SMLA11 Reviews

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

Hilarious, but the weak link in the trilogy

[7/10 · 27 July 2002]

(There could possibly be spoilers, so read at your own risk. And if they are spoilers, they're not big)

This movie was hilarious, no doubt saying that. But it is definitely the worst of the three. It's not as fresh as the first, or as original of jokes as the second, but it still has its great moments (The cameos were hysterical). Although some cameos didn't deliver anything but stupidity. Can somebody answer me, what the hell was Britney Spears and the Osbournes doing there?!? I didn't hear a single laugh out of anyone in the audience when those two cameos arrived. Here are my pros and cons of the movie:

Pros: 1. Once again, the hilarious cameos. I will only say that Danny DeVito's was hysterical. 2. Fat Bastard (who, surprisingly, isn't there long enough)Minime, and Dr. Evil steal every scene they are in.

Cons: 1. Once again, the useless cameos. 2. Goldmember, was not funny whatsoever besides his strange dutch accent. He was there to gross you out with his skin problem. 3. Foxxy Cleopatra was unfunny also and is just there to wear cleavage (I didn't mind but she was the worst girl of the three). 4. Ridiculous and sometimes, just stupid, bathroom jokes. 5. They steal many of the past two movies jokes and put them in this one, which was aggravating.6. The absence of Heather Graham's character wasn't a good thing. 7. Michael Caine's character was a little bit aggravating but had many funny jokes. 8. Last but not least, the worthless ending. I was so anticipating the ending to see what happens, but it ends up stupid.

So as you can see there are many more cons than pros but I will still recommend you to see it, but only if you like bathroom jokes, which I don't. Rating 7 out of 10.

Like Mike (2002)

Pretty Stupid

[28 June 2002]

Now, movies are now run with music superstars. Britney Spears in Crossroads, Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember, Busta Rhymes in (the awesome) Halloween: Resurrection, LL Cool J was in H20 and Deep Blue Sea, Master P was in quite a few films, Snoop Dogg in Bones, Eminem in 8 mile, etc. Now it's Bow Wow's turn to step on the court. Hereb is a direct quote from MTV's own Gideon Yago: "Lil' Bow Wow finds the shoes with the letters MJ inside and has become an all-star basketball player. Trust me, hilarity ensues."

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I can go on for a while but hilarity doesn't ensue. The plot is pretty stupid. Bow Wow and friends find old shoes with the faded letters MJ in them. They then go to a basketball game and, coincidentally, Bow Wow gets the chance to win some money if he goes head to head with Morris Chestnut, who plays a good basketball player. Once again, coincidentally, with his good shoes he wins. Now, what are the odds. Apparently, the letters in the shoes must mean Michael Jordan. They could've meant Michael Jackson and he could've been doing the moonwalk on the court. And then he keeps doing awesome, stupidity ensues, stupidity ensues, etc. The actors give good enough performances but the stupidity hurts it.

Overall, I'm having a good day today so I'm not going to kick it too bad and give it that bad of a rating. Not recommended. Only for family, it could be good but not for me. Rating 3 out of 10.

I Am Sam (2001)

Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning give powerful performances

[28 June 2002]

Everybody says that Sean penn's performance was just like everybody else who plays mentally challenged people. they are all wrong. He is excellent and has one of the best performances ever. So does Dakota Fanning, she is excellent. It's quite a touching and sad movie. They have one big flaw. If Sam can take care of Lucy when she was a baby, he can take care of her when she's grown up. She's more mature.

Overall the movie is excellent and almost perfect. Rating 10.5 out of 10. (Tied for 2nd Favorite Movie)

Men in Black II (2002)

Excellent! Better than the first!

[10/10 · 27 June 2002]

I'm sure Barry Sonnenfield was thinking, "Why not make a sequel (to Men in Black)? It made over 200 million bucks and there's no reason to not make more money, right?" He's right. There is no point in not making a sequel to a great movie. Just better make sure that you don't make a horrible sequel to a great movie (like Grease's pathetic sequel). Trust me, he didn't. Oh, he definitely didn't. Here's my review:

The movie is excellent. Perfect. It's no Coming to America or Training Day but it is definitely awesome. The movie is basically what you see in the trailer. Agent J (Will Smith) is doing his work as a top secret agent and making sure no one learns about aliens. K, on the other hand, is a postal worker. Yep, a postal worker. There just happens to be an evil alien (Lara Flynn Boyle) who needs something before the world will be seriously screwed. One problem. K knows where that is. It is J's job to locate K, deneuralize him, and rid the world of the scum of the universe... again. They reprise the role of Z, played by Rip Torn. They also have a few new characters, T and Rita. It is a great movie. Sure, the trailer gave away some good jokes but they have enough more to please us all.

