soupster1 Reviews

Blackbird (II) (2022)

Embarrassing

[1/10 · 2 September 2022]

I watched this film on line a few days ago and really struggled to watch it all the way through, though I did spend some of the time playing a card game on my phone.

It is essentially a series of poorly executed cliches more stolen than 'based upon' old movies. The acting ranges from disinterested to awful and the experience left me surprised that I couldn't even laugh at it. Just bad.

I note that 5 reviews award it 10/10. Mmmm. I quite liked the Austin Powers movies, but I hadn't realised they were masterpieces until I half-watched this.

I hadn't realised until afterwards that Mr Flatley had produced this as a sort of 'vanity project', but that does go some way to explaining the inexplicable heroism and misogynism on display here.

Saint Frances (2019)

Weirdly meaningless

[3/10 · 28 July 2020]

I was looking forward to this. It was recommended by a critic I respect, it had that 'indie' look that satisfies my discovery gene... and I especially like films that combine comedy and drama.

Kelley O'Sullivan, Chalvin Alvarez and Ramona Edith Williams all play their parts well, and indeed the film is generally well made... it is the writing that let's it down. Kelley O'Sullivan (the writer) was clearly trying to create a film that addressed the difficult, challenges the elephant in the room and generates giggles at the same time, all of which proved to be too much for it.

Menstruation can be funny, uproarious even. (Try the first ten minutes of the stage version of Phoebe Waller-Bridge' Fleabag), but that was character driven, menstruation as slapstick just doesn't work. Padding the scene out in hopes of making it funny doesn't work either. Ramona Edith Williams comic timing was the only thing that did work in the entire film.

It must be difficult to write characters and dialogue for a different gender, but that's no excuse for not bothering to try. It would have been a much better film if it had nothing other than female characters. Or... is 'better' the right word...? Less irksome anyway.

The guitar teacher was entirely forgettable, as was his playing which somehow induced a look of awe on the face of Bridget. Jace (the boyfriend) was portrayed as being nice and sensitive, but was entirely stripped of these attributes because of his inability to 'feel' Bridgets' abortion and ensuing bleeding. Whatever that means.

All the male characters are deliberately made peripheral, even a good old fashioned hero who dives in a lake and saves a child from drowning... just wanders off out of shot while Bridget has a good old fashioned yell at the child.

Then we get to understand that Lesbians in a relationship behave surprisingly like like other women in relationships. The portrayal of postpartum depression was well enough portrayed, but the six year old appeared to diagnose it long before any of the adults.

Then we are lead to believe that lesbians are able to resolve issues in a relationship almost instantly by have a good old fashioned cry, and that their hetero friend can put the icing on the cake by doing sleepovers ala Michael Jackson and electing forget all about her ticking clock.

As I say... weirdly meaningless.

Misty Button (2019)

Do Americans really buy into this...?

[1/10 · 26 May 2020]

I only watched this film because I was curious about the reviews it had got on IMDB. Nearly everybody seemed to think that this was as good a film as it was possible to be. Better than The Godfather, Citizen Kane,... you do the rest.

I was right to have my doubts. As an Irishman, I am sick to death of our people being constantly portrayed as drunks and criminals on the grounds that we all know how charming alcoholism and criminality are when accompanied by awful 'diddley' music .

This is obviously an amateur production, which shouldn't be a problem, and the film ought to be given a fair chance, but... the wildly wide of the mark reviews turn it into a scam no more imaginative than the storyline.

I found it embarrassingly written and acted, but even then I'd still have given it 2 stars if not for the fake reviews. My review does not contain spoilers because I cannot imagine how this film could be spoiled anymore than it already is.

Darkest Hour (2017)

Embarrassing

[5/10 · 22 May 2020]

It should embarrass the academy that films can so easily follow a formula to get one of their little statues. This is not a bad film, it is merely not that good. The character of Churchill is always going to attract a bravura performance, and like many of his predecessors... Gary Oldman is more than up to the task. This however does not make it a 10/10 film.

Considering that 10/10 has to represent a mark indicating that no better film has ever been made. It must be so excellent, that it towers above all other cinematic achievements other than comparable woks of genius.

