

Slums of Movietown

[2/10 · 13 August 2003]

'Slums of Beverly Hills' is a disappointing film starring the overrated indie veteran Natasha Lyonne. The film has a decent premise-coming of age within a dysfunctional family. However, it takes a sharp turn about 30 minutes in, and becomes the usual, lowest common denominator garbage. This is unfortunate, because I had high hopes for this film. Alan Arkin delivers a good performance, which happens to be the only upside to this piece. Marisa Tomei, who was outstanding in 'My Cousin Vinny,' just didn't seem to be the same caliber of actress she once was. 3/10.

Street Warriors (1977)

Interesting, Brutal Character Study

[3/10 · 13 August 2003]

Minor Spoilers! I rented this movie on a whim back in the late 80s. I kind of wish I had copied it, because I think I'd get more from it now, now that I've matured quite a bit. I was probably too immature to handle the scene where a character's privates are cut off. I also felt the violence was quite exploitative and existed for no particular reason. I still feel that way, but maybe since times have changed, it won't seem quite as bad. That said, it was indeed an interesting character study which showed that Spanish youths can be as brutal as Americans. 4/10

The Mechanic (1972)

Well-Executed, Well-Acted, Well-Filmed, Well-Written

[10/10 · 13 August 2003]

'The Mechanic' is easily Charles Bronson's best work, if not at least a tie with 'Mr. Majestyk' for said honor. Judging by most of his works, you'd think he was incapable of doing something that could be even remotely confused with acting. Not so! 'The Mechanic' is a well-written piece that never fails to entertain. A gripping plot, beautiful locations, a quick pace, and perfectly executed scenes of conflict make this movie the masterpiece that it is. Required viewing for fans of the genre! 9/10

Someone Behind the Door (1971)

Quite Interesting, but Slow

[8/10 · 13 August 2003]

Is it just me or did it seem like Charles Bronson was a serious, Academy Award-winning actor in this film? Maybe it is just me. But, most who've seen this flick will concede that it is a bit different from the usual Bronson fare, and that his acting was top-notch. The only thing hurting this movie is its slow pace and its somewhat convoluted plot. Other than that, it's a fairly decent movie. Appreciate the cinematography! 6/10

Alta tensione: L'uomo che non voleva morire (1993) Season 1, Episode 2

Couldn't Wait for This One to Die

[3/10 · 12 August 2003]

I saw this movie while I was on vacation in Quebec, perhaps around 1991. The only reason I remembered the name is because I felt exactly the way my summary indicates. It's boring and makes little sense. Perhaps this is because it was dubbed; I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. However, it moves at a snail's pace and the acting is god-awful. 3/10

Lost Highway (1997)

Waste of Time

[2/10 · 12 August 2003]

This movie is a complete waste of time. The only purpose of this movie is to allow people who think they are intelligent and on the fringe of society to ramble incessantly about some plot that does not actually exist. I always get locked up in a conversation about this movie with someone who feels that they are some type of rebel/non-conformist and that this movie is their anthem. The truth is, he/she doesn't know the first thing about a good movie. Fight Club was just as confusing. However, Fight Club is a much better movie with an awesome plot and great acting. Lost Highway is just garbage with one hell of a soundtrack.

Street Knight (1993)

For Fans of the Genre Only

[8/10 · 12 August 2003]

Street Knight is pure excitement. This is a film to be appreciated by only true fans of the genre-throwaway action movies. Lots of action characterizes this decent piece of film kicked out by Cannon. The fight scenes are well-choreographed and the ending is memorable. The acting isn't the best, but you can't have everything. Rent this and treat yourself to some top-notch violent entertainment. You won't be sorry. 6/10

The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991)

What a Great Movie!

[8/10 · 12 August 2003]

I had originally seen the preview for this movie within another nameless early 90s stinker, back in the day. I hadn't given this movie another thought until I was at a truck stop in Morrilton, Arkansas, and saw it sitting there, collecting dust next to a bunch of other stinkers (like Tremors 3). I immediately remembered the preview: a bunch of cars blowing up, lots of shooting, plenty of "tag lines;" you know, the usual action movie cliches. Realizing that I'd never see this movie again, I bought it. During the drive home, I kept building it up to my girlfriend as being the stupidest looking movie on earth, based on the preview that I had seen over a decade ago. Once we got home, we popped it in the VCR, prepared to laugh ourselves silly. Not so. It is one of the most underrated movies of all time. It is fantastic!!! Great (if not a little cheap looking) action sequences!! Great plot! Decent acting! Superb plot twists and turns! Unformulaic ending! I was quite surprised. I think the previews made it look far worse than it actually is. The scene where the hero is blowing stuff up to "Epic" by Faith No More almost causes goosebumps. The catch is: You MUST be a fan of the genre. If you are, this movie will NOT let you down. I promise! See it! It's available somewhere out there from MGM. 7/10

