sloopjohnb37 Reviews

The Invincible Brothers Maciste (1964)

Oh so funny, yet unintentionally so

[1/10 · 16 July 2006]

Yes, ahem. It has been some 36 years since I watched this monstrosity on afternoon Chicago television, but it left an indelible imprint on my psyche. It seems like one of the Maciste (Mah Chee Stay) brothers was Hercules and the other: I don't remember. They ride about Italy on horses, wearing loin cloths and getting into wrestling matches.

At one badly-dubbed point, Maciste puts his hand on his brother's should and says "Look! A tiny island." The delivery of this line was so funny I laughed till I almost got sick Not recommended for the faint of heart.

You must see this at some point. The brothers are nicely coiffed, with highly groomed beards, if I remember correctly.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

"This is my happening and its freaking me out!"

[11 August 2004]

These words could not have been spoken with a straight face at any time beyond early 1968, and then only under special circumstances.

I have to say, this movie is not exactly out of place with many of the cinematic offerings from the 1967-1968 timeframe, which makes its 1970 date somewhat confusing. (Compare and contrast to other grade Z films of the period: "Savage Seven", "Wild In the Streets", "The Party" and "The Penthouse", for instance). Was this made in 68 and released in 70 or was it "a very authentic look backward two years"? I have to say, that by 1970, there were no people left around who looked like this, with the eye make-up, haircuts, clothing etc.

Pop culture was mutating rapidly during this time period, with every year equating to 5, in "normal" times. The jargon used in this film had an original shelf-life of about 8 months, after which, its use was self-parody.

The music could only have been marginally acceptable in 1968 or prior, for example. The zest with which people indulge also places it in this timeframe, rather than later. However, why quibble?

Certainly, this movie defies analysis on many levels. It is confusing, abnormal, crazy, excessive and fun to watch. It seems to work on the brain-damaged level of "Showgirls". What were they thinking? Its impossible to work out. Maybe Ebert could shed some light on this?

I'm totally confused but somehow happy with this movie. Its a real, though totally unreliable time capsule.

Goodfellas (1990)

One of my top five

[10/10 · 3 June 2004]

Stylish, noirish, "reality" movie is a blunt rush of cinematography that makes you giddy. Beyond the genius adaptation of Nick Pileggi's tell-all, "True Crime" book, you have enormous performances by almost everyone in the film. Ray Liotta is off the chart as Henry Hill, Pesci is extremely disturbing as Tommy, DeNiro is insanely good as Jimmy, Paul Sorvino was never better and Lorraine Bracco's turn as Karen sends the whole project into overdrive. The small things, like Tommy's mother's paintings and the crew's discussion of the boat painting bring a demented light to the movie which frankly has not been attained in any other movie. Improves with frequent viewing.

20 Million Miles to Earth (1957)

Go ahead and shoot, its only the Colloseum we're destroying

[5 January 2004]

From the opening of the Sicilian fishermen watching as a ridiculously big rocket embeds itself in the seabed of the Mediterranean like a big dart to the ending big shoot out in the Colloseum, this movie is just wonderful.

There's an Italian kid who is really focused on Texas: he wants the cowboy hat, the horse, the pistols. There's the horny astronaut, always hitting on the professor's daughter (and visa versa). There's the professor. Then there's the monster. Man, what a monster!

The Black and White is beautiful in this film and the ending is so crazy that you just have to experience it. This one turns up pretty regularly on TCM and other stations, so watch your local listings for this mesmerizing, goofy sci-fi klassic.

Naked Lunch (1991)

More approximate to the spirit of Mr Burroughs there will probably never be

[10/10 · 29 December 2003]

Cronenberg does a more than adequate job of filming the essence of Wm Burroughs writing with this full-tilt re-write of the title novel. Using perhaps the cut-up approach from Burroughs own trick bag, he constructs a film that touches all of the themes so well known to Burroughs readers.

Peter Weller is scrupulously dead-on as Bill Lee and Judy Davis incredible as Joan, his wife. One seldom sees performances such as this in American Cinema. This is unflinchingly unflinching.

On top of everything else, this film is deadpan funny as only (we though) Burroughs could be.

Thanks for the Criterion Collection Special Edition. Oh yes!

Switchblade Sisters (1975)

An excellent choice for bad movie night

[7/10 · 29 December 2003]

Planning a 'bad movie' party? You could hardly do better than the Sisters here. The snazzy dialog and happy acting style will keep you and your party going.