Historically. this is about as accurate as Spartacus, or Jason and the Argonauts. As a reading of the titular character... it offers nothing new at all. In fact... it is a series of not very well constructed cliches. This doesn't mean that Gary Oldman didn't deserve his little statue, it merely means that the standard for such an award... is lower than it should be. Let's face it... W.C.Fields might have been a nominee had he been around to audition.

I might have managed a 6/10 but for the dreadful 'underground' scene. The 'chirpy' British, salt of the earth Londoners were a dreadful hodge-podge of extras that didn't make the final cut of Mary Poppins. Trying to make the truth fit a fiction only ever achieves irritating and patronising falsehood. Surely Hollywood can do better than this?

Good Ol' Freda (2013)

A True Story

[10/10 · 24 November 2019]

No guess work, no fabrications or exaggerations, no smutty gossip, no favouritism... and no juvenile 'wot oi fink' criticism of the music. 'Good Ol' Freda is the plain unvarnished truth about Freda Kelly's time as head of The Beatles official UK fan club. Freda is that rarity in the mass of Beatle media produced in the last 50 odd years... the real thing.

She is also honest and honourable about her work in both NEMS and Apple. Her shyness about being forced by Paul McCartney to move up to the front of the coach in Magical Mystery Tour, is typical of Freda. She doesn't shy from the fact that she was first and foremost (no pun intended) a fan having the time of her life... and if you have even the vaguest interest in the band and the time they were active... then this account is one of the most accurate and endearing you will ever find.

I have had the misfortune to have read mountains of utter garbage written about The Beatles from the 1960's to the present day., This film is a breath of fresh air compared to the lies,half truths and regurgitated theories and rumours that have flooded this market for decades.

Good Ol' Freda, like the lady herself... is an absolute treat.

Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015)

A truly pleasing film...

[8/10 · 5 May 2016]

I want to write a fair, balanced, impartial and pertinent review of this film... but it's difficult.

The problem is... it's near perfect. It is clever and inventive in it's conception, beautifully constructed and crafted in it's form, musically enchanting... and importantly... not infested with formulaic Hollywood nonsense.

The actors do everything that is expected of them, (and more in the cases of Sally Field and Tyne Daily), there is zero CGI... and the swearing is limited (and confined) to the sort of swearing real people engage in. Healthy, gutsy, robust 'effing' and blinding. Also... no swords, elves, planets or vampires intrude on the fun.

We all have our own preferences when it comes to entertainment I like my music intricate and embracing, I like my novels to be difficult to define... and I like my films to be addictive... (at least for the duration of the film). I like to know I will definitely watch it again...and that I will laugh and care the same way I did the first time around.

A truly pleasing film. I'm in my sixties too... Sally Field is 'effing' gorgeous.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015–2019)

Ally McBeal is back... and better than ever.

[8/10 · 25 April 2016]

A young female lawyer, with a passion for an old flame, moves her home and career to be near him. Her story is interspersed with amusing characters and a quality musical soundtrack. Sound familiar...?

I am half way through the first episode of this incarnation of 'Ally'... and I love it already. It's got 'quality' written all over it. I am sure I will stop expecting 'fishisms' before long, because the writing already looks sharp and inventive enough to stand on it's own.

I am a happy bunny. I know I have a show I am really going to like... and it lays ahead of me... a delightful binge of great telly watching.

Yum.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

The most over-hyped movie of all time...

[5/10 · 23 April 2016]

... Has arrived. Fuelled by a hate campaign against it's original creator, an outpouring of irrational love for it's original release (by a squadron of people not yet born)... and enriched by the childhood memories of people whose 'childhood' was nowhere near as important as they think it was. Star Wars is back... and it's like it never went away.

Perhaps because it didn't...? Robin Hood and Maid Marion somehow survived the intervening years, and the Sheriff of Nottingham left his foul stench all over the piece. Ironically making a pong all over Christmas.

For all their faults... the 'prequels' were at least serious attempts to add to the story. Episode 7 is a retelling... that is both clumsy and obvious. If the 'fanboys' are happy with this... then the 'fanboys' have had way too much attention given to them.

I saw the original release in 1977. It was good... but it didn't change my life. It was, after all... just a movie. The new version is like watching a remake. One with little to enhance the original.