The Commish (1991–1996)

Great Underrated Show

[12 August 2003]

"The Commish" was one of the best shows in the early 90s. Michael Chiklis was wonderful and extremely believable in the title role. Also, the supporting cast was always very good. The writing was excellent in the beginning until perhaps the 3rd season. Then, it turned into the usual Cannell fare. Mr. Cannell always wrote/produced excellent shows in the beginning, but once he and his production company ran out of ideas, they looked to current events and/or clichés to pull them through. This is true of "The A-Team," "Hunter," "Night Rider," "Rockford Files," and, of course, the cliché-in-and-of-itself, "21 Jump Street." "The Commish" was flying high until each episode became a carbon-copy of the last one. Of course, that is the fate of many a TV show and is to be disregarded. All this aside, it was an excellent show that made Saturday nights enjoyable for a few years.

Platoon Leader (1988)

Fairly Entertaining Stuff

[5/10 · 12 August 2003]

This movie is underrated probably because of the prejudices held by critics against Michael Dudikoff. Though his acting is widely thought to be mediocre (it is), he shines in this movie. "Platoon Leader" is gripping fare and deserves more respect than it currently garners. It is not just another throwaway Vietnam movie. It is, in fact, entertaining and is required viewing for any fan of action movies. 5/10

Deadly Hero (1975)

Tantalizing Portrayal of a Man's Fall from Grace

[10/10 · 12 August 2003]

'Deadly Hero' is another hidden gem from the 70s that did not receive the buzz it deserved, and instead hides within the bowels of so-called rare video stores or 2nd-rate rental places. That is truly sad, as this movie has the following in its favor: it is extremely well-done, it showcases some awesome acting ability, it is mastered very well (doesn't even look 70s), it features James Earl Jones in a strange but almost brilliant performance, it proves that Don Murray deserved the Academy Award after all, it has a most interesting soundtrack, and is well-written by anyone's standards.

The movie is about a well-liked man's fall from grace after an unfortunate incident. It requires the viewer to either side with the hero or with the hero's critics. It is a very interesting character study that will leave the viewer quite satisfied. This is why I give it 10/10.

The President's Man: A Line in the Sand (2002 TV Movie)

Cheesy, Predictable, Loads of Fun

[8/10 · 11 August 2003]

This incredibly formulaic flick from the "Walker, Texas Ranger" squad contains some of the most unbelievable scenes ever witnessed within a TV movie. In addition, one can pretty much predict the outcome from the get-go. However, it's a fun little movie that gets the job done: it entertains. That's all it was meant to do and it does so. The stunts and explosions are fun and exciting and the plot isn't half bad. The acting is also decent, which isn't much of a surprise, because everyone knows that Chuck Norris is no Steven Seagal. If you're a fan of the genre (and of "Walker, Texas Ranger"), you will definitely love this. If not, then don't waste your time. 8/10

Rescue 911 (1989–1996)

Great Educational Show

[11 August 2003]

This show was what we in the industry term as Compelling TV. It was an addictive show that re-enacted all sorts of horrible and gruesome events that leaded up to an actual call to 911. The best part of the show was that it was broken up into segments that were, in effect, 15 minute scoldings for stupid behavior. For instance, a man mishandles a .357 magnum and shoots his friend through the back while they are out in the woods, away from all civilization (and hospitals). Or, 2 girls are playing in a drainage ditch (which is illegal and very dangerous) when it suddenly fills with water and they are swept away. How about the time that some youngsters decided to outrun a train and didn't quite make it. Who could forget the kid who stuck his tongue to the frozen peas. We learned that a cup of water would remedy that situation. (That kid denied the whole incident by saying he was licking his lips because he was so hungry and then his tongue got stuck. Yeah right! Just admit it-your predicament educated the entire country and the ensuing remedy was even referenced in Dumb and Dumber). Then there was the time that a man was cleaning his pool and hit the strainer against a power line, resulting in cardiac arrest. In effect, America learned that rules are made for a reason and that warning labels should always be read; if not, disastrous consequences might ensue. Also, America learned that if an accident did occur, brave men and women would drop everything and risk their lives to save you. It doesn't matter if you deserve it or if it is your fault-help is always on the way.

Good to Go (1986)

Slow Moving Stinker

[1/10 · 11 August 2003]

Good to Go (aka Short Fuse) is a snoozer. I rented it a few years ago because I was lured in by the cover art. The cover made it look like a decent action flick-cops, guns, helicopters, etc.. However, it moves at a snail's pace and had no intelligible plot whatsoever. I feel it was a showcase for the "go-go" music contained within and nothing else. Don't get suckered in; ignore this movie.

