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Hostel (2005)
4/10
This is a movie that had a lot of potential...
30 April 2006
Unfortunately, it didn't live up to its potential. Unsatisfactory, predictable. I'm not a major fan of gore, although I need not have worried about there being too much gore in this film: it's mostly implied. There are buckets of stage blood, but not necessarily more than was used in "Seed Of Chucky". I saw where someone suggested that "Hostel" might be better classified as an action-thriller, and I would say that's probably true. It just doesn't measure up as a "horror" flick. Not that the potential wasn't there... Still though, it's better than Plan 9, or Manos. I guess I'd have to say it's worth watching if the only other options are "Degrassi" on Nick, or "Oprah After The Show". Yawn.
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Impulse (1984)
9/10
This is a film that can leave a lasting impression...
19 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I think that that creator(s) of this film's concept deserves a lot more accolades than they probably ever received. It isn't an Oscar caliber film of course, but, at least for me, this film has left a lasting impression since I first saw it back in 1984 (in the theatre).

I don't think this is (and hope it isn't) a spoiler, but: imagine acting on your impulses. Doing the first thought that pops into your head, saying the first words on your lips... No restraint, no conscious, nothing holding you back from saying or doing the things that, as intelligent adults, we know we shouldn't actually say or do. If anything, this film only scratches the surface - It doesn't go as far as it could go.

In a time when Hollywood seems obsessed with remaking older "classics" to try and cash in on today, wouldn't it be nice to see them remake an older film of modest success, for the sake of taking it to the next level? A bit further, or even to explore what the original crew didn't, wouldn't or couldn't deal with 20 years ago?

That's just my opinion anyway. :o)
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10/10
If you don't watch this every year on Turkey Day - You should!
19 November 2005
I love this movie - Full of quirky characters, awkward situations, family politics, drunken relatives - Multi-generational dysfunction! Fun, believable,and poignant. The entire casts absolutely chew up their parts... Holly Hunter is utterly put-upon. Anne Bancroft is a Mom holding the whole family (and day) together by just her fingernails- Charles Durning plays a daffy (but wise) Dad. The low-point of all of our OWN Thanksgiving Day holidays are optimized by the scene when Claudia first arrives at home, and is picked up at the airport by her Mother and Father. Her Mother has given her a "loaner" coat to wear because she's lost her own - Stuck in traffic, she spots a person from her earlier flight, in the backseat of his Mother and Father's car and they share a million words in a single moment as they make eye contact and realize the hell has just begun. Oscar material? No. But definitely worth watching (maybe even every year like I do)!
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Midnight Lace (1960)
happily, more than I expected!
14 August 2004
I just caught this film on TCM (after midnight, of course), and I have to say: WOW. What seemed to me to be just another Doris Day vehicle, turned out to be a taught, interesting mystery!

Doris is a woman being stalked by a fiend... her husband, her aunt, her friends, all try to be supportive, despite that Doris can`t seem to prove that she`s being stalked. Doris becomes increasingly frantic, as it slowly appears that she might just be a woman on the edge, and merely imagined her stalking.

It has the best kind of ending: You`ll think you`ve solved it before the end, then second guess yourself and change your mind, only to be surprised yet again at the final outcome of the film! I love a movie that makes me fool myself!

This is Doris playing a scared, frustrated wife, very dramatic, very upset, but not TOO upset, scared or frantic. No comedy (Myrna Loy gets all the funny lines), but Doris plays it realistically (or at least as realistically as any role could be played in 1960). She didn`t receive an Oscar nod for this, but in my opinion, she sure should have!!
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9/10
Bizarre, funny, definitely worth a watch!
22 April 2004
This is a fun little peculiar film! A dime-store hood named Teddy (Johnathon Schaech) from NYC, flees the mob and a psychotic, gun-toting, stripper girlfriend for Austrailia; while crossing the Outback, he meets and seduced by Angie, who knocks him out, drugs him, and brings him to her Outback hometown ("Woop-Woop") of 50 strange friends and relatives.

