Sarkax Reviews

Howling: New Moon Rising (1995 Video)

Lost for words

[1/10 · 24 April 2006]

Well, many people say to movies that "It's the worst they ever seen" but believe you me when I say that this is really the worst movie I've ever seen. It's not even funny bad, just plain awful.

Plot? - I don't really know, is there? Werewolfs? - One in the last 20 seconds of the movie.

Blood n Gore? - Naah,nothing good. Nothing at all in fact.

Chills? - Yeah, realizing it's a real film and not just a joke.

Dancing Hillbillies? - Yes, for about 90 minutes of the movie.

This is so bad that it makes me cry out for justice. Never again should we have to watch a godforsaken awful movie like this. No further comments

Frostbitten (2006)

To bad it turned out to be bad

[5/10 · 5 March 2006]

When it's finally time for a Swedish horror whit a real budget it turns out to be, well not so good. Its a shame really cause this movie has been under production for many years so one had hoped they would give us , if not great, at least a good film. No luck there.

I have no idea what the director was thinking when he watched the final cut. The whole climax of the movie is horrible edited. We go from one scene to another and after a while you have lost track of what is happening, and you really don't care either. The acting is at times lousy, the one who gets away is Jonas Karlstöm who plays Sebastian. He makes the movie worth seeing.

The effects of the movie are great, nothing to complain about there. What bothers me the most is if this was the last Chance for Swedish horror.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Incredible movie!

[9/10 · 3 September 2004]

I will say whats need to be said. Many horror fans will argue whit me on this one, but don't lie too yourself. This one is better than the original. This movie balances all the elements of a great movie perfect. Horror, yeah you get scared. Drama, yeah you do feel for these people and you do feel that this is happening. Comedy, yeah you do laugh here and there during the movie. Action, ooh you so bad want to shoot zombies after this one. The music score is perfect, and the zombies really look good, not just green paint in the face. By no mean is the first Dawn of the dead movie bad, it's just that this is better in every aspect. The one thing that might be better whit the original is the characters and how they develop. All in all this is a 10 out of 10. Thank you universal for being brave enough to go trough whit this project!!

Van Helsing (2004)

Stick a pole through this one!!

[2/10 · 22 June 2004]

A movie whit Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, Werewolfs and Van Helsing should be a pretty cool flick on the paper. Director Stephen Sommer did make the average "The Mummy" and the not so good sequel. But this time he decided to put all the old universal monster in one movie. The result? Total garbage, no one whit the least taste for movies can give this one a good review. This suck on so many levels and the monster of Frankenstein is maybe the worst one ever to be put on screen. A monster movie should rely on the atmosphere and the gothik feeling but this one is molested whit sh***y computer FX and why does half the movie take place among ropes that the cast is flying back and forward in all the time? Shame on you Mr.Sommers, shame on you. Give us the real monsters back!!!

The Mutilator (1984)

By Axe by chainsaw bye bye

[7/10 · 24 September 2003]

Not only does this movie include the best tagline ever..atleast i can think of..but it is also a nice little horrorflick. The Film starts out whit a kid shooting his mother into pieces and his father for some reason gets very upset by this little mishap. Years later the boy, now a teen, along whit some friends travels to an Island were the will stay for some days watching the house for his father. But the father has not left the house, he has other plans, plans to kill his son along whit friends for what the son did to his wife. Disturbing story indeed. But I like this movie!

Plot-Ok, a little sick. Gore-Violent murders and well done. Gorehounds will be satisfied. Acting-Sorry, no Oscar this time.

Horror fans will be pleased but if you are looking for something romantic, look somewhere else.

6/10

After Death (1989)

Who wrote this piece of ****

[10 September 2003]

This is just bad. Ok, zombie movies doesn´t need a superb script to be entertaining but this is so dull. The premiss is a group travels to an remote island that is abandon and before you know it there is a bunch of "ninjazombies" comming right at em! Sounds good to you,no, i thought so. There is not much gore just blood comming out of peoples mouths. The zombies looks pathetic. And the acting is terrible. However it is kind of cool to put a gay actor in a movie like this, even if he suck...hehe suck, you get it. Not much going for this movie at all. The final scene is the only good thing in this movie. 3/10