Retrostudious Reviews

The Killer (2023)

Cliche, bland characters and predictable

[5/10 · 24 January 2024]

I was disappointed that it went down a played out revenge plot. I was hoping with him trusting no one that it became a paranoid chase film where he's escaping suspected attackers or taking people out that turn out to be innocent and then it attracts real attention. So he thinks he's being hunted for his mistake but he's actually the villain and it's the authorities/interpol are after him for his violent crimes and the trail of blood he left after leaving Paris.

The biggest problem is with this, I felt nothing from the characters and the pseudo intellectual edgelord narration was a massive negative too but it was competently shot and put together. The surveillance scenes were great and were the only thing that kept me from rating it lower but everything else lacked personality. Fassbender felt like a fps main character like you were having to plant your personality on him which is great for gaming but doesn't work for film. He was a lead with no redeeming qualities, so you never cared for his success by the end of the film.

If anything I felt nothing from this film, it was middle of the road, mediocre and lacking personality.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Jim deserved better!

[5/10 · 23 January 2024]

So this is what happens when you combine Illumination Entertainment's superannuated tween pop culture-obsessed storytelling with Paul Feig's poor grasp of humour.

At times, the majority of the characters are often loud and obnoxius, as if that's the punchline, which just falls flat and makes for nauseating viewing. I don't know what it is about most modern kids films, but for the last 20 years they have relied on the same tropes that have characters following contemporary dance trends, i.e., flossing, using "flash in the pan" pop music, and making gags about topical things that are only relevant for that time and place. Unfortunately, this ages these films like milk, and when you catch them on television a decade later, they lose that timeless quality that Pixar, Don Bluth and Disney once mastered.

The only film's saving grace is Jim Carrey, who hits his mark and pulls out a performance not too dissimilar to when he played The Riddler in Batman Forever. He totally hams it up, has all the best dialogue, and just looks like he's having the time of his life.

I watched to see Jim Carrey's "last film", it wasn't the send off he deserved.

Nimona (2023)

Hamfisted message

[3/10 · 7 January 2024]

It's a shame that it has such a hamfisted approach to its subject. Subtext seems to be all but dead in modern screenwriting; everything is so insultingly obvious and force-fed to the viewer.

The fact that eight writers brought this to life and there's no unique voice amongst them, barring the author of the source material, is evident. The humour doesn't really land and seems to be meme or tik-tok humour that rarely invokes a laugh. There are some moments that are plagarised from better films, but that is true of most films, as modern writers seem to lack life experience and base their ideas on things they've seen in other films rather than what they've lived. The fact that Chloe Grace-Moretz has a scene causing chaos while accompanied by the sound of The Dickies' Banana Splits is not lost on me, or I can imagine other Kickass fans.

I'll give it credit where it's due, and the flashback montage has a moment of beauty that has you really caring for the protagonist, but it comes too late in the film, where at 1 hour and 10 minutes you've had to put up with a very snarky and annoying character that lacks any sort of humble quality. In fact most of the characters are quite bland and one dimensional barring the title character, whether this was an intentional choice to make the main character stand out from the rest but it hurts the story. The villains are a bunch of airhead himbos that inhabit the very worst of "bro culture." Overall I found it to be very poor and just not for me.

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Kaiju as it was intended.

[9/10 · 16 December 2023]

Fantastic film, it caught me off guard for how good it actually was, it far exceeded expectations. No one does Kaiju better than Japan, every Hollywood Kaiju film always falls short and that's because human drama is always last to spectacle in Hollywood Kaiju.

This film has heart and you really care about the characters and their journeys. It goes back to the route of what the original Godzilla was about as a fine parable for post World War II trauma with the characters attempting to rebuild and move on. Godzilla standing in for that ominous looming nuclear threat that haunts their everyday lives, a living nightmare that has them reliving their trauma.

Godzilla didn't oversaturate the film or barely feature, the monster was perfectly utilised as the threat it was. I can see this being the sleeper hit of the year.

RRR (2022)

Defies Science and Logic but it's Fun!

