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Reviews
It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)
Its a Wildly-Dull Knife
Wow what a poor cringe-worthy watch this was. I can't imagine who would like this movie. Heavy-handed "pride/inclusive" agenda which added nothing to the plot or the character's depth. It was embarrassing. Even the great Justin Long couldn't save this amatuerish "Hallmark Horror" mess from the abyss. I can't imagine what Justin was thinking when he agreed to star in this. Plot hole after stupid plot hole. The writers and producers were counting on the audience to be morons and/or hoping that the far left out there just wouldn't care as long as they get a feel good over-dose of political correctness. This movie isn't scary, clever, funny, dramatic, we;;-acted, or even Cinematic. Every character is unlikeable and by the time the third act came around I was genuinely hoping they would all be killed. The movie should have never been made.
M3GAN (2022)
Enjoyable! Watch The Uncut Version
I watched the uncut version and still found it fairly tame for a horror movie so I'm sure the PG-13 version is really non-violent. Anyway I enjoyed this movie and despite the criticisms I went in with low expectations and got more than I hoped for. Some of the dialogue between Cody and Gemma feels a little weak and forced at times but overall the characters did a good job. I liked the scenes in the woods where M3gan chases the bully. I can't imagine this scene being as well done on a PG-13 level. Child's Play (1988) is probably a better story overall in terms of how the doll became evil to start with. None of this is really explained in M3gan except she takes her job to protect Caddy VERY seriously! Keep expectations low, dont over think it, and enjoy the ride. I was never bored with this one! Looking forward to a sequel.
Nope (2022)
Disappointing
I was really excited to see this movie and almost rented it before it became available for "free" on Peacock. Im glad I waited for it to stream. I new we were in trouble when the sister in the movie made her embarrassing first appearance. All the actors' characters were unlikeable and quite frankly the acting was poor throughout with the exception being the great Keith David. I gave the movie a 5 because I liked the idea of the movie and some of the special effects are adequate. The movie is too long, the characters beyond annoying, and ultimately its boring and somewhat forgettable. The characters act in ways normal people wouldn't. Huge disappointment as I enjoyed Get Out and Us.
The Wild Man: Skunk Ape (2021)
Low Budget Garbage
I tried this movie out seeing as it had a relatively high IMDB rating score of 5.7. I guess the producers and actors (and I use that term generously) are the ones giving this mess of a movie the high ratings. Everything in this movie is "budget". At times it comes off as a poor man's Blair Witch Project (but with a man in a very bad and obvious ape suit rather than a witch). The acting is abysmal, the music sounds like it was done by a kindergartener, and the story is so predictable. All of the characters are unlikeable and I was rooting for the swamp ape to kill them all but then it was evident that the swamp ape was even worse as an actor. Dont waste your time on this one. Just like Bigfoot himself, a good Bigfoot movie is very elusive.
The Requin (2022)
Better Than Sharknado For One Reason
Yes, this movie is bad but I gave it a high rating because it kept me entertained throughout. Sharknado is bad but has its charm because it knows its bad and is trying to be over the top. The Requin is bad, really cringe-worthy throughout, but I liked it because it took itself seriously! Again, it was so bad it was good and I enjoyed seeing what stupid decision, poor dialogue, or over the top acting the characters when come up with next. Wow, Clueless was a loooong time ago....still I enjoyed watching Alicia!
Horror in the High Desert (2021)
Nothing happens
I dont understand the high reviews for this one. The movie goes out of its way to pad the running time with useless exposition and boring dialogue. This could have easily been a 20 minute minute movie. First 15 minutes to set up the scene and the characters and the last 5 minutes to see the very mild "payoff". At the end. I gave it a "2" instead of a "1" for the one scene where you dont at first realize the deformed man is staring at the camera until he moves. Otherwise, this is a borefest.
Ratter (2015)
Much Better Than Expected
This is a low-budget "webcam" type movie. Its got some flaws but overall it was much better than expected. Never slow, it kept me hooked the whole time, was genuinely suspenseful, well-acted, and the the characters were realistic enough. Without giving anything away I was a little disappointed with the very ending but otherwise this is a solid watch for those who are fans of this type of genre. Keep your expectations low, turn out the lights, and enjoy!
Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey (2022)
Ignorance and Conformity Run Amuck
This series will anger you. Anger that such ignorance exists and how people, even in this day and age, will believe almost anything, no matter how stupid. Did they ever question simple things like "Why do these 'prophets' who are basically God, need prescription glasses to see?" Couldn't God at least correct the vision of these chosen ones? Are they really surprised when the first leader of the cult died? Do they know nothing about common sense? It would be bad enough if this were just a few people with Schizophrenia or some other mental condition....but no, these are thousands of people who at least on the surface appear capable of functioning. VERY scary and I have very little sympathy for the "victims" in this nightmare. If there is a higher power no doubt it hates ignorance...and these people are at the absolute bottom of the intellectual gene pool.
Jackass Forever (2022)
Least Funny of The Series
This is easily the least funny of the the Jackass series. There are a few genuine laughs but lot of the magic is gone. The stunts are uninspired and the dynamic isnt the same as it was in previous JA movies. Its not just that they are older. The new cast members aren't funny, Bam and others are missed, but the biggest problem is in the writing. The stunts here are gross and dangerous as usual but overall lack the funny and witty aspects that made JA great. I wound up fast-forwarding through parts of this as the action was either slow or boring.
El páramo (2021)
Not Good - Not Awful
This movie had good acting, good cinematography, decent music, and the makings of a good story. Unfortunately the "story" is all sizzle without the steak. The story is confusing, never resolves in a satisfying way, and leaves the viewer trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It wants to create mystery like The VVitch but is nowhere near the sophistication in terms of writing and layers that the VVitch has going for it. If the VVitch is a 10 this is only half as good and trust me Im being generous. One other thing of annoyance is the way the characters, especially Diego, are ALWAYS so non-compliant when told to do something. The boy Diego never listens to his mom when she tells him to do something. He never listens to his dad. The mom doesn't listen to the dad or the son. The dad doesnt listen to the mom or the son. This constant and stupid defiance is exhausting. I hate people that don't listen! Anyways its worth a watch but keep expectations LOW.
Pig (2021)
Decent acting but boring and mundane
Why would anyone think viewers care about pigs, chefs, truffles, etc. The characters talk about these things as if they are the most important things in the world. Some good acting but overall Ill never watch this again...boring and depressing.
La nuée (2020)
Worth a Watch But Frustratingly A Missed Opportunity
I liked this movie and recommend it as it is something "different" and keeps your interest throughout. It's a good movie but misses being a great movie by some lazy writing and missed opportunities. There are several scenes that don't make sense (like the final scene which I won't spoil any further). Had they spent a little more time "punching up" the script and thinking through some of the killings to build more suspense this movie would be a classic. All the main story elements are there but the execution is off. Good actors, decent special effects. It feels like they ran out of budget or time or something and we are left with an unsatisfying ending. A big budget remake with a more skilled director and producer would be awesome.
The Ice Road (2021)
Predictable, Icy, Mess of A Movie
- No likable characters
- Poorly written
- Cheesy effects
- Stereotypes abound
- Ridiculous plot
- Illogical characters
- Liam Neeson shouldn't need money this bad.
Stowaway (2021)
Good Idea - Poor Execution
I liked the premise of this movie but unfortunately the execution was poor. They never explain if the guy stowed away on purpose or by accident. The movie has a rushed and unsatisfying end. Before tending I was thinking this movie isn't as bad as some of the reviews but I dont feel as strongly now. All that said, the movie did keep my interest and I watched it at 1.25 speed which helped a lot. Some cool effects and an interesting dilemma for a plot but again it didn't have the screenplay to pull it off. Worth a watch but keep expectations low.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Great Concept - Poor Execution
There is a reason this movie isn't more popular. Such a great concept for a movie - a documentary on a serial killer like we see in the classic 80's movies! However, this film missed a golden opportunity with poor writing and execution. Its annoying to watch as you can kinda see how great it could of been. Its also slow at times, a bit confusing, and just doesn't deliver like it could have. Maybe someone will do a reboot of this with a stronger, neater script and a bigger budget.