George Lucas brought us a film that was different... Disney has brought us a film that is almost exactly the same. So why the fuss...???

The Hateful Eight (2015)

Finally, I'm decided about Tarantino

[9/10 · 2 January 2016]

I've seen all of Quentin Tarantino's films, but have never been entirely convinced about his popularity among film goers. I've never disliked any of his films, but equally... I've never found any of them completely satisfying. Until now.

I don't need to flex my 'amateur critic' muscles for this one. Quite simply... I enjoyed every moment of The Hateful Eight. It's been a while since I sat and watched a film, and forgot about everything but the screen.

Basically, the acting keeps you entranced, until the story hooks you in. Then you sit back, and enjoy the ride. The actors give every sign of enjoying themselves immensely, and I spent a lot of time laughing, recoiling, wondering and gawping.

I apologise Mr Tarantino, It took me a while... but you are indeed a fine film maker.

The Salvation (2014)

Oh dear...

[5/10 · 22 May 2015]

I like a good revenge story, I also enjoy an atmospheric tale about the wild west. What I don't like is being conned by pretentious cinematography and overly 'earnest' acting.

This film has all the ingredients required for the makers to congratulate themselves around the table at a dinner party... but has gaping holes through which the audience find little hope of finding entertainment.

'Revenge' stories are difficult to set up. The trick being to make the 'baddies' rotten, but believable. The 'baddies' in this set up, are cliché ridden, and the 'goodie' is skillful, clever and grossly incompetent all at the same time. In short... the set up is irritatingly implausible.

Good actors then engage in a roundabout of 'serious' stereotypical mugging. and the 'ending' of the film becomes obvious in the first 20 minutes.

It's not that it's a bad film... it's that it is a 'project'. The sort of film that we can say we've seen... but only in hope that someone will think we are film buffs, as a result.

The set up is preposterous. The manipulated sense of evil is absurd.

Quite what Eric Cantona is doing in it is beyond me. I like him... but he has made better adverts than this.

John Wick (2014)

Hilarious

[1/10 · 20 February 2015]

Keanu Reeves has had problems being believable in most of the roles he has had throughout his career. I don't think he is a bad actor, but his acting coach must surely have been the most incompetent in Hollywood history. He plays exactly the same character in a tender love story, as he plays in an 'action' thriller.

Now he does this. An 'action' thriller designed purely for 14 year old boys with pictures of cars on their bedroom walls. It plays out with the stock grunty voices (because tough men have no tonsils)... and the villains are Russian... with Russian accents only found in Los Angeles.

Then they kill the cute puppy. Keanu gets so miffed that he opens up his secret basement full of big guns and even bigger bullets. At this point... I gave up. I don't mind mindless fun, but I do object if I have to be the mindless participant.

Keanu... do The Lake House Part 2... That was a half decent film. This... is juvenile garbage that juveniles don't deserve.

Staggeringly formulaic, dismally predictable... and hilariously bad.

Magic in the Moonlight (2014)

It's like the movies...

[8/10 · 28 January 2015]

Woody Allen comes into fashion, and goes out of fashion on a fairly regular basis. So much so, that when France became his most successful 'market' a few years ago, he suggested that perhaps he should get the French subtitle writers to write his scripts!

Magic In the Moonlight is delightful. A proper 'movie'. The story is intriguing, the script is witty... and the cast do their jobs admirably. The setting is accurately observed, in the sense that Noel Coward could have been involved.

I have no idea about the 'pacing', editing or 'character development'... I was too busy watching and enjoying it. I found no 'plot holes', I didn't mind that Disney/Marvel/Dreamworks weren't involved... and the total absence of violence, jingoistic propaganda and giant spiders in the third act... somehow passed me by.

After the film was over, I realised that one day... I will have to accept that there will be no more Woody Allen films. Just as there are no more John Lennon songs. Their work is similar in some ways, in that their genius isn't ever present in their work... but it is always irreplaceable. No one else can 'do it' quite like they can.

We all like what we like. I like Woody Allen films. I would humbly suggest that this is one of his best. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. It's a lot of fun.

