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Salem's Lot (2024)
Disappointed....
Man, I was really hoping for a eally well made adaptation.... I've been waiting for this since I heard about it being filmed.
I expected a nice 6 hour mini-series... when I realized it was a movie (a short one), I figured there was no way to do the book justice. And I was right, too much was left on the cutting room floor. From what I've read the original verision, before editing, was just over three hours. This one didn't even get to two full hours.
It moved way too rapidly, leaving no room for character development at all... visually it was fine, likewise with the acting. Unfortunately, the editing fell short... it just wasn't good because of all the missing stuff.
I enjoyed the remake with Rob Lowe much more... and from what I remember of the first one, it scared the heck out of me as a kid. I'll have to give another watch along the followup.
Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll give the three hour directors cut... it wold have to be better than this version.
Peter Five Eight (2024)
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin... So Sad.
Wow, this film is the reason actors claim to "not watch" the finished movies that they have roles in.... it's bad! The three "real" are the only ones that have any real "presence" on screen, and they did nothing to save the film. The remaining "bit" players look like they were literally dragged off the street of whatever town they filmed in.
I was really looking forward to seeing Spacey... unfortunately, his role was one of the worst in the film. I almost believe that he did as bad a job as possible once he saw how garbage everything was going to turn out.
Obviously, he needs the money from whatever roles he can get at this point, but this has to hurt his pride. No way he could miss how bad the "lead" female actor was.
I realize they were going for an homage that was a little over the top in mimicking the acting of the older "noir" films, but it didn't work at all. It doesn't work as homage. It doesn't work as a straight thriller. It doesn't work as a dark comedy.
I would love to see the director try and explain exactly what this mess was supposed to be... that would doubtless be more entertaining than the film.
Mickey's Mouse Trap (2024)
Exactly what expected... unfortunately.
It wasn't the absolute worst... I've said this about a lot of these type films. I've seen worse, acting, editing, directing, and cinematography (I grew up on 80's B-Movie horror)... but, it just didn't have anything redeeming about it.
I get that you need to put this out with as small a budget as possible, but you end up with a medicocre film when there's only one person with more than 1 acting credit (other than this film) to their name.
It's painfully obvious (without even looking at their IMDB pages) which have experience and those that do not. It looks like a mediocre student film... there's no chemistry between any of the characters. They all look like they're just waiting their turn to read the lines... just not convincing as real dialogue.
Even the main actor (who has more credits to her name than the rest combined) isn't great... although, MUCH better than the rest. They literally look like they were chosen because they'd work for the exposure.
I have no issues with any of the dozen+ horror films of characters coming into the public domain, that are coming out. I just wish they were better done. I can't believe I'm saying this , but BOTH Winnie-the-Pooh horror films were actually better. I struggled to give this as many as 3 stars.
Crescent City (2024)
2 stars... only because I try not to give 1star reviews.
I knew it was just a bit part for Alec Baldwin, so i wasn't expecting anything special from him. I've never really seen anything amazing from terrence Howard, but I'm a fan of Esai Morales... especially later in his career.
That said, this was truly one of the least enjoyable films I've ever seen. I've seen worse acting, worse editing, worse writing, and worse cinematography, but in those cases it was obvious going in what you were getting.
It was just mediocre all the way around, the plot was paper thin, and I didn't buy anything that was going on with Morales, Howard or the Aussie cop... absolutely no chemistry between the actors.
I really try not to give below a 5 star rating, but for some reason 2 stars felt right after watching this.
In a Violent Nature (2024)
I was hoping for better....
After hearing about this for a few months, I was really hoping for something decent. No such luck, it was really a mediocre film.
It was not much more than a short film, fleshed out with an extended shots of absolutely nothing happening for 10-15 seconds at a time. This was done repeatedly... no doubt, to fill out the movie. If they had moved on with the shots at the proper time, the film would have come in at about 60 minutes total.
The kills were nothing to write home about, they were quick and poorly shot in most cases. Overall, the camera work was pretty weak, combined with mid-range acting and no story whatsoever, it was hard to watch all the way through.
