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miketaylor2007
Reviews
Project X (2012)
A party movie with no real purpose that has a few funny parts
Pretty awful because in Project X they don't even need to try. Just get a bunch of preppy frat boy loud mouthed punks together for a party and call it a movie. This is a direct to DVD party movie that somehow made it to theatres. The thing that fails most about it is the fact that it tries to latch on to what American Pie, Can't Hardly Wait, and Dazed And Confused already did. The difference between those movies and this one is they actually have a plot. I think for an 18-19 year old it will be enjoyable. I feel like I have seen better direct to dvds. What im wondering is what was all the hype over this? It has already been done a thousand times.
Corner Gas (2004)
How this show made it for five years I will never know
I only watched because it was a choice between this and Meet The Browns on a Monday morning. Corner Gas is a world where cops never see any action and a few people stand around in a gas bar and talk. It is a combination of standing and sitting with each character. The cops job is to stand around and talk, park the car, talk some more, and go to the diner to eat and chat. They will never have to worry about showing up to the scene of a crime because in this world the only people that exist are the cops and the people who work at the gas bar. The gas bar also never has any customers because I guess nobody wanted to appear as an extra in the series. I can promise you that if you sit down for an episode it will be the most bland half hour of your life. Thirty minutes felt like three years when watching this. I am not sure if the creators intentions were to make it this bland or not. Watching it felt like a day at work where the place is dead and you have no customers, so you stand around and talk for an 8 hour shift. Isn't that boring? Don't you wish you could see something happen? Well you won't see anything happen when watching Corner Gas. As for the comedy aspect of things... the annoying blonde character is full of one liners that sound like they were written up by a fourth grader. It is like watching Leno where he tells a really bad joke and the drummer hits you with a drum roll but nobody laughs it is just dead silence. I cannot even express how bad Corner Gas is. If you ever have the guts try and tune in. I just want to thank the creators of this show for inspiring me to only stick to watching my DVD collection. For those who can't afford a cable subscription I advise you to just leave the television off. Or go outside and watch some grass grow.. you are bound to see more action doing that.
Grown Ups (2010)
The title Grown Ups describes exactly what this movie is
The title Grown Ups suits this movie well since everybody in the movie is pretty old. I normally never give movies 1 but I will tell you why this deserves a 1. To me it felt more like a movie for these guys to seek closure in the fact that they really are getting old and aren't at the top anymore. Sandler once again proves that he lost his touch. Adam Sandler in his time had Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore which were great hilarious comedies. Rob Schneider had Deuce Biggalo, Chris Rock had Down To Earth, David Spade had Joe Dirt, Kevin James had King Of Queens but those times are over with and so are their careers. To me it just wasn't that funny and the movie only focuses on the fact that these are a bunch of old dudes not in their prime anymore. Sandler always gets the most beautiful women in his movies so of course he went with Selma Hayek and Maria Bello. They are still very talented actresses but all they could do is work with the roles that were handed to them. Steve Buscemi was the best part of this movie but you can put him in pretty much anything and hes hilarious. He is also the only actor out of the other guys that is still doing well (Boardwalk Empire). I think maybe it is time for Adam to throw in the towel or start aiming for more serious roles since he can't be the funny guy that we all knew and loved 12 years ago. I hope he takes a good look at himself and realizes he can't do these kind of movies anymore and sell it as a comedy. This felt like a drama and im not impressed at all.
The Ward (2010)
a good movie that combines horror and thrillers into one package
When you watch The Ward it will have you thinking many different things. I enjoyed the movie and the way it toyed with my mind. You think it's predictable, you say to yourself oh that's typical I saw it coming.. but then they throw in a huge twist that makes things seem a lot less stupid. So this film pretty much has the same effect on you as Shutter Island but doesn't rip off Shutter Island in any way. Let's talk about what was stupid first. The ghost looked like the tales from the crypt guy got a sex change. If this being was indeed a ghost I would assume it would look a lot less like a zombie, and since when do ghosts ever bleed in movies? I also thought it was pretty hilarious and corny that this being uses teleportation wherever it goes but thats good for the tons of parts that will make you jump. I thought they could have done something a little different in that aspect but no complaints how the film turned out overall. It's a fun watch and you will appreciate the movie a lot more when everything comes together in the end. I think the way the story was put together is perfect. Amber Heard really impressed me as well. I never realized how good she was until I saw this. 7/10 for a movie that I really enjoyed.
Abduction (2011)
never judge a book by its cover
The trailer for this movie looked interesting. I had high expectations for Abduction because in the trailer it looked like it had a lot of action and suspense. This in my opinion is the worst thriller ever created and I would feel ashamed to produce or direct such trash. The story was not put together well at all and Taylor Lautner's acting abilities are laughable throughout the entire film. I just came to realize this kid can't act at all and he should never have a staring role in anything. I absolutely hate the movie. What is next Hollywood? Bieber to star in Commando 2?! I believe Abuction is not even worth a one time watch and I hate the fact that they would get somebody as untalented as Taylor Lautner to star in it. I guess even if this movie had Van Damme it was already doomed anyway.
