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Makoo (2021)
Where are the sharks?
A word of caution if you choose to watch this movie, prepare to be bored for about 44 minutes ... and then confused for the remainder of the experience. For a movie called Mako, I would guestimate that sharks have less than 3 minutes of total screen time. The plot also becomes increasingly difficult to follow once the film crew goes underwater: first, the characters are nearly unidentifiable with their scuba gears, and second, actual events are interspersed with scenes that represent hallucinations induced by depth narcosis. On the plus side though, the underwater cinematography is fairly impressive, all things considered.
Stuck (2007)
About a series of unfortunate events
Five minutes into this movie, you might expect the main protagonist to be this kind-hearted nurse that selflessly assists an elderly patient after he soiled his sheets. However, be prepared for that plotline to make a pretty sharp turn! This is actually about the crescendo of unfortunate events that plague the existence of a middle-aged man doing little more than trying to earn a living. Within less than 24 hours, our true protagonist is evicted from his apartment, kicked out from his local employment office, and ultimately ends up being run over by whom other than our diligent nurse, leaving him stuck halfway through her windshield bleeding out. And hereon begins the downwards spire where our nurse quickly moves from considering an anonymous drop off of her victim to a nearby hospital, to driving back home and leaving him to die in her garage while she goes to work, and ultimately asking her cheating, drug-dealing boyfriend to "dispose of the evidence." Despite that this is not a great movie, it is nonetheless entertaining and there are several plot twists that will keep you watching. You will want to see this movie through to its conclusion and find out if our tragic hero manages to survive the ordeal, and more importantly if that horrible nurse gets the punishment she deserves.
Spiders (2000)
Sure, just keep your expectations low
Can you combine aliens, spiders and investigative journalism in a coherent framework to shoot a successful B-movie? This flick attempts to answer this question and the answer is ... probably not. It's not so bad that you definitely won't want to finish it. But it does require some serious leaps of faith. For instance the viewer must accept that a college newspaper reporter's experience should include fighting and disarming trained military officials, and more surprisingly firing a rocket launcher with perfect accuracy in an arguably large spider's mouth parts while hanging several meters below an airborne helicopter. I believe the intent may have been to create a strong Ellen Ripley-type character, complete with the white tank-top. However, while Ripley does all she can to protect her shipmates, this career-driven female lead accumulates bad decisions and quickly manages to decimate her entire crew. If you are adamant on watching a movie about alien arachnids, I would strongly suggest shifting your attention to something like Starship Troopers.
I paladini - Storia d'armi e d'amori (1983)
Romeos and Juliets in armour
This is like a medieval Romeo and Juliet, but with two pairs of star-crossed lovers and the Montagues and Capulets are instead the Christians and the Moors. Sounds like a great setup doesn't it? Unfortunately, as opposed to Shakespeare's classic tale, this movie lacks a story line and any kind of character development. Despite that there are several wonderfully filmed duels between knights with brilliantly designed costumes, in the end you just don't care which of them survive.
ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009)
People are seriously comparing this to Shaun of the dead ?
I have a hard time understanding how people can see this movie as anything more than mildly entertaining. I decided to watch it with high hopes as I am a big fan of the zombie genre and some reviewers compared it to Shaun of the dead and Zombieland. In my opinion however, there is no comparison, even when taking into consideration the far lower production costs of ZMD. There is no depth to any of the characters and I don't see how the acting can be viewed as anything more than up to par. The humour and satirical elements consist of easy one-liners which failed to even make me grin. I mean, come on : "Don't shoot, I'm gay". Is that even a joke ? If I was to compare this movie to anything I've seen, I might consider Zombie strippers. However, Zombie strippers, at the very least, added a new original take to the genre and there was some much appreciated subtlety to the humour in the script. Furthermore, I've seen Zombie strippers twice whereas I would never consider sitting through ZMD a second time. In all honesty, I feel generous in rating this movie with a 3/10.