There was absolutley nothing that would get me to recommend this or to warrant a sequel.
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)
Really Disappointing....
I actually never knew who Dylan Dog was until the recent Batman crossover in the comics. So, when I ran across this I was really looking forward to watching... especially as a fan of Brandon Routh. I thought he was great on LOT, and was annoyed when his character was taken off the show.
Unfortunately, the worst part, might actually have been Routh himself. There was nothing about his acting that I found appealing, even the obligatory P. I. narration was off.
I had a hard time getting throught the entire thing, it just wasn't good. It tried hard to be comedic... and failed for the most part. Again, the worst offender was Routh... which is odd, because he's always done well with light hearted/comedic roles. If They'd had his character go full-on camp, like Ash from the "Evil Dead", or more like a classic hard-boiled detective... leaving the comedy to the side kick, it might have worked better.
As it was, it missed entirely for me... I rarely give less than 7 stars for a film.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Not what I was expecting as a fan of the originals....
I'm one of those in the extreme minority, that simply didn't get anything out of this film. I was expecting "Mad Max" and got "Furiosa" instead. The background scenery, costuming, and vehicles were all great (I'd love to find some model kits for the vehicles). The characters and actors were also really well done... nice and over-the-top, in keepng with the original films. I was really happy with the reliance on practical effects instead of relying on CGI... this was probably my favorite aspect of the film.
Unfortunately, the storyline just didn't do it for me, I was not particularly impressed. Max was relegated to a barely there side figure for the real lead... Furiosa. I felt kind of cheated that "Mad Max" was included in the title. They should have just omitted "Max" and done a story in the same world... which they eventually did. Obviously this was what was intended all along.
Even if "Max" had been omitted, which would have changed my expectations going in, I wouldn't have been overly impressed. Visuals aside, it just wasn't anything special.... I'm don't see how people think this is some moder Sc-Fi classic, It's nowhwere close to as good as the first two films.
Dune: Part Two (2024)
Beautifully done film... and BORING!
I'm not sure how the second part is getting higher reviews from the audience than the first. I watched the first all the way through in one sitting ... I had to divide the second part into five separate viewings to complete. I was stone cold bored out of my mind, despite a really well done production. The acting, costuming, FX, world building... all were as well done as anything I've ever seen filmed. But, the pace was beyond slow... it was painful!
I'm not one of those people who need nonstop action and explosions... I love a good story driven film. This was just too slow and too boring to keep my attention. As I said above, it took me five viewings, over a six day period, to complete. I kept stopping to watch something else. I think I finished two full seasons of a TV show and at least 8 movies before I could finally get to the end of Dune II.
Ruthless (2023)
Not the worst I've seen ... but not the best.
A basic revenge action flick. I've always liked Dermot... he's embraced the straight to DVD/B-movie flicks in his later years. Fahey went the B-movie route years ago (I was always surprised he didn't make it bigger than he has). There are plenty of holes in the pretty much non-existent/basic plot, but it was't terrible. The more brutal action sequences were reminiscent of the early Seagal stuff... before he gained 200lbs and slapped that ridiculous rug on his head!
The only really bad part was the executive producer inserting himself into the movie as the detective... he's absolutely terrible. No screen prescence at all. He looks like he's just reading lines. That was a bad call... enough so that I looked it up to see who he was. When I saw how bad he was compared to EVERYONE else, I figured he was involved behind the scenes... and I was right. I don't mean to be harsh (I'm sure he's a great guy), but he needs to stop trying to get in front of the cameras.
It was no "Death Wish", but it wasn't a total waste of time. I made it through the entire film and the action scenes were decent.
The Night Agent (2023)
"Suspension of Disbelief" ... REQUIRED!
It was entertaining enough to watch 10 relatively short episodes... pacing was good, but the writing was pretty mediocre. Again, "suspesion of disbelief" will take you only so far. Some seriously large plot holes were evident from the first episode... the worst happening in the climax setting in the final episode.
1) If you're not on the list to get into Camp David, YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN. It doesn't matter who you are, or how much you berate the guards.