Jasper, Texas (2003 TV Movie)

Horrible Incident, Decent Movie

[7 August 2003]

What a horrible incident! I don't agree with my state's (over)use of the death penalty, but somehow, I'm just fine with the fact that the perpetrators of this crime are going to get the death juice in a few years. The movie portrayal of the incident is sensitive and well-done. Louis Gossett, Jr. is awesome in this movie, which is an added bonus. I had an opportunity to be in the same room as R.C. Horn (long story), and he's almost a dead-ringer for Louis Gossett, Jr. Anyway, a great movie about a horrible incident.

American History X (1998)

Powerful, Awesome Movie

[10/10 · 7 August 2003]

This is one of the best movies ever made. It is so powerful and haunts you years after you see it. It's hard to stop thinking about this brutal, violent, sad movie, even 5 years after seeing it. Here is a basic synopsis: A young, intelligent man learns the error of his ways.

But how he learns it is what makes the film what it is. The ending is spectacular and provokes even more thought. This should be required viewing for all Americans-shown at an early age, completely uncut, in order to beat its awesome message into all of our ignorant, developing heads.

Groundhog Day (1993)

Something for Everyone

[10/10 · 7 August 2003]

This is probably one of the best romantic comedies ever made. Bill Murray shows that he is actually capable of something thoughtful and delivers the performance of a career. Andie MacDowell doesn't even seem to be acting; her performance is so natural. Groundhog Day has a deep, thought-provoking plot, combined with a couple of good action sequences, a few disturbing scenes, and an excellent finale. This makes for one of the best films of the 90s, pure and simple.

Falling Down (1993)

Exploitative 90s Trash

[5/10 · 7 August 2003]

The only thing saving this movie was Robert Duvall's honest portrayal of a man who had his life invested in his work. Michael Douglas's acting was excellent, as it normally is, but his character was hard to sympathize with. He felt he was some sort of patron saint of the common, hard-working person, but it seems like he was just trying to make their lives much harder. Hard-working construction workers? Blow them up. Hard-working country club care-takers? Scare the hell out of them. Fast-food slaves? Make them wet their pants. Ex-wife and child? Ruin the day for them. Immigrant entrepreneur? Take him out of business. And why did the 'homeless' guy want to know what was in his briefcase? What was his obsession? All I have in my briefcase is a couple of pens, a pencil or two, a legal pad, a calculator, and maybe some files from work. Nothing really valuable. I feel that was a stupid scene and perhaps should have ended up stuck to the bottom of the editor's shoe. All of the things described above were in the original trailers for this film, and they basically describe the spirit of the movie. The ending is particularly stupid as well. 5/10

Badge 373 (1973)

Superb Duvall Vehicle

[9/10 · 7 August 2003]

Badge 373 is an excellent movie that features Duvall at his best. He's better in this outing than he was in Let's Get Harry and Falling Down, which were also, arguably, some of Duvall's best works (that some could say were ruined by bad direction and a bad supporting cast). Not this time, though! The writing and direction are brilliant. The pace is a little bit too slow for an early 70s "cop" flick, but it's still above-average and a good find. Check it out and be amazed.

It's Pat: The Movie (1994)

Unmemorable Garbage

[1/10 · 6 August 2003]

I saw this movie when it came out, at the age of 15. I went to the $1 cinema to see Schindler's List with my parents and noticed that It's Pat, which was new, was also playing there. The next day, I went to see it. I was completely sober and I remember nothing from it. Not one joke, not one scene. I remember many things, and I remember every movie I've ever seen, but I don't remember a thing from this movie. In fact, I didn't remember that I had seen it until I came across it on cable awhile ago. I can see why It's Pat was at the $1 cinema 2 weeks after its release. Big waste of time. The SNL skit really wasn't that funny, either.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Sucks

[1/10 · 5 August 2003]

The movie definitely sucks. The acting is predictably terrible and the plot is just a rehash. What were you expecting? At least Jensen Daggett is extremely hot. She's so hot in this movie, as she definitely was as Tim Taylor's sister-in-law on Home Improvement. Some funny death scenes; not nearly as good as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, which I feel this flick was trying to rip off at times.

Confessions of a Police Captain (1971)

This is how to make a movie

[8/10 · 5 August 2003]

Boom! Awesome, flawless movie. Doesn't get much better than this movie. Balsam's performance is so divine that it gives me goosebumps to this date. Highly recommended if you can find it. The pace is perfect...not too slow, not too fast. It unfolds wonderfully.

Inhibitions (1976)

Strange, Interesting Movie

[7/10 · 10 July 2003]

This movie is strange, but interesting. The love scenes are well-done, the filming locations are strikingly beautiful, and the music is well-suited for this type of movie. The beautiful use of color complements fairly decent acting (better acting than what is demonstrated in the Emmanuelle movies in their native languages) in what is a pretty good flick, if you can find it.