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Knight_Shade
Reviews
Sparkhouse (2002)
Sweet...
OK, I'm sick to death of people whining, and saying "Oh, it's so PREDICTABLE, oh it's so MELODRAMATIC, oh it's so UNORIGINAL". Guess what kids - EVERY THEME HAS BEEN DONE. It's no longer a question of fresh, new concepts or ideas, the art is in the FORM. The show had wonderful performances, it was well put-together, and I enjoyed it. Yes, the plot twists have all been done before, the story has been done before (not surprising, since it's a lovely modern retelling of Wuthering Heights), but so what? Just about every flick I see is predictable and hackneyed from a plot perspective, but the WAY the film plays out is what draws my attention.
Watch it, it's another example of a production that would never fly in the US because it's much too basic. Personally, I think Sarah Smart is lovely and very talented, but in the States, they would have selected someone with a following, someone ridiculous like Sara Michelle WhatsHerName and completely ruined it. Not to mention the big budget sets, the cheesy one-liners, and the farm-girls that look like they all stepped out of the Elizabeth Arden spa.
City of Angels (1998)
BLINK, NICK! BLINK!
Yet another American flick made because a great foreign film didn't get proper distribution. "Wings of Desire", a lovely film, serves as the template for this bad attempt at a stylish, big budget remake. There's no reason to see "City of Angels", unless you enjoy watching foreign flicks then renting the American analogue to see how badly they messed it up, like "Abre Los Ojos" versus "Vanilla Sky" (shudder).
A lot of folks seem to enjoy Nicholas Cage, and truth to tell, I've never thought much of him. He has his moments, but in general, I find his performances contrived and lacking in genuine intensity, though he DOES try very, very hard to LOOK hardcore. For example, in an interview after "City of Angels" was released, he said that his approach to the character in the film was very simple - as an ethereal, metaphysical creature, he figured the best way to show that sort of other-worldly gravity would be not to blink during filming. Way to go, Nick. You just blew away ALL of your dwindling credibility. Go back to making timewasters like "The Rock".
And poor Meg Ryan. Forever trapped as the Doris Day of the new millennium, except for her brief stint as a badgirl in "The Doors" or as an action star in "Courage Under Fire", which I like to call "GI Jane Lite". She really needs to make something a bit more substantial, I'm getting tired of her sweet, squinty smile.
Titanic (1997)
You mean it sinks?!?
When I was in university, I remember seeing "Jurassic Park", and discussing it with a friend. I commented on the loose plot, the silly dialogue, and the fact that it was a poor adaptation of a fairly entertaining novel. My friend's comment was, "Yeah, but DUDE, you got to watch DINOSAURS!" True enough, and for that, the film was well worth the cash.
"Titanic" is much the same. The plot is the same old stuff you've seen before - poor boy meets rich girl promised to rich boy, rich girl falls for poor boy, rich boy tries to get rid of both. Think "Caddyshack" on a boat. The acting is OK, given the silly dialogue and relentless attempts at tugging your heartstrings. Here's the kicker: you get to see the ship go down. In the comfort of your stadium seat or in your own home, you get to see what looks like the actual sinking of an ocean liner. People screaming, tonnes of water everywhere, the best and worst of mankind in a tidy package for your viewing pleasure. It's FRICKIN' COOL, is what it is. It's some of the best eye-candy ever seen on film, and that's saying a lot.
Remember DiCaprio's wonderful performances in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" or "The Basketball Diaries"? Yeah, you won't see any of that in "Titanic".
"Titanic" is less a movie than it is a rollercoaster. I liken it to "Pearl Harbor" or "Debbie Does Dallas", where you get to see some mind-blowing action sequences, and the rest of the film is useless. Rent the DVD so you can use chapter-select to replay the good stuff over and over.
Now, you might be thinking I'm a mindless action freak, but nothing is further from the truth. For those of you that heard "Titanic" is a wonderful and romantic flick, I recommend watching it, then renting "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" or "The English Patient". Both these films have better dialogue, better acting, and are MUCH more romantic than "Titanic" can ever be.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot: two good reasons to watch "Titanic": Kate Winslet gets topless.
Crying Freeman (1995)
Flesh from Ink
There was very little need to make this film. It is a live action version of the first Crying Freeman anime film, from way back in '88, which was in turn a rendition of the Japanese manga. As a film, it is one step up from Xena: Warrior Princess - very low budget, very bland, and extremely boring. All of the stylish elements of the anime are gone, as are the impossible fight scenes and the subtle emotional shifts only possible in a Japanese film.
Seriously, pass this by unless you're a fan of the anime features and want a good laugh. If you've never seen the anime films, rent them. They're a bit dated, but better than a lot of the usual "big guns/big boobs" anime flicks made between then and now.