Blockmary Reviews

The Order (2003)

I should have heeded the wise minds of the IMDB message board

[2/10 · 5 September 2003]

Prior to going to the movie, I read IMDB users comments stating how stupid the movie was. I am a big fan of the religious/mystery genre, and chose to ignore the comments. The result was an enormous disappointment. Of the hundreds of movies I have been to, this was the first where I actually considered walking out. I wish I would have.

This is one of the few movies I have seen where I had no feelings towards any of the characters. The whole premise of the movie is pointless. I kept wondering when the movie was going to get interesting. Well, unfortunately it never does. The movie IS NOT SCARY!! Not only is it not scary, it is not mysterious or suspenseful either. The only thing it is is garbage. Many of the scenes and characters in the movie seem unnecessary, and are actually unintentionally laughable. Characters try to be funny at times, which was painful to watch. The statement by Thomas "Women, can't live with them, can't live with them." How original! I never heard a single laugh from the audience, and for good reason. I do not demand good special effects with movies, but the effects in this movie were mediocre at best. I will say one word: Octopus. The movie is without suspense. I would say the movie is predictable, but there really is nothing to predict.

I gave the movie a 2, simply because I refuse to give 1s. I recommend you avoid the movie at all costs. This was truly a waste of Helgeland's talent.

Four Dogs Playing Poker (2000)

Good premise, poorly done

[5/10 · 15 June 2003]

**SPIOLERS WITHIN**

Four Dogs Playing Poker had a very good premise. Unfortunately, the plot gaps kill the movie. The following are issues I had with the movie:

1. In a game of life or death, they let one person go into the bank to place the life insurance policies in the safe deposit boxes. Ultimately, this leads to the demise of the other characters. Are you kidding me?? Gee, you think she might cheat the other people and save her own life?? Surely not. Lets trust her to go in alone.

2. There is no way they could have collected on life insurance policies that quickly, especially in a situation as suspicious as it would have been.

3. Incriminating messages are left on various answering machines. These people are apparently not too bright.

I will stop at this point, although I could go on forever. The acting was mediocre AT BEST. A couple of scenes were really corny, including the leaping between buildings and the woman falling off the ladder. If you are looking for a movie that is realistic, this is absolutely not it.

5 out of 10.

The Last Castle (2001)

Who is the bad guy??

[5/10 · 29 March 2003]

***SPOILER ALERT***

I will keep my comment short because the movie already wasted two hours of my time. Who is the bad guy in the film, Redford or the warden?? The warden is criticized for killing inmates, yet Redford's antics lead to several people dying, including innocent guards!! The viewer is unable to get emotionally involved. As if the conflict is not enough to make the movie bad, the fact that it is completely unrealistic makes it even worse. I will spare the details, but the last 15-20 minutes of the film are absolutely ridiculous. Redford, what were you thinking?? You're better than this. This film was more deserving of Segal or Van Damme.

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Wouldn't watch it again.

[3/10 · 12 February 2003]

Moulin Rouge is visually stunning. The use of colors and lighting is unlike any other movie I've seen. Pop rock over the past two decades has been revamped, and is well suited to the scenes in which it is played. This is where my infatuation with the film ends.

I watched Chicago last weekend, and was unable to peel my eyes from the screen. Moulin Rouge was a different story. The movie dragged heavily. I feel that all focus was placed on making the movie an audio/visual masterpiece, sacrificing a quality storyline. Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor give good performances, but the plot failed to interest me the slightest bit. In my opinion, this a film that brings a unique concept to the table that critics immediately hail. I found it to be stimulating, but a waste of two hours at the same time.

I gave the movie a 4/10 simply for the unique set, use of color, and the ingenuity in use of refurbished pop songs in an early 1900s Paris setting. As I stated in my summary line, I would not watch the movie again.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

A mind bending masterpiece by Lynch

[10/10 · 8 February 2003]

Lynch has outdone himself with Muhlholland Drive. I was concerned that the movie was going to be another Lost Highway, but it is most certainly not. The movie excels in areas that Lost Highway lacked. The storyline and direction in this movie are so well done that this makes my top three movies of all time.

As is typical of Lynch, the movie begins with confusion. I find this to be a key element in film, as you are instantly gripped to the storyline. Confusion continues, and even intensifies throughout the movie. Many of the scenes in the movie are eerie, and only add to the enjoyment. I don't want to get into specifics, because I believe this is a movie that you should watch with no pre-conceived notions. It only makes it that much better.

Naomi Watts and Justin Theroux, who was the star of American Psycho in my mind, both give outstanding performances. This is one of those movies that you will talk about for the rest of your life. I only wish that I could see this movie again for the first time. Brilliant!