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Reviews
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
Don't waste your time!!!
This has got to be the worst movie I have seen in the last 10 years. Worthless garbage that doesn't do the original Dukes of Hazzard 1/billionth bit of justice. I knew this movie was going to be a waste of time but I also feel bad having wasted the electrons used to power on my TV while watching this bomb. You are better off cleaning your room instead of sitting throu this pile of dung. Cooters character was creepy (asking if he could be set up with Daisy after fixing the General Lee). Bo Duke behaved, not like a good old-boy, but more like a fool. Luke Duke's character was descent if anything. Rosco was not the foolish, lovable Rosco we all grew up but some kind of goon that didn't make it in the Italian Mafia. Jessica Simpson, all she does is look good in short but her acting is non-existing. The original cast of DOH must have cringed when they saw their old characters butchered worse than boss Hogg butchers a rack of lamb!!
The Car (1977)
Low budget but a good movie
I saw the car in the early 80's and I enjoyed it. Now, in my early 30's, I saw the car and I must admin....I still enjoyed it.
The plot can only be so deep: A black sedan, comes out of the desert (ala clint esstwood's character, the man with no name). but the car does not do good. He is here to do harm!
Through out the movie you are given the impression that there must be something evil...there is no driver, the car exploded (while crushing two police cruisers) and it can actually jump at will!
The acting is pretty descent...the only corny thing I found was when all the bandmembers were mocking the Car, as the Car had them cornered in the cementary, which seemed to be the only place the Car could not enter.
It was interesting to see Ronnie cox, playing Luke, the cop who had fallen of the bandwagon. Ronnie Cox would later play the CEO of the evil corporation OCP from the Robocop Series and the President of Mars, in Total Recall.
Anyway, watch the car and enjoy for what it is...you won't be disappointed...
Monsters (1988)
funny, silly, even dumb but always entertaining
I loved Monsters! Everyone in my family thought I was weird. I know they thought it but they wouldn't say it. Monsters was just a great low-budget, third-rate show but it never let me down. The plots were very silly at times. For example, I remember one about a human-eating bed!!! What were these writers thinking?? Now and then I check out the sci-fi channel to see if they could re-start showing the re-runs but unfortunately no such luck. Someone email me if they know what channels are running re-runs please...
Tales from the Darkside (1983)
great series..worth watching at least once a week!
Although I was in my early teens when I watched tales from the darkside, if left an impression on me. As a matter of fact, I still remember the first TFDS episode. The Halloween episode in which a rich old, whom everone in the town owns money to, has fun with his debtor's children by making them search for the outstanding notes in his creepy mansion. If a child found the outstanding-notes, that families debts would be wiped off. Of course, none of the children every found them...running out of the house scared out of their minds....until a real witch shows up! Needless to say, the old miser is paid a visit by the devil himself! I still rmemeber it to this day. Anyway, TFDS has dozens of episodes with eerie endings. If you like the late 80's tv series MONSTERS, you would also enjoy "tales from the darkside". It is just too bad that they don't show it any more....
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Hilarious and stupid at the same time!!!!
If you love insane British humor...the sophisticated Three Stooges humor..than you have to watch this! The movie has a simple plot: Gordie is trying to make a name of himself in the cartoon world but his parents think he should get a normal job. that is it. The main character, Gordie is just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID that you can't help but laugh!!! There were times when I was laughing for two or three minutes straight. I mean, why in the world would anyone in their right mind..stop suddenly, get out of the car, jump over fence and masturbate a horse???? Why would anyone get into the carcass of roadkill to see how animals think??? Why would anyone put on a suit backwards, talk to himself in a mirror and pretend he is going somewhere caring a suitcase??? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!!!! But Gordie does!!! That is what makes this movie so funny....don't watch it if you want to have a positive, culturing experience. Watch it because you want a good laugh and that is exactly what Green accomplishes.....
Yin ji (1982)
a total waste of time
Back in 1986, I saw Kung Fu Zombie, which is my opinion one of the best kung fu movies of all times....billy chong's character of Pang Fung was funny, witty, and, above all, excellent in his fighting techniques.
It was also in 1986 when I saw the trailers to Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave (also starring billy chong). Just having seen Kung Fu Zombie, I thought it would be just as good. Zombies and billy chong...what a great combination.
I didn't find Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave until 2003. This was the biggest disappointment of my life. I had to order it from England. This movie was totally a waste of time. I don't blame the characters...I blame the director. There was nothing special about the fight scenes. The "zombies" were just plain stupid. I was actually embarrassed watching it with my brother, after hyping it up so much all these years! One semi-funny scene was when the wizard calls Dracula to save him. Aside from that, the movie fell flat on its face!!
Maybe I shouldn't be to harsh to Kung Fu From beyond the Grave. I was expecting it to live up to the cleverness and wittiness of Kung Fu Zombie, which is clearly didn't. This movie was a run-of-the-mill kung fu movie. When it was finished, I literally threw the tape in the trash. It was just that awful...
Cross of Iron (1977)
One of the best war movies ever!
Cross of Iron is not like your typical WW2, where German soldiers are portrayed as robots, or clones with no personalities or thoughts.
Sam Peckinpah does a great job in letting the viewer see how these German soldiers thought. How they worried about their buddies, how they disliked they superior officers, how, they fought for their comrades, as opposed to fighting for Hitler, as historians would have you believe.
Stg. Steiner, played by the late James Coburn, is a very disillusioned German soldier, who doesn't care about moving in the ranks. He is concerned with the safety of his platoon. When Captain Stransky, played by Maximillian Schell, takes over as their commanding officer, Steiner is quick to dislike him. Stransky is seen by Steiner as an iron-cross-seeking jackal, who cares only about obtain said medal, even if it cost the lives of the men.
The war scenes are awesome...chaotic ...just like real war. Both sides take casualties equally. The book, by Willi Heinrich, who he himself fought in the Eastern Front, is well written and I highly recommended it to any one who likes movies of this material.