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Reviews
Rough Night (2017)
Very Bad Copy of Very Bad Things
20 years ago Paul Berg wrote a wonderful dark comedy called Very Bad Things. In the two decades since Hollywood has clearly run out of ideas. They e made sequels, prequels, and reboots of almost every film out there. Now the pinnacle of creativity is to reboot a movie but change the characters gender, race, or sexuality. WOW!!!! Did they go to school for this?!?! Amazing and awe inspiring! See how a different gender makes the story completely different?' ME NEITHER!!! Yes, I'm looking at you Ghostbusters. I'm hoping this film was made due to a case of nepotism or maybe someone lost a bet. Losing a bet is the only reason you should be watching it. Now go watch Very Bad Things. You're welcome.
Into the Forest (2015)
Really?! Save yourself from this suicide note!
2 girls survive some unexplained breakdown of our power grid and then spend 90 minutes trying to passively off themselves with poor decisions that only get mind boggingly dumber as the film progresses!!! It's almost as if the author has ZERO faith in the ability of women to survive without the guiding hand (and intellect) of men. What little ham fisted foreshadowing there is clubs you over the head. Sleazy guy makes an appearance and you know you'll be seeing him again! And the big payoff here is NOTHING!! Nothing is resolved, nothing is explained, and basically nothing happens!!! Do yourself a favor and spend 90 minutes in an actual forest.
Halloween Ends (2022)
If insult and disappointment had a child...
Why did anyone bother with this?! You make the greatest slasher movie villain of all time. A man of pure evil who has been shot, stabbed, burned etc only to keep coming and is now suddenly mortal?! And to be met with such an unsatisfying end?! Jamie Lee, next time you need a payday this badly try Gofundme. I won't donate but it won't cost me 2 hrs of my life. The only positive is that my son hasn't seen it yet. Hoping it isnt too late to stop him! Anyone who is giving this a rating above 4 is either involved in production, related to production, or a bot. There isn't one healthy adult human out there that is going to be happy once the credits roll.
Assassination Nation (2018)
Misandry and propaganda.
If you hate men, then do we have the movie for you. Basically 3 teenage girls and Walter White's son in a dress, lecture us for an hour and 45 mins about how boys/men are the root of all evil and these plucky girls are just victims until they need to be heroes or something? Patriotism and guns are also bad, until they need to use them. This may sound redundant but if you lean left and you love hypocrisy then disregard my warning. If you've more than a couple firing synapses and a halfway decent grasp of common sense, trust me.
La ira de Dios (2022)
FAIL-Extremely unsatisfying
I'm hoping I've caught you before you hit play!!! This movie was a massive failure in the attempt to create an antihero. This had all the right ingredients to make a great thriller. Apparently that wasn't the goal because every one of these ingredients was mishandled. Very disappointing.
Hagane no renkinjutsushi (2017)
Video version of Cliffs Notes
This is the result of a big budget and a script written by a middle schooler. There were so many interactions that I could tell are supposed to be meaningful and important but none of them ever came close to actually appearing as either. I can only assume those who've read this comic will understand what's really happening. It's probably a fun companion to the comic but otherwise lackluster.
Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)
Manage your expectations
For what this is supposed to be, it's well done and fun! If you go into this expecting pacer worthy monologues and serious subject matter then the mistake is yours. It's a Nic Cage movie. Make some popcorn, turn off as much of your brain as is safely possible and just have fun. Yes it's surreal bordering on absurd. Yes the plot is crazy and the writing is amusing. Did I mention it has Nic Cage?! What did you expect?!
Sanitation Day (2020)
African discount Oceans 11?
Wow, this was just awful. At least Hollywood fills the screen with attractive people. Can't even say that here. Story-awful. Acting-awful (except for the thin cop) Direction-awful. The only reason I finished this movie was because I had invested too much time to quit once I realized it would never go anywhere. BEWARE SANITATION DAY!!!
This Was America (2020)
Leftist garbage
I realize the title of the review is a bit redundant but this is poorly made, ham-fisted, propaganda. Plays out as though it was written and directed by a first year poli-sci student who was home schooled on the commune. Calling it a comedy doesn't conceal the vacuum where any substance would normally be found. Other than that, the acting was good. Specifically the young female lead. Great job on the credits! Or maybe I was just thrilled to see them?
Huan tu (2018)
STOP!! Save yourselves!!!
What did I just watch?! Was this Singapores attempt to be gritty and surreal. The irony of this movie is that you have a missing insomniac being sought be an insomniac detective and the viewer ends up having to fight to stay awake. I would rather get caught vandalizing cars I. Singapore than be subjected to this again.