[8/10 · 21 February 2023]

It's amazing how Indian cinema can make what I would call negatives in Western cinema really entertaining. Maybe they get the balance right by going balls-to-the-wall with the over-the-top moments. Rather than trying to be realistic with it, they embrace the madness. Western cinema makes the mistake of portraying realism but then failing by not thoroughly researching their subject or understanding basic physics. Indian cinema, on the other hand, tells physics and logical storytelling to sod off.

This is a world where a one-man army with the strength of 20 men can take on a rioting crowd with many aggressors, where a man can take down and trap a tiger with sheer strength and will that defies impossible odds, and where dance numbers and storybeats appear without any rational as to why they are happening. This is RRR, and I embrace its insanity.

Early Summer (1951)

Most soothing film I've ever seen

[8/10 · 8 January 2023]

One of the most soothing and calming films I've ever watched to date.

The characters radiate optimism, even in the face of adversity and the challenges of everyday life.

I can't help but also feel that like Early Spring it's tinged with sadness like the characters have lost something once the status quo has been disrupted.

Both films ending on a sad note which is such a juxtaposition to Western Cinema where the status quo is often restored.

It's as if growth and change is a negative event and this may be in part due to the high uncertainty avoidance culture of Japan where they feel threatened by uncertainty.

Troll (2022)

Cliche Monster flick, void of originality

[2/10 · 21 December 2022]

A Laura Dern type, a Stephen Amell type and a Randall Park type headed off into the mountain to look for Trolls.

What they didn't realise whilst adventuring forth as they hit every monster movie cliche with zero irony, there was an independent film made in Norway that told this story 12 years prior.

That film did a lot better job of delving into the Scandinavian mythology without sacrificing it's integrity. Troll however felt like a Roland Emmerich monster movie that fell victim to all the typical Monster vs Military and Scientists tropes that seem to plague every Hollywood monster movie.

So 12 years ago there was film called Troll Hunter and it's a far better film that I recommend over this one.

The Green Knight (2021)

Where have all the good guys gone?

[6/10 · 15 November 2022]

It's a good film, but modern filmmakers seem a little too obsessed with deconstructing characters and de-romanticising the hero's journey, and it's starting to become a cliche that is overplayed and almost insulting to the audience. The filmmakers seem to think that by making all the protagonists anti-heroes who are not as heroic as we think that it's intelligent storytelling, but it really isn't.

I find myself regularly asking, "Where have all the good guys gone?" and "why isn't there romance in films anymore?"

Is it a little too much to ask for a righteous protagonist and a little love in films?

The modern landscape of cynical filmmaking that creates nihilistic stories has become very tedious.

Boiling Point (1990)

The Most Beat Takeshi film in all his Filmography.

[9/10 · 8 August 2022]

I watched this three times before I wrote my review as I didn't know what to make of it but I absolutely loved it.

It is a bizarre story that has some great moments of humour. It feels like the most Beat Takeshi film of all his films as it features some ideas that later become tropes in his later films such as baseball, the yakuza getting really upset over petty misdemeanors, sudden bursts of violence and loud brash characters facing instant karma for their obnoxiousness.

I don't know why but in many ways it reminds me of a Richard Linklater film with it's long take static shots and the loose style and openess of it's narrative.

Also the troubled youth tranferring to adulthood, guided by a very flawed adult has a very distinct parrallel to Linklater as well.

Violent Cop (1989)

Beat Takeshi's directorial debut

[8/10 · 8 August 2022]

A great watch. Violent, compelling and quite disturbing at times but it feels real and doesn't shy away from the frightening brutality of the criminal world.

Beat Takeshi spends a good chunk of the film slapping people around and I'm here for it.

Prey (I) (2022)

Exceeded expectations

[6/10 · 7 August 2022]

Its a good addition to the Predator canon. I can actually say now that there is more than one good Predator film.

A solidly competent film that is somewhat generic but I enjoyed it.