You might want to watch this one along with Ed Wood's "Jailbait" and perhaps "Big Bad Mama". This one deserves a viewing with friends.

As Good as It Gets (1997)

"Sell 'crazy' somewhere else!"

[4 August 2003]

Didn't everyone but the dog get an Oscar nomination out of this film?

Hey, the dog was brilliant opposite Jack and Kinnear, he deserved a little doggie Oscar, in my opinion. He seemed to play back some of Nicholson's mugging to him.

Man, I'm a hardboiled cynic, but I really crave this movie: its just too funny. Hope Lange as Mother really outdid herself, too. Freaking everyone in the film commands the screen and frankly, those are the kind of performances required when you have Jack in a movie. Otherwise he just chews the scenery to shreds, leaving you with only his indelible performance in the aftermath (a la "A Few Good Men").

Helen Hunt is actually good in this movie, her only worthwhile cinematic performance since that Girl Quarterback movie and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" (Man, is that a great movie, but I digress...)

Also, a reprise of the waitress-abuse which fairly launched The Jack in "Five Easy Pieces". Consistency, consistency.

What a happy ending! What a nice guy Melvin turns out to be. He's so bad, that it has to turn out good, just to lend balance.

Jurassic Park (1993)

I Love / Hate this mega-dino movie

[23 June 2003]

Oh my god are the dinosaurs in this movie wonderful! And talk about high-concept. Awesome. And Jeff Goldblum just about upstages the lizards with his wonderful, quirky, jerky epitomization of Malcolm (Jeez, world class comedic movie acting or what? This may be on a par with Peter Sellers.)

But, (and there's a couple of big butts here) something went all 'Disney' in the making of this movie from the dark concept of Crichton's novel to the screen.

First, there's the warm&cuddly sub-plot of Sam Neill and the cute little kids. Yecch! Blecch! I understand this was the 'softening agent' to get the movie made and to appeal to "kids of all ages", but what a mistake.

Second, Hammond gets killed by the little blood-sucking dinosaurs in the book. How I longed to see this happen in the movie! Big disappointment.

I wanted a much darker movie where everybody dies or goes to jail and the dinosaurs escape to the mainland with no resolution in sight. Boy, would that have made a great movie!

The Razor's Edge (1946)

Very awesome film, serious in black and white

[8/10 · 23 June 2003]

This film had me magnetized from the first time I saw it. I guess I'm suckered in by the pursuit of knowledge and truth deal going on in Tyrone Power's character Larry. Also, Gene Tierney is one of the most beautiful stars ever even if she's a real b***** in this movie.

Anne Baxter is a feast for the eyeballs as the doomed contender for Power's affections. I think this was her first role. Clifton Webb as the tiresome old homosexual trying to butt into everyone's business was right on the money. And how many novel adaptations feature the novelist in the framing scenes? (I don't know either, but not many, I'll bet).

I like the scene where Larry is doing manual labor in Paris all day and discussing the Upanishads with wild-eyed old dudes in cafes at night.

Damn! What a lifestyle.

Watch this one on a rainy day when you're home "sick". Hey, I feel a little ill right now.

Almost Famous (2000)

Now Junior, behave yourself!

[13 June 2003]

I've got two words for you: "Frances" and "MacDormand".

Her performance as the long-suffering rock mother puts this film into absolute overdrive. Without her, its a good movie. With her, it is a great movie. She's so remarkably funny and true-to-life it hurts.

What do you say, let's just issue her an Academy Award every year and get it out of the way.

Showgirls (1995)

Flawlessly bad: the best bad film ever made?

[10/10 · 13 June 2003]

Watch. Cringe. Watch Cringe.

This is like an Ed Wood film with a $100M budget. I can't really make out what point our esteemed film crew is trying to make here, but they're saying it with style and professionalism.

Elizabeth Barkley is way out to lunch as Nomi. Oh my god! She brings the character to life, but what an idiotic character! Supporting players Kyle Maclachlan and Gina Gershon are studiously slimy. Viva Las Vegas, y'all.

You have to see it to believe it and even then you probably won't believe it.

I suggest you watch this as though it were a mystery. Comedy. No, a horror movie. No.......

Back to the Future Part II (1989)

"Do you know what this means, Marty?"

[10/10 · 5 June 2003]

It means one of the best, most highly-synchronized film tour de forces of all time! That's all!

This is truly a film which reveals itself with multiple viewings, as well.

Some accolade epithets for this film: Goofy! Delirious! Self-referential! Cinmatically referential! Funny! Serious! Crazy! Best overacting of 1989!