Woop-Woop is a town filled with crazies, hippies, and grandparents (folks long forgotten by society when their asbestos mine is closed). The locals never leave: they package dog-food made from Kangaroos for a living, and entertain themselves with Rodgers & Hammerstein soundtracks, and a nightly viewings of classic Hollywood musicals.

The "King" of Woop-Woop is Angie's Dad (Rod Taylor... Yes, THAT Rod Taylor). Teddy isn't ready to settle down in Woop-Woop, and quickly begins to challenge Daddio (Rod Taylor). It's a peculiar film, full of colorful characters, full of subtle detail.

I've seen this film over and over and always find something new with each viewing. Three special bonuses: (1) a cameo by TV's Tina Louise, (2) ultra-handsome Johnathon Schaech in various stages of dress & undress (!!), and (3) an innocent film-clip and line of dialogue from the classic film, The Sound Of Music, that will never sound innocent to you again... It isn't really dirty, but when a Nun says it, I promise you'll giggle like a 4th grader!! You'll never look at Julie Andrews the same way again!

Welcome to Woop-Woop... You'll be glad you came!
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Scorcher (I) (2002)
3/10
The brink of disaster, time running out...
16 March 2004
On the brink of disaster, with time running out, the fate of the world rests in the determined hands of a crack military unit, and a scientist with a plan that's risky, but just might save the world.

The soldiers are led by a handsome young colonel, whose daughter has been hijacked by a madman. Thrown in for sexual tension, and a woman's touch, is the scientist's daughter, reknowned in her own right, but with a chip on her shoulder because she thinks her father cared more for science than for her. Rutger Hauer, as the President of the United States, wrings his hands and worries with real flair.

This is strictly formula, the same you've seen in "Deep Impact", "The Core", and "Armagaeddon" (and those are the variations just from the last few years). This is a largely unknown cast, less John Rhys-Davies, Rutger Hauer, and the actor who played "Zale" on TV's M*A*S*H.

The story is stale, but still this is not an awful film; the actors turn in, in my opinion, as good a performance as could be derived from the material. If you're like me, and you're faced with a choice between re-runs of "Full House" and "Scorched" at 2 o'clock in the morning, pick this film. The nuclear annihilation of Los Angeles has got to be more entertaining than those horrible twin girls!
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9/10
What are your neighbors doing?!
11 March 2004
This is a nice little movie... Along the lines of Showtime's (I think), "The Apartment Complex" - And yet, while still the story lines are different than what John Q Public would consider normal, they are still conceivably quite normal.

It's a fun criss-crossing of story-lines and interactions, and one genuinely feels for the central character (Clark) as he faces the limitations of child-stardom.

By the end, you'll be smirking at the least, maybe even laughing out loud... Isn't that what a good dark comedy is all about?

Plus, I thought Patrick Labyorteaux was a cutie way back in his Heathers' days, and with a few more years (and maybe an extra 10 lbs), I think he's even more cute now! He might only have been brawny in Heathers, but he's bright (and charitable - check his profile on IMDB) too! Extra points for Patrick! ;o)
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1/10
THIS star should have been aborted.
6 December 2003
This film is a huge steaming pile.

I have no idea why anyone felt that the Garland/Mason version needed to be redone, nor why Striesand would have been a first choice to star.

For that matter, I have no idea why our people (Gay Americans) tend largely to regard Striesand as some kind of treasure. At least in my opinion, she had peaked professionally with with Funny Girl, and Bogdanovich's What's Up Doc.

Do yourself a favor and rent the Judy classic, or even the original (a fine film in its own right), but please, Please, PLEASE skip this stinkpot!
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Submerged (2000)
2/10
It's more Crapmerged...
1 December 2003
Okay, I just had to sound off on this one... Like a tremendous mental-gimp, I've just sat through this film in its entirety.