Arena (2011)
Great fun if you want to see a movie with lots of fighting and blood
This was a damn entertaining movie for the guy who loves fighting films. I thought Arena was great and I have nothing but good things to say about it. Samuel knew this was really good too or he would have never done it in the first place. I know when I turn on a fighting movie I don't want to experience deep emotions and have myself a good cry. I want to see a man beat another man's face in. I want brutality, I want violence, and this delivered. Seeing Samuel L Jackson play the villain is nice for a change and he does a fantastic job. Arena is kind similar to The Condemned. I don't want to give away any spoilers, but give this one a chance if you love fighting and gore. Sleepless in Seattle is for crying yourself to sleep at night, Arena is for an action packed gorefest of fights to the death. 10/10 because it was my favourite fight movie of 2011.
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011)
This was not as bad as everyone is saying it is
I understand the movie is ridiculously stupid, but Nick Swardson is hilarious in this. I think it has to be his funniest performance hands down. I couldn't stop laughing when I first saw his face and the bucked teeth with bowl cut. Coming in to this movie you knew it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. If you can't handle comedies that are stupid and funny you should avoid them. I think the people giving Buck Larson a 1/10 were the same ones giving Warrior 10 and comparing it to Rocky, but let's stick to the review anyways. With Happy Madison movies it's either always a hit or miss. I think Sandler gave us another great dark comedy that will be loved by a small group of people, and hated by most. The dark humour in Bucky Larson is very dirty, so be prepared for that. I think it appeals to mostly men who are 18-35. If you saw Grandmas Boy that would be the best way I could describe the very dark humour of this movie. I was disappointed Allen Covert didn't have a bigger role in Bucky Larson but im sure Sandler has other plans for him. At the end of the day this was Swardson at his absolute best. Christina Ricci also did a great job with the role she was given. Stephen Dorff was good as always, but Kevin Nealon (bull dance guy from Happy Gilmore) had me in tears. I have never heard him swear before so when he goes off it's priceless and unexpected. I think Bucky Larson Born To Be A Star deserves an 8/10 and it's unfortunate that people these days can't handle a great comedy just because it's dirty. No dirty isn't the word for it, this movie is filthy. I am laughing again just thinking about the concept. At least Sandler gave us something really filthy for a change, finally back to his roots.
Grind (2003)
if you don't like skateboarding you will not appreciate this movie
I think Grind is a great movie with a lot of comedy and good skating footage. This one will only appeal to you if you like skateboarding, so I can understand the mixed reviews. the humour in this film is meant for a younger audience. What did you expect before watching though? You must have gone into this movie knowing it was about skateboarding. I don't think a guy who is 40 and knows nothing about skating will appreciate it at all. With that being said, Grind has some pretty good skating scenes that you will enjoy watching. Bam Margara has a small role in the film also. I thought the entire movie was pretty hilarious but the story is unlikely to happen. Don't take Grind too seriously because it's a little far fetched. In real life this would never happen, but thats the beauty of these kind of movies.
Two and a Half Men (2003)
Two And A Half Men hilarious with Charlie dreadful with Ashton
I am rating Two And A Half Men 10 for all the laughs I have had over the years, but only with Charlie. Two And A Half Ashton is not the same show and is on a whole other level because it is the worst show on television today. I really think the role was cursed no matter who tried to replace Charlie Sheen because the entire show revolves around his life, the women he meets, and his family. You can't build a series based off of one guys life and get rid of him years later. Aston Kutcher is a good actor and im a fan but you can't stand to see his face on Two And A Half Men. Is it his fault? No I don't think it's Ashtons fault but the writers for making his character Waldon try to act like Charlie Harper and failing miserably. Waldon tries to be this ladies man like Charlie but comes off as a very bitter, scruffy looking guy with 8th grade jack off jokes and hes not funny at all. The way he comes into the picture also doesn't make any sense and it is retarded. I would call this season of Two And A Half Men the cancer of CBS and a wake up call for the next Hollywood jerk with an ego that tries to revive something that is so obviously dead. Please let this go Chuck you were wrong and Charlie was what made this show work.
Warrior (2011)
You would have to be a true warrior not to fall asleep
Comparing this movie to Rocky is an outrage, so shame on you if you dare compare a poop pile like this to Rocky. Warrior has some decent fighting scenes in it but thats where it ends which unfortunately isn't enough to make an entertaining movie. The acting was below average and the way the entire story was put together was a train wreck. This one just drags on and on and on and it's so unbelievably boring that you would have to be a warrior to stay awake. I think spending 2 hours watching grass grow would have a better plot. The fact that the story in a way tries to rip off Rocky makes it pretty pathetic as well but I would still never dare compare this to Rocky. I gave the movie a 3 because like I said the fighting scenes were OK.