Atlantis: The Lost Continent (1961)

Possibly one of the finest movies ever made - thanks, George Pal!

[6/10 · 2 June 2003]

Yes, yes. Actually, I encountered this movie first as a "comic book based on the movie" when I was 11 years old (in 1961). That comic book really made an impression on me! (Money well-spent from my paper route). Anyway, the part I like best is where the Atlanteans are making men into beasts by grafting snouts and horns onto them. Impressive! I can't work out whether its "Island of Dr Moreau meets Ulysses" or "Pinochhio meets Jason and the Argonauts". However, all of that doesn't really matter. Let's just say they don't make em like this no more. Stiff, Biblical-epic-style acting abounds.

Three cheers for George Pal!

The Time Machine (1960)

"Govern-ment? We have no govern-ment."

[9/10 · 28 May 2003]

Hey, the Eloi alone are worth the price of admission. Talk about clueless!

However, George Pal blew the lid off the sci-fi genre with this big-screen beauty. Forget that the dude from Mr Ed plays a Scottish guy (he's good, by the way)- this pic rates up there with Creature From the Black Lagoon and The Day the Earth Stood Still. (Note that its even in color.) With what fascination may you watch this movie.

For children, especially little boys, you can't beat this. I first saw it when I was a lad of 10 and an indelible impression it did make. Later, in the age of video, my two sons watched it over and over and over, nigh wearing out the tape.

Check out the very young Yvette Mimieux as the completely vapid blond of our adolescent dreams. Wide-eyed, gullible, tractable as sheep. Gee whiz!

Planet of the Apes (1968)

All hail Charlton Heston!

[15 May 2003]

It took a REALLY BIG performance by future NRA faceman Chuck to overshadow all the monkey furniture in this astonishing cinematic overstatement. Fortunately for us, his acting was big enough to stand up to and yea verily, to upstage the supporting cast of talking chimps, monkeys and gorillas.

Our lasting impressions of this movie remain the classic Heston lines, not the make-up. Pretty darned impressive. "Get your stinking paws offa me, you damned dirty apes!"

No best actor academy award? Give me a break! Chuck, you got my vote for 1968 (and that was my favorite year).

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Better Than Gone With The Wind and Casablanca rolled up together

[10/10 · 4 April 2003]

Well, I've only seen this movie twice, but if I had the time, I would see it a few more times on the giant screen. This movie makes everything released this year look like Wayne's World or Madonna-Acted-In-It. The movie is literally a trip to another reality. I'm still gnawing on the big battle scene in my head. This movie made me re-think my lifelong indifference to reading the Ring Trilogy. Now I'm going to read it.

DAMN, IT'S GOOD!

The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

Check the opening shot of Billy Bob's haircut

[10/10 · 27 March 2003]

What plagues my mind through this movie is the absolute reconstruction of early 50's sets, humans and behaviors. Awk! A masterpiece of reconstruction this is. Frumpy, bored, gawky, clumsy, coarse, thick, ignorant, self-absorbed creatures plod through the authentic interiors and exteriors as if trapped in the penultimate sociological horror movie. Night of the Living Dead, meet Leave it to Beaver.

This movie magnetized me!

That haircut: repulsion / attraction. You can't look away and you can't help but laugh in recognition. (Come on, somebody! Invent rock and roll and hurry it up!) This film is like "Pleasantville" turned to "Unpleasantville" and instead of color breaking out the black and white just gets more intense.

Did Frances McDormand win the Oscar yet? Let's just send her a truckload of them and get it over with.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

Complete strangeness engulfs ancient world of myth

[22 March 2003]

Friends, I love this movie. Tom Baker is possessedly fiendish as the evil sorceror, conjuring a personal-viewer / flying demon from Mandrake root and aging preternaturally as more of his black magic is used.

For his part, Sinbad is glibly heroic and unmoved by uncommonly strange monsters as he boats along with his pal in the golden mask. Caroline Munro FILLS the screen, statues come to life and enormous monsters threaten the intrepid band on their mystery trip.

The film generally follows the 'quest' trope in lieu of plot and well it should. This is a good vehicle for introducing one Harryhausen spectacle after another.

More Sinbad films! What is Hollywood waiting for

Wild in the Streets (1968)

There's a new voice, rising up angry in the sky

[21 March 2003]

My high school buddies and I drove into Chicago to watch this the day it opened in 1968 and were not disappointed. On the way, WLS AM radio played "Jumpin' Jack Flash", which was the first time any of us had heard that tune. I think we may have inhaled some contraband, but I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was good to be "young, dumb and full of ***!" (-to quote Mr Busey, from Point Break.)