The Boxtrolls (2014)

Funny, smart... and entertaining.

[8/10 · 26 January 2015]

My Grandkids loved it. I loved it. Ghoulish, horrible and witty.

The voice acting was top class, the script was sharp... and the animation was superb. My fellow viewers were the children of the same kids I took to see Toy Story years ago. It was different to that... but no less imaginative, and just as funny.

My only complaint, is that it was only about 10 times better a film... than most of the 'Oscar' hopefuls this year... yet because it is an 'animation'... it gets disregarded.

I would rather watch three seconds of this, than 'Birdman' or 'Boyhood' in their entirety.

Interstellar (2014)

I Had To Stop Watching...

[1/10 · 21 January 2015]

It starts off with a farmer (Independence Day style), and then we are quickly transported into a world where the planet is doomed because... well... we're not really sure why, but it involves a lot of wind.

Then NASA gets involved and our heroes get sent into a kind of 'space' that comes complete with bad paintings of old 'hubble' pictures, lots of 'space' type language... and gravity. The gravity is ever present.

Nothing ever floats about, and they get 'skipped' off the orbit around Mars before whizzing past Saturn (it has rings) and arriving at a black hole. They get through the black hole (like that's possible), by looking slightly concerned and talking like cowboys.

The robots look and act like corn flake boxes, the humans (mostly well known), look bemused... and at that point... I had to stop watching. I was hoping it was all going to turn out to be a joke... but it wasn't.

I don't like ranting, so I won't. Suffice to say that if the Earth has to end... at least let it explode before Hollywood can make another 'turkey' like this.

Embarrassingly bad.

Boyhood (I) (2014)

Astoundingly average

[2/10 · 17 January 2015]

Having believed that this must be a 'special' film, I watched it. Having seen it... I am confused. I cannot identify anything 'special' about the film at all.

The acting is average, the story is mundane... and it is so 'middle class' American, that it is almost entirely pointless to the rest of the world.

Presumably, childhood only happens in America... and it is entirely made up of 'brooding', 'seething'... and being generally morose. All interspersed with alcoholic lunatics who have no 'back stories' of their own?

Even if there was something to be learnt from a youth spent in the US... 'Wreck It Ralph' taught me far more than this pretentious piece of self indulgent nonsense ever could. The characterizations are clichéd, the 'kids' are tedious... and the events are interesting in the same way as going to a supermarket is. As in... not very.

I give it 2 because of the possibility that I might have missed something even mildly engaging about this festival of American teen angst... but I am being generous.

I don't like being the one to say so... but this is American self indulgence at it's very worst. An 'Oscar' nominee? Really...?

'Cake' is 100 times the work of art this bore is.

A Most Violent Year (2014)

The Godfather To

[7/10 · 16 January 2015]

Lots of cleverer reviewers than me have already written about this, so I will simply say why I liked it.

Earlier today, I watched 'Two Faces Of January', and kept thinking all the way through how much Oscar Isaac reminded me of a young Al Pacino. Lo and behold, a few hours later I watched this... and he was Al Pacino!

But this is no cheap imitation though. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, the acting, the pacing and the tension generated by the constant threat of a mafia style shoot-out. No CGI, no stylised thrills/action, and best of all... surprisingly few clichés.

What we got instead, was an accurate portrayal of 1981 NYC. Complete with political realities, historical change... and ordinary characters being ordinarily horrible.

Films are just entertainment. I was entertained. And it was good to see 'Al' back! Much more enjoyable than many of the pretentious 'oscar seekers' currently on offer.

Cake (II) (2014)

Why the 'Oscars' are irrelevant...

[9/10 · 14 January 2015]

So... a pretty, funny, former sitcom actress... gives us a few signs that she might be capable of playing roles outside of the 'amusing chick' rom-com regular.

She does parts that secure her reputation of being a talented American 'cutie', she plays 'off-beat' characters with ease... and only occasionally lets the 'pay-day' Hollywood 'starlet' see the light of day.

Then she does this. A film that explores suicide, mental illness, self-loathing and the morality of friendship.

At the age of 60, I have gotten used to the annual round of 'Oscar Worthy' films being shoved down our throats... but this is different. Fine writing, authentic story telling... and unnecessarily great acting.