Dark Blue (2009)
the best cop show ever made
Dark Blue truly takes these cop shows to a whole other level. I have always found the CSI, Law & Order type series to be so dreadfully boring they could actually put me to sleep. Dark Blue makes you feel more like you are watching a movie then a series which is a unique experience. We don't have to wait 45 minutes out of the hour for only a few minutes of action and gun fire because it's always happening and they keep you interested. Unlike focusing on the typical investigate this investigate that Dark Blue is all about a deep undercover unit hitting the streets and putting themselves right into the action. The cops are the ones who are actually committing the crimes so they can make that next bust. Save the put me to sleep and do some paper work garbage for CSI I promise you this one is a big hit and will keep you entertained. I would like to add that this review only applied to season 1. Unfortunately the show took a wrong direction for season 2 resulting in an epic fail and cancel. Everything I said that lacked in the typical cop series is what they applied to season 2. It's a shame because they really had something great here.
The Stranger (2010)
Steve is too good for this movie
Well just like I said Stone Cold Steve Austin is just too good for this movie. I think the only reason I sat through it was because im a big fan of his work and you just cannot compare this to movies such as The Condemned or Damaged. As far as the acting goes he did a pretty good job playing his role but the acting wasn't the problem in this movie. Erica Cerra was also very good I liked her acting in this movie and have never heard of her before this. It's just too bad that the story wasn't put together properly otherwise it might have been good. Im gonna be brutal I was so disappointed in this one that I would go ahead and say it's not even worth a one time watch. Everything Stone Cold has done aside from this was way better but im betting The Expendables will make up for this failure of a movie.
The A-Team (2010)
Are you kidding me?! Go see it in theatres 5 times and buy the DVD
This film was so amazing I was shocked. I never thought that it would be this good and you don't even miss Mr. T Rampage does such a good job replacing him. The whole cast was just great and the plot went beyond what was expected. The action scenes were ridiculous and completely blew my mind. Take all those James Bond Movies, Mission Impossible, Terminator, Rambo and compare them to the A-Team and they are all garbage. Hands down the best action movie of our time. No action film has anything on this! Murdock was pretty hilarious too so there's a few parts that will have you cracking up. Usually when they take a good classic and try to make it into a newer generation movie people are disappointed because it doesen't live up to the classic. This is the complete opposite of that and if you thought that the series was good well... this is just so much more entertaining and on a completely whole other level. 10/10 for the best action film I've ever seen. They really did something special here and im sure everyone who hasn't seen it yet is gonna love it. I could even see them making 3 more A-Team's with this same cast and turning it into a huge success.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
critics don't know a good movie when they see one!
This was a good movie I don't understand why people are hating on it so much. Just don't watch it expecting it to be the standard Street Fighter plot because it's not. This movie is not about entering a tournament and competing against other fighters instead it just focuses on the character Chun-Li's story. Rather then being a fighting movie it struck me as more of an action film. The cast was great and perfect for each character they played. Sure there was some fighting in there it could have had a little more fighting scenes but other then that I really enjoyed it. The explosions and gun fire makes up for the lack of choreography even though there is a few decent fighting scenes anyways. From the way they ended this it looks like they are going to make a sequel and if that happens id definitely pay to see it. At least they aren't painting the same picture over and over again because the standard fight in a tournament film has been done too many times and it's good when they throw some action into the mix like they did here. I gave this one an 8/10 because I really enjoyed it.
The Karate Kid (2010)
the real Karate Kid remake is called Never Back Down!
I kind of agree with the other reviewers about this film being OK but should not be called The Karate Kid. Sure it is the same concept as the older ones and a story told well but in my opinion it was really nothing at all like the older Karate Kid. Will Smith's son does a decent job with the roll but my problem was he is way too young. One one of the things enjoyable about the old Karate Kid was Danielle Laruso being a teenager and fighting off bullys who are in highschool. Here we are seeing an 11 year old boy fighting off other 11 year olds which is OK I guess for a younger audience but for guys like me who are in our mid 20s were expecting a little bit of oldschool Karate Kid in there and in my opinion this did not deliver like the other classics. The older movies were pg 13 as it is and that was fine but this is like a watered down version of the old films which has a lot less fighting scenes (hardly any at all) and thats very disappointing for The Karate Kid. Jackie Chan did a great job his character was some what fun to watch but I feel like if it wasn't for Jackie Chan staring in the movie and being a fan of his work I would have honestly walked out of the theatre. I expected a lot more out of this and since I didn't care for it much I give it a 4/10. Like I said it doesen't earn the title of Karate Kid the real remake is called Never Back Down...