The acting...what do you think. An Academy Award winner, an Academy award nominee, two VERY sexy ladies, and talking worms. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith are excellent as always. They brought a little more to there characters and worked there jokes perfectly. Lara Flynn Boyle is one of the sexy ladies and was awesome as the villain. I can't choose if she or Vincent D'Onforio was better. The other sexy lady is Rosario Dawson who was very good here. Patrick Warburton was there for a little while and his character was good. The worms. I liked them as much as I like hemorrhoids. Enough said. I don't loath of them as much of Jar Jar Binks but I still didn't like their presence. The found a few chuckles out of me but not enough. The dog was pretty good here. I think his name was Frank.

Overall the movie is definitely awesome and VERY recommended. Another summer blockbuster. Rating VERY BIG 10 out of 10.

Home Improvement (1991–1999)

Great show

[24 June 2002]

This is truly a great show. Tim Allen and the rest of the cast is wonderful and very enjoyable. The shows are almost always good and everything else about it is great.

Overall the show is a blast and I still watch reruns of it. Rating ***1/2 out of ****.

Medal of Honor: Frontline (2002 Video Game)

Awesome game

[22 June 2002]

Medal of Honor Frontline is probably one of the coolest games ever made. You are Jimmy Patterson, a US soldier who must fight off the nazis and do all sorts of missions. The only thing I have against this game is that its pretty aggravating to climb ladders and fall off every single time. The missions are just awesome and you get to play with all sorts of guns.

Overall the game is awesome and you will love it. Rating A+++. (Tied for best game)

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

Overrated

[10/10 · 22 June 2002]

For some strange reason, the characters don't seem to have any bit of their hearts into the movie. With the exception of Samuel L. Jackson and Ewan McGregor, the rest of the cast has bad dialogue or bad acting. Natalie Portman was super hot in this but her chemistry with Christenson was OK. The fight scenes were awesome. Incredible. They were all just too cool. The best death scene is by far, by Mace Windu. You'll know what I mean when you see it.

Overall the movie is not too good yet not too bad. Rating 6 out of 10.

Windtalkers (2002)

Why did they stick around Cage instead of the codetalkers?

[20 June 2002]

When I first walked into this movie, I had extremely high hopes. There has been so many great war movies these past years. Like Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, Thin Red Line, The Patriot, (average) We Were Soldiers, (I guess you could call it a war movie) Behind Enemy Lines, etc. So what could hurt this film? Huh? Well, a whole lot of things. Knowing John Woo is a great director there shouldn't be many problems. Just let me start.

1) Goofs: FACTUAL ERROR: Soldiers don't carry Hershey's because the chocolate would melt and screw the gun up. ANACHRONISMS: 50 star flag was not made. It should be 48. REVEALING MISTAKES: Obvious dummies in flipped jeep after Ben "takes a smoke". Plus, many more. 2) Storyline does not stick to the Navajo codetalkers enough and distinctly revolve around Joe Enders (whose not real). They use the Navajo as plot devices more of the actual reality uses for them. 3) Unrealistic events. How in the hell can Japanese men not lay a scratch on Joe (Cage) and he can hit like a million of them. *Spoilers * Spoilers * In the beginning, a grenade blows up a foot away from Joe's foot and all he has is a wobbly leg and a screwed up ear. He should've been in pieces. Also, in the end, Joe gets shot twice by Japanese with AK-47s and he kills them all with a pistol. In addition, he gets shot in both legs and one arm, and can still be able to pick up a wounded Ben Yahzee. * More Spoilers ahead * 4) How did some samurai come to Christian Slater and chop off his head without him seeing? Or Whitehorse? * End Spoilers *

Overall the movie should be better than it is and the 4 stuff above really messed up the movie. Rating 6.5 (or **1/2) out of 10.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Better than the first

[15 June 2002]

This movie is a definitely great sequel to the original box office hit. Culkin is back and he's still good. Where is he now? Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are back and better than ever and funnier than ever. Too bad they ruined the movies with the horrendous Home Alone 3.

Overall the movie's still got it and better than the first. Rating 10 out of 10.