Any 'Oscar' hungry actor could have made a decent job of this... but Ms Aniston makes a brilliant job of it. She is no 'pretty-girl' actor here... she displays vulnerability, courageous wit... and does it all with aplomb.

If she doesn't get 'Best Actress'... the 'Oscars' are irrelevant.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

Philosophy made slapstick

[8/10 · 4 January 2015]

This is a 'Marmite' film. You will either love it, or hate it. I loved it. It has historical and philosophical depth, while blatantly and unashamedly... making you laugh at it's many examples of parody, pastiche and clowning.

I don't know how much of it was 'CGI', but the Set Designers and Dressers must all be in some sort of 'rest home' by now. Sumptuous, bleak and evocative all seem to describe what we see.

No source of humour is left unplumbed. Wit, shameless mugging and hapless slapstick, are all employed... and with a lot more 'hits' than 'misses'. The 'stellar' cast actually produce a 'stellar' film... for once.

I recommend this film, the trouble is... I'm not entirely sure who I am recommending it to. Try this... if you like your entertainment to be clever, charming... and untrustworthy at the same time... you will like this. It might also help if you prefer Monty Python to 'Everyone Loves Raymond'. Even if you enjoyed both.

Dumb and Dumber To (2014)

Made I Larf

[7/10 · 2 January 2015]

This was always going to be compared to the original (which was funny, smart, physical and prophetic)... given that George W had yet to fix that wonky grin of his.

Unusually, it stands up well to it's predecessor, in terms of making I larf. I didn't expect it too... but it did. Of course the two leads are too old to be doing this stuff now... but Seth is too up himself to do 'goofy', and Charlie Chaplin is dead. So... the boys are back!

Jim Carrey has been making people laugh for so long that he hardly has to bother anymore. If you ever found him funny... you will always find him funny. Jeff Daniels is practically the perfect 'straight man'. He times everything with ease... while never dropping his sheer likability. Their act remains fresh, despite the 20 year gap.

A good comedy has 25 minutes of chuckles and an hour spinning out the thin story... this has evenly spread chuckles, a few guffaws... and enough fun for you to forget about the story. The 'bad beer' scam was worth the money alone.

See it. This is what The Interview would have been like if it had been funny.

A Walk Among the Tombstones (2014)

150 clichés do not a story make.

[3/10 · 2 January 2015]

I like a good story. I like Liam Neeson. I enjoy the notions of justice and retribution... but I can very easily get tired of 'gritty', 'grunty' heroes with a drink/drug/trauma back story.

This film has all the requisite ingredients. And I mean... ALL of them. Pretty victims, grizzly relatives, a hero that makes Blade Runners Deckard look positively cheerful... and a young sidekick who gets lectured about all of life's ills. On a regular basis. He is of course young, black, ill and speaks in a patois that the white hero doesn't approve of. Cue 2 seconds of humour.

I only watched this because another review compared it favourably to Denzel Washington's 'The Equalizer'... which I had just finished mourning over. This seemed better for the first ten minutes... but then went the same, sad and sorry way.

I don't like moaning about films, I think they exist primarily to be enjoyed... but this was essentially, a long drawn out series of clichés that ended up confusing the simplest story ever told. Bad gets increasingly badder, good fights inner badness... and the emergent inner goodness... finally overcomes unforgivable badness.

And that's how I like it... until writer gives up, Director tries to remake The Godfather... and all the actors appear to be improvising their way through the last ten minutes of Back To The Future 2.

By the time the editing had successfully lost me... I no longer cared anyway. Just when Uncle Buck should have hit the guy with the golf ball... everyone got shot. Except I could no longer tell who was getting shot... or why.

Phantom Menace, Love Actually... all was forgiven Liam... until this. You're testing my patience now....

The Interview (II) (2014)

So... What was good about it...?

[4/10 · 31 December 2014]

Well... James Franco made a decent job of playing an amusing idiot. Seth Rogan did quite well in the role of 'straight man'. Randall Park stole the show by playing the villain, (and employing something called 'acting')... and Diana Bang delivered subtle humour, while everyone else shamelessly 'mugged' their way through the whole fiasco.