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
a nice change for the franchise, something different
I was a big fan of the franchise before this came out and I thought I was going to hate it but it actually turned out to be pretty good and lived up to the hype of other Fast And Furious films. I really liked the concept of drifting in this one and the fact that it takes place in Tokyo is pretty interesting. This version has all new characters so you won't be seeing Brian or any of the old cast until the next film. What is pretty cool about this is that they made fast and the furious 4 a prequel to tokyo drift so really number 4 is taking place before tokyo drift in the story. It ties into place with one or two characters for the next film. Plenty of sexy Japanese cars and hot girls in this film so of course that never changes. Out of all of them this is one of my favourites.
Armored (2009)
What a great movie, a modern day Money Train
Well unlike most people.... I went into this movie expecting it to not be that good and it turned out to be an awesome film. Pretty cool plot I love the idea of it but what really made this movie was the actors. they all did an incredible job and it was pretty cool to see fishburn and dillon work together. It's a movie where you go in thinking right away you will be able to predict whats going to happen but it doesen't quite turn out how you predicted. I don't want to give away anything about the story so I wont... but I suggest giving this one a chance. If you saw the movie Money Train and enjoyed that you would love this movie. Maybe everything Lawrence Fishburn touches is gold?
Twilight (2008)
basically a girly chick flick gone vampire movie, dreadful!
I had no other choice but to give this film the lowest rating I can which will be a 1 since 0.5 isn't on the charts. I will explain to you why most people who like vampire movies will hate this movie to death. It goes the complete opposite direction of what anyone would want a decent vampire movie to have. There is pretty much no violence throughout the entire film, instead of being aggressive most of the vampires are friendly, the entire story is just about romance which makes the movie suck even worse. It was like watching the movie Clueless or TV series Degrassi High only no comedy and just strictly the ditzy chick stuff. Now combine that with the TV series True Blood but take out all of the violence and killing, and suspense. What do you get? The worst vampire movie ever made in the history of film making. I am a huge movie lover its very rare that I bash a film like this, but I can't say I have ever seen a movie that I hated so much before. My advice is to spare yourself from watching this movie.
Wild Country (2005)
a potentially good movie gone bad
Let me tell you something about this movie right now... it could have been a decent one if it wasn't for the actors. Not to say the acting was bad they were OK but its just the fact that they are all Scotish and when you are watching it the entire time its very hard to understand them with the strange accents. The storyline is kind of typical horror lover story some teenagers go out into the woods camping and find themselves being chased by a monster (im not giving away anything that isn't already on the back of the DVD). If you like these kind of horror movies I suppose you could check it out but im just warning you turn the subtitles on.... because even though they speak English, you could almost say they are speaking a foreign language! It is ridiculous!
Beyond the Law (1993)
a true story that will leave you in shock
I am a big fan of Charlie Sheen's work and in my opinion this was his best roll ever. The fact that the movie had so much suspense in it and all these bad ass bikers would make you think it was just made up but it is actually a true story which makes it so awesome to watch. Charlie Sheen and Michael Madsen really make this enjoyable to watch and you will appreciate the acting especially for an older action movie. The very sexy talented Linda Fiorentino was also in the film and she did a great job on her roll. I don't want to give away anything about the story so I wont tell anything. Just keep in mind cops, bikers, guns, and drugs. If you want to buy the movie on DVD or rent it don't ask for Beyond The Law. The name of the movie was changed to Fixing The Shadow and its pretty rare to find now so you may have to do some hunting for it (its worth it) 10 out of 10 for the best true story film I have ever seen!
Confessions of a Pit Fighter (2005)
good fighting movie
I thought the movie was really good. It's no Bloodsport but it was close enough. Most of the actors are not very well known but they did a pretty good job on playing out this film. I did recognize one of the guys from a smaller role in the Spiderman movies, as well as a guy from Night At The Roxbury. The story line was interesting, and had pretty decent choreography. A lot of fighting movies that come out today aren't that great anymore because I think they tend to try a little too hard with special effects. As for this film it was a lower budget movie which was what made the fighting scenes seem more realistic. Overall I give it an 8 out of 10 and recommend this movie if you are into fighting films.
Deception (2008)
a thriller that falls short from the usual
Deception is a decent film but it probably wont do much to impress you. It is a suspenseful story about love, obsession, and betrayal. You would most likely remember Michelle Williams from the show Dawsons Creek who looks absolutely stunning compared to how she used to. You would also reckognize Natasha Henstrdge (Species, The Whole Nine Yards) who plays a very small roll in the film and she looks amazing as usual :) Unlike most thrillers that usually catch your attention and wow you this film falls pretty short from that. If you like thrillers it wouldn't hurt to check it out, but you probably wont ever want to watch it again after the first time. I give it a 5 out of 10 because the actors were good, but the story could have been better.