Jst-nl Reviews

When Darkness Falls (2022)

Bad acting, but a very interesting thriller

[4/10 · 22 January 2024]

From the first moment of the movie, you know that the acting isn't going to be great. But having said that, apart from the acting, I think it comes together. The scenery is nice, the shots are not special, but hey are definitely not bad, and I have to say the story is actually quite interesting.

If you are willing to forget the bad acting and breathing dead people, there are enough interesting things in this movie that makes it worth viewing.

It's totally not a Hollywood movie where there are clues scattered everywhere, and the low pace of the movie is a pleasant.

Even though I gave it a four it's worth viewing, if you can forgive the acting.

My apologies to the actors though. The were very good for their roles, and I'd like to see more of them.

We Chose the Milky Way (2015)

Scary and interesting.

[7/10 · 31 January 2016]

Are they actors, are they real? Is it scripted, a documentary, a mockumentary? Anyway it is hard to believe you could come up with a script like this, or find this in real life. The short shows the lives of a group of girls who's lives revolve around tanning, nails, hair extensions, selfies, facebook and instagram.

This short raises so many questions, like what will become of these girls in five or ten years, what does the rest of their day look like, what happened at the party and what would a "boy version" of this shore be like. But the main feeling after seeing this movie is disbelieve and confusion and maybe a bit of "the horror, the horror".

To me, that is a positive thing.

Happy Feet (2006)

Thanks, but no thanks.

[3/10 · 19 January 2007]

Clearly the CG techniques are still improving. The particle animation is very nice, textures are great, procedural whatever is great too.

Oh. Don't forget all the nice music. We all know the songs in this movie. Yes we do!

The whole problem is technique doesn't make a movie and well known songs don't make a movie. If the story isn't interesting the movie just isn't interesting.

Clearly we're well on the way to really realistic CG, but we're still on our way. There is a lot more to learn. In LOTR we've seen mass character animation (with a nice result) but mass penguin-scenes just aren't interesting.

And Afro-American penguins and Latino penguins. Come on. A Ramon penguin? Ramon. I think WARM, I think palm trees. I don't think Antarctica. It doesn't work. It just doesn't.

My conclusion: quite nice on one hand. A terrible failure on the other. The feeling of the failure remains. I'm sorry...

Actually... I'm not.

For CG: see Lord of the Rings. For dance: see Lord of the dance. Don't see this movie. It's a waste of your time.

Around the World in 80 Days (2004)

Deconstruction or demolition of the story???

[4/10 · 11 August 2004]

It's just amazing how this director isn't hindered by any sense of (foreign) cultural heritage whatsoever.

No effort is spared to reduce the original story to the absolute bare minimum: there is a man that has to travel around the world in 80 days and in the end has one spare day to win the bet.

Of course there are funny parts. The roller coaster in the beginning of the movie has a touch of Jules Verne. Maybe the jet pack too, but still it's not what it 'should' be, if you've read the books.

If this wasn't a rip-off from a good book, it might have been funny, but now to me, this movie is a sad waste of time with some funny elements.

I'm very sorry...

Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son (1969)

zoom in... zoom out...

[2/10 · 29 January 2004]

I don't know if this is the creme de la creme of the avant garde movie stuff, but using mirroring, speeding up and ssslllooowwwiiinnnggg dddooowwwnnn and zooming in to get "into the amoebic grain pattern itself" is nice for 30 minutes, but for the other 60 (90?) minutes it's too much of the same.

(no, it's different! each frame _seems_ to be the fame, but if you look at the details for about 10 minutes you'll see they're different)

Yawn. The 1905 version was quite a laugh though.

The 10th Kingdom (2000)

What a waste of time

[1/10 · 6 June 2003]

This is terrible! What a complete waste of time, proof of lack of culture. Ferengi and fairy tales don't mix. Snow White memorial prison, please. This is an insult to the Grimm-brothers and many others. Sad sad sad...

How about Strong Bear memorial cemetery? Wouldn't that be nicer as a cultural heritage?

Dog Soldiers (2002)

ob-vi-ous!

[7/10 · 30 September 2002]

the first 15 minutes are interesting. the rest is a joke. an obvious plot. 'horror' that only seems funny. and even the glorious moment of survival, the next morning when he's standing in the door opening of the ruin made me LOLROTF.