ernst_s_blofeld Reviews

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Finally being appreciated for what it is....

[10/10 · 26 February 2007]

The BEST Bond film to date.

Peter Hunt was very courageous to stray from the formulaic and give us this Bond masterpiece. I think the resentment to this film by some shows just how predictable and unimaginative the masses demand their motion pictures be.

Everything from the outstanding theme, to the cinematography, to the casting and a respectful adherence to Ian Fleming's Novel make this the Bond film to be measured by not Goldfinger. And given the new slant by the newest Bond, Casino Royal(2006), it seems a given that the franchise seems determined to abandon the Connery formula in favor of the sophisticated Hunt/Fleming model.

Sweet Dreams (I) (2005)

Riveting.

[9/10 · 27 January 2006]

Filmed in HD Digital Video (although you can't tell), this taut thriller delivers several twists before the final gripping finale (spoilers not included).

I thoroughly enjoy Mr. Awad's portrayal of the underbelly of American life, as he has so deftly done before in "The Killing Kind". Jessica Drizd is perfect as the sultry and licentious Nancy and Buzz Mauro is truly riveting as the pathetic and loathing Mike (the archetypical Willy Loman character). Mike filled with fear and self hate and Nancy engulfed by greed and suspicion put out enough raw chemistry to set ablaze their hotel room in an emotional inferno.

My only complaint is that this drama is so fleeting and ends too quickly. The characters are so well fleshed out in the 20 minutes on screen that this film could have easily been made into a short feature.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Complete overrated BULLS---!!

[29 March 2004]

Unbelievable how relatively smart young people can get duped into thinking that this film trilogy is the gospel of their generation. Yes the first installment had some interesting special effects, but not much else other than one f the worst actors of his generation. There was no story. There was nothing. And every subsequent sequel afterwards less and less so. I really feel sorry for the fans of these films. While the Big Wachowski's are busy getting 30 lashes from their dominatrix Helga their poor fans are spending their last dime on overpriced pleather trenchcoats and wrap around sunglasses trying desperatly to find some meaning in life from a group films that had no meaning.

Lost in Translation (2003)

DADDY, I WANNA MAKE A MOVIE!!!!

[3 March 2004]

It must be nice being the daughter of Francis Ford Coppola. Having access to all of Hollywood's best. Having an inside track to the top producers and marketing people (and writers). And let's not forget having access to daddy's bank account. That way you are able to make a long drawn out droning film that rambles on for 2 hours about how your husband (Spike Jonze) isn't showing you enough attention (unlike daddy who showered me with attention!). That way I can tell the whole world how unimportant life is and how homely I am, oh and most importantly how smart I think I am. I can tell the world that nepotism really is a good thing and that because of our status as Hollywood's governing elite we are entitled to ramble on about nothing for 2 hours with a "script" that goes no where but I did let my (ex-) husband know how I feel, I mean like that is important (You see what it does to you when one rambles on about nothing?).

Yes, it must be nice.

Seinfeld (1989–1998)

The MOST overrated show in the history of television!!!

[16 November 2003]

Man, show thing was a darling with the critics but never really was a huge hit with TV viewers as a whole like some would have you believe. This show never had the devout broad-based viewership of say "Friends". And the reason why is primarily because the show's humor was geared more towards High-brow-elitist-urbanites with characters that you never really cared about (they were just mean self-indulgent folks). Where Friends, another ensemble show based in New York had characters that you cared about, hilarious almost every show, and even though it has primarily adult themes you still don't mind having your kids watch once and a while. Seinfeld: not so funny.

Las Vegas (2003–2008)

Don't bet on Las Vegas being around long!

[22 September 2003]

I could barely sit through this "TV show". The writing was forced and the acting soap opera-ish (which shouldn't come as a surprise since half the "stars" are from soaps.

The adopting of CSI-like camera moves and their hometown isn't going to save this loser. With all of the talented people in Hollywood and this is the best they could do? Did the producers think they hit the jackpot by setting the "story" in Las Vegas? CSI is not popular because it is set in "Las Vegas", they actually have something called a story to help move things along.

I give it 6-9 episodes (or however many NBC optioned) before this show folds.

Fire Down Below (1997)

Here is the problem.....

[12 January 2003]

If anybody (and I mean anybody) were playing the lead role except Steven Seagal people would think this is an OK movie. The story isn't half bad, the cinematography is excellent, Steven Seagal is bad. As usual. He is not an actor. He is a martial arts instructor, and he immediately stigmatizes any project he is involved with.

The other actors in this movie are quite good and their work should not be disparaged just because of the lamenting work of Mr. Seagal. Oh, and this is in no way Seagal's worst film (That would be "Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)").

Good Morning, Miami (2002–2004)

I give this show six weeks...

[27 September 2002]

...Or this first 13 episodes which ever comes first. You know I see average viewers all the time with TV or in the theatres, instantly reject a TV show or movie because either the story isn't fresh or just the whole concept seems tired and yet the so called professionals in LA can't seem to smell a loser a mile a away. Your average TV/Movie viewer is smarter than your average TV exec thinks and this show proves it. I felt like I have seen this show a dozen times already and it wasn't good any time I watched it. Tired jokes, tired actors, tired concept. Writers love writing about things they know about such as.. well writing. Writers writing a sitcom, movies, a morning show. And what is up with the Jewish guy and the Gentile chick thing (GMM, In-Laws, Inside Schwartz, Sienfeld, "name your prime-time sitcom with a Jewish male lead")? This must be some Jewish guy's fantasy or something?

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

The last gasp of a dying old man.

[3 September 2002]

To start I would like to say that I am a BIG Kubrick fan. "Full Metal Jacket" for instance blew Platoon out of the water.

The man was a genius. But with EWS what was he thinking. Selfindulgent (nothing new for Kubrick) and plodding (again nothing new).

But I must say this unlike other Kubrick flicks was bad for one main reason the Cinematography was just awful. Usually the trademark of a Kubrick picture is his magnificent use of color and contrast (2001, Clockwork, Barry Lyndon). This was just terrible. Tom Cruise's Black suit looks almost gray from all the grain in some shots and in others looks perfect indicating that a large amount of time passed between takes and some assistant was not keeping proper records or lighting. The acting was bad. Kubrick's films because of their pace don't lend themselves well to American actors who are used to quick pace MTV style editing.

Kubrick's swan song was terribly disappointing to a man who spent the bulk of his life reinventing cinema. One out of Four stars.