The only thing that really bugged me was the use of the flintlock pistol from the Predator 2 and the cringey dialogue call back with "If it bleeds we can kill it." The recent trend of squeezing the 'member berries for referential nostalgia is really grating and this is not the worst offender but its really not necessary and about as welcome as the Wilhelm scream.

Gamera vs. Guiron (1969)

Hansel & Gretel in Kaiju Camoflage

[7/10 · 25 July 2022]

This is great theres so much to like about this.

Gamera doing gymnastics is the whole reason I started watching this film series.

He has his own theme song now which accompanies a terrific moment where Gamera is flying in space with his rocket legs whilst looking out for 2 boys and ensuring their safety.

Guiron is such a savage too that looks like a mutated street shark who makes short work of a Space Gyaos. Gamera more child friendly than ever tries to save the boys from Space Cannibals. However Guiron is brought in to stop him, a great bloody battles ensues featuring shirukens, fire breath and Olympic level gymnastics from a tortoise.

It even ends with a message that everyone can benefit from "Make Earth free of Wars and Traffic Accidents."

Gamera vs. Viras (1968)

The Roger Moore of Gamera films

[4/10 · 24 July 2022]

This film is such a shift in tone from the previous 3 films. It's embraced the comical aspects to such an extent it feels more like a Carry On film. In a similar vein to Bond where the first 3 films are the Gamera equivalent to Sean Connery. Gamera vs. Viras goes full on Roger Moore with it's wacky antics.

The worst part of this film is that so much of it is taken up with re-used footage recapping Gamera's previous battles, a huge chunk of runtime for an 81 minute film. This choice felt really unnecessary as it impacts the overall flow of the film. Its a shame considering this is the first time they introduce a really engaging and well developed human character in the form Masao whose a lovable mischievous tech genius. Its such a missed opportunity on the film makers part as this could have been truly brilliant.

Gamera vs. Gyaos (1967)

Shane but with a Giant Space Tortoise

[5/10 · 20 July 2022]

There seems to a pattern in these Gamera vs films. Man awakens new monster by their own greed or quest for power.

Gamera shows up to fight new threat but fails and has to soon retreat to recover. A team of scientists/military personnel connoct a ridiculous plan that will somehow stop the monster as they've intentifed a weakness.

The humans' plan seems to work briefly but then fails through no fault of their own. The monster wreaks havoc and all hope is lost, Gamera comes back at full strength and kicks the monster's arse.

It's a very entertaining film and often laughably ridiculous, my favourite part is when the kid from Up leads a greasy reporter to his death and is in immediate peril but then is overjoyed as he is quickly saved by the "child friendly" rocket fueled flying tortoise.

Gamera even flies off into the sunset like a traditional Western hero. It even ends like Shane with the kid waving him off in the same vein.

Gamera vs. Barugon (1966)

Good adventure film and Gamera Cameos

[6/10 · 16 July 2022]

This is fun! The first 40 minutes build mystery and intrigue and it feels more like a sci-fi TV adventure akin to Star Trek: OS or Land of the Giants.

It deals more in the human drama than in the monster battles which is probably a saving grace as it minimises it's weaknesses.

The effects look great for the most part but whenever it has a close up of Barugan, the choice of eyes make it the derpiest looking thing I've ever seen. A solid story overall but the fight scenes don't deliver and feel painful at times with the constant shrieking of Barugon.

To be honest Gamera is in it so little, you could have just edited Gamera's scenes out and made a film about Barugon; and there would have very little difference on the outcome of the film.

Gamera: The Giant Monster (1964)

Good Wholesome Kaiju Family Fun

[6/10 · 16 July 2022]

This is hilarious and so much fun. It works and it shouldn't and maybe its because the actors believe their parts no matter what ridiculous circumstances they have to navigate as it's genuinely real for their characters

The minitures are fantastic, the guy in the turtle suit is brilliant and when Gamera turns itself into catherine wheel while the Japanase army mocked it, I just totally lost it.

The runtime makes for a nice, short and concise film. I'm glad it is short as well as a lot of monster flicks tend to suffer from being bloated once they creep up to the 2 hour mark.

