shantbe Reviews

Up Here (2023)

Not at all realistic!

[2/10 · 17 January 2024]

First of all, the I am a Mae Whitman fan but I just don't her in this. First of all, everything happens so fast. She never has to struggle for anything. They just gloss over it so fast. She breaks up with her boyfriend, announces she's going be a writer out nowhere, moves to New York, gets an apartment, a job, a writing class, and a new boyfriend in the blink of an eye. What can't the show take its time and show up the process? And her character is super annoying and whiny. I do like Miguel's character, but the actor is miscast. I just don't believe that he would struggle to get dates, or that Lindsay is the best that he could do. She's frumpy and entitled. I could ignore the frumpiness if she had a better personality. Also, at no time did I believe that it was 1999! 2 stars for Miguel's songs alone.

Sister, Sister (1994–1999)

I stopped watching after they straightened their hair

[11 October 2011]

Well, not exactly.I hung in there for one more season.I bailed out when they decided to give Tia an ex-con boyfriend, let the twins sing the theme song, and have Tamera(the dumb twin) somehow get into the same university as Tia.Sure the show was fluff when it started, but that was part of its charm.Every sitcom doesn't have to be a nighttime soap. Sometimes you want to sit back,laugh and forget about the world problems for just a half an hour.I liked the kooky, funny, non-talented twins who scorned popularity,wore god-awful Blossom-like outfits and fended off Roger amorous advances.OK, I know the twins had to grow up sometime, but there was so much more that could have been explored.They could have made Lisa more independent.I would have loved for her to have owned her shop and have been on equal footing with Ray from the start.I hate how they made her low-income and dependent on Ray's benevolence so that she and Tia would have a place to stay.Also they touched on twins' desire to find their parents,Lisa's fear of competing with the birth mom,Tia's need for a father figure, and twins' fear of being separated again.However, no mention was ever made of Ray's wife, who was Tamera's adoptive mother.Did she remember her? Why weren't there any pictures of her? Why were the home movies only of Ray and Tamera? That should have been the focus, not singing groups,cheerleading,modeling,drugs,ghetto boyfriends, and that stupid Roger/Batman look-alike episode. Oh and why didn't Lisa marry that Food-Boy guy? So much wasted potential.

5 stars--in remembrance of the frizzy-haired years.

The Werewolf Versus the Vampire Woman (1971)

well, the scenery was nice

[10 October 2011]

What I could see of it anyways. Seriously though, this has got to be the worst piece of **** movie I have ever seen. Worse the Blackenstein, Catman, and Robocop vs the vampire put together. Nothing good really happens until the last four minutes, and even then I couldn't see **** because it was so dark. The two leads have no chemistry and the dialogue is stupid and cheesy. Add that to fact that they figure out what's happening without any clues or provocation. Oh yeah and female lead decides to leave town in the middle of the night with no way to fight off the vampires.

2 stars because the vampire ladies were genuinely scary during their five minutes of screen time.

Death at a Funeral (2010)

Zoe Saldana at a funeral

[1/10 · 30 April 2010]

Horrible film. I voted 1 because the scale didn't have a -10. The movie focused more on washed-out, skeletal, looking Zoe Saldana and her idiot, hallucinating boyfriend than the actual funeral. It was totally false advertising. I saw more of her than the people who were supposed to be starring. Poor Danny Glover. How did he go from lethal weapon and the color purple to this?Poor Martin Lawrence. He used to have one of the funniest shows on t.v.(except for that last season.)Where did it all go wrong? How could he and Chris Rock do a movie that even Eddie Murphy and Will Ferrell wouldn't touch? Such a shame. Awful, crude, disgusting movie. Although I accept most of the blame because I knew the movie wouldn't be funny from the previews. It's my own fault that I was boring and watched it anyway.

Gang of Roses (2003)

there were black cowboys!!!!!!!

[28 October 2009]

first of all three out five cowboys in the old west were black, Mexican or native-American. Read a book. Preferably one on Bill Pickett, Mary Fields, or Clara Brown. Read up on influx of Chinese labor after the Civil War. This movie wasn't bad because there weren't any minorities in the Old West. it was bad because it wasn't focused. There was no plot and the characters weren't authentic. Neither were their outfits. If you took out the horses and the dusty western town, it would be just like any those other ghetto films where rappers get top billing just because they contribute to a soundtrack. Bobby Brown was the best actor in this whole,horrid mess. And that's really saying something.

Get Christie Love! (1974 TV Movie)

spunky cop with attitude out to catch some bad guy.

[2/10 · 18 July 2009]

this movie sucked monkey butt. I could barely keep my eyes open watching. Teresa Graves was a horrible actress and I found the title character and her boss to be a couple of douche bags. I actually felt sorry for the woman that they were tailing. The way they harassed and extorted that poor woman was deplorable. If they put half as much effort into investigating the guy that they were actually after then maybe all their witnesses wouldn't have gotten killed. I don't even know why they were after the guy's ledgers in the first place. I understand the historical significance of the movie but it doesn't make it a good film even for TV. Nothing even happens until the last fifteen minutes of the movie and even then it's not particularly exciting. And like I said the title character is rude, obnoxious, annoying, and kind of stupid. And I know Teresa Graves was last minute substitution for Cicely Tyson, who had gotten injured, but come on! they couldn't find anyone better?

2 out of 10 stars and that's being very generous