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kevinclark1988-1
Reviews
Chillers (1987)
God Awful piece of crap!
Going into this I was expecting anything really good, but after the damage this inflexed on me, I'm just happy to think strait. It's hard to think what the film-makers( HA!) this was a good movie. the stories, and I use the world loosely, are incoherent and do make any sense at all. There just stupid things that happen at random. the acting, if can be called acting is horrible I've seen batter acting in toy ads! I know it's a low-budget video-bin garbages, but still even it's not like they tried. Will after stetting thought it, I feel very sleepy and still #yawws# do, I'm going to go lie down.
WARNNING: DO NOT ATEMP TO DRIVE, WALK, READ OR DO ANY AFTER Watching CHILLERS. OTHER SIDE AFFECTTS MAY ENGULED LOSE OF ANY OR ALL METAL FUNKIONS.
Drive Thru (2007)
Fast Food is bad like this movie!
When I saw that this was going being TV, I thought cool. I know it was going to bad, from hiring about off some b-movie site. But this was really bad, not as bad as Epic Movie ( How CENSORED like that got made is beyond me), but still pretty bad.
Our story beings with two really bad rapper wanna-bes and there brain dead girl friends, after getting stoned, got get from a Drive-thru restaurant at 2 AM! After getting mouth offed at by the guy at the voice box thing the two guys sneak in to beat the voice box guy, This when things start getting dumb. The morons don't reallies the place is closed, I don't know if was drugs they took or what but you have to blind not to see the place is closed, then there killed by a heavy metal reject from Killer Klowns From Outer Space!
Won after the movie becomes this miss-mess of ideas, from other, better, movies. Here's a list of them:
An Nightmare on elm street Happy Brithbay to me Gappa
Well just those three I came name right now. heres a list of things about this movie that make it so dumb:
1. The killer is a ghost, but they still killed him. 2. There is No Way On God's green earth, that a character called Hory the clown would be aloud to saw to children. 3. No way in hell a TV ad, with behaver like that would shown on TV burring the day! 4. Whean two losers are being killed in plane site, someone would have came to their aid! 5. horribly lame jokes, about AC/DC, Elvira and other stuff. 6. Microwave..... more like cardboard box! 7. Very bad effects. 8. Very,Very, Very bad acting 9. So her boyfriend is the killer now? 10. Careters pop in and out of nowhere all the time 11. How the hell the mom known where her kid was 12. So way was the ghost/killer whoring her about him? 13. Horrordla Havey Matel rap sound track.
So in short this is movie is like fast Food, BAD FOR YOU!
Rating: 2/10
Zarkorr! The Invader (1996)
Zarkorr the Lame!
Aliens let lose a giant monster named Zarkorr, then send down a hologram that looks your average stupid teenage girl to tell postman, Tommy Ward (Rhys Pugh, in the only movie you ever see him in) that has been chosen to fight. Also if he loses the plant goes doom, so he goes off to fight Zarkorr the Invader! This movie is bad, very bad. So bad it you need negative numbers just to gave it a rattan. Horridly written, bad directing, way below Power Rangers over-the-top wooden acting that you're just whiting for a horde of Lumberjacks to come out of no where and cut them down! And don't get me started on the theme song at the end. The people who made this stemming pall of S$@# should not be aloud near a camera or any thing to do with films. Zarkorr is a cool looking monster that should have been in a movie a million times better than this one. Do your self a favour and don't see this movie, it's 80 or so minute of life. The actors that are in this never worked again by way.
3/10
Troll 2 (1990)
Byound Bad, beyond stupid, Troll 2!
I herd of this movie for quit sometime now, I know it was going to bad, I did know how bad it would be. This is the movie like getting your rube bits rip off! That how painful I found Troll 2 to be.
The plot is so full of hole, it's just one big hole. The actors and actress are Ethe way over the top, more wooden than a tree or just don't even try! This is sub-porn acting, no, no this is even blow sub-porn acting.
Let's look at worst of the bunch. The Actress playing the Troll queen or whatever stupid thing she called herself. The women is, as best as I can tell, a goth redneck up to her eyeballs on drugs! The effects for this movie is ten steps down from the ones used in the final fight the Power rangers movie. The trolls look like something some kid made in art class. There most encompassing things I ever seen in my life! Every one involved with should be lock up, and copy burned! -100/10
Abominable (2006)
The Beast Bigfoot EVER!
Abominable is maybe the beast Bigfoot movie ever, every thing about this cool. The Monster is so bad ass, I mean it bits someone's hole face off! The acting is good, but great.The characters are realistic.
One thing this film, unlike most monster movie made nowadays, scared the hell! And that is say something, because I don't scare easily. I really hope there's a follow up gets made. I would LOVE to see six or more of those things run rampant in a town!
Anyway, this a great monster movie,that all horror fans out there should see!
9/10