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Reviews
Creep (2014)
This movie sucks.
Don't watch it.
It's disguised as a "found footage" movie. It's badly acted. Poorly paced. Terrible all around.
Do not waste your time.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
Fear And Loathing Dr. Gonzo
The last time I saw this film was in the theaters when it was first released. Now this film has became a cult classic because of its drugged out nature, stylistic picture, and good acting, especially on Johnny Depp's part. But other than that this film has almost no story. It is basically about a drugged out weekend in Las Vegas. Roule Duke (aka Hunter S. Thompson) and his attorney, Dr. Gonzo, are in Vegas to cover some sort of off road race. But the real objective is to get messed up on any sort of drug as possible.
Dr. Gonzo played by a heavily overweight Benitio Del Toro, who is annoying and sadistic. And while Duke is the "sane" one of the two, they seem to completely trash two hotel rooms. Del Toro really put a damper on this movie. His character was very annoying with him always flashing his gun or knife around and getting mad for no reason. But when he is "sane", Duke is messed up on either ether, LSD, or artificial adrenaline.
Finally, after this mess of a movie, we finally get to the end. Apparently after "overdosing" on some sort of experimental drug. Duke wakes up to find himself with a tape recorder duct taped to his chest and is wearing a huge vinyl lizard tale. The hotel room is trashed, and he starts to listen to the tape and pick out moments of the events that happened over the last few days when he was pretty much blacked out. We see some more of Dr. Gonzo being crazy with a knife to some waitress, and then Thompson getting Gonzo to the airport on time. Then the movie ends with the strange ramblings of Duke ala Jerry Springer's "Final Thoughts."
This film is directed by Terry Gilliam (Monty Python, 12 Monkeys, Brazil, The Brothers Grimm, etc.) and has a large amount of cameos: Cameron Diaz, Christina Ricci, Toby Maguire, Gary Busey, Flea, Verne "Mini Me" Troyer and even the great Hunter S.
This film could have been so much more but is still a good, not great, achievement in film as an art. Just Average for a film.
7/10
Clerks II (2006)
Clerks II is an instant classic
It is everything you love about Smith's films, it has drama, romance, tons of laughs and sick jokes.
This film is the only true sequel to any of Smith's movies and stars the two dudes from the first Clerks. Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson, and also Jason Mewes (of course) and the beautiful Rosario Dawson (who is so cute in this film). This film also has cameos from guys from other Smith films like Ben Affleck, Scott Moiser (whom is also the producer), Wanda Sikes, Ethan Stuplee and Jason Lee (Lee also looks like he just walked off the set of My Name Is Earl).
The story is basic, the "clerks" from the Quick Stop convenience store are out of a job because the place burns down. So they go to work at a fictional fast food joint called Mooby's, which is basically a trashy McDonald's. This film takes place in the course of a day where the main clerk, Dante Hicks has to choose from an easy life with his bitch fiancé, or a working life with his down-to-earth boss, who also happens to be pregnant with his love child.
Okay, with that aside. Jay and Silent Bob are better than ever, Randal is the ultimate loser jerk-off and the new character Eilas, is a Christian Lord of the Rings fan that is a great addition to the cast.
This movie was so good that I want there to be a third. But even if their wasn't, this is a good and true end to the View Askew universe Kevin Smith has created.
This is Kevin Smith's best movie.
Lords of Dogtown (2005)
Lords of Dogpoop
Okay, I rented this movie the other day in high hopes of seeing a good true story on the lives of the skateboard legends from Venice but I was wrong, very wrong. We will do this Sergio Leone style: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
-----The Good------
-The cinematography is the best part about this film. This film has a documentary look and a very high contrast color tone. The camera is shaky and realistic looking. It makes this film seem more like a true story than the acting does.
-The skate boarding in this film was mostly done by the actual actors. It was fast and true to the 70s era of extreme skating.
-Heath Ledger. Undougtingly the best actor in this film. But he really reminded me of Jim Morrison more than anything else. Oh yeah, he was pretty much drunk the entire film.
------The Bad------
-The Story. It seemed like this story of the Z-Boys really needed more dialog. Most of the film is them skateboarding, then pissing someone off, breaking car windows and then running off. This film did delve into their careers as professional skateboarders but did it in a lagging 107 minute running time, when this story could have been told in 80.
-The Acting. If you had seen director Catherine Hardwicke's last film "Thirteen" you would think that she knows how to push actors to their breaking point, but this film really lacks emotion and effort. The acting is as childish as watching a school play. I guess that the actors were cast for their skateboarding skills rather than their acting.
------The Ugly------
-Rebecca De Mornay. *shutters*. What happened to that hot girl from "Risky Business"? Maybe she got old. Or its the fact that she was suppose to be a crack head in this film, or it is because nobody cared.