Freaks (2018)

Derivative and Uninspiring

[5/10 · 7 July 2022]

A derivative indy take on X-men that delivers it's message in a more clunky and on the nose fashion.

It has some of the worst cinematography I've seen in recent times, the camera operator should really invest in a decent pair of legs or rent a dolly if they want movement in their scenes. A lot of the scenes are done with a loose hand camera style that has a documentary/found footage effect. This really doesn't work at times and comes across as amateur and cheap.

I can imagine 15 years ago this would have been a fun and novel concept. Now I'm at a point of burnout with stories about exceptional people and their gifts, I just want stories about ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances.

Django & Django (2021)

Informative even if Tarantino makes it more about himself than his subject

[7/10 · 5 July 2022]

A really self-indulgent piece where the line is kind of blurred between Tarantino celebrating Corbucci and celebrating himself for being a fan of Corbucci.

It's almost like a hipster at a gig smirking that he heard the band first but then decides to get up and play his own songs in the middle of their set.

It was an enjoyable documentary but Tarantino took the shine away from it a little.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

Now their failure is complete.

[3/10 · 1 July 2022]

I wanted to enjoy this, I really did. However I'm starting to abhor what Star Wars has become.

It started off so promising and crashed and burned without offering a single new insight.

There are so many illogical fallicies with the whole series, Obi-Wan should have told Bail Organa to go swivel as Bail failed in his mission to protect Leia on a planet he ran where there were many guards to protect her. Thus enforcing Obi-Wan into action and leaving Luke exposed with no real protection.

The series then meandered on with what felt like at least 4 filler episodes, during which we learned Obi-Wan can't keep his cover, he can't walk around a gate exposed at both sides and thinks walking through a hangar as a 4 legged hunchback is a good way of not being noticed by Imperials hunting for you; so much for wise old Obi-Wan.

We also learn Leia is suddenly a tech genius which was never shown when the Millennium Falcon had its numerous issues and she later has no memory of Obi-Wan come a New Hope, figure that one out.

Then we get onto Reva, a character that tries to torture a child for information despite knowing this child has had no involvement with this underground movement as Reva had set up the kidnapping.

Then later it turns out Reva is working against Vader because he killed Jedi and younglings. So in order to enact out her revenge and get close to Vader she kills Jedi and younglings...???

Anyway Reva allegedly "redeems" herself in the last episode; saving a child by not deciding to go through with their murder because now attempted murder is suddenly an admiral trait and heroic now.

Also anyone notice how Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru hold their own against a very dangerous and skilled Inquisitor but can't fend off Stormtroopers that can't shoot for toffee. I was stunned considering it's only 9 years between this and A New Hope.

I will say there were flickers of potential like Vader brutalising Obi Wan and being such a vicious tyrant in a few scenes but at the same time he failed to finish off Reva which seemed really out of step with the character. Also the lightsaber battles felt forced and poorly blocked in each encounter Vader had with Obi-Wan. On top of that the flashback scenes making Hayden look like an old man pretending to be a younger man felt a bit sad to see really.

Qui Gon turning up at the end was great but why couldn't we have started with that and had Qui Gon training Obi Wan to be one with the living force as the overarching story and eventually coming to blows with Vader without the silly kidnapping angle.

Instead what we got was repeated remnants of Episode III with no further character development and more plots holes that further muddy up the lore.

Unfortunately this series fails to offer any new insights into the characters that we didn't previously know.

Its a very badly written tale that had characters acting against their own best interests and the plot was quite choppy at times but this all made sense when I looked at the calibre of the writers and their previous projects.

It's sad to see Star Wars failing on such a level that with each new Star Wars story brought to screen, it becomes more watered down and the prequels suddenly seem better in comparison.

Ashes of Time (1994)

Christopher Doyle shines as the real star of the film.

[7/10 · 30 June 2022]

"I once took an oath that if I ever saw this man again, I'd kill him. But I didn't follow through. Because by the time we met again, I could no longer see."