Hubie Halloween (2020)
Unwatchable
I like most Adam Sandler movies and keep my perspective when watching one of his movies. We expect it to be stupid but funny. Unfortunately this movie is so bad its almost unwatchable. Its not funny. I only slightly chuckled at the old woman's inappropriate T-shirts but that was about it. I don't get the relatively positive and good reviews for this mess. Its so boring and poorly written, acted, and executed. Makes a movie like "Joe Dirt" seem like Citizen Kane in comparison. I can't understand who the audience is for this mess. Little kids won't get it, teens will find it lame, adults will be bored. Anyway I defy anyone to sit through this who disaster.
Without a Trace (1983)
An Outstanding Drama
Anyone with a heart will be absorbed by this movie. its so well acted and written. Kate Nelligan and Judd Hirsch at their finest. This movie is underrated.
Bone Tomahawk (2015)
So slow...a missed opportunity
This is not a bad movie in terms of script idea and plot. Its clearly made with a huge budget, fine actors, etc. The problem is it's boring. The first hour should have been condensed into 20 minutes. Needless scenes. Scenes that are way too long. Small build ups to nothing. Very little "happens" through out and it's tedious. The acting is good but they are tasked with lifeless dialogue. The last 40 minutes of this endless movie get a bit better but by that time I didn't care and was ready for it to be over. YMMV but as much as I love Kurt Russel this movie doesn't deserve the high ratings it is receiving. Like The Hateful Eight...needlessly slow and forgetful.
The Wrong Missy (2020)
So Stupid But I Liked It
Looking for something brainless and so stupid it's funny? You've come to the right place! It falls off the rails here in there but I couldn't help but like this movie. The lead actress who plays the wrong missy was funny and had an endearing quality. David Spade shows that his acting chops haven't gotten any better since Tommy Boy and thats a good thing! Dont over-think this one, just kick back and enjoy!
Scare Package (2019)
Pretty Bad - I couldn't make it through
The dialogue is exhaustingly stupid and just not funny. Most of the segments are really poorly written and overall this movie is a bit of a mess. I gave it two stars, instead of one, because some of the practical effects are well-done. I made it through to the first hour before bailing out...kept hoping it would get better and it never did.
Getting Married (1978)
Excellent Little Movie!
I gave this movie 10 stars not because I think it should win an academy award but because its a light, fun, and romantic movie that made me feel good when I first saw it as a pre-teen. Also of note is that Richard Thomas and Bess Armstrong would team up again in the amazing HBO produced play of Barefoot In the Park - I highly recommend. This movie is a pre-curser to their chemistry!
Barefoot in the Park (1982)
Amazingly well acted, funny, and charming
I remember first seeing this when I was 14-15 years old. Fell in love with Bess Armstrong immediately! The whole cast is strong and I prefer this version much more than the movie with Jane Fonda. Rewatching this lately makes me feel nostalgic for the early-80s and my early teen years. A wonderful performance!
W glebi lasu (2020)
Slow, lots of fluff, I bailed out!
I wanted to like this series but it is so slow and boring I bailed out after the first episode. I just never made a connection with any of the characters and hard a hard time concentrating...its so slow my mind would wander and eventually I stopped caring.
Zulu Dawn (1979)
Slow and Boring
I wanted to like this movie but its SO slow and boring that I can't give it a favorable review. Found myself fast forwarding A LOT! So many scenes where nothing happens.
ClownDoll (2019)
Not very good but...
...not completely unwatchable either. Its got a "cheap" feel to it. Poorly written script (like why in the hell would she buy the doll in the first place?). The acting feels forced and wooden. None of the characters have any depth and have not been well thought out. The subplot of her being pregnant with her step brothers child is lame. Worse, the clown is just not scary. Its clearly a man dressed in a clown suit pretending to be a doll. It's stupid. I made it all the way through and there were a coupe of decent practical effects but overall this is poorly done. Look elsewhere for clown scares.