Some epic bits from this movie: 1) Richard Pryor spikes the DC water supply with LSD, resulting in a congress-full of hopelessly tripped-out Senators and Representatives. 2) Ed Begley and Shelley Winters wander about in flowing robes and caftans at the "Acid Concentration Camp" for people over 30. 3) Extremely young Billy Mumy confronting the great lout, Max Frost and declaring "We're putting everyone over 8 out of business!" 4)Diane Varsi cavorting nude in a fountain 4) Future Brady Buncher Barry Williams as the young terrorist Max.

See, this is one highly-lacking-in-credibility enterprise, but you have to love it. Watch and remark to yourself how this movie could only have been made in that halcyon year, 1968. Nothing this wonderfully over-the-top crazed and ridiculously sublime has been made since nor will ever grace the screen again.

For comparison (and companion) purposes, view this superb teen psychodrama in series with other 1968 befuddlements such as: "Planet of the Apes", "2001: A Space Oddysey", "Rosemary's Baby", "Putney Swope" and "The Savage Seven".

Christopher Jones only immortal role was the highly Hitleresque rocker, Max Frost.

Jeez, gimme the DVD already! This glorious cinematic potato is out of print!

Black Dog (1998)

A movie so good you don't want it to end...and it doesn't

[20 March 2003]

Let's see, let's make a movie about truckers. Who can we get? How about Patrick Swayze? Yeah, that's good. Now for the villain- Meat Loaf? No, you're insane. Randy Travis as the sidekick? Wait a durned minute here! It's 'BLACK DOG'.

Poor Mr Swayze, if he drives a truck again, he'll go to jail...again! "But honey, we're losing the house!" Suddenly (deus ex machina), a deal he can't refuse comes his way, and after all, he is the best gol'darn trucker of them all.

I would have loved to be at the pitch meeting for this movie. "Well, we have $14M. Why don't we just throw it..........here!"

The funny part is, this is so good you can't stop watching it. And boy, is Swayze looking old! Watch out for the Black Dog.

Soldier (I) (1998)

"I'm going to kill them all, sir"

[10/10 · 20 March 2003]

Is this Mr Russell's finest work?

Let's see: "Escape from New York", "Big Trouble in Little China", "Elvis", "3000 Miles to Graceland", "Stargate"

Hey, it just might be!

As good as all of those movies are, this one is better. I dare you to find more mayhem in a sci-fi picture. This is crazier than them all. Get a beer, pop some corn and get ready.

Russell never cracks a smile as the man bred to be a soldier.

(He does kill them all, too).

Beyond the Law (1993)

"I think I'm losing my ****ing mind!"

[20 March 2003]

The above was the epic line delivered with consummate B-movie fury by our boy Charlie in this homage to classick 60's biker flicks. This winds up being a better movie than its forebears, like "Born Losers", "Hells Angels on Wheels", etc (not saying much).

If you are a C. Sheen fan like yours truly and haven't seen this film, pump yourself up for some prime fare. This one rates up there with Navy Seals and Red Dawn. That the film also stars the action-scenery-chewing Michael Madsen is merely gravy on the beefcake, as it were.

The story and its delivery could only have been rendered from life, as indeed it was (though surely through a ham-glaze of self-service).

I love this movie (but then again, I love "Road House")

Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)

You have to love a web-site where "Q" is taken seriously

[20 March 2003]

For me, "Q" is all about Michael Moriarty as the down and out jazz pianist / scat singing loser, obviously improvising a nutty role to beat the band. (cross-reference his offhand performance in another Cohen film, "The Stuff"). MM is wonderful in this role, bouncing off other members of a bemused, veteran cast in a wild spin on the "ensemble cast" motif. Candy Clark, David Carradine and Richard "Shaft" Roundtree help make this a horror-comedy to savor.

The plot item I am still working out: how does old Quetzlcoatl fly through Manhattan while simultaneously managing to always stay between the millions of potential viewers and the sun? Must be the most powerful use of suspension of disbelief in motion picture history.

Twilight (1998)

I rented this based on the cast....

[19 March 2003]

....and was not disappointed. Newman, Garner, Sarandon, Hackman and Witherspoon deliver. Also, vet Robert Benton delivers a fine, low-key film in extremely professional style. Many things can and do go wrong in this Hollywood double-cross script. A whole lotta nuance in one package.