2) If communications were down, you would be held until verbal confirmation was made on how to handle the situation of you trying to get in.
3) There's also no way the detail, getting the POTUS into Camp David, would be allowed to continue, IF COMMUNICATIONS WERE DOWN.
4) And finally... NO WAY NO HOW do the guards let someone into Camp David without check the trunk area out. Again, it doesn't matter WHO it is.
They saved the most laughably obvious and largest "stupid" plot devices for the final episode, but there were plenty more all the way from the first episode. Oversll, it was a poorly written (honestly really stupid) plot.
I have no issue with "over the top" or even outright "goofy" plots, but when they are presented as "Plausibile" in the real world... that throws me off.
Silent Night (2023)
Prettty Good! But, editing missed something...
So, my only problem is this... how do you miss 5 words (3, if combining/hyphenating) of actual spoken dialogue (by a background gangbanger on the stairs) in editing? He clearly yells out "... you motherf*&^%3#... motherf#$@^%!" as they try to kill each other on the stairs. Not a single other character says anything anywhere in the movie. This isn't just playing music over a conversation... no conversations are to had anywhere, except by text or letter. Even the background noise/chatter is scrubbed. Again, how does editing miss this? It needs to be taken out... It kind of disrupted things for me.
I enjoyed the film... I really like Kinneman's movies/TV. Except for the abysmal RoboCop rehash (not his fault though, that's on the witers and director). Again, I enjoyed it just fine. It is what it is ... a revenge fantasy movie. Everbody does a great job conveying thought and emotion with just facial expressions and body language (much better than some other films that have tried this). The action is good all the way around and it's a pretty simple premise, nothing extra needed.
Slasher (2016)
Season 5... WOW...Just Wow!
The first 4 seasons were nothing special, neither good nor bad... passable. Season 5 is quite possibly the worst series I have ever seen in all of my televisin watching. Horrible casting, seriously bad plot, modern slang inserted into a prior time period. The worst part, is SOMEONE not only greenlit this abomination, but that after seeing the finished product they actually let it on air!
I refuse to review anything that I have not seen all the way through... I watched it all. I was amazed that it just kept getting worse! Half the actors played it straigh the other half seemed to be hamming it up. The casting was terrible, bad plot, bad execution, bad acting laughable scenarios. If Season 5 does not get this cancelled nothing will!
Blue Beetle (2023)
I was Wrong...!
Let me start by saying the 1st Blue Beetle (Dan Garret) was an A-List hero in the 40's to the mid 50's; the 2nd Blue Beetle was a B-List hero (and my favorite); and finally the 3rd Blue Beetle (Jaime Reyes) is honestly a C-List hero for the past twenty years. He never really worked in the mainstream of the DC Universe.
The reactions for the first Shazam (Captain Marvel) movie made think this would work. I thought Shazam was going to fall flat... the second one actually did. Nobody remembers Captain Marvel even though he was an A-List hero (40's-50s), that outsold Supes and Batman for over a decade.
Despite DC pushing this 3rd Blue Beetle HARD since introducing him, he just hasn't garnered much of a following. Reyes' verision has been "kid friendly" hero since being introduced (like Captain Marvel/Shazam), and I honestly thought it was going to be REALLY good! A goofy "Scooby-Doo" kid friendly Super-hero romp, with a young Latino as the alter-ego! It's gonna be a hit!
I WAS WRONG! I found myself checking the time over and over again... I was just bored! The CGI was kept to a min imum compared to other movies and what was there wasn't that great. The movie did nothing for me at all. Again, Reyes in the comics has never been one of my favorites, but I really thought it could work on the big screen. I wish it had.
The Orchard (2020)
I love a good werewolf flick ... this isn't one!
Wow ... I tuned in just because of Thomas Jane and all I can think is "he needed the money." Three legitimate actors are in it (Jane, Mohr, and Wyss), and all come off poorly.
Let's just start with the casting of the "teenage" daughters who appear to be 22, 27, and WAY over 30 for the "rebellious" oldest sister. All three are bad, especially the oldest (Bowden) ... her acting is just plain garbage, I can't believe she's been in as many things as she has.