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)

Still hilarious!

[10/10 · 15 June 2002]

Leslie Nielson is back as Lieutenant Frank Drebin, the hilarious cop who has to save the day. It's still very funny and you should definitely go see it if you've either seen the first, or just like movies.

Overall the movie is once again excellent from beginning to end and you will love it. Rating BIG 10 out of 10.

Home Alone (1990)

Entertaining

[15 June 2002]

Home Alone is a very entertaining film about a boy who gets left behind for a vacation and must fend off robbers. Machauley Caulkin is great as Kevin and very enjoyable. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are perfect as the robbers.

Overall the movie is a great entertaining film and I recommend it. Rating 9 out of 10.

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

Hilarious!

[10/10 · 15 June 2002]

Leslie Nielson rocks in this great spoof of policemen/crime movies. The entire movie is a hilarious romp and I highly recommend it. If you want to see a great comedy, then I suggest you see this one.

Overall the whole movie, from beginning to end, is wonderful. Rating BIG 10 out of 10.

Minority Report (2002)

Fantastic!

[1/10 · 12 June 2002]

I've recently had the chance to go to a private screening of the brand new film, Minority Report. The movie stars Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, and Max von Sydow. The direction is by the absolutely wonderful Steven Spielberg. When I came out of the screening, I couldn't wait to see it on opening day of June, 21st. Here's my review:

I've got to say, this is a fantastic film. Steven Spielberg is great at the direction seat and he definitely directed a true gem. The movie follows a cop who has such great technology, that he can catch future criminals before they actually commit the crime. The tables are now turned on him and he's in the run for his life to prove that he is not going to commit a crime. I guess the movie's a little bit predictable, but for the most part, it's good enough. The movie's basically like a Blade Runner (futuristic setting) of our time. it doesn't have the same plot or nothing but a futuristic vibe. I definitely want the Lexus in the future that Tom Cruise drives.

Tom Cruise proves once again that he knows how to act and this may be one of his best movies since Rain Man. I've seen Colin Farrell in Hart's War and in that, I guess he proved something. But in this one, he proves he can act even better. The last time I've ever saw Max von Sydow was in needful Things and in that he played the devil. In this he's a little nicer. He does good in this.

Overall the movie is great and Tom Cruise and Steven Spielburg should work together more often. The action sequences are great. I think that this could be another summer blockbuster. Highly recommended. Rating 10 out of 10.

The Mole (I) (2001–2008)

The Best Reality Show

[11 June 2002]

The Mole is definitely the best reality show yet. The show is very fast paced and keeps you guessing who the mole is and who you think is going to win. It is very good and I hope they don't give the following seasons of the shows the dreadful ax.

Overall the show is very cool and I highly recommend it. Rating **** out of ****. (Favorite Reality Show)

WWE Tough Enough (2001–2015)

Good show

[9 June 2002]

I'm definitely not a fan of wrestling. Definitely not. But I really like this show. It's a good behind-the-scene look at the making of casting wrestlers. It's a good show and I'm really happy that Maven and Nidia won. They were cool.

Overall the show is a great wrestling show and better than wrestling, itself. Rating A+.

Event Horizon (1997)

Good scary fun

[9 June 2002]

Event Horizon is about a rescue team who finds a missing ship that just might be in between the boundaries of reality and hell. I enjoyed this movie. A little freaky at times but most of all its good scary. Laurence Fishburne did his character perfectly and I liked him. Sam Neill's character was just plain freaky at times and at other times cool. He did good as well. The other characters are very cool as well, and most of their deaths were freaky. The lady chasing that little kid. I bet she didn't see that one coming, now did she?

Overall the movie is good scary entertainment and I recommend it. Rating 9.5 out of 10.

elimiDATE (2001– )

Dismissed times two

[8 June 2002]

This is just like the show on MTV except the lucky guy/girl gets to date 4 men/women. In each round, the person goes on a date to get to know the contestants, and at the end of the round, he/she cuts one of them. Great show, I highly recommend it.

Overall the show is very cool and its interesting to see what contestants do to get they're date to love them. Rating A+.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)

Good, yet stupid

[7 June 2002]

Van Wilder follows the National Lampoon tradition of having a college flick where everybody guzzels beer and has sex. It actually follows Ryan Reynolds as Van Wilder, a "legend" at his college whose father cut him off from getting any money to go to college. It is up to him to have some crazy parties and get some money.

