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Reviews
Cade: The Tortured Crossing (2023)
This Man Needs to be Stop. Please.
Ok, where do I start.
To begin with, the lack of talent of this monumentally delusional fella is unparalleled. People might say 'The Room' is the worst movie ever, and it probably is, though I do beg to differ. In my humble opinion that would be the case had not Neil Breen ever existed. Sadly though, he did.
I have seen all of his so-called movies. They all are undeniably horrible; non existing writing & cinematography, delusional characters, Mr Breen himself that can only do good even when he's on various killing sprees, wooden acting (especially on his part,) lack of facial expressions (times-two on his part), the list goes on.
And, after having carefully 'considered' his pedigree, I must say that 'Cade: The tortured Crossing' reaches - by a long shot - the peak of senile stupidity.
Neil Green is a strange animal, even stranger than the white are-you-kidding-me-what-is-this-CGI tiger present in this mega turkey. I mean, each movie he makes, things get worst. He seems not to be able to understand anything on moviemaking, wrapped in his (I'd guess) heavily self medicated self delusion.
I cannot get past the childish attitude this untalented fella projects on the screen. I cannot get past the moment he saw a... "Hey, look! A green screen! OMG now I can make a whole movie disregarding (even more than before) perspective, storytelling, acting. I gotta run though, gotta use as many pictures as possible from my ShutterStock free trial.
A Romanian Castle? Perfect!
A dilapidated building? Right on!
The Austrian Alps? Fantastic!
Whatever? Even better!
Who cares!! Now I will be able to do any nonsensical no-sense anytime I want. Tell you what, from now on call me Neil Green."
Ok, all jokes aside he clearly must have some kind of issues, and I am saying that because no functioning person can misuse a brain the way he does.
I need to add something else. I have never reviewed any of his stuff, this time I had to. Especially after having noticed the scam he's pulling off here on the IMDB database. The scores this master-crap is receiving (10s after 10s) reflect a troubling state of affairs. Clearly, the desire to inflate ratings means that among this man's numerous negative qualities a new one, perhaps the worst, is emerging: deception.
Enough now. Let's just end it by saying I wouldn't wish my worst enemy watching this pile of crap.
Please Neil Breen, please stop this insanity. Yes, you have a Ferrari, and yes you are and forever will be the good one, we got it. We finally did. So now your work's done. Please, disappear. Please.
Gehenna: Where Death Lives (2016)
Seen it All, Yet a Nice Ending
Yup, that's pretty much all.
A story we've seen so many times, yet the twist at the end made this turkey gain a point on an otherwise law-ranking movie.
The potential was there, that is why it was sad to watch the movie unfold and become what it became. Ok, so it made on a shoe string, it was a kickstart project, making the budget clearly an issue if not THE issue.
However my main critic was on acting, and directing. Let me say it again: acting (first), and directing (after.)
The acting was absolutely atrocious, there are no other ways to describe that. The only two I felt were 'ok actors' were the bearded guy and the Japanese official. Other than that, total emptiness; mono dimensional, stiff uninspired & uninspiring performances.
I've gotta say, the main blonde character was just beyond repair, it hurt to watch her moving around on the set as if she was buying an energy drink whilst being on a 'meh' mood.
To sum it up, I gave it a 4 but then switched it to a 5 for the ending twist.
The Bad Batch (2016)
As bad as they come
I was absolutely convinced this no-sensical turkey was made by a millennial. I might be wrong about it , and I couldn't care less, nevertheless everything g in this movie made me think it was made by someone who didn't live the '80s (or the '90s, or both) and was desperately trying to make ''em look cool though not having the faintest clue what was cool about them.
To make a story short, it was bad. The idea actually wasn't that bad; mind you, nothing new, but it just never took off. Actually, it sank almost immediately and never recovered.
I get it, it's not easy to make something cool and keep that pace all throughout. Then again, you shouldn't even try if you're not absolutely sure that, beyond that, you'll also be original.
This turkey failed on so many level I fail to understand this wasn't crystal clear during principal photography.
It's like it came straight from TikTok; a bad bunch (no pun intended) oh short clips dislocated, badly arranged, made by someone who took one too many acid in the desert.
Bad, devastatingly bad.
The Last Days of American Crime (2020)
Horrendous
Great title, awesome idea, yet the worst possible outcome. I don't even know where to start. This was not a movie, this was an insult to what movies are about.
The absolute no-sense story, the editing that even worsened the already mentioned story, the acting which was abysmally bad... Cringe has anew meaning now.
Also, I cannot get quite past that they're clearly in South Africa, yet they're so desperate to make us believe that are the United States.
Why, why in the world they couldn't show us Ponte City for what it really is? A 'fascinating' (for so many bad and good reasons) Johannesburg sky scraper, that is. Build a story about that city goddamit, use all the real that's there. But no, Now a South African landscape resembles the US-Canadian border.
Ok, I so want my 2+ hours back. That was unwatchable.