The movie itself is poorly written and executed. There's really not much to like ... I'm sure Jane is embarrassed he was in this one. I could feel how badly it was going for him in his first scene, asking the obviously 30+ yo "teen" daughter if she was home alone. No way any actor could play it like she was a 17 yo!
Jane has done a lot of low budget movies (going the Nic Cage route), but he usually is the lone bright spot AND does pretty well with the material at hand. Not this time. He was definitely the best one in this, but he gave a pretty bad performance as well. I'm willing to write that off to a really bad script and a lack of enthusiasm when he realized what a lousy film it was going to be.
I'll try anything werewolf related, just hoping for a decent one, finally. Unfortunately, most disappoint ... this one more than most. All in all, it was hard to get through ... kudos to everyone that was able to do that.
Marry F*** Kill (2023)
Not great, but not as bad as some reviews suggest.
Let us start with the bad and then move on to the good! This offering brings the usual need for suspension of disbelief; due more to stupid decisions being made by the characters rather than anything having to do with the subject matter.
Did it bring anything new to the screen? NO. Was the storyline anything amazing or even interesting? NO. It was definitely a small screen offering; lower budget, lower expectations. Absolutely nothing that would be greenlit for an actual theatrical run.
There really was no cool backstory to lead us into what was going on. It unfolds in a fairly chronological order, letting us in on what exactly is going on by the end.
Now for the good! After all that was stated above, I have to say, it was surprising well acted! Some were better than others, but all did a solid job with the material thay were given. Make of that what you will. Also, I found the directing, editing (for the most part), cinematography, and pace, to be fairly well done.
In short, it was a solid effort even if nothing new or noteworthy came out. I really expected to give up or start hitting fast forward within the first twenty minutes. I was surprised that It kept me interested enough to watch from start to finish.
Desperate Hours (1990)
Pretty mediocre effort...
Wow... huge fan of Mickey Rourke here, and all I can says is this was really NOT a good film! A thriller with BOTH Rourke AND Anthony Hopkins... how could it be bad? I was stoked when this came up as a recommendation. I'm sure I saw it years ago, but I really didn't remember anything. This is before Rourke destroyed his career (well, right in the middle of all this) with bad behavior, boxing, botched plastic surgery, and just plain bad decisions.
The Razzie nomination for worst actor was well deserved... he was unconvincing as a psycho in this. The rest of the cast were pretty awful as well. The only bright spot was Hopkins, and let's face it... he wasn't given much to work with.
Bad story, bad directing, bad casting.
Blood on the Highway (2008)
Worth the watch... barely
Well, I was hoping for a nice campy movie, along the lines of a Bruce Campbell or Alan Tudyk showing. You know, self aware, goofing it up. But in a good way.
This is not it, the three leads are barely what i would call actors. I did not bother to look their IMDB up, but I would not be surprised if this was a first role for any of them and if they never did anything again.
There is a difference between hamming it up and just plain bad acting. These three were bad, period. It just looks as if the people making this were using locals that claimed to acting experience or were simply willing to not get paid, just so they could show up in a film.
The only good thing, and just barely at that, was Nicholas Brendan. And after over 100 episodes of a fairly campy dramedy series like like Buffy, you would expect him to to hit his marks and deliver his lines like a pro. He simply was not enough to elevate the movie, for me anyway.
With some other actors in the major parts that were actually up to the task, this could have been really good. As it is, I would only call it mediocre at best.
I have no problem with people that think it is a good or even great movie, "to each their own". There are parts that definitely work, but they are few and far between.
Invitation to a Murder (2023)
I love a good period piece... sadly, this falls short.
Well, I was really hoping for a nice Christie homage or even Sam Spade or Phillip Marlowe. It did not happen. The scenery, sets, and costuming were nicely done, but the story was just average. There was not much going on with the lead character, let alone the rest of the cast.
The actors were not bad, just not very good. Honestly, as much as I like Seamus Deever, his British accent was pretty forced. Once again, American actors usually do pretty horrendous British accents. Get a Brit next time.