There's something quite poetic about Wong Kar Wai's films, often characters reflecting on a single moment or a lost chance they had never taken. In fact Chungking Express' first half was all about that and this is no different, characters blaming themselves for chosing the wrong path.

The real star of this film is Christopher Doyle's cinematography, its so tightly framed which is unusual but you can see the radiant brilliance shine through that would become more notable in his later films, even if the colours have been altered from the original version. It's almost like a vivid fever dream in this film.

There's always a strong sense of entrapment with the consistent close ups and the wicker shadows that make the characters often appear to be caged and the viewer is trapped with them.

Overall the story is fragmented and narratively challenging but it's a visual feast that ravages the senses.

Fireworks (1997)

Shades of McQueen and Scorsese

[9/10 · 21 June 2022]

Hana-bi is cinema in it's rawest form. At times you feel like a fly on the wall observer just caught in a series of moments swinging from the calm but beautiful mundane to sudden bursts of violence.

The film never feels in any rush which I like as it encapsulates the mindset of the main character. Beat Takeshi's performance has an understated less is more approach. He reminds me of Steve McQueen in that he's quiet, cool and stoic; his reactions to others say more than dialogue ever could.

The character seems to be caught in a world of violence and a love for his wife, making the most of the time they have left together.

The best way I can put it, it's Scorsese as if it was directed by Terence Malick.

Spree (2020)

Gen Z Serial Killer Satire

[7/10 · 18 June 2022]

This film is surprisingly good. All the characters are deplorable narcissists which pretty much sums up that whole spectrum of the internet and it makes sense that one of 'em would go to the darkest depths for likes to get the attention they crave.

Joe Keery absolutely nails it as a whiney self absorbed vlogger; he loathes in self-pity and celebrates at the smallest win in all his efforts for likes and subcribers.

It's a hyper satirical mirror reflection of the current culture of young vloggers that have no skills or have anything worthwhile to say that will do anything to go viral even if it's at a detriment to other people.

Boss Level (2020)

Fun but left hanging.

[6/10 · 17 June 2022]

It wasn't high art by any means but it was fun and I had a laugh watching it.

The ambiguous ending let it down massively and prevented me from rating it higher as it felt unresolved and didn't feel like a complete story.

This being a major problem I have with most modern films where they either don't know how to end their film and leave it hanging with an incomplete story or they pass a suitable end point and just keep going for another 20 minutes beyond the climax of the film and it fizzles out to zero fanfare.

High Plains Drifter (1973)

Haunting Provocative Western

[9/10 · 14 June 2022]

From beautiful vistas to the sweat on the brow of minor characters.

It has all the flair and makings of a Sergio Leone spaghetti Western.

At times the main character has an almost ethereal presence; no name, no past, just riding the haunting empty landscape to terrorise those who cross him.

At other times you see his darker nature and realise he has all trappings of a man who has the disposition to be cruel and unlawful.

Unlike Leone's "Man with No Name", this man is no hero and looks out for his own best interest, often to the detriment of the town he's protecting. That's not to say he's completely irredeemable as there is a sense of twisted virtue being the only level headed character amongst the insane world he inhabits.

However I think it works as a Post-Vietnam parable wherein the protagonists no longer just operate as lawful men and are shown to indulge in some immoral vices in a lawless world, leaving the viewer to question 'how honourable are our heroes?'

This film isn't only just a great Western that leaves you thinking about it long after it's over but it was the early signs of Clint Eastwood as a masterful auteur that really understood his craft.

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

Spirtual sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

[6/10 · 14 June 2022]

A post modern reflection on a classic cartoon series that had some great moments.

I liked that it was self-aware with Disney surprisingly not being afraid to poke fun at themselves as well as their audience and competitors.

It was a mad mixture of live action and many styles of animation that seemed to blend quite well within it's established universe.

The surprises and twists that came with the story were quite unpredictable at times which managed to keep myself engaged as a viewer.

All in all a fun film and you will never look at Peter Pan the same way again.