Outside the Wire (2021)
DUMB WOTH JIST A HINT OF STUPID
This is what happens when the first draft of a script is filmed without anyone actually looking at it. First off, the military advisor to this film has clearly never served. Maybe he was in the Salvation Army and thinks that counts? When the movie starts with a drone pilot in the AIR FORCE that went to "boot camp" on Parris Island who then gets tossed in with SF, you know you're in for a treat. Plenty of accurate shooting until someone really needs to die. So many hero's being blown to safety by the same explosions that vanquish the enemy. It's like every bad military/action trope and cliche were tossed in a boggle cube, shaken, and then designed to make you dumber within 90 minutes. The acting was good and CGI was up to snuff. Other than that.....
Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
Great movie until the last 10 mins
Nothing like enjoying 90 minutes, on the edge of your seat, only to realize you're rooting for the bad guy. I guess it's a somewhat accurate reflection of society today. We revere all the wrong people, especially in Hollywood. However, this was clearly not the intent of this movie so rather than coming across as clever or thought provoking we are left with disgust and disappointment. Had the movie backed the right pony it would've gotten an 8 or 9 but it didn't so they're lucky to get a 5.
The Tick (2001)
HILARIOUS
How I miss this show. I grew up reading this, still have one of the first issues ever printed. Patrick Warburton was very funny and his costars were well cast. It definitely deserved better.
Kalifornia (1993)
Better than the actual state I guess
First off, the acting was great. All 4 main characters were performed spectacularly. The plot was a great concept. The tension builds all along this road trip. However, this movie somehow just ends up being less than the sum of its parts. Still a decent way to kill some time and worth a watch.
Rescue Dawn (2006)
WOW! No need to embellish! MUST SEE!
Amazing story! As you watch, remind yourself that this ordeal actually happened to someone. Beautifully shot. Steve Zahn showing some chips and Christian Bale is clearly one of the most talented actors alive today. Herzog is a master. Do not miss this!
The One I Love (2014)
Something to talk about!
Let's face it, just about every conceivable plot/story in Hollywood has been written, rewritten, rebooted etc. So something this unique and original is a welcome change! Well written, very well paced, the acting was superb and the plot was great. Well worth your time!
A History of Violence (2005)
Will keep you watching!!!
Well written and well paced. My only complaint would be a clearer resolution. While the ending will be enough to satisfy just about every viewer there will be some of you that wish for a bit more detail. However, this certainly isn't a reason to avoid this movie. Entertaining and well worth the run time!
Personal Shopper (2016)
Average premise, horrible execution
The cure for insomnia. Imagine a spooky ghost movie only there's nothing spooky and there's only 1 ghost (potentially) this ghost never shows itself until almost the end and only shows itself by breaking something. Roll credits. I can't imagine anyone put time and effort into this, saw the finished product and thought, "Nailed it"
Awake (2021)
Not bad, not great
Plot-Mediocre
Pacing-Mediocre
Acting-Mediocre (I'm averaging the cast as a whole)
If there are many more categories about which you're curious, here's a hint, MEDIOCRE.
The Wedding Guest (2018)
Wasted potential
This could've been an easy 8 but the writers blew it. Everything else is great but when you have a character telling you that the girl can't be trusted and the guy who falls for it is the bad ass merc who is apparently world wise in everything but women, you've lost me. Everyone saw it coming except for poor Dev. If we can all see it coming it isn't much of a twist is it?
Najmro: Kocha, kradnie, szanuje (2021)
Wasted Potential
Maybe it's a cultural difference but this seemed like a potentially fun story, very poorly told. No background, no character development. I feel like I just watched every other scene of a 3 hr movie. 20 minutes in, I wanted to stop but once I start a movie I have to finish. Sadly, I made it all the way to the credits on this poorly executed (for lack of a better word) movie.
Archive (2020)
Very well done sci fi
Let's be honest, finding a sci fi movie these days that doesn't have some poorly conceived or stupidly executed component that just makes the whole production a joke, is quite rare these days. The story and characters in this are fantastic. As is the story. Amazingly sympathetic, non human characters. Over all, a very pleasant surprise and well worth a watch.
The Assistant (2019)
The Office minus the comedy
So we get to watch an assistant perform the monotonous duties of an assistant for 90 mins. Some young attractive girl shows up. Something bad may or may not be happening. Roll credits. That's it. You're welcome.
The Guardians of Justice (2022)
AND I AM BEING GENEROUS!!!
A blatant rip off of Watchmen. I'm giving this a 2. 1 point for effort. What they attempted to do could've been good. And 1 point for the fun cuts to brides game graphics etc. Other than that, this was nothing but a poor copy of Watchmen with a generous helping of overused tropes and cliches sprinkled in. Add to that the ham fisted Uber-woke over representation or every minority group to which they could hope to pander (how many times am I supposed to be surprised that the hero was closeted?!) and you have a frustrating way to waste a few hours waiting to see if it gets any better. It doesn't. But other than that it was great.
MindGamers (2015)
Just awful
Silly plot that can't quite figure out what it wants to be. Some mediocre choreography. An abundance of unnecessary Parkour. Roll credits. I just saved you 90 mins. You're welcome.