You'll note that the trivia section of IMDB points out that portions of the raising of the 747 were "borrowed" from Airport 1977. This really doesn't scratch the surface... Virtually all exterior shots of the plane skimming the ocean, landing in, sinking, and even the at-rest shots are borrowed from Airport '77. All of the "raising" shots are pulled from '77, including most of the interior flooding clips, with the exception of Dennis Weaver's drowning. I couldn't help but wonder if Olivia Dehavilland might come floating by at any moment, or maybe a "dead" Tom Sullivan. Another eye-roller: Dennis Weaver's name in this film is Stevens, which is to compensate for the fact that Airport '77's plane is owned by the Stevens Corporation (headed by Jimmie Stewart of course).

This is a veritable calvalcade of actors who don't work much, or at least haven't worked in a while, which might have been the first clue that it was going to be a real stinker.

I've rated this film a 2 - It's quite worthy of a "1", but if this film can't offer any other redeeming quality, at least somebody helped Coolio, Max Caulfield, Nicolle Eggert, and Dennis Weaver make their car payments that month!
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Xanadu (1980)
10/10
In Xanadu did Kublai Khan a crappy (but FABULOUS) film decree...
3 October 2003
Okay, alright, fine... This is an awful movie. Olivia sings and skates and skates and sings, and poor Gene Kelly dances himself just short of a stroke, but they still perk-up THIS steaming pile!

Perhaps a great leading man could have salvaged this trainwreck, but poor Xanadu had only Michael Beck. I guess after they paid Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly, they could only afford Beck. He got even tho, by giving them their money's worth (zero).

So why, knowing how bad Xanadu is, and how much better a 5 gallon bucket of roquefort cheese would smell compared to this post-disco extravaganza, do I sit thru it start to finish at least 3-4 times a year?

Simple: It's got a fun soundtrack! There's a fabulous retro nightclub! There are nifty dance sequences! Gene Kelly dances and sings like the pro he is (was)! Olivia Newton-John sings while wearing a huge headdress that Lucy couldn't begin to handle...

The crown jewel of the film (prior to the climax) is a tremendously staged sequence of 40's dancers and a Patti, Maxine, and Laverne vocal group (courtesy of harmonized recordings of ONJ) and a frisky Tubes' tune, complete with Solid Gold Dancers, coming together in a mix of music, dancers and symbolism. It's a real "feel-good" sequence, don't miss it!

The true climax comes about 20 minutes later, wrapping up the unrequited love between Michael Beck and ONJ, and features Gene Kelly on roller skates, and about 40 roller disco-dancers, various circus performers, and finally Olivia Newton-John singing the big finale version of the title theme: "Xanadu".

Okay, as you've probably already surmised: you won't truly love this blacksheep of a film unless you're a gay man. We love overly dramatic scenes, catchy tunes, big openings and Disco-Diva's in fabulous hats and gowns. While Xanadu hasn't much of a story, it does have all of the above. In spades.

So for about 80 minutes, be gay: Give in, hum along, tap your foot, clap-stomp-and-cross-your-arms-in-an-"X" during the roller-skating sequence... It makes the movie go faster, and makes you forget the 55 minutes of bad movie you had to sit through to catch about 25 minutes of good music and dancing! Those 25 minutes, brief as they are, are worth it!
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The Big Bus (1976)
Earthtones, earthquakes, bombs and bimbo's
14 January 2003
The Big Bus is the kind of film that will make you giggle and grimace, frequently during a viewing. Almost of a kitchen-sink humor, you'll giggle out loud at the parodies of the great 70's disaster flicks.

This is a film with wonderful cameos featuring b-grade stars who evidently hadn't anything better to do that day, then show up at the studio and act out some schtick. It's campy, rompy, and fun. As I recall, the film's tagline was "You'll die laughing!" Well it is a disaster spoof...