-John Robinson. Playing Stacy Peralta looks like he needs some sort of toner on his cheeks. The whole way through the movie I was thinking, "who smacked him in the face?".
So there it is, my analysis on "Lords of Dogtown". If you want to see the true story of the Z-Boys, watch "Dogtown and the Z-boys". This movie was a shot and miss on all fronts.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Matrix Refunded, The (2003)
Many of you have seen The Matrix Reloaded and have deemed it the best science-fiction action movie of all time, and I disagree greatly.
Some say the first one is better, some of you like Reloaded more, but my opinion sways for the original. The Matrix had originality, mystery, intense-never-before-seen action sequences and a better musical score. The Wachowski Brothers made a movie that broke boundaries, and that was The Matrix.
Four years later The Wachowski Bros follow their action sci-fi masterpiece with one of the cheesiest sequels ever made: The Matrix Reloaded. Aside from the breathtaking stunts, unbelievable kung-fu fights and the intriguing yet horrifying story, this film screams for an exit.
*S P O I L E R S A H E A D* First off, the acting sucks, straight up. Agent Smith is the best actor in this film. Reeves, Fishburne, and Moss act like if they were in a high school play. Fishburne's Morpheus tries to hard to act cool than being real. It seems like Morpheus keeps a Dictionary around just to look up some cool words and use them when he is talking to a group. `Silence, HEAR ME!' How about `SHUT THE F_CK UP!!!' Reeves reprises every role he has ever played, enough said. And as for the plain-faced white girl named Carrie-Anne Moss.WHO?! You know, that white b_tch from the first Matrix movie and Memento. OH. It's funny: Moss, Matrix, Memento; how about this one, Makeover. Carrie-Anne isn't right for the part of Trinity, I know it is a little late for that comment but it had to be said. What were the Wachowski Brothers thinking? And all the other actors in the movie are all over acting; this includes Pickett-Smith, who didn't have enough scenes in the film and had to make up for it with the video game, which is also bad. Sorry Atari. Even the beautiful Monica decided to through her acting skills out the window with this picture. "I want you to kiss me like you would kiss her." I have something you could kiss.
The editing technique was going smoothly until the train wreck of scenes when 'The Key Maker' is explaining how to `reach the source.' It seems like they couldn't figure out how to use all of the footage and said `What the hell, just fit it all in there, I don't care how, just do it!'
And as for the film score. (this is what bothered me the most) Every effing time some one flew in the air the French horns and Trombones start going "WHA-wha-WHA-wha." Listen to the music next time you see it and you'll notice it. The acting mixed with the music along with that jumbled last 20 minutes dropped this film from an 8 star movie to a 2 star waste of time. Hopefully the third one won't suck as much as this one but it probably will considering that they were both made at the same time. Shame on the Wachowski bros, they have elevated themselves to the level of George Lucas, good special effects making up for bad directing.
American Me (1992)
Brutal, that's just about it.
The shock value of this film is great. Good stabbing scenes. But this film lacked somethings that every good film has, talent. From the acting to the editing and to the diologue, this film had the feeling of poor quality. The way the characters talked with some wierd form of broken english/spanish with the "odale" insert with every single emotional scene had the stench of cheese all over it. The written on-screen quotes that this film begins and ends with are cheesy. And the huge banner 'Directed by EDWARD JAMES OLMOS' at the end made me want to laugh. This film is very poorly directed. Maybe he shouldn't have directed it himself, but I guess his ego got in the way.
I was tricked into watching this movie by the box quote "...American Me is an explosive and unforgettable epic."
Is American Me explosive? Some say yes.
Is American Me unforgettable? To me it is. I will never forget Edward's violent death scene.
Is American Me an epic? Not even close.
I give this film ONE out of FOUR stars.
Moonlight Mile (2002)
how could anyone like this movie?
I rented this movie clueless of the plot and all I saw was an "In the Bedroom" clone with less heart and more boredom.
Every character in this film drew my attention with their "good/average" performances. Jake and Susan were fabulous and Hoffman tried, but failed. Hunter's short cameo is too short to comment on, and as for that other girl (i forget the name), she was okay.
Jake's character was too quiet and I kept wanting him to say something or do anything but I just ended up yelling at the screen. Susan was always complaining and because of her bickering I some how connected with her feelings, she hates people and she was my favorite character because of it.
I have nothing to comment on Hoffman's pitiful performance.
SPOILER
Also, a scene of what happened in the dinner the night of Diane's murder would have been helpful, but the story starts the day of her funeral. The murder scene would have added some shock value and would have taken up a little of time in this two hour bore. But this film isn't about a murder, it is about a troubled young man with a terrible secret.
END SPOILER
And as for the ending, I was standing up next to the DVD player waiting for the credits and as soon as they appeared, I took the disk out. I didn't even bother with the Special Features, it didn't deserve it.
I give this movie zero stars.