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isaackamp
Reviews
The Adventures of the Wilderness Family (1975)
Run!
This film is not a great family film, it is not even a mediocre family film. This film sucks! The plot, which makes up the entire movie (as there is no action, which would be fine if it had a good plot) is full of holes. This guy's daughter can't breathe in downtown Denver, so, instead of moving to the suburbs, the country, or other reasonable alternatives, he takes his entire family in to -guess- the wilderness. They survive by putting up a cabin in about 2 months, which appears to have its own electricity and heating, powered by..... um. The appearance of wildlife is also stupid. The family raises bear cubs to full-grown bears without ever needing to act like bears, protect themselves, or otherwise make sure the bears do not attack, but the film also demonizes wolves by showing them as mindless beasts that attack and kill for no reason, when in reality wolves are smarter and better towards humans than bears. Duh! I would go on, but I won't waste my time. Just... don't watch this movies. Period.
Thomas Jefferson: A Complex Life (1995)
Missed Opportunity, But Great To Listen To
This film could have been a great documentary- even the description on the back, which lists some of his life features, could have been turned into an enthralling film. But this film is as exciting as a history lesson with a monotonous teacher- about dates in history. This film turns a decent narration into a bad film because it is paired with low-resolution photographs, loud, repetitive music, and abysmal progression. This makes it extremely boring to watch, but great to listen to. If you want to watch this film, pick it up in the dollar bin at your local Walgreen's (thats where i got my copy ) and copy the audio. Then listen to it. Then, it will be very enjoyable.
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
A True Classic
When people talk about the "good old days" of film-making, they are usually misguided- the same years that brought "The Maltese Falcon" and "Casablanca" brought "Attack of The Killer Shrews" and "Robot Monster". But in this case, it is absolutely true. Many blockbusters today have thin plot, bad acting and great special effects. This film, while already very good with an above-average plot, good music, and wonderful editing and script, really excels in one thing: acting. Every character is perfectly believable through the entire movie, and occasionally (if the movie was filmed without a panning shot camera) you would probably think that is was real instead of simply acting.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
What is the purpose of this piece of trash?
This film is idiotic. Just idiotic. However, everyone in the film takes it seriously, and that makes it worse than laughably bad- that makes it pitiful.
Acting: Overacted. All the time.
Special Effects: great, if you like seeing jaggies in the slo-mo fight scenes or weird camera angles in the explosions.
Sound: cheesy "epic" music that sounds little better than random orchestra tuning sessions.
Camera/editing: editing is OK, but odd camera angles abound through the entire film- why do i have to look at some monster's double chin?
Plot: Stupid. A bunch of star-trek monster wannabes take over the earth to look for gold. (here come the plot holes). They haven't found fort knox in 1,000 years of habitation on earth. They are extremely smart, and their best insult is "rat-brain"? They call humans "man-animals" instead of the more logical term "manimals", and besides, if humans were considered on the same level, why not just say animals? Then a deviant genius human goes to the ruins of a city and finds working fighter jets from 1,000 years ago. All of them work and are even preloaded with missiles/etc. No rust or wear at all. Oh yeah, and the public records survived 1,000 years of mining, explosions, and bombardment in perfect condition. And, not only did a flight simulator exist in the city, conveniently located so that genius and his pals can train to fly those jets, it's also powered and working after 1,000 years, electrically supplied by .... umm......dunno. And, to boot, the primitive humans learn programming, computer use, hacking, piloting, weapon usage, and reading in 5 days. I'd love to see the school they went to. What luck for them, anyway. The ending is generic; good wins, happy happy etc.
Messages: Primitives can learn how to surpass thousands of years of advancement in the human species by sitting in a flight simulator. Oh yeah, and L Ron Hubbard is god.
overall, this film should be renamed and it would be very successful:
"How Not To Make A Drama/Adventure Film: Exhibit Vol. 1" i'd bet 1,000,000 copies
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Unebelievable
This film is a standard parody at the outset. But what makes it different is not only its constantly funny parody/farce, is that most all of the film is funny. Most comedies will take a few minutes to set up a joke, for the sake of advancing the plot. MPTHG brilliantly integrates funny into the setup as well, making no dull moments at all. This is the type of humor that Monty Python pioneered, the kind of comedy that makes you wonder if the writers went over every inch of script with a fine-toothed comb mumbling "how can i put a good joke in here...". Basically, see this movie. It is the basis for many, many parodies and social satires, (the revered English comedy Blackadder uses some technique similar to it) and is pretty much the Citizen Kane of comedy.
Transmorphers (2007)
May God Strike Down Everyone In This Movie, Amen.
This "sci-fi" "movie" is terrible in its "acting", "special effects", and "plot".