There really is nothing for me to reccomend here, if you want to see it done correctly watch the BBC productions of the various Christie offerings or any of the previous Spade and Marlowe films.
Wolf Manor (2022)
Better than expected...
I was expecting a REALLY cheaply made film with actors pulled from whever they could find someone to work for free or close to that. It was surprisingly well acted and filmed. Unfortunately that does not make up for a relatively mediocre film.
It looked as if quite a lot of work went into the effects as far as the werewolf was concerned... it was still a fairly bad looking werewolf. The worst part, for me, was how the actor in the costume moved... it was just BAD!
The movie was played more as Camp than serious... probably the best way to go with the material offered. And, as I said, a fairly well done as far as acting and cinematogarphy are concerned. The overall story was sparse, not much to recommend it really.
Agent Elvis (2023)
I like the everything but...
I was ALL IN when I saw this on the site, I love a good Elvis parody. Having said that, why would you do this show and not make a decent effort to do an over the top parody of his voice and speaking style? Johnny Bravo sounded more like Elvis! Otherwise, I like it! Do something about the voice, it sounds like a normal guy. Seriously though, McC has a normal voice that is all Southern drawl. I'm not sure why he softened it up so much. Have fun with it. I will admit to only getting to the first 2 eps so far, maybe McC gets better. I usually do not put in a review until I've seen every episode, I will come back and redo it after I watch the rest.
Marlowe (2022)
I REALLY wanted to like this...
I am a big fan of the novels (read them all), and as another reviewer points out... Marlowe is NOT an action hero. You do not see the rough and tumble that you get with the Spillane novels - Mike Hammer. I was expecting a nice slower paced story like we got with another Neeson movie -A Walk Among The Tombstones-, which was fantastic. I love period pieces, the scenes and costuming were great, the actors were great... I just expected something more from Neeson. I did not really buy into him as Marlowe. The story was a bit flat for me... not sure if it was Neeson or just a case of a poor story and directing.
Day of the Dead (2021)
Pretty mediocre...
I had some hopes for it going in, unfortunately it goes absolutely nowhere. I don't care about any of the characters one way or the other. Decent effects, but pretty mediocre writing and pacing of the episodes. It can't decide if its serious or camp... I'm fine with a bit of each, but it misses the boat either way. Six episodes in and NOBODY seems to realize you go for a head shot! Whatever "universe" it exists in hasn't had a bajillion zombie movies and TV series. It makes Z-Nation look like a masterpiece... which it WAS NOT! I gave up on SYFY years ago, looks like they're still up to the same old stuff that got me to stop watching.
One Way (2022)
WAS HOPING FOR BETTER
That's two mediocre Kevin Bacon movies in a row for me... he was great in both, the rest of the cast, not so much. The story, directing and editing was pretty b-level. I hope this isn't a dip/end to his career that has him doing "whatever" comes his way, just for money. Again, he looked great, the overall movie was just not good. I thought he was going to be a main player in the movie, he ends up on the short end. Not great for an actor that was as good as he was for as long. Hopefully he does a better job vetting the scripts that he decides to film going forward. I usually love what he does, I'd hate to see him go out on a sour note.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
A lot of people missed the point... this is a PARODY!
The majority of the bad reviews didn't understand that it was a parody (the title says it all). The ones I read were mainly about how absurd the movie was... which is the point of parody. No FBI Psych would take their kid to work and into the same room as a killer, let alone leave them in there as they talk to their boss. That's the point; they are making fun of the flat out "stupid", "suspension of disbelief" moments that make it into the genre. There are too many to bother going into, they hit every trope they possibly could. What actually amazes me is that so many people gave it a terrible review because they thought it was supposed to be a serious thriller. How do you miss that this was poking fun at the genre?
Survive the Game (2021)
WOW! JUST... WOW!
When the best thing in a movie is Bruce Willis... "phoning it in", you know you have a true POS film. Bad camerawork... horrifyingly bad acting... bad fight scenes... bad editing... and a truly moronic script! This run by Willis makes the garbage films by Nicholas Cage in the past 10 years, look like Oscar winners by comparison. At least he tries regardless of the script.