Reviews
Shank (2010)
No Moral! Simply crap!
I began this film with high expectations, thinking it would send out a moral message about drugs, crime and gang culture. But somehow this film ,even though it is supposed to send this message, fails and actually makes gang life look great.
The filming is awful every scene starts with some ridiculous 'where the hell and what the hell is going on' filming and terrible music. I didn't pay £7.50 to see the camera shaken this much.
Normally I don't mind swearing, but this film is actually worse than This Is England or 28 Days later. Every sentence is met with a 'F**k. I wouldn't care if the film was any good! The plot is just appalling, the most blatant plot and blatant ending, this film is trying to be groundbreaking, but unfortunately it's groundbreaking rubbish.
There are so many pointless scenes of people smashing each others heads in and pointless sex scenes. The acting is terrible! One of the big cheeses actually sounds unbelievably fake I laughed.
This film is laughable and just rubbish, the only good thing is the picture quality. Thats it though!!!
Blacksite: Area 51 (2007)
Blacksite Area 51: Old School FPS
I'm going to be brutally honest with you, most reviews written by large or fairly well known game reviewers usually base their score on the popularity of game as well as the tech and specs. I am reviewing this game souly on the tech and spec.
Presentation: This game has a reasonable story line which isn't complicated or too simple. The graphics aren't bad but neither are they fantastic, basically if you can live with a few rough edges you can get through this game, there are a few issues with frame rates though, for instance in areas with loads of action the game can lag a little, but this only happens a few times depending on which console you play it on: Ps3 lag = moderate, PS2 lag = rare and xbox lag = low to moderate, but don't let this bother you it DOESN"T really effect game play a lot. The other problem is disappearing team mates, yes sometime your team mates can disappear but they reappear when you 1. shoot your gun or 2. walk into a building or new area this again is very rare. The game has a pretty cool strategic system where you can order your squad to move or attack, as well as having to look out for your morale level. Overall the pros and cons just level out the score
6/10
Gameplay: The game play is good, sometimes a little repetitive but once you get past the first level you wont see this again, destructive scenery is a nice touch when blasting a hole in a wall to get through. Controls are simple and easy to get a hold of. In fact the game play looks as if it had influenced some pretty big games like Resistance FOM and Killzone 2, the two games looking to of borrowed of of Blacksite. The AI is good as long as you play on 'HARD' and Not 'EASY', and the enemy variation is really done well. Sometimes there are a couple of annoying long walks to get to the next bit of action and it does make you lose your rush. Overall though the gamplay excels the presentation and probably the best factor of the game.
7.5/10
Sound and Script: The script is again a little bog standard but there are a couple of pretty intelligent comments made by you squadrons but apart from that the script is just like any FPS. There are glitchy sounds throughout the game which for any really serious gamer who gets annoyed by anything will damage their like for the game. The music is good and builds the suspense well.
6.5/10
Apeal: This game should appeal to anyone who has a love for horror games, old school FPS's and possibly even Modern Warfare 1 (just a hint though). This game looks like a PS2 game but handles like a PS3 game, for those who enjoyed Half Life 2 will probably like this as well simply because it feels slightly like Half Life just not as Big or Good. If you like games with more than a cheap thrill you may want to rent or even buy this game. More than reasonable game and underrated.
OVerall 6.8/10
The House of the Devil (2009)
A good film?
OK as this film is set in the earlier eighties it would be fair to say if it was released in the eighties maybe it would make an impact, but in all fairness when I saw the DVD cover and the comments from the media I become incredibly annoyed that it wasn't what they said. "The scariest film this year" if you mean "scariest film this hour and thirty five minutes. "Jawbusting" err, did they watch the same film? The beginning of the film seems hopeful and reminded me of the typical old fashioned horror films, but this is where it went down hill. When she gets the babysitter job a goof can be seen from the scene which the old man and her are in the kitchen, he says he cant afford to pay both of the girls but then splashes out on $400! Hmmm yes definitely weird.
Having to watch somebody dance, eat disgusting pizza, turn a TV on and off, hmmmm really frightening. Then comes the climax ooh! ahhh! It a bloke in a mask and when she runs away she sees pictures of him, which again make this film look like homemade by some eight year olds, of course I wish not to offend eight year olds.