Plot- we sent out a space probe and some annoyed robots came over here to Earth and covered the sky with clouds. Military people wish to clear the clouds so that the sun will come out and the robots will go away and stop squishing people stupid enough the leave their shelters.
Acting- Wooden. "Oh. Best Friend. You have just died. I'm so sorry you're dead. (walks away)." Special Effects- the robots look like a cheap video game's enemies, and the "guns" shoot Frisbee-looking things instead of bullets or laser pulses.
Sound- The sound is out of sync. It gets slowly out of sync, peaking at about an hour in, and then slowly gets back in sync for the end.
In other words, this was either a prank or something that should not be considered a movie.
Either way, its fun to watch as long as you're making fun of it.
Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price (2005)
Good, but slightly biased
This film analyzes wal-mart's worst business practices and gives the truth about large corporations. It does leave out some important questions, but overall (if you cross-reference the statistics) it is a relatively accurate film. It has already received criticism from fanatical economic conservatives, and some extremist liberals as well. I have heard wal-mart defended as offering better conditions than other companies in third-world nations. True, but they are still not suitable. Just because something is less messed up doesn't mean its acceptable. And yes, this film exhibits a bias toward socialist health care, but come on here- the only real defense against a fair health care system is that the poor should somehow be able to always scrape themselves off the bottom of society and pay- not gonna happen. Anything less than that is idealistic.
House M.D. (2004)
Best
This show redefines "medical drama". After watching it, "similar" shows like ER, General Hospital, and the like look like complete c***. The protagonist is an intelligent anti-hero who is sometimes wrong and sometimes terribly mean and cynical, but can still deliver interesting drama, social commentary, and comedy, even making himself a lovable character later on, perhaps someone you yourself would like to have as a doctor. The acting is top-notch most of the time, the medical cases are interesting and mostly accurate, even if you can't understand medical jargon. The setting is always fresh and doesn't bore, and the main character's (played by Hugh Laurie) relationships with others are tactfully handled, keeping you interested in the particular relation between house and the other person, but not constantly present or overly emotional. There are occasionally touching moments as well , but I can't reveal any without spoiling the plot. The only fault is occasional medical inconsistencies and unnecessary tests, but they are rather rare.
The Ten Commandments (2007)
Insulting
This film is terrible. Why do religious films (not just Christian ones, also Jewish and Islamic ones) always have to be low-grade? As a Christian i am insulted that producers think they can trick me into buying a bad movie just because it says "moses" on the back. the plot line is stupid and barely conveys the actual telling of moses's life. the animation looks like a computer game- mind you, not the good games that look like pixar movies, but the bad ones that have as much animation as newsprint. The acting is truly wooden and occasionally garbled- "thank-you-god-for-this-oppurtunity" The score is decent at first but endlessly repetitive, the same songs play through the entire film. I'm all for films concerning issues, including religion, but this... stuff ...can't be tolerated. This film was a Christian "battlefield earth" in its incompetence.
Daddy Day Camp (2007)
Don't Bother
The first film in this series was okay, a lighthearted comedy that managed to appeal to different age groups. The sequel is so much different that... well, it really isn't a sequel. Every roll has been recast. The plot, instead of being humorous, is nonexistent. Eddie Murphy, who was a highlight of the original, isn't here. The children seem passive-aggressive, one moment having a heartfelt conversation and the next screaming at each other or breaking into a snack shack for ice cream. But the real problem is, this film is just... not funny. It tries to be, and several scenes, if they were in another film, would have been. However, the idiocy of the plot, stale acting, and psychologically disturbed children take away from a possible slapstick laugh. Of course, the adults are stupid too. Why have a mock-war with someone who vandalizes your camp? Why not just call the police? Great things to teach three-year-olds, alright. Other things they love to teach kids? Underlying stereotypes run rampant in the film. There are scenes where girls, "jocks", and "gamers", are all stereotyped, (albeit unfairly). If this film were actually funny, there would be nothing to complain about. But the stereotyping is actually serious, and comes off a little strangely. The only highlight of this film is the man who plays Cuba Gooding's father. Never seen him before, but being able to actually act well in this mockery of a movie awards him some merit.
Showdown at Area 51 (2007)
Idiotic
Alright... This movie has good special effects. Its fights are good. The acting is decent. That's about it. The story is thin, (something about aliens harvesting pollutants from Earth; to collect them they are going to blow us up. Why not just ask us? "They don't negotiate". Duh. Why have a renewable resource when you can be macho and blow stuff up?)the plot twists are about as exciting as watching grass grow, and the inaccuracies (pointed out in other comments) are glaring and decrease any sense of "it-could-happen-someday" suspense garnered from well-done movies like Aliens. I honestly don't care if it is a good "Saturday night film" (i.e., mindless violence). Why would I waste my life on it? Get this film if you are sick, extremely bored, you have no money or books, and your music player has no battery.