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Reviews
The Strain (2014)
Great idea...infuriating execution!
The "master" looks so goofy I almost laughed when I first saw it. I thought maybe this is some cultural difference for what is supposed to look scary to whoever designed it. How do you provide such amazing tension and creepy situation then resort to ....well that. It leaves me feeling unsure of whether this is more tongue and cheek than strong horror. The most infuriating part is yes, the writing of dialogue and actions by people that are "supposed" to know better. The Corey Stall character is so adamant about good protocol, yet loses his nerve when it comes to CDC basic knowledge! My microbiology professor used to work at the CDC and Stall constantly ignores contamination protocol The old man wants to kill himself to end "the master" then doesn't do it when he has the opportunity TWICE!!! Nora acts touch and tells us she will show her "balls" in the beginning to signify her "toughness" then proceeds to engage in Whiny weepy behaviors. Of course she wants sex during the most heightened moments of danger in the house that clearly indicates vampire presence, then acts angry when her constantly vacillating lover tells his wife's best friend his wife and son mean everything to him. ???? Makes no sense as if she wasn't having an affair with him and his jacked up situation for the past year! Come on step this writing up and make it connect to the characters you created, otherwise why come back in 2015 except provide anything other than the typical twilight-ey Vampy boredom that has saturated the media.
The Haunting of Helena (2012)
This was a wonderfully Creepy Movie!
Let me say first, this is actually a "foreign" film. It is in English 99% of the time, but the other 1% required subtitles for the written parts. The parts of the film such as newspaper articles were all in Italian. The speaking is not done with voice overs, thank goodness, hate that, but the written information that was subtitled was also tiny on the screen so it was hard to read and they swiftly disappeared making them hard to catch somewhat. As far as the acting, it was very common acting portrayal for Italian films so I can see how someone would assume the acting was bad, which it was not. If you are used to foreign films you would not think the acting is bad, you'd understand that emotional expressions by people in other countries do not necessarily equate with "American" standards of the US. As someone who speaks fluently and studied several languages and cultures this is a good movie. The creepy aspects are well done! Dario Argento fans would definitely be pleased or anyone who actually understands other cultures and watches foreign films regularly. If you are someone who only watches American films and "blockbusters" and rarely watch any kind of "Indie" film, you might as well pass and allow the more culturally competent film aficionado to enjoy this horror film as it stands in its gruesome frightening way.
Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12 (2005)
Oh my goodness I laughed my head off!
It was hilarious! It is so not what most people would expect if they haven't seen it. It is NOT serious, and all the factions are part of the humor: the constant monotonous melody, sing- song-narrative, the crazy A.. twists and turns, the crazy ridiculous rhymes that didn't always work. It so plays on the crazy story R&B songs about (Lord help me, "ig'nant" drama that a lot of low class nuts bandy about all the time. What can I say I know people who come up with these crazy story lines in their real life! I am still laughing about the fact it was actually produced. Think "Married With Children" on crack crazy only with the black community. The interweaving was actually quite smart if you can just get past the monotonous typical story/ballad melody. Since it's all comedy no one should take offense from it. It's in the vein of "Mary Harman" and "Soap" it's over the top crazy humor, but the point overall is something to think about if you really want to take it seriously--think before you have an affair....you never know where that affair's been, can I get an "Amen?!!!" ha ha ha. Let me put this waiver out there though, this does not represent all African Americans/Black people, so if you don't know this...the humor will likely be lost and reduce to something racist. I think R. Kelly deserves some kudos for putting this together with excellent acting talent! If you watch the Browns, please this can't possibly offend you!
Abominable (2006)
Absolutely fun creeper movie!
I have to say excellent for the hilarity, the acting by the veterans involved. Gloss over the computer graphics and silliness that most monster movies have and enjoy Jeffrey Combs, Lance Henriksen, Paul Gleason, and even Christien Tinsley! I still watch it and laugh my head off with lines like: "Another Darwin Award...Comin' up" by Combs or "Monsters are a real hoot...in the meantime, if you don't mind, I'm going to the head; I'm going to give birth to a monster" by Gleason! You have to know these actors to love what's so flippin' hilarious about this movie when Henriksen says, "Shh--I'm sorry sweetheart you scared the crap out of me. Oh wow, that is gross..." So different from the other characters he is used to playing. We can't forget Rex Linn and Dee Wallace Stone! hahaha This is definitely enjoyable for people who like monster movies with some creepy scenes or "ick" kind of scenes thrown in with predictable surprises that still are kind of creepy...people who remember nightmare theater and Sunday afternoon Sci-Fi shows from thirty years ago. Thank you Lalo for this fun movie to laugh at and watch with friends on a monster marathon night!