If your looking for a very quick climax. I think it was about 10 minutes then definitely buy this but if you like horror films that contain at least 20% horror don't whatever you do buy this.
This film is shocking (in a bad way
A Serious Man (2009)
Shockingly awful
this is the worst Cohen brothers film made, plus it just isn't funny. A wasted 2 hours of my life, don't bother watching
if you like boring films watch this
if you don't don't even bother
this film is incredibly anti-climatic
unfunny
and downright rubbish.
This film has no real meaning to it other than 'stuff happens', i don't have a clue why this film has been nominated for anything because it truly terrible. it should be a 3 at the most
Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)
Simply rubbish
I don't believe this film deserves a star because there is no point in rating a film with no plot, terrible actors, rubbish director, appalling gore, Just plain and simply shocking.
There is only zombies in the last 10 minutes of the film and 4 minutes at the start. Simply Auwful
If you ever buy this or rent it just send it back without watching it it is crap
This film contains a high amount of useless gibberish and the plot line wanders from being in an asylum to a blood research lab.
Unfortunately the trailer looked good but trust me the most fun in this film you'l have will be seeing the credits at the end.
GENERAL 1. The beginning of the film yields a solid start with good camera work and picture quality so you know it's not NTSC-TV so at least it doesn't look like you're watching Cribs or Pimp my Ride. But from now on the plot wanders from a bunch of guys who are mentally challenged to a handful of people who are researcher's in a asylum
VERDICT 2. Don't bother looking at DVD, cassette and VHS Don't bother watching this crap unless your given it for free plus free cash handout.
0.01/10
Evil Dead II (1987)
Bruce and Raimi are pure Genius
Raimi is well known for his Spider man series but not as much as his evil dead series which is equally as good maybe even better.
This is a gore fest mixed with great comedy and the cheesy quotations from Ash makes the film even more enjoyable.
This film is remarkably much better than the original Evil Dead but don't be so surprised first read on By mistake i stumbled upon this film thinking it was actually a zombie film, sorry if you expected that but in all honesty its more of a ghoul kinda film. If no one agrees with me then write a complaint but to me a zombie is something that is slow, non Witty, dumb and don't talk thats not at all what is portrayed in this film.
Acting is very over-dramatic but it's supposed to be so don't think you've bought a rubbish film when you switch on. Great direction from Sam raimi and definitely worth waiting for EVIL DEAD IV.
If you want a good hour and so of gore slash and thrash then this is a perfect film for you, if you like black comedy same again, if you like old films then this again is the one for you. It's a true tribute to some of the best film legends you'll see. In some way you can kinda say this is one of the best horror films made if you can label it that.
But anyhow this film is definitely in my top five films of all time Buy it, rent it and enjoy it 10/10
Creepshow 3 (2006)
Poor but not insainly bad
This film didn't exactly thrill me to bits neither did it make me want to smash it up. The acting in this film goes from bad-worse-bad-okay-bad. The five stories in this film are incredibly boring and terribly written and virtually no gore.
The only story I liked was the proffeser's wife which you could probably watch for free, apart from that the stories seemed like something done by a fool.
And considering they had a (supposed) budget of £2,000,000 - $3,700,000 you would expect a bit more.
all in all this film is definitely not worth buying, maybe not even worth renting but if you see it in the charity shop for £0.10p you may wanna give it a go.
ACTING = 2/10 Directing = 2/10 Story/plot = 0.5/10 Effort = 3/10
Land of the Lost (2009)
Very Good Laugh
I have to admit it was very slapstick, but I believe that is funny (at least there were no toilet jokes eh?) After growing rather attached to will Ferrel films i think this is one of his funniest, if you like silly comedy this is a film for you plus i totally disagree with people who say it's for children. cos its not. When i first saw the DVD case i thought oh god it's just going to be cheap and poor but surprisingly it reminded me a lot of anchorman, there is a lot of intertexuallity and good use of camera. The story line in quite poor because it is so blatant what was going to happen in the end and the monster in it were obviously by the looks of them not a great deal of effort went into them. But all in all if you are 13 and beyond you should enjoy this comedy, it's light hearted and afterwards you feel good
hope this helps