Ryan Reynolds is an entertaining Van Wilder and I thought he was good. Tara Reid is a pretty good Gwen and her character wasn't too bad. The other actors and actresses who play the characters weren't that bad and, actually, there presence were likable.

The only big problem this movie has is it's stupidity. Some of the jokes were just completely not funny and just won't let a laugh break through. The plot isn't that good the way it's brought out. It could be a lot better. The other problem is that it has nothing to do with National Lampoon's. The only "connection" is the guy who played Otter from Animal House plays Van Wilder's father, Vance Wilder. That's not even a connection.

Overall this would've been a good time for Jason Voorhees to kill these horny kids. Rating 5 out of 10.

Weekend at Bernie's (1989)

Good comedy

[7 June 2002]

Weekend at Bernie's is about a dead guy, whose two employees decide to have fun and pretend that he is alive to party at his house. The two young employees are Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman. They do pretty good here and I enjoyed him. Terry Kiser is good dead. All he has to do is lay down and act dead, that's about it.

Overall the movie is a good comedy and I recommend it. Rating 9 out of 10.

Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970)

Excellent depiction

[10/10 · 7 June 2002]

Tora! Tora! Tora! is the true depiction of the attacks on Pearl Harbor, with no love story crap like the other Pearl Harbor. It actually focuses on both the Japanese' side attack and how they planned it out to the American's side of things and how we recovered. That is how it really happened. Miss Pearl Harbor (2001) and go see this.

Overall the movie is an excellent depiction and I highly recommend it. Rating 10 out of 10.

X-Men (2000)

Great movie

[10/10 · 6 June 2002]

I'm not a true fan of the X-Men comic books but I did happen to like this movie. I thought that this movie is a really cool movie. i enjoyed the performances of Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Famke Janssen, Ian McKellan, and Patrick Stewart. They all did really good as the characters they had to play.

Overall the movie is a great movie from beginning to end and it is very enjoyable. Rating 10 out of 10.

Fear (1996)

Not too bad

[6 June 2002]

I have to admit, this movie isn't too bad. the finale was really cool and Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon's chemistry wasn't that bad. Willy Peterson was great as the father and he was one of the most convincing people in the whole film. the movie is pretty scary but not as scary as it should be.

Overall the movie isn't as bad as people say and I recommend it. Rating 9 out of 10.

Die Hard (1988)

Excellent

[6 June 2002]

Bruce Willis does excellent as John McClane, and he does perfect as him. The whole movie is an action-packed ride of fun and you will love it. Alan Rickman does really good as the terrorist leader, Hans Gruber, and I enjoyed him as the bad guy of the film.

Overall the movie is highly recommended by me and trust me, you'll like it from beginning to end. Rating 10 out of 10.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Worst in series, but still good

[6 June 2002]

Indiana Jones is back, but not joined alone again. He is joined by a singer named, Willie, and an orphan named Shorty. Now, Indy is trying to take down some Indian cult guys who like to rip peoples hearts out and then melt them in lava. This is the worst in the series, but certainly not disappointing.

Overall the movie is a very cool action movie. Rating 8.5 out of 10.

The Bourne Identity (2002)

As great as the book

[10/10 · 5 June 2002]

I was recently asked to attend a screening of The Bourne Identity and I said "Sure, why not." I mean, I've read the book a lot and I enjoyed the heck out of it and the other ones. So when I came out of the screening, I was REAL happy I saw it. My review starts here:

The Bourne Identity follows the story by Robert Ludlum and the plot follows: Meet Jason Bourne. He has amnesia and the only thing he can remember is waking up on the shore of the Mediterranean Sea. A few evidences of what has happened to him that he does not remember, like a bank account of millions of dollars. But the things that he doesn't know, is the things that may lead him without a future. The rest of the movie is an action-packed movie with great acting and great directing.

Matt Damon gives a very credible performance as Jason Bourne and I enjoyed him all the way throughout the movie. Franka Potenta does good as what she has to do but her accent seems to change a lot. Chris Cooper is really cool in this one and I liked him a lot here. Co-starring in this are a few big named stars like Julia Stiles and Brian Cox. Doug Liman directed himself a true gem of a movie here. He definitely proved that he is a great director. The movie was not filmed in a trilogy but the books are in one. I really can't wait for the sequels to come.

Overall the movie is excellent on many levels and this could very well be a

blockbuster of the summer. I recommend this to those who have read the book and just everyone. Rating BIG 10 out of 10.