Pay particular attention for a classic line in which elderly runaway from home Ruth Gordon tells Renee Auberjenoius (as a doubting priest) how happy she was that god put her in the seat next to a priest. Father Kudos responds, "If it was god that put you here, why didn't he give you a fancy window seat like mine?! I, Kudos, a doubter luxeriate in a window seat, while you, aging with age, get older yet in that disgrace of an aisle seat!! Where is your god now old woman?!" Ruth Gordon responds, "Jesus, I'm sorry I asked!"

Check this gem out - There are far worse ways to die, than to die laughing while watching "The Big Bus"!
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The Twilight Zone (1959–1964)
Twilight Zone is Intellectual Ambrosia!
22 December 2002
I never cease to be amazed by any critiscm of Serling's Twilight Zone, unless it is that the episodes could be longer. I don't know how one could find fault in any vehicle which inspires one to think, or in one which would cause the juxtaposition of him or herself into the main characters' experience in the TZ. Whether the individual episodes comment on inequality, racism, ignorance or lack of appreciation for this "normal" dimension of life, The TZ is inspiring, and thought-provoking to say the least.

Serling's later association, Night Gallery, followed in steps with the fodder for watercooler discussion but, I'm afraid, fell short of the original brilliance of The Twilight Zone. In any event, Night Gallery bares worth a second watch, just as The Twilight warrants a fourth, fifth, or tenth view. If Rod Serling is remembered only for Twilight Zone, that ought be an honor... Fortunately, we have that and much more to remember him for! Or at least, that's my opinion!
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Spooky as it was meant to be...
13 September 2002
As a child, I can recall nights I stayed up later than I ought have, watching movies late at night... After McMillan & Wife on the CBS Late-Late movie... I remember this film. As a child, the bits and pieces of this film I remember seeing were absolutely horrifying. Years later, at 32, I still find it intriguing, and suspense-filled.

It's suspense as it was meant to be... Spooky as it was meant to be. Chandeliers swaying, glasses chittering on tables, mediums possessed by demons, unknown evil that one is required to imagine.

The story isn't the strongest; the plot is a bit predictable. A modern-day fan of the horror genre is probably so jaded as to miss the classic "fear" factor of films from yesterday. The cast isn't drenched in blood, or dismembered, or eaten. Nonetheless, this is a classic thriller in the original sense. Check it out if ever you can, preferably late at night, alone. That's when the suspense has most of its power.

Also, if you value traditional suspense/horror flicks, DO NOT miss "The Haunting" (the original), based on Shirley Jackson's book, "The Haunting of Hill House" - The recent version had SPECTACULAR special effects (and took ENORMOUS liberties with Ms. Jackson's book), but for those of us that prefer to be prodded to use our own imaginations, the original film is loaded with psychological suspense. Enjoy!
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High Society (1956)
10/10
One of the great (or almost great) movie mysteries!
29 May 2002
High Society is one of my top 10 fave films - It's a classic: witty dialogue, well filmed, good actor chemistry, and a Cole Porter soundtrack! Who could want for more?! Of course, we must give a big nod to the classic "Philadelphia Story", from whom this blessing flows!

One thing that I've always wondered, and I know I'm not alone in this, is: Carolyn is rummaging through the wedding gift table, and stumbles across a silver "something" - It was shaped something like a hatchet, but with a blimp shaped object at the top, rather than the blade. She asks Mrs Lord what the object is, and Mrs Lord replies, "I haven't the foggiest", and Carolyn finally judges the gift with, "It stinks".

Later in the film, during the "Who Want's To Be A Millionaire" number, while Frank Sinatra and Celeste Holm are singing and examining the wedding presents, they too stumble across this mysterious object. They pick it up, examine it, and at the end of the song are caught by a butler in the gift room, and accidently pull the handle off. WHAT IS THIS THING?!?!?!? I've been wondering this for YEARS! hehe I wish I knew some way to contact Celeste Holm and ask her what it is - Any clues? -JF
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