I did laugh out loud (once), and I did smile a few times. It isn't worth the fuss, but then... neither was my virginity. Diana Bang, on the other hand, saved the whole movie for me. She is a Canadian/Korean comedian/actress/writer who in her few scenes, was able to make the thing interesting.

I give it 4/10 for the few laughs... and out of respect for my virginity.

The Equalizer (2014)

What was Denzel thinking...|?

[2/10 · 31 December 2014]

I don't mind rubbish, if it's entertaining rubbish. I don't even mind lazy film making, if it's at least on a par with other cheap entertainments... but this is garbage.

I'm especially disappointed that Denzel Washington was in this. Indeed, I feel sorry for all the other actors (jobbing or otherwise) who clearly did their best... with this cheap imitation of a film.

My general 'rule of thumb' for a bad movie, is that I could have written it. In this case... I could have written this when I was 7 years old.

'Formulaic'. 'Robotic'. 'Unimaginative'. As exciting as unwrapping a new toilet roll.

All I wanted was a half decent movie that delighted me with feelings of revenge, justice and juvenile type pleasing violence. Instead... I got pretentious posing, a ludicrous 'set up'... and enough clichés to last me a lifetime.

Denzel Washington is far better than this turkey.

The Butler (I) (2013)

Disappointed

[4/10 · 21 December 2013]

The joint potentials of the story, the cast, the 'Oscar' season release and promotion of this film... made me expect something special. Instead I was treated to a cliché ridden series of loosely connected scenarios, all of which were predictably mawkish, and looked like an expensively shot advert for an apartheid based soap opera.

The three points above minimum are given solely for the presence of Forest Whitaker. He doesn't extend himself particularly in this outing... but he does give the film it's sole example of gravitas.

Sold to us as some sort of time line through the American civil rights campaigns of the first half of the 20th century, the film leads us to suppose the garden got all 'rosy' in 2008. It also seeks to persuade us that forced servitude was in fact a noble (if quiet) form of resistance. This is of course... all nonsense.

I didn't expect a documentary... but neither am I entertained by such a weak, fatuous and disingenuous attempt at film making. Truly, maddeningly and deeply disappointing.

Dads (I) (2013–2014)

A promising idea... but that's all.

[25 September 2013]

Speaking as a Brit, I like American TV, and I particularly like American sitcoms. I'm not just talking 'The Big Bang Theory' here... I'm talking 'Bilko', 'M*A*S*H, 'Frasier'. Many years, many hours of fun.

This is dreadful. I am bemused that a show like 'Better Off Ted' gets cancelled, and a show like this even gets 1 episode broadcast. Presumably, the networks believe there is an audience for mean-spirited and juvenile 'humour', which has just enough characterization to satisfy a committee of 'executives' who think cynicism is funny.

The Middle is old fashioned and predictable. It is also authentic, well made, beautifully acted... and funny. All of which qualities are not only absent from this show... but are even absent from the idea of this show.

I have only one good thing to say about it... All of a sudden, I have acquired the belief that I could write for television. Thank you to the people responsible for this rubbish, for thinking I can do better than people who get good money for writing poor television.

Smashed (2012)

Seriously relevant.

[8/10 · 8 March 2013]

Writing as an alcoholic... I have 2 things to say about this film. The first is that the learnt ability to 'deal' with life through alcohol abuse, was entirely authentic... and the second is that the loss of important relationships was inevitable with the life changes that salvation demands.

Writing as a film critic... that this taught me something about my own alcoholism... makes it an impressive film from my point of view. The inter-dependent relationship at the centre of this story is entirely real, as is it's eventual de-construction. Only a non-addict would see the interventions contained within the story as being sanctimonious or having some political agenda. This is not an argument... alcohol destroys lives.

The acting from the two 'leads' was excellent. The bigotry towards alcoholism was treated in a perfunctory way... but was still relevant to the story. Most of all... this film portrays the isolation felt by those who escape their entrapments. We all have to take giant steps in our lives... those steps rarely coincide with anyone else's. This film demonstrates that very well.

This was never going to be a film that excites the majority movie-goers...but for those that like films that can tell you something you didn't